Contains themes of self harm, suicide, suicidal thoughts, drug use.
I sat on the side of my bath looking at my arms, I hate my arms. They're covered in many different types of scars. What will Morgan think that sentence ran through my mind all day and all night. I grabbed a jacket and my packet of cigarettes and walked up to the roof of my apartment complex. I sat down on one of the benches up there and smoked. It was a deadly relief but it wasn't cutting the need for many of my addictions. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled my phone out and saw that it was the group chat.
PG: Guys I have a verrrry special announcement
Sr: are you drunk.
JJ: yes Spence she is and the worse part is we are all here except you. Come join us..
PG: I LOVEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUU ALLLLLLLLL
SR: No I'm going to go to bed, and I love you too Penelope
I put my phone on silence and walked back to my apartment. When I got into my apartment I got showered then brushed my teeth. I looked in the mirror and saw what I mess I am how does he love me.
I needed something stronger than small cigarette burns I need to feel something. It's like I have become immune to pain. I threw my self onto my bed and cried. I just couldn't sleep I checked my phone it was midnight. I knew the team would most likely still be out partying so I thought why not join them. I pull out my phone
Sr: are you guys still out?
DM: I'm not they all bored me I left early
EP: Somethings wring with morgannnnn
JJ: he probably has a dateeee with a gurrllll
SR: I suggest you drink a lot of water till you get home and go to bed now.
DM: I agree with the kid
AH: go home
EP: party poopers
I placed my phone back in my pocket. Is it bad that I want to end it all? I know it will break Morgan but I'm tired, tired of not sleeping, tired of nightmares, tired of addictions, tired of life in general.
I knew it had to be done why should I live in constant pain when I could not even live at all. No one would suspect it no one knew my addictions or my manic depressant episodes they knew me as Reid I go to work and spurt out random facts. Deep down I know that I am worth something but the last time I felt that was before tobias. I cried as I walked over to my desk and wrote my suicide note. I went onto the group chat
Sr: I'm sorry.
I then went offline. I walked over to my wardrobe deciding what the nicest thing I own is. I placed on a black suit with my converse before heading into the bathroom. I opened the cupboard. I looked at my bottle of antidepressants I was prescribed but don't take or my razor blade. I looked at my suit and then chose the pills. I walked to the kitchen grabbed a glass of water before sitting on my bed. I swallowed all 50 of my antidepressants before opening my bedside drawer and grabbing my last 2 sleeping pills. My eyes soon became heavy and I fell asleep for eternity.
Will spencer suicide be successful or will it not and how will the team react.
-Brooke x x