Sorry for the lack of updates. I don't want you guys to give up on me, thanks for still reading. Something like this shouldn't happen again. But, I am a student so I'll try to warn you guys if school gets hectic. Thank you for understanding. ❤️
Chapter length: ~3.7k 🙈 words
#
"Well, well, well. I shouldn't be surprised, now should I?" I said casually as I situated myself in the seat across from Ricky. Gross, it was warm.
Ricky blinked as though he didn't recognize me. But, then he inhaled sharply as he looked between me and the man beside him.
"Uh-" he began, but I only cut him off.
"You know," I interrupted. "I thought you liked him. Or, at least all that possessive energy you were throwing my way when we first met was conveying that. And you claim to like Miguel but you're out here with some guy, acting all flirty." I couldn't help how smug I sounded. He had fucked up and I was glad I was there to witness it. Wait 'till I told Mike all about this. Maybe he'd realize how annoying Ricky was and that he wasn't the guy he should be wasting any time with. It wasn't like I didn't think Mike should be in a relationship but it just didn't seem like Ricky deserved him. That begged the question of exactly what kind of partner Mike deserved, and my mind couldn't come up with an answer right at that second, but it just violently protested the thought of Ricky being close to anything that Mike should be around.
"And why on earth do you think I'm cheating on Miguel, Derrick?" Ricky's eyes narrowed as he frustratedly bit out the words. He was a naturally pretty guy, and to see his face contorted in anger reminded me of a kitten trying to act menacing.
The guy beside Ricky blanched. "Woah, this is not a date." He was kind of scruffy, but in a way that seemed somewhat manufactured. He had dark eyes and dark hair and naturally seemed to be brooding, what with some of his dark hair falling over his face.
My eyes narrowed. "Well, of course the mistress would say that."
"Mistress?" The guy jerked his head in surprise. He let out an annoyed click. "I'm just meeting Ricky and-"
"Mike is a wonderful person," I held up my hand to finish speaking and addressed Ricky. "I can't believe you would do this to him!"
Ricky ground out the words, "I cannot believe you are this stupid. You won't even listen!"
"Excuse me?" I said, glaring at him. "You were fondling strands of his hair?"
"That's not even the correct way to use the word fondling. And can you, like, I don't know, leave?"
I whipped out my phone, getting ready to text. "After I tell Mike about this, I'll be on my merry way."
But before I could even dial the number, I was interrupted.
"Derrick?" Two voices said in unison and I looked up to see Ira, and Mike.
Seeing them together was something of a shock to my system. Ira was a little shorter than Mike, and slender where Mike was more built. They were both dressed casually and they both looked good. But, looking between them all I could see were the differences. I could appreciate Ira's pale skin over the angular plains of his face, and the way he moved like music. How he moved to his own natural and smooth rhythm, the way his dark eyes always seemed to dance and the quickness of his smile. But, if Ira moved like music then Mike was like a thundercloud. Something that couldn't be contained and that you couldn't help but notice. Just like a vein of lightening would startle you, Mike had those moments, too. Sometimes it was the softness of his eyes or his smile or even his laugh. And for some reason I couldn't stop staring at Mike.
"Why are you here?" I squeaked out. Mike's hair was still short and brownish blond matching the beard he was growing. Something about him still reminded me of a golden retriever.
Mike laughed, and it was weird the way half his mouth was swallowed up by beard. "Maybe I should ask you the same thing. And this is your date?" He looked to Ira before fixing his grey gaze back on me.
"Yeah, we thought bowling would be fun." Ira's voice was surprisingly cool. "And you are?"
Mike put his tray down and Ira followed suit. They shook hands and the entire mood around the table shifted. Things became...tense.
"I'm Ira, Derrick's date."
"Mike," he paused, looking at me and then away. "Derrick's friend from high school." Ah so that was who I was now...
"I bet Derrick was adorable in high school." Ira's voice was back to its casual lilt and yet his smile somehow seemed sharp. "All those curls and all that anger."
They stopped shaking hands but Mike's expression only softened further. "He definitely was adorable."
Ricky cleared his throat and the attention was directed back to him. He gave me a dark glare. "Sorry to interrupt the happy reunion... but your friend from high school here thought I was cheating on you with my client."
"He what?" Mike gave me a disapproving glance. "Derrick..."
Shit. Fucking damn. I had been wrong. Maybe I had just seen things with Ricky and the guy that I wanted to see. My throat suddenly felt tight and I coughed, trying to find air. Fuck. "You know, that was just a misunderstanding. It just looked like— and I thought— So, yeah."
I began to get up and then stopped, suddenly feeling disoriented. My face was on fire and I was stupid, in fact more than stupid. Why had I even gone over to the table? Looking down at my hands I saw my tattoos pushing up from my arms into my hands, and I could feel everyone staring at them. I pushed my hands beneath the table and onto my lap, clenching the fabric of my jeans instead. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I looked up. "So yeah. Uhh, sorry."
Ricky scowled. "Do you so frequently leap to conclusions?"
"No." I whispered, so incredibly humiliated.
"Yes, he does." Mike spoke over me, his voice somehow carrying so much more than mine.
Ouch. I gave Mike a hurt look but instead of the sympathy I was used to receiving from him, I only saw irritation. I got to my feet, and picked up the tray Ira had put down what felt like eons ago.
"We'll just go back to our table." Ira said quietly and we walked over some feet away. We were out of earshot but both of us had enough common sense to know we had to be the topic of conversation.
Ira set our food down, and started munching on his fries. His dry sense humour was closer to mine and I fully expected him to make a joke, but instead his voice was soft.
"What was that about?"
I swallowed, dipping my fries in ketchup and taking my time to chew. "I don't know why I did that."
"Me neither. Accusing someone of cheating is kind of serious, don't you think?" His voice was quiet but bled judgment, and I was beginning to realize how crazy I must look.
"Yeah..." I trailed off. "I just, I don't know. The way they were acting...It seemed intimate." I felt about as stupid as I sounded.
"But," Ira sighed. "Is their relationship really any of your business?"
It wasn't. Not even a little bit. But, the idea of Mike being betrayed like that had infuriated me so suddenly I hadn't even been able to think clearly. I wanted Mike to have the best of everything. Better than the best, even. But, I didn't really know how to verbalize that.
"I guess not." I mumbled.
Ira was quiet, and when I finally looked up at him he was staring at me. His blue eyes were deep and bottomless and it was strange to see him so serious when he was usually cracking jokes. He finished his fries before peeling back the silver wrapper on his burger. Quietly, he began to eat.
The rest of dinner felt tense and awkward and surrounded by tense conversation. I felt like Ira was over me and that he was just building up the confidence to admit he couldn't deal with a crazy like me. The car ride to my apartment had my brain imagining different scenarios of Ira dumping me. Damn it, my eyes were already burning and I felt like crying by the time we reached my apartment. Ira parked the vehicle and unlocked the doors. Then, he sighed.
He looked out the window and gnawed on his lip. Nervousness made him look foreign, and when he finally spoke his voice was tight. "Do you still have feelings for him?"
I swallowed and looked out the window at my shabby looking exterior of an apartment. It looked like a rundown building, complete with foggy looking windows that seemed like they hadn't been washed in a while and an entryway that looked cramped and small. The building was only about six storeys and it was a rent-controlled building just off the busier streets in the city. I was lucky to live there, because even if the apartment complex didn't have such a great outside it was well maintained on the inside.
It was my home and my safe space and somewhere where I didn't have to worry about the magic I couldn't control and the feelings I couldn't control and all these things I just couldn't control.
"I don't know," I whispered, hearing my voice waver. "I can't just forget about him."
Ira's voice was as tight as a well sealed drum. "You can't try?"
Finally, I turned to face him, alarmed by the pain stricken look on his face. "Don't you think I've tried?"
I gripped my jean clad thighs and watched my tattoos flare across my arms. "Don't you think I've tried and tried and tried? Don't you think I just want to get rid of this feeling? I look at you and I want things to work out, because you are fun and funny and you make me feel good. I haven't felt good in a long time, and I like the new person I'm becoming. And he— he just reminds me of whoever he thought I was supposed to be. I like that you like who I am, today, not who I was before, not some guy I'm supposed to be." I pushed a hand through my hair. "I want this to work with you, Ira. Honestly. But, I can't lie to you either. I can't say I'm over him, yet. It's hard. But, I am trying."
Ira was looking at me with his big, dark blue eyes and not saying anything. "It is hard." He looked away to watch my tattoos instead. But, his eyes seemed distant as if they were looking at something very far away.
But, then he blinked and the distance was gone. His eyes flickered up to mine, and he licked his lips. "I know you can't carve out a place in your heart for me right now. But, I'm willing to wait at least for a little bit. Do you think...eventually maybe you could feel—? Something?"
"I do feel something," I said sincerely. And I did. That fluttery feeling in my heart that signified the beginning of something that could last. And it was with Ira, he could be a constant. He was also an artist, and he made me happy. I wanted to make him happy, too.
He smiled slowly and then all at once, his eyes finally lighting up again. His voice was soft though still a little strained. "Okay."
Ira leaned towards me and pulled our heads together for a brief yet charged kiss. His tongue pushed against my lips until I gave in to him and the kiss deepened. His hand carded through my hair and his tongue battled for dominance against mine. His mouth was warm and wet and fucking hell did he know how to kiss. Ira's kisses were just about perfect. They were long enough to make my heart speed up and short enough to make me want for more.
I breathed in after the kiss was over, more than a little breathless. "Okay."
"I'll see you next week." Ira said quietly with a hand twirling in my hair. He gave me the kind of smile that told me everything could be okay. "Tell Sol I say hi."
#
Sol purred contentedly against my lap, eyes comfortably closed as her tail swished from side to side. I brushed the fur down along her side and she purred louder. Combing out her fur didn't seem to take too long and she loved the process of being fussed over. Kind of like me, funnily enough.
"Why am I such a mess?" I said quietly, sweeping along her luxurious fur. "Not like I expect you to answer, or anything, Sol. It just be like that, I guess."
Sol sat up suddenly, ears going erect. Her eyes widened and she leapt off of me, fur standing on end as she let out a low growl. The brush I was using fell to the ground with a clatter and Sol looked to the door and then back at me.
She wriggled her body to the ground and then turned on her heels and fled to the hallway. I sighed, not understanding the randomness of this animal I called pet.
Unsurprisingly, someone knocked on the door and I walked over to it not really sure who to expect. I unlocked the door and opened it to reveal Tommy and Roe. Tommy looked somewhat sheepish and Roe was a ball of energy, vibrating in place.
"Very sorry to drop in. Roe's just been really—"
Roe tried to slip into tmy apartment but her head thwacked against the invisible magic barrier I kept up for safety's sake. Hurriedly, I swept aside the barrier, watching Roe's face crumple.
"Ow!" she whined, raising her hand to her head. "That hurted." Her eyes welled with tears and she rubbed her forehead.
"Oh, honey." Tommy said while ruffling her hair.
He pushed past me and came into my apartment, walking himself to my kitchen and setting Roe up on a stool. She started to wriggle, kicking out her legs, seemingly forgetting about her forehead.
"Hodgins," Roe began. "School was fun today and we painted some pictures. Look at what I drew." Roe rifled through her bag and slapped it on the countertop before pulling out a folder with a sheet of paper.
She pulled out a very colourful looking sunset. It was borderline amazing considering she was six. In fact, the sense of colour and the blending of shades was especially lovely.
My wonder was genuine. "Wow, Roe. This is amazing!"
She grinned. "It's pretty like you!"
I let out a surprised laugh. "I'm pretty?"
Roe giggled. "Yeah. Your hair is all floofy."
"Fluffy?" I gently corrected while pushing a stray strand behind my ear.
"No. Floofy." She said emphatically. Then, Roe turned to Tommy who was quietly watching our exchange. "Tommy, can I have some ants on a log? Hodgins, do you have ants on a log?"
"What the heck are ants on a log?"
"Hodgins, that's a swear."
"What's a swear? Ants? Log?"
"Heck." Roe whispered.
We both looked to Tommy. He sighed as though we were both six years old. "Heck isn't a swear, Roe."
She looked sceptical, but only pursed her lips. "I'm hungry."
Tommy gave me a long enough look that I caved. "Mi casa e su casa." I murmured.
PHe gave me a dry look before going into my kitchen and beginning to rummage through my fridge and cupboards. At least I'd gone grocery shopping recently. Ky had been telling me routine would help me feel under better control of my emotions and help me have better direction in my life. I did most of my cooking by magic because I was lazy but Tommy was taking things out and chopping vegetables.
Roe was gnawing on her lip and looking at Tommy and then back at me.
"I'm—I'm—" she breathed. "I'm sorry I cried before. I just got sad 'cause I suck at magic. But, you told me it be like that so I guess it's okay." Roe still seemed sad and she was fidgeting.
Tommy came to the island and lowered a plate in front of Roe. It finally clicked what ants on a log were. There were a few strips of celery lined with peanut butter and little raisins decorated on top. It didn't look particularly appetizing but Roe was already munching away.
Roe told me about her day between bites of celery while Tommy cooked some carbonara pasta. Afterwards, he made us all plates and we ate together. It was weird, considering they had essentially invited themselves over, raided my fridge, and monopolized my kitchen. After dinner, Tommy cleaned up and did the dishes and Roe started snooping around and looking for Sol.
"Here kitty, kitty, kitty. I want to touch you and pet you and love you." Roe called out.
I laughed, but it came out strained. I'd had a rough day and in all honesty I kind of wanted to be alone. Tommy seemed to sense my discomfort.
"Maybe another time, honey." Tommy said. "We have to go home now."
Roe pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay. But, you still like me Hodgins, right?"
"Of course I still like you!" I said.
We said our goodbyes and Roe gave me a hug before leaving. Tommy instructed her to go ahead and press the elevator button, giving us a moment alone.
Tommy looked down at his shoes and then up at me. "I said some things I shouldn't have. And even though I was your professor I wanted to put that part of my life behind me. I just wanted to be Darren's partner and another father figure for Roe. And it was selfish not to guide you when I could. But if I could do it all over again, I would make the same choice." He paused. "And you seem like you handled things well enough on your own anyways."
My eyes narrowed the further he went on. I started to close the door. "Whatever excuse helps you sleep at night, Tomas. Goodnight."
He opened his mouth but I only closed the door. Fuck excuses, I didn't need him to try to justify himself to me. Maybe he was good and loving and unselfish towards Roe, but that didn't change the fact he was kind of a piece of shit.
I spent the rest of my night painting. I had a rule where personal painting was for home and my commissions would be done at the tattoo parlour. It was simpler that way. It kept my home as a relaxing, safe space. And it ensured that my painting stayed cathartic.
Inspired by Roe's school painting of a sunset I did a painting of twilight in a wooded area. It looked like a quiet forest and somehow the peace in the picture helped me calm down as well. Minutes turned into an hour and I was in such a zone I barely noticed my phone ringing.
I stuck my earphones in and picked up without really looking at the caller.
"Hello?" I said, trying to get the perfect gradient of pale blue to a midnight blue. Somehow the blue turned to the colour of Ira's eyes and that worked as well. God, he had such lovely eyes. And his mouth was nice, too. Especially when he kissed me.
"Derrick, sorry to call you so late." I suddenly remembered I was on my phone when Mike's voice jolted out at me.
My throat closed up when I realized it was him. I started to put my things away because I couldn't paint and talk to Mike at the same time. He was distraction personified.
"It's okay. I just— shouldn't have acted like that today. I'm sorry for embarrassing you." My excuse just sounded so lame when I had done something so incredibly fucked up. I owed Mike and Ricky a fruit basket or something.
"About that—" Mike paused, and then struggled before starting up again. "Ricky and I both think that it would be best if there's some distance between us."
The words didn't really register for several seconds. They what?!
"Define distance."
"Well, space at the very least. He thinks you're jealous and you don't know how to mind your own business and that you still have feelings for me, which is ridiculous. You're just a little excitable sometimes. But that doesn't excuse it."
"What? I mean, I fucked up and I shouldn't have said those things but that doesn't mean—" That didn't mean he could just abandon me.
"That was his client, Derrick. You can't just say stuff like that. The Derrick I know would never just go out of his way to humiliate someone."
"The Derrick you know? What, are you the reigning authority on who I am?" I felt like my magic was going to burst out of my body and all the calm I'd tried to maintain over the evening was gone. Shattered. Disintegrated.
Mike paused before continuing in a slow voice, "I didn't call to argue."
"Yeah, you just told me to fuck off, right?"
"Derrick..."
"It's fine. Crees que soy estúpido."
"I don't think you're stupid! And—wait." Mike let out a slight gasp. "Did you just say that in Spanish?"
"Message received loud and clear. You're choosing him over me. Nice to talk with you, goodnight."
Mike let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't hang up on me, Derr—"
I hung up.
#
The problem with Derrick is that he's a pretty flawed character, he makes bad choices and he does have a tendency to leap to conclusions. Are you guys okay with these flaws or is it getting annoying?
Overall thoughts?
Favourite character?
Was Derrick justified in accusing Ricky of cheating on Mike, was it his place to interrupt even if Ricky had been behaving inappropriately?