Just... don't ask.
(Yes, these are all 100% real lmao)
(I just wanted to immortalize these so I never forget. I love my English teacher, she's wonderful😂)
"All I know how to do is drink coffee and look fabulous."
"My perfect world is a world where everything is made of chocolate. Except the river. The river is made of whiskey, and I'm drinking from the river."
"The day that lying bitch got caught for plagiarism in college was the best day of my life. Better than the day my son was born."
"Are we doing friendship time?! FORBIDDEN!"
"Lambs are all cute and down to cuddle and like 'baaaa baaaa baaaa' so obviously we decided we're supposed to STAB THEM-"
*makes a student coffee in the middle of class bc she said she was tired*
"OFFICE DEPOT MARKERS SUCK!" *throws Marker across the room*
"I love you, god bless you, but I swear I will m u r d e r you if you come near my bobble head."
"You can write it on anything as long as it's not something that can be held against you in a court of law. So now's not the time to tell my about your meth business. *whispering* We can talk about that later, I won't tell."
*at the TA (sarcastically) "I will literally MURDER YOU!" *at the class* that's off the record, kids."
"In-N-Out is good, but I prefer to feed off the pain in my student's eyes."
"I mask my bitterness and pain with laughterhAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH-"
"The only reason I always look this good is because I've learned how to hide my distress with foundation and contour."
"Now, let's talk Shakespearean sex jokes."
"WHO HERE WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAIN WHAT CASTRATION IS?!?"
"You're my new favorite. To my old favorite (I was the old fave), you're still my favorite but just with terms and conditions."
*talking about Greek Gods* "Incest is best, put your brother to the test!"
"INCEST!!!!"
"Back when I was basically a little boy and had no boobs..."
"I shaved off my hair for cancer awareness. I bleached my hair because I want to feel like a YouTuber."
That's all that I can remember lol
Have a good day/night! (Sorry I haven't uploaded. I'm swamped and I can't write bc of writer's block, but I'm good, and I hope you are too!!)
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October 30, 2019