Translated by RosySpell
"I am a beast? Then what are you? An animal?" GuYang looked over with a hard, chilling look and spitted out ruthless words that showed no mercy. "I have done despicable deeds, but how many charitable deeds have you done? I hurt my own brother but you also hurt your own father! During the time that you were wounded, who was the one that tirelessly worried about you? Have you ever thought about being thankful?"
"Don't change the topic!" GuHai abruptly interrupted GuYang's criticism "Right now, I just wanted to ask you, what happened after the car accident?"
"That car accident didn't cause you to have amnesia right? I remember when you woke up, you regained your consciousness. And everything else that happened afterward, wasn't it staged right before your eyes? What else did you want to know?"
"I just want to know what happened before I woke up."
"Before you woke up? Is there a need to ask? It was definitely to send you to the hospital and then begin rescue."
"Can you just not beat around the bushes with me?" GuHai's patience is crumbling bit by bit, "You know what I am asking about. From the time after the car accident until the time I awaken, what did you actually say to BaiLouYin? And what did he say to you? Please tell me from the beginning to the end."
"I tell you and then what?" GuYang's eyes concentrated on GuHai, "It has been eight years. Even if you know the truth now, what can you redeem?"
"I don't want to redeem anything, I just want to know! I just want to understand the full picture!!"
"Well, then let me tell you, so listen carefully." GuYang returned to the topic, "You were in a car accident during traffic jam time. BaiLouYin carried you step by step to the ambulance. When I rushed to the hospital, BaiLouYin was outside the ward. The doctor came out and announced that you are out of danger. Then, BaiLuoYin left. But before he left, he told to tell you that he's dead when you wake up."
"That's impossible!" GuHai can't accept this reality, "You definitely said something intentional too shoo him away!"
"There nothing I could do if you don't believe me. But, I admit, saying that he went abroad is indeed my idea. Seeing you living the days not resembling a human being, I fabricated this story in order to give you some hope. Later, I located BaiLouYin friends and relatives and they also agreed to cooperate. This is precisely the reason why you are unable to find any news of him from anywhere."
GuHai could never have imagined that he had been living in a deception for eight years. He had endured the torment from hell every day. In the end, it is just other people's insubstantial false statements.
"Did my dad know about this?"
"Do you think he doesn't know?" GuYang sneered, "When BaiLouYin decided to join the military, the first person he informed was him. That was why he promise not to interfere with your future development."
GuHai finally understood why in the past eight years, GuWeiTing is excessively tolerance of him, treating his absurd act of going abroad to search for BaiLouYin with disinterest while observing on the sidelines. As it turns out, he really is a man of tyranny1. He would rather watch his son struggle in this deception, yet unwilling to tell him the truth.
1 助紂為虐: help a tyrant to victimize his subjects; be accessory to a tyrant's crimes; hold the candle to the devil; help the wicked perpetuate wicked deeds
"Xiao Hai." GuYang's tone softened down, "these words might sound like a cliché, but there might have been a reason. Even without interference, with your two explosive tempers clashing, you guys also won't be able to go far. It's better to get the pain over with quickly than prolonging the agony. Rather than let you go through so many crooked roads, might as well let you give up those thoughts."
"Don't use these dignified reasons to whitewash your own crimes. It is my own business how many crooked roads I take. I bear hardships, I suffer, I recognized it. After all, it's my choice!"
"Is there someone interfering with your choices?" GuYang got up and walk toward GuHai, looking at him chillingly, "I'm just a messenger. How have I interfered with you? How have your father interfered with you? The initiator of this bad precedent is BaiLouYin. Frankly said, you asked for it! If you really understood him, if it's really just as you say that your feelings for each other meant so much, how could you not find him? How could you easily believe our words and let us manipulate your life?"
GuHai revealed a broken smile, "When I was lying in bed, designated with a secondary grade disability within a year, beside you guys, who else could I trust?"
"Then, this is your incompetence!" GuYang hits the spot, "Wake up, kid! Think about why you were so isolated and helpless? Think about why everyone conspired to deceive you? It's because in their eyes, you are not worthy of their trust, not worthy of their reliance, not worthy for them to take the risk to tell you the truth!"
"No one is born with enough ability to support themselves! Maturity requires a process. It is not artificially created!" GuHai's red eyes faced GuYang, "You make yourself sound like someone who could lead the world, so why is it that when you have mishaps, I am the only person you called? Who mapped out your life for you? When you were charged with embezzling public funds, which relative kindly reported it?"
GuYang grabbed GuHai's collar with one hand and ferociously reminded him, "My show of loving care is not easily given to people, don't trample on it!"
GuHai did not get a chance to counterattack before he was forcefully seized by several bodyguards who had just rushed in.
"Don't strike!" GuYang's response was even more intense than GuHai.
The atmosphere fell into a deadlock. For a moment, GuHai only quietly said, "GuYang, I always thought that kindness is person's basic foundation. When you are kind, you are not afraid of someone kinder than you. But, when you are malicious, then you are always worried that someone is more malicious than you. You make the best out of it!"
After GuHai left, GuYang's fist fiercely pounded on his desk, his heart overwhelmed with fury. You have the nerve to talk to me about kindness? Who have I, GuYang, not treated anyone kindly? Besides BaiLouYin, do you treat yourself with kindness? Who else did you treat with kindness?
—-
Right when BaiLouYin got back to the military base, he was severely criticized. First was the instructor who gave him some good –intentioned earnest words2. Later, don't know who spread the words to the Commander's ears, but at 9 o'clock the next night, the Commander invited BaiLouYin over to stand for three hours. BaiLouYin took the initiative to admit his mistake. He was also asked to write a five thousand words self-criticism essay to be turned in the next morning.
2 Note: 苦口婆心 admonishing words and kind feelings; advise in earnest words and with good intentions
BaiLouYin was busy until three in the morning. But even then, he had not written more than three thousand words. With his eyelids heavily drooping, his head bowed. In less than a moment, his head hit the desk. BaiLouYin got up and walked outside, hoping that the whizzing cold wind could clear his head.
The military base is in silence. A few lights flashed in front of his eyes for a while and then finally blended into the dark night.
Since he came to the military, BaiLouYin did not stay up late. But having to stay up to write a self-criticism essay, this is the first time.
Why did I have the sudden impulse to hit him?
After the fun (referring to the fight with GuHai), BaiLouYin was puzzled by his own behavior.
"First telling me that you are dead, making me live through two years of hell3,(dying better than living) then telling me that you went abroad. I went looking for you all over the world, watching my hopes getting destroyed each time..."
3 Note: 生不如死: The actual terms used were dying is better than living. Death is better than life; living hell
BaiLouYin's mind repeatedly rehash this sentence. What is dying better than living like? Since the first day that he joined the military, did that count as dying better than living? Every day, being numbed by the machines and continuous training, having no fighting spirit and no goal in life, did that count as dying better than living? The daily life with sleepless nights, did that count as dying better than living?
Compared to what he experienced all these years, everything that he had to bear should be like floating in the clouds right?
When he woke up after the accident, the first person he saw is not him (BaiLuoYin), what kind of mood is that like? When he heard of his own misfortune, what kind of mood is that like? He was in the hospital for more than six months, having to deal with the medical machines, nobody to tell when he's sad, nowhere to vent when he's suffering, what kind of mood is that like? He went all over the world inquiring about his news, but returned with disappointment time and time again, what kind of mood is that like? ......
BaiLouYin can't imagine. These past eight years, when he tried to recall, each nerve on his body will be knotted, twisted into a sharp pain, tearing at his heart.
Some things, rooted too deep, wanting to forget, isn't it easier said than done?
BaiLouYin gently sighed and continued to bend over and write. At what time, when he, who had always been good at writing, became weak at writing? He had become a man who needed to depend on his physical strength for sustenance. And the one who he had always considered to be a dim-witted idiot is actually managing a technology company!
This world is really intriguing.
—-
"BaiLouYin, 26 years old, a national first level pilot, safe flight time of 1407, has flown the F-7, J-8, J-10 aircraft, was awarded a second class once, third class once. During the working hours at the military, he participated in flight skills theory studies. In the absence of the power flight theory aspect, he acquired the original achievements. Furthermore, he had proposed new ideas on military affairs. WuCongSheng, 37 years old, a national first level pilot......"
After the instructors finished making the introduction, he looked toward the Research Institute's Director's for his opinion.
"As it stands right now, we nominate these two staff. You can take a look to see who is more suitable to take over the radio navigation project that you are now working on?"
The Director's eyebrows tighten, with a discreet look at the instructor, "Which one does your heart have more emphasis on?"
"These two each have their own qualities. For experience, of course WuCongSheng is more abundant. But from a pioneering and progressive perspective, BaiLouYin is more superior. From my personal point of view, I still lean toward Xiao Bai. Although he is young, he's stable and has quick wits. Dealing with this research would be beneficial toward his personal development."
The Director nodded, "I also give priority to this one."
The instructor grasped the Director's hand, his eyes sparkling.
"This is our base's first priority development target!"
The Director faintly smile, "Then that is him!"
End of the Chapter