I stared at the dropper with racing anxiety. He said just one drop in each eye that's all I had to do, but why was I freaking out? I held the dropper above my right eye with a trembling hand, looking down the tube like staring down the barrel of a gun.
"I can't do it!" I moaned in exasperation. All I could think about was what could go wrong, like if it blinded me. Had I always been this worrisome? I wished I knew.
I took several deep breaths, trying to ease my nerves. I knew they were all waiting for me and that only created more pressure. A knock at my door only confirmed it.
"Come in," I grumbled. To my surprise, Xan entered.
I remained silent. I didn't know how to react around him now.
"Are you having some trouble?" He asked.
I simply nodded, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Why couldn't I just do this simple task?
"Perhaps I can help?" He offered.
I hesitated. Did I even want his help?
"N-no. I can do it," I asserted.
He nodded, taking a seat on my bed. "Then I will remain here," he replied with a slight smirk. "For moral support."
I rolled my eyes. Now I had to do it. I couldn't let his smug face see me fail. The drive fueled me and again I held the dropper above my eye and tried to force myself to use it. I squeezed the dropper but panicked at the last second, missing my eye completely.
I could hear Xan trying to stifle his laughter and I glared at him.
"Its not funny," I sneered. "I hate touching my eyes or having anything touch my eyes! It's so gross."
Xan lacked sympathy and only laughed harder. The wide smile still painted his face while he stood and drew close to me. A gentle blue haze engulfed him as his hand caressed my cheek gently.
"No," I whimpered, feeling the calm wash over my racing nerves. His thumb stroked my cheek ever so gently, sending both a tranquility and chill through me.
"Let me help you," he soothed, taking the dropper in his other hand and holding it above my eye. His touch left me tranced, feeling nothing more than a delighted daze.
I watched as the drop fell delicately into my eye and only serenity remained within. The cool drop spread over my eye as Xan swiftly dropped another in the remaining one.
"Perfect," he murmured, watching the droplets form into lenses.
He looked into my eyes and I saw his change. The amusement they held now shifted to a more serious tone.
"Aeris," he breathed. "What you heard before...I didn't mean it."
I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to express my anger but the weight of his soothing overpowered it. I struggled to reach up and press his hand away from me, feeling the calm dissipate with its removal.
"Then why did you say it?" I pressed, feeling the surge of anger again.
He looked down at the ground, as if searching for the words before returning his gaze to mine.
"Torians aren't suppose to...feel things. It's not that we aren't capable it's just that there is a weakness in letting your emotions take over you or lead any part of you life. We are suppose to refrain and depend on logical, clear thinking."
I crossed my arms and pressed my lips together in disgust. I hated that. How could an entire realm of beings have such a demented view of mental health?
"It's not merely to demonstrate superiority over other beings," he added, seeing my dislike. "It's for safety. Our emotions are affected by electrical pulses in our bodies and when emotions overflow... so can our abilities."
I gave him a questioning look, not understanding what "overflow" could mean.
"We are too strong to let our abilities get out of control..."
"So if you were really angry..." I started.
"Some being could really get hurt," he finished before looking at me with worrisome eyes. "I never want to hurt you."
I paused, wondering if that was just negative emotions. What would positive emotions produce?
"What did Trish mean when she said that you've been "enhanced"?"
"Because I work for the GIU I'm stronger than a regular Torian. My body has been augmented."
I cocked my head and looked him over. "But you don't look very different."
He smiled a little. "Internally my electrical system has been enhanced to be stronger. Most Torians can only manipulate other beings' emotional states or smaller electrical currents around them, but I can take full control. All government level Torians have been changed in this manner."
"Why do government Torians need to be so strong?" I asked, finding myself uneasy with the amount of control this empire had.
"To maintain order," he said simply. "It's necessary to be stronger to maintain the galactic balance. The Torian empire ensures there are no warring nations by intervening before escalation."
My mind drew back to Trish and what the Torian empire had done to her. Was that all really in the name of galactic peace? Could this empire really be trusted with so much power?
I simply nodded. I didn't want to voice my wavering trust of his government. There was still much more for me to learn before I drew a conclusion.
"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked finally. "What does any of this have to do with me being an inferior human."
"That's not what I said!" He huffed.
"I read between the lines," I retorted, crossing my arms and scowling at him.
His eyes held a tint of black, looking off to the side before returning to me.
"It's not you who is weak, Aeris. It's me," he said finally.
I pursed my lips questioningly, waiting for him to explain.
"I'm suppose to be in control, never letting my emotions have any power. But ever since I found you... I'm not able to fully keep my composure." He paused, as if analyzing this himself. "I've never had this issue before and when Neron questioned me..."
"You didn't want anyone to know?" I asked, trying to understand.
"I can't have anyone know that you have this effect on me." He said bluntly. "It puts you in danger."
He looked down for a moment, again searching for words. "Regardless of what you hear me say to anyone" he began before looking back into my eyes, "Know that keeping you safe is my only priority right now."
I felt my heart racing from his words. "More than your mission?"
He nodded slowly and I heard the gentle hum of white noise.
"You can trust me, Aeris," he said but I could barely hear it as the noise grew louder.
His eyes looked at me questioningly and his lips moved but I couldn't hear him.
"You are my only priority," I heard, but this voice was different. It wasn't Xan!
I blinked hard and found myself in a lab. I looked around but I could only scan the view of several computer screens and bubbling beakers over some Bunson burners.
"What are we doing here," I asked as if I knew but didn't know at the same time. The words flowed out of me with no thought or effort.
I felt arms wrap around my waist, but I couldn't turn to see the owner.
"What?"the deep voice cooed playfully. "Are you worried we have to work tonight?" I felt his warm lips kiss my neck.
"Don't worry, dear," he said, drawing close enough that I felt his breath as he whispered in my ear.
"You are my only priority."