2 days until the attack
Lydia White
My alarm went off at 6. I lifted myself off of Harry's warm sleeping body and quietly trudged into my own room.
I fell asleep for another 2 hours until I heard a knocking at my door. I groaned into the pillow because I was extremely tired.
"What?" I say with my face buried into my pillow.
The door opens.
"Good morning to you, too." Harry's voice says.
I look up from the pillow and turn on my side. He stood in the doorway with his grey sweat pants and a black t shirt. He walks in and holds out his hand for me to grab.
"Your parents are waiting for us downstairs." he states, pulling me up by my wrist.
I was in a miserable mood...simply because I was stressed about what happened last night.
I was so scared.
"C'mon sleepy." he says softly, guiding me to stand up.
We go to the bathroom and brush our teeth, then go back and get dressed and pack our bags.
"Are we gonna talk about last night?" I ask, pulling one of Harry's sweaters that I brought over my head.
"We'll get a pill on the way back. If you take it as soon as we get home then you should be fine." he says while shoving his pyjamas into his bag.
Looking down, I nod.
"You're okay with that right?" he asks.
"Yeah. I'm fine." I nod again.
We could not have a baby. Not right now, maybe not ever.
It wouldn't make sense. I only had two guaranteed days left with him.
I get an actual physical ache in my chest when I think about that...so I'm trying not to.
I know that I should give in to reality at some point, but I don't want to. I just want to pretend like everything is fine and then when the time comes to breakdown and cry...then that's when I'll worry about it.
We say goodbye to my parents and leave.
The drive to the drugstore was about 20 minutes. It was cold and grey outside today. The sun was hidden behind the clouds and fog covered the roads.
It was a depressing day.
When we pull into the parking lot of the drugstore, Harry turns off the car and shifts his gaze over to me.
"I'd go in by myself but I don't want you to stay out here alone." he says.
I understood. Even though it was kinda busy, anything could happen.
"Yeah it's okay. I'll come with you." I say.
He pulls his lips into a half smile and unbuckles his seatbelt. "Well let's go." he says.
Hand in hand, we walk into the store and down the aisles. People were here doing their own shopping as they were scattered all over the aisles.
For once, I wasn't worried about being out in public. This isn't a big store and if by some chance the Phantoms were here, they wouldn't be able to try anything without being caught.
We walk into the pharmacy aisle and Harry retrieves the light purple coloured box. He holds it in his large hand and looks at the label.
"Emergency contraceptive." he mumbles. "Perfect."
I felt like everyone was staring at us and judging us for buying this, even though deep down I knew no one actually cared.
"Let's get outta here." I say, gripping his hand.
He walks us to the cashier. I avoid eye contact with the uniformed old man as he scanned the box because this was awkward enough.
Harry retrieves the now bagged item from the man and takes my hand in his again. We walk out to the car and I take a deep breath.
"He was definitely judging us." I bite my lip.
Harry starts the car and reverses out. "Probably, but who cares." he shrugs.
I open the white plastic bag up and grab the box. I examine it in my hand. There was one single pill in this box.
I didn't feel pregnant, but it hasn't even been a day so that was obvious. I wanted to get home quickly however to take this pill as soon as possible.
I shake my head. "I can't believe we forgot a condom."
"It was just in the heat of the moment." Harry says.
"It was stupid."
"I know."
"Do you want kids?" I blurt without thinking.
I slap my hand over my mouth and widen my eyes at my own words.
Harry's eyes widen as well, and he keeps his gaze in front of him. "Uhm." he chokes on his words. "No."
Oh.
"Like...ever?" I add on and silently curse myself for not being able to keep my mouth shut.
"Like ever." he repeats my question, but in the form of an answer.
Oh.
"Oh." I say.
"Mhm." he presses his lips together and awkwardly taps his fingers on the steering wheel as he drives.
I don't know why him not wanting kids bothered me.
But it did.
A lot.
I've always seen myself having kids. Not now, obviously, but in the future.
I wanted a girl.
"You okay?" Harry speaks from next to me.
"Yeah." I try and say casually.
"Okay."
I press my head against the window and watch trees whiz by us as we drive.
I'm trying really hard not to breakdown. Life was getting to be way too much for me.
But I wanted to be strong. I had too. And I will for him.
He can't have me being upset. That's one more thing he has to worry about, and he has so much already.
I don't want him to go through with this attack. It's not going to be like the diner, or like capturing James.
It's going to be a massacre. A bloodbath.
They're not stopping until every Phantom is dead.
Harry's the leader. They'll want him the most.
I've been terrified for the past 3 days. Every waking moment I think about losing him. I'm trying so fucking hard to just hold on to spending all my time with him now.
But it's hard when all I can think about is that I might not ever be able to do these things with him again.
I turn my head over to him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were set, locked on the road in front of him. He looked far from relaxed, or content.
I reach for his hand that was resting in his lap, and take it in mine. He intertwines his fingers with mine, glancing at me for a second before returning his vision back to the highway.
He was lost in his own thoughts. I'd give anything to know what he was thinking.
"Unclench your jaw." I say softly.
His eyes flick over to me while keeping his head straight. He sighs, but complies and relaxes his jaw.
He clenched his jaw when he was stressed.
"Sorry." he mumbles.
When we finally get back to the apartment, I immediately rip open the contraceptive box.
I go up to the bathroom, with Harry right behind me carrying a glass of water.
I look at the small pill in my hand and take a deep breath.
"Just relax. After you take this everything will be fine." Harry says.
'Everything will be fine'. I don't know about that.
I sigh and pop the pill in my mouth. I grab the water from Harry and take a decent sized sip, swallowing the pill with the water.
"There. Easy." Harry says with open arms.
I trudge into his chest and he lovingly wraps his arms around my body.
I look at our embracing bodies in the mirror. He did too. I looked so small when he hugged me this way. His chin rested on the top of my head as he gave me the smallest little smile through the mirror.
"M'proud of you." he says.
I furrow my brows. "For taking a pill?"
"Not just the pill." he shakes his head. "Just for being so strong." he hugs me tighter.
I let my head drop against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, beating at a slightly faster pace than it normally would.
I love him so much.
"I know this is hard for you. I wish I could do something to change it. But just know, I'm doing this all for you." he says, still looking at me with his green eyes through the mirror.
"I know." I squeak with my voice just above a whisper.
"I love you." he says.
I feel my eyes start to gloss over. I blink rapidly and try to force a small smile as I look back at him in the mirror.
"Forever." I whisper, making the corner of his lips lift slightly.
I don't know how one person can make me feel so happy yet so sad at the same time.
He pulls away from the hug and rests his hand on my lower back, walking me out of the bathroom and down the stairs.
"Let's go make lunch." he says. I follow him to the kitchen. He starts pondering the cupboards and the fridge, looking for something to eat.
I go around the island to sit down on one of the stools. I prop my elbows on the familiar, cold marble and rest my chin in my palms.
I watch Harry as he grabs random items of food.
I was getting so used to this place. I knew what every cushion of the couch looked like, I knew where everything in the kitchen could be found, I knew that there was a certain creaky floorboard upstairs that drives Harry insane.
I haven't been here very long, but it felt like home...because Harry was here.
Wherever he was is where I belonged.
"Harry." I say softly, making him turn around with two slices of bread in his hand.
"Yeah baby?"
"Where am I gonna be during this attack? Am I staying here?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "Absolutely not. They'll find you if you're here. You'll probably stay at Eliza's or your parents." he states.
"I don't want my parents to be brought into this." I state. I don't want to have to explain to my mom and dad why I'm an emotional mess and that my boyfriend is currently risking his life to take down his rival gang.
"Eliza's it is, then." he says, buttering the bread in his hand.
I can't help but wonder how she's doing with all of this.
She probably doesn't even know what's going to happen.
She could be enduring a pregnancy alone in two days.
"What happens if something happens to Liam? El's gonna be a mess." I run my hands through my hair.
"Liam's not going."
I sit up and knit my brows together. "He's not?"
"I'm not letting him. He needs to be with Eliza."
A part of me wants to ridicule him and say that if Liam can get out of it, then he can too. But I know that's not true. I knew that he was the leader and he needed to be there.
Another part of me wants to thank him for being so compassionate towards my best friend and her situation. Him and El don't have an amazing relationship so for him to do something like this really means a lot.
"Have you talked to him yet?" I ask.
"We have a meeting tonight. Just the guys and I. I'll tell him then." he responds.
He puts together a sandwich for each of us and slides mine over to me on a plate.
"Thank you." I say.
He takes a bite out of his own sandwich and looks down at the ground as he chews. He was deep in thought, I could tell. He looked really cute when he was thinking hard...even if the thoughts weren't good ones.
I grab my plate and walk over to the opposite side of the counter where he was. He looks down at me as I stand next to him.
A small smile pulls onto his face. I gaze into his eyes, which were looking me up and down.
"What?" I tilt my head.
He smirks and grabs me by hips and lifting me. I let out a small yelp as he lifts me onto the counter with no effort at all.
He holds my thighs with his hands and I wrap my legs around his torso, with my hands resting lightly on his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" I giggle.
"Just looking at you." the corner of his lip lifts. His green eyes travel around my face and stop at my lips.
When his eyes flick back to mine, he breaks into a closed-mouth smile that makes my stomach do flips.
His dimple becomes prominent and his eyes brighten.
"Kiss me." he says softly.
I bite my lip to try and stop a smile from exploding on to my face. A small chuckle leaves my body as I gently bring my hand to his cheek and connect my lips to his.
His perfectly soft and plump lips lovingly pressed against mine. His hands moved from my thighs to my lower back to pull me in closer.
His one hand rubbed my back very gently.
This kiss was out of pure love.
When we disconnected, I pulled away and fluttered my eyes open and looked at Harry.
His eyes were still softly closed. He took a deep inhale and rolled his lips inside his mouth.
When he opened his eyes, they landed on mine.
He gave me a look that said 'I love you'. He didn't have to say anything for me to know. It was all in his eyes.
I softly stroked his cheekbone with my thumb. His hand suddenly reached up to grab mine.
He brought my hand that he was holding down in front of him, and just looked. He examined my fingers and rubbed circles around my knuckles with his thumb, in an almost comforting manner.
All I wanted was to know what was happening in that curly haired head of his.
"I finished your book." he mumbles, looking down.
"Charlotte's Web?" I sit up straighter.
I forgot I lent that to him.
"Mhm. I would read it at night when you'd fall asleep." he says, intertwining our fingers together.
"How was it?" I tilt my head.
He smirks and shrugs. "As good as a book about a pig and a spider can get."
I can't help but smile at his remark. Because, I knew he enjoyed it...but he's stubborn and prideful so he wouldn't tell me.
"It's no Gatsby though, right?" I tease.
"Nothing will ever be Gatsby except Gatsby itself." he says firmly, but still wearing a smile.
I remember when he wanted me to read that book.
I also remember when he tried to tell me how he felt about me for the first time. He alluded to how Jay felt about Daisy.
I miss those days.
Harry Styles
I had to meet with the guys at Louis' apartment. This would be the last meeting before the attack, between the elite members.
I kissed Lydia goodnight and told her I'd be back in under an hour. We spent a pretty quiet day together, just taking in each other's company for the little amount of time we had left.
Even though neither of us wanted to admit it, we both felt like we were doomed.
But, for the next day and a bit, I want her to be happy. I'm going to make sure she is.
I walk straight into Louis' place, where the guys were all sat in his living room on the couches.
"Hey Styles." Louis acknowledges.
I nod and sit down next to him on one of the couches. Niall sat on the loveseat, while Liam sat on the sofa chair in front of us.
"Two more nights." Niall states, looking between the three of us.
"Everything's ready?" Louis asks.
I nod.
"I can't wait to kick some Phantom ass. I hate every single one of those mother fuckers." Louis says.
"Me too." Liam nods in agreement.
"Liam, you're not going." I state abruptly, making Liam snap his attention toward me.
"What?"
"You have a pregnant girlfriend to take care of. You're not going." I repeat.
"Fuck off, Harry. I'm apart of this gang too." he furrows his brows angrily.
"I don't give a fuck."
"This is bullshit!" he shouts.
"Guys!" Niall interrupts, "Give it a rest."
"Harry. I need to be there."
"No." I stand. "You need to be with Eliza. You fucked up and got her pregnant because you couldn't keep it in your pants. She's Lydia's best friend and you need to take responsibility." I point at him.
"You're acting like this attack is gonna kill us and I won't see her again after." he throws his hands up in frustration.
"And you're acting like we're all gonna make it out alive." I exclaim.
"I told you we're not dying."
"You don't get to decide that."
"Can we stop talking about dying?" Niall chimes in.
"Let them argue it out, Ni." Louis adds.
I roll my eyes and turn my focus back to Liam.
"I also need you to make sure Lydia's okay. If something happens to me then you need to make sure she's taken care of." I say, feeling a slight sting in my chest.
Suddenly, his face falls. He sits back in the chair and bites his lip. I'm assuming he knew how I felt about Lydia and somewhere deep inside his dark twisted mind he felt a little bit of compassion.
"Okay." he complies.
I press my lips together and nod as a way of thanking him for giving in.
"So everything's settled then?" Louis looks around.
This all suddenly felt really real.
That's not to say it didn't feel real before, but now it just felt like reality really came crashing down.
These next 24 hours were going to be insanely painful.
//
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