Hello, Goodbye [BHNA Chatfic]

By EuniceAphroditis

411K 13.4K 11.2K

Un: you know you're a lot like an atomic compound you're simple you aren't connected to anything and you hav... More

Playlist
username guide
prologue
chapter one
chapter two
chapter three
chapter four
chapter five
chapter six
chapter seven
chapter eight
chapter nine
chapter ten
chapter eleven
chapter twelve
chapter thirteen
chapter fourteen
chapter fifteen
chapter sixteen
chapter seventeen
chapter eighteen
chapter nineteen
chapter twenty
chapter twenty-two
chapter twenty-three
chapter twenty-four
chapter twenty-five
chapter twenty-six
chapter twenty-seven
chapter twenty-eight
chapter twenty-nine
Christmas special
chapter thirty
chapter thirty-one
chapter thirty-two
chapter thirty-three
chapter thirty-four
chapter thirty-five
chapter thirty-six
Reader Input? (A/N)
chapter thrity-seven
chapter thirty-eight
chapter thirty-nine

chapter twenty-one

6.7K 275 239
By EuniceAphroditis

Huge credit to Kirkland_ who made this pic with references to chapter 18! (And for the reaction pics)

SizzleBitch has logged on 

sizzleBitch
___ 
___
BB PLEASE 

Kaminari is literally going to cry if you don't answer him 

Un has logged on 

Un 
That's what he said last time and look where it got us 

SizzleBitch
More like look where it got ME 
Because I HAD TO DEAL WITH IT 

Un
Oopsie 🤭

SizzleBitch
Don't you dare oopsie me >_>
You know exactly what you did 

Un
I have no idea what you're talking about 
I am nothing but a chill general studies student
I do the honor classes 

SizzleBitch
Mhm 
Sure
I know you just hung out with Kirishima and Bakugou the whole night

Un
Excuse you 
I said hi to Izu and Todobroki too 
Oh, and I made Solis' sheets wool

SizzleBitch
So you visit F I V E PEOPLE
And you don't walk down the hall to see me 

Un
YOU WERE DOWN THE HALL

SizzleBitch

Un
BB NO

SizzleBitch
Where did you get such a cursed image 

Un
Oh, that one? 
Joe sent it to me

SizzleBitch
Joe who? 

Un
...

SizzleBitch
Wait 
No

Un
Who is Joe? 

SizzleBitch
___ don't 

Un
That's an interesting question 

SizzleBitch
I'll friend you if you don't 

Un
Mina 
You know I can't do that 

SizzleBitch
____
PLEASE 

Un
You want to know who Joe is?
J O E 
M A M A 

SizzleBitch

Un
F

SizzleBitch
I can't believe you've done this to me 
Last Christmas I have you my heart 

Un
And I guess I gave it away 279 days later 

SizzleBitch
It took you ten minutes to respond 
And you say that 

Un
I forgot how many days are in a year leave me alone

SizzleBitch
'i take honors classes' 
Mhm sweetie 

Un
That doesn't mean I'm GOOD at them
I just like to listen to Present Mic complain about capitalism 
What's more to life than that 

SizzleBitch
What the fuck??
Since when do you talk about capitalism in English? 

Un
We read grapes of wrath 
World lit unit 
Aka: let's absolutely roast every nation 
Feat. Present Mic 

SizzleBitch
All we do is read grammar books 
And cry a little 

Un

SizzleBitch
HEY 
I keep my dumb bitch inside 
Talk to Kaminari 
SPEAKING OF 
He is going to throw a fit if you don't answer him 
And I'm not in the mood to listen to it 

Un
Isn't he on a different floor?

SizzleBitch
The wails 
E C H O

Un
Okay okay 
I'll answer kiwi 

SizzleBitch
I still don't understand why you call him that 

Un
And you don't want to know 
>_> 
And with that 
I depart 

Un has logged off 

SizzleBitch
Why did I think that was cute 

SizzleBitch has logged off 

Peaking at the time, I sucked in a breath. 11:26 pm. Not late but still a time when I'd like to think about sleep. Don't assume I would be asleep, I would only think about sleep. In actuality the number varies from three am on a Wednesday to nine pm on a Saturday. 

The point is that it's Sunday and Sunday is 'suck it up and get back to life' day. 

Not if Kaminari has anything to say about it. 

Okay, yeah, you got me there. 

I sigh, mentally preparing myself, and open the 53 notifications awaiting me from the poor child. 

Theonewithelectricity
_____
This is important 
Life or death 
My life or death 
Your brothers best friend life or death 
Imagine how sad Solis would be if I died 
Don't do that to him ___
Don't kill Solis' happiness 

Un had logged on 

Un
Wow 
I'm impressed 

Theonewithelectricity
Gsap 
Are you appreciating my persuading skills 

Un
Oh no 
You suck at persuasion I'm sorry bb 

Theonewithelectricity

Un
BUT 
And check this 
You did not once say 'im going to cry'
That's a step up for you 

Theonewithelectricity

Un
Oh shit 
NO PLS DONT CRY 

Theonewithelectricity
If I stop crying 
Will you do me a favor >:(

Un
You know what 
I will 
Just don't wake up the whole dorm again 
Izu ignored me for a while day last time ;-;

Theonewithelectricity
Okay I'll stop 
BUT
You have to answer this 

Un
Answer this what

A sudden light cut the sentence short. Kaminari's face covered the screen, a pair of reading glasses much smaller than his face shoved up the bridge of his nose. A wonderful contact picture stolen from Solis' Snapchat memories. 

Theonewithelectricity has invited you to a groupchat: The class (+ ____)

>Accept

>Decline 

"Ah shit, here we go again." I muttered before clicking 'Accept'.

Un has entered the chat 

Un
Did you guys seriously make a GC just so I could be here? 

KingExplosionMuder
Why the fuck would we do that just for you 

Un
Greeting me right off the bat! 
I'm ✨honored✨

Todoroki
If you think that's a greeting 
I wonder what Freud would say about that

Un
We all know Freud's a little bitch 
Don't even try my Todoroki 

RadioGaGa

SizzleBitch
You started it already Todoroki 
Look what you've created 
Jiro brought out her fucking Homestuck

RadioGaGa
My quality content should be appreciated

Deku 

Bitch

Un




Deku 
It's been a solid three hours since I saw you 

Un
Ha 
For me it's only been two ;) 

KingExplosionMuder
I hate this group chat more than I did before 

Un
I mean 
But you love me 

KingExplosionMuder
No

Un
Are you sure
Especially after we B O N D E D 

Deku 
Woahahaha 

Uraravity
___
I'm going to legally need you to take a step back 

Todoroki 
This is why I said change your friends. 

RadioGaGa
So I somehow left the information circle 
And now I'm confused

KingExplosionMuder
THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL IMPLYING 

Un
Exactly what it is, Bakugan 
That we've bonded. 
As does anyone after sharing cheesecake 

Deku

I literally hate you 

SizzleBitch

KingExplosionMuder
WE DIDNT EVEN SHARE IT YOU DUMBASS 
I FUCKING ORDERED IT AND YOU ATE IT 

Un
Ah 
But you forgot one detail 
I PAID for it

KingExplosionMuder
THAT MEANS NOTHING 

Tenyaiida
Actually, it's common social understanding that the person who uses the funds to purchase something is actually the one who owns the product 

KingExplosionMuder
Engine ass
Shut the HELL UP 

Todoroki 
The engines are in his calves actually 
If you're going to insult, might as well do it right 

KingExplosionMuder
SHOVE YOUR FLAT REMARKS UP YOUR ASS 

Un
Wait I think I get this one 

Theonewithelectricity
There's something to get? 

Un
Yeah yeah 
If you look at the underneath implications 
My bestest buddy over here is saying 
That Todoroki has a Flat ass 
And by inserting his constant snide remarks
H

e will become thick
And thus extremely desirable 

SizzleBitch
Why was that so wordy 

Un
I prefer loquacious ;) 

Uraravity
Big word bonus 

Deku 
Don't give them that 
They heard that on The Road to El Dorado two years ago and think they're a smart ass now 

Un
Well
I don't need to put my remarks in my ass so they have to go somewhere 

Todoroki
You're not funny 

Un
On the contrary 
I am quite hilarious 
Some may even say extremely 

Deku
Literally stop 

Un
Why am I even here if you guys are just going to make fun of me ;-; 

Theonewithelectricity
OH YEAH 
I remembered!! 

Un
..
Okay? 
Are you going to tell me? 

Theonewithelectricity
Oh yeah, I mean maybe 

RadioGaGa
Literally just say it

Theonewithelectricity
But what's the SUSPENSE in that 
The SHOWMANSHIP

RadioGaGa
If you don't, I will 

Theonewithelectricity
Okay okay fine 
____
We need you 
To judge 
OUR ROOM DECORATING CONTEST 

Un

I mean yeah sure 
Just send me pictures and I'll boom roast all of you.
Because my room is obviously the coolest so I'm the best one to judge 

Tenyaiida
It's good that we've got such an impartial judge to determine the winner 🙌✊

Un
I forgot you used the hand emojis 
And now that I've seen it in person it's even more prescious 

Tenyaiida
I appreciate the compliment! 

Un
See 
That shits cute 

Tenyaiida
I'm going to have to ask you not to swear! 

Un
Yeah, 
Saw that coming. 

KingExplosionMuder
Can you just judge their shitty room so they'll go to sleep and stop bugging me. 

Todoroki 
You could also just go to sleep anyway and stop nothing everyone with your intensely negative attitude 

KingExplosionMuder
TAKE THAT BACK BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS 

Todoroki 
That should be quite difficult according to you. 

Theonewithelectricity
Woah- 
I'm amazed

RadioGaGa
That was a level three comeback 

SizzleBitch
Using a previous statement at a time like this 

Deku 
It's…

Uraravity
CHEKHOV'S COMEBACK 

Un
I've only ever heard of it in theory 

Deku 
I can't believe Todoroki was the one to master it 

Tenyaiida 
A literary device used so masterfully! 
Our teachers would be proud 

Un
Okay 
I'm pumped after that 
Send me pictures of the rooms rn y'all 
Let's h I t I t 

I laid back on the bed, head bouncing on the pillow as the messages rolled in. Glancing at a few of them, my eyes widened. Why did they have so many decorations? I realized this might actually be kind of hard. Possible broken friendships. Wounded pride. The weight settled atop me like that one commercial about the guy who had an elephant sitting on his chest. 

I was going to need help. So I decided to call in a favor. 

Xxxxxxxxx wants to send you a message 

Xxxxxxxxx
Yo, neighbor 
Want to help me crush children's dreams 

Xxxxxxxxx
Is that even a question 

Xxxxxxxxx 
Perfectttt

Xxxxxxxxx has made a new contact for xxxxxxxxx
Name of new contact: Shinsou 

Shinsou has made a new contact for xxxxxxxxx
Name of new contact: Weirdo Nextdoor

Weirdo Nextdoor
If we're lucky 
Bakugou will blow up his door and try to kill us 

Shinsou 
Great 
Wait
What?

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