Authors Note -
Gather round children of every gender and age...
Wouldn't you like to read something strange?...
Based on the witty professor I love and young boy I adore...
The author of this rubbish thought normal would be a bore....
And so they wove a tale of pure disgust...
For those who study Biology, this horror is a must...
Brought to you by the girl who's a queen of this it seems...
I wish you all an early Halloween!...
~ pheonix2012 ~
"Professor Layton, I see nothing the matter with this man. Which... worries me." The doctor tapped his pen against the clipboard and clucked his tongue. "There could be a minor cause. Stress-- perhaps from school? Maybe something disagreed with his stomach, or it's the flu. But... there aren't other flu symptoms than vomiting."
"I'm assuming..." Layton said cautiously; he didn't want to bring up the possibility but it was either him or the doctor who would have to. "...that it could signify a greater illness?"
"Yes." The doctor sat down in his chair. "I'd suggest some tests to narrow down the cause."
"I see. Thank you."
They shook hands. Layton picked up his coat and hat, then returned to the waiting room. Luke looked up as soon as he opened the door. There was a fidgety look on his face. He was trying to be calm, but still shaking inside. He sprang to Layton's side, demanding to know what the doctor had told him.
"In a moment." Layton raised a hand. "Ma'am, I would like to schedule another appointment."
The secretary peered over her red horn-rimmed glasses through the window. "There's an opening for next Tuesday, and an opening the Friday two we--"
Luke gasped and shook the professor's coat. He looked up desperately.
"The doctor said he wasn't sure of what the cause was and wants to do a few more tests."
"Doesn't know?" Luke didn't let go of the professor. "That's worse." He stood catatonic and quiet as Layton scheduled the appointment.
"Luke, you're going to be all right." Layton placed a hand on his back and led him out. Luke was on autopilot, his stomach was curdling just like this and past mornings this week, posssibly for those reasons as well as the nervousness of the vague news from the doctor.
They passed the men's restroom and Luke couldn't take it anymore. He ran in and vomited in the urinal. Layton patted his back as he heaved over the porcelain. When Luke began to stand up, his mentor handed him a napkin.
(A/N: oh wouldn't you hate to be the man next in line in the bathroom queue? Having to piss, right into Luke's spew?)
"It will be all right, my boy."
"You don't think it's related to..." Luke hesitated, glancing around. He only finished his statement in a hushed tone, long after they had left the restroom. "You don't think it's related to what we've been doing lately?"
Layton flushed and pulled at his turtleneck, "I hardly think it's the cause. Sure, the symptoms are similar, but a man could never conceive a child."
"I didn't mean ithat/i." Luke laughed. "I meant... that it disrupted my system or something."
"Does that mean you would like to stop?"
"What?!" Luke's jaw dropped. "I-- No way!"
"Were you not worried about your health earlier?" Layton raised a brow.
Luke pouted and opened the passenger's side door of the car. He flinched as the door groaned. "I think you need a new Laytonmobile."
"It's an antique, Luke."
"Antique, ancient, same thing. I'm the only young thing you have around you, Professor. Everything you live with is... as you call it, 'antique.'"
Layton started the engine. The whole way home Luke stared out the window sullenly. He wondered if even the great Professor Layton wouldn't be able to solve his ailment. So far it seemed a doctor wouldn't be able to.
That he became sure of the following week. This time Luke stayed with Hershel to hear the verdict: nothing. Two months later the vomiting stopped. Layton kept an eye on the twenty-year-old for a few days before he canceled the next appointment. He was slightly relieved to see that Luke had stopped purging, and then he was curious.
iWhen did Luke start getting fa-- I mean-- chubby?/i
It was a passing thought.
A month later it flitted through his mind again one night. He ran a hand across Luke's tummy and stopped, running straight across, then back. And then, he had to turn the lamp on and gape.
"Professor." Luke grit his teeth.
"Luke, you... you haven't been drinking, have you? Large amounts...?"
"As you've suggested, I haven't drunk a lick. It's only been water, milk, and tea for me."
"But your stomach, it's..."
"Fat?"
"Well, ye-- No. No. I just mean you're a little chubby but well. . .men's stomachs don't protrude and feel like a hollow ball. Normally." Layton looked at his apprentice, perplexed. "I'm going to call the doctor-"
"You know, we were joking about it months ago, but do you think maybe I really am?"
"Sick? It seems the illness didn't pass--"
"Not that." Luke huffed. "I mean... do you think that out of the millions of men in the world, I'm the one that out of the bunch who gets pregnant?"
Layton chuckled. "Nonsense. Even if it were so, how would the baby pass--" He stopped and furiously shook his head, but the horrid thought didn't leave him. Men didn't get pregnant. Maybe Luke was drinking too much tea.
"But Professor, shouldn't your belly be the same? You drink more tea than two of me put together."
"I'm built differently," Hershel replied lamely.
His mentor didn't believe Luke's theory, but he was there for him. He warmed the Laytonmobile up for Luke before they went out, he massaged Luke's feet every night, and, when he saw Luke was having trouble, he helped him out of his seat.
(A/N: but while the professor rubbed Luke's feet, St Mysterys Crime rate tripled in a week....)
X
"You're at the station now? Waiting for us?" Layton said, becoming more and more flustered.
"Who is?"
"Right... ah, you're not troubling us at all. It's just so sudden. We'll be there in an hour."
"Professor who was i--"
Luke jumped, the professor spun around with a gloomy, exasperated frown plastered on his face. "Flora came without telling us."
"Oh." Luke said, looking down at himself-- at least as much of himself as he could see. If Luke's feet happened to disapear anytime soon he wouldn't know it. He couldn't see them.
"We'll tell her you gained weight Is all." Layton calmed himself as he dressed.
"Well, it's not like it would be a lie." Luke shrugged. "Unless... you're starting to support my theor--"
"Luke. Male pregnancy: it's preposterous. We've discussed this."
"All right.." Luke sighed, his eyes twinkling, bemused.
"Let me warm the car up, and don't forget your coat."
"I won't." Luke smiled, watching him go out the door. There was a shake in the normally confident man's steps. No matter how much the professor denied it, Luke was sure he accepted the hypothesis to a certain degree.
X
"I'm sorry I came unexpectedly," Flora said over tea.
"It's no trouble."
Luke stared at Layton. When he was young, he thought the professor was geniune with everyone, but after he'd began dating him, he saw the other side. There were days when the professor wanted to give into his annoyance, if gentlemanliness hadn't been drilled into him. It had broken Luke's image of him a little, but it did make him feel more at ease to know that even his mentor wasn't perfect.
"You see, I came to surprise you with something. I'm... well... I'm three months pregnant."
Layton set his cup down and stood up to hug her. "That's wonderful, my dear!"
"Ah, pardon me," she said suddenly, a sick expression crossing her face. She left the table. On her way to the bathroom, Luke called out, "You'll stop in a few weeks."
"Really?"
"Ye--" A hand was slapped over Luke's sentence.
Flora didn't seem to notice anything, or rather she was too polite to mention Luke's weight, or ask how he knew about the stages of pregnancy.
"May I ask how long you will be staying with us?" Luke caught Layton glance nervously at his protruding belly.
"What is more convienient for you?" Flora politely inquired.
"Take as long as you want, though I think it would be best if you were with your husband. Luke and I will have a lot on our hands soon and I don't like the thought of a pregnant woman alone in the house." It wasn't a white lie. School would start soon and it was one of the busiest times of the year for the professor especially.
"Thanks for your concern. A month wouldn't hurt, would it?"
"Oh no." The professor eyed Luke again as if he would pop any second. His jaw dropped when he idid/i. There was a trail of clear liquid drizzling from the chair to the floorboards. No, Layton told himself, it couldn't be emthat/em. He was laughing inside ferociously, like a madman.
iThis wasn't happening. This isn't happening. It's just a outlandish theory. It's just a dream--/i
"Um, I don't know how to say this..." Flora was helping Luke up while Layton stared, still struggling with the upcoming reality.
"...Luke's water... it broke?"
"This is just a dream," Layton shrugged-- or tried to.
"Uh, no, it feels real to me. This isn't like you, Profesor. Please help me carry him to a bed."
Willingly, he helped Luke to his bed. Grudgingly he accepted what was finally happening. He tried to shoo Flora away, asking her to phone an ambulance, but she resisted.
"Wouldn't that make a spectacle of Luke? This thing doesn't inormally/i happen."
"Yes, well, it could be serious."
"You call the doctor then," Flora challenged.
Neither took the job of phoning for a doctor. Flora held Luke's hand while Layton waited on the edge of the bed.
"Flora, why are you not disturbed by this?"
"Professor, I've iknown/i about you and Luke for awhile now."
"We-- we're not obvious, are we?"
"I don't think so. I think because I've lived with you, I knew you both well enough to see a shift in your relationship."
"And what are your thoughts on this..." He gestured with a nod towards Luke, who was howling and cursing.
"Is it really strange? I thought maybe this was something that happened to queer persons." Flora blinked her doe-like eyes.
"EXCUSE ME, BUT THIS REALLY FUCKING HURTS."
"Breathe, Luke, Breat-- I see the head. It's... rather odd though... Push! Breathe!"
"I'm doing the best I can! By the way, I hate you for this, Professor!"
Twelve sleepless hours later, Layton scooped up the newborn and blinked. This had to be a dream. Dazedly. he handed it to Luke.
"Sweet! It's a brand new Laytonmobile!" Luke caressed the red sheen of its hood, and with a flick of his index finger, made its wheels roll. The miniature vehicle (it would be full-grown in a few years, hopefully before the current Laytonmobile died) purred contentedly.
(A/N: With a grunt and a push and a bit of a swear.. Luke managed to push... A small car out of there- WAIT!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!)
The professor fainted. Flora found that now was the time to call a doctor.
X
Authors Note -
And it's with a great smile that I call to an end...
This brain melting horror that drove us all round the bend...
From child sex, to natures call...
Yes, this fan fiction has just got it all!...
And for all of you who were brave enough to give this a go...
Show this to someone else, watch to see if their brains blow...
Thank you for being strong enough to read this far...
Now wonder, from where on earth did Luke give birth to that car?....
Now clasp your hands, get down on your knees...
And say, "Don't put up the rest! I beg of you, PLEASE!" ...
But will I do it? Only time will tell!....
Stick around, vote, find out if Layton births a car as well!....
~ pheonix2012 ~