[flashback]
Two years after lost his mother, Namjoon fled to the States for studying. As he got scholarship --yeah it wasn't his father's money-- he had plan to get a job and stay there, he didn't want to comeback to Korea. He wanted to study, get a job, and continue doing musics and performances in States as RM. He didn't want to come back home and take the responsibility as the heir of KIM & Co. It wasn't his dream, ever.
He argued a lot with his father. Mr Kim even sent his assistant to States to talk to Namjoon. And in the end Namjoon agreed. He agreed to come home with one condition: he asked to study and took random major in a university in Seoul after he graduated from the university in States just to enjoy a couple years as an ordinary Namjoon before the important day come.
The moment he finished studying and got a degree in economics and bussiness major --he admitted this major had more opportunities as he works as musicians-- from the university in States, he came back to Korea. He then took an engineering major just because he wanted to spend a little more times with his friends before he take over the responsibility as the heir of Kim & Co. He went back to Korea right away after he graduated, and the only reason he agreed to take the responsibility was his mother's letter. The letter along with some gifts from his mother that he received a month before the graduation day. The letter his mother's wrote before she left him forever. A special love letter from his mother that been kept save by the KIM's notary, that Namjoon could read as graduation gifts.
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Since came back home, Namjoon always tried his best. Yet the harder he tried, the worse it got. Because the old man KIM always had a way to find fault for any mistakes he never did, and blamed him for whatever happened. And it felt like everybody around KIM just stood there watching him suffer, never offered him any kind of help. That kind of feeling. He was died inside. He always had the thoughts to ended his life.
He hated his father. He hated everything. But at least he got Hoseok cheering him up.
And that day... That day he got another reason to stay alive. The reason was this pretty guy he saw in the university library. Black haired pretty guy with kissable plump lips, that made his heart racing so fast. That made everything around were flowers.
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Namjoon saw this pretty guy for the very first time in the university library. It was his first week as an engineering student, and was always staring the pretty one from afar since that day. Later he knew, this beautiful person was Kim Seokjin, took an architecture major two years earlier counted as Namjoon's senior. Namjoon knew the name and such about Seokjin from people around, this pretty guy has fame for his brain and looks. They called him, Kim lovely Seokjin.
Namjoon was never in love before. Ever since Namjoon first laid eyes on Seokjin, he knew the pretty guy was his universe.
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Smart, rich, and good looks made Namjoon so perfect as a young man. But Namjoon was actually felt tiny and helpless around the pretty one, Seokjin. All he could do just staring from afar like a creepy stalker.
There was a day in a rainy season when he just finished his class and ready to go back to his apartment. He was about to walk into the parking lot when he saw Seokjin stood in the end of the hallway stairs.
It was raining hard that afternoon. An autumn rain and it seemed the rain won't stop pouring the earth for hours. And Seokjin looked hesitated. Namjoon just realized that the pretty one didn't bring an umbrella. Namjoon had one, but he had no courage to handed his umbrella for the pretty guy himself. Luckily, there was a food delivery service passed him by from the administration office. So he asked the food delivery service guy to handed his umbrella for the pretty guy. The moment the food delivery service guy walked approching the pretty guy, Namjoon turned his back and ran into the parking lot. Totally soaked as he reached into his car.
Another day, Namjoon saw Seokjin alone in the corner of the university library, looked pale and unwell. The pretty one sneezed and coughed in every minutes, Namjoon ended put his beannie on top of the pretty one's books when the pretty one went to the side of the librarian desk to took some warm water.
Namjoon himself admitted, that he was a coward.
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"Americano?" The waiter in the cashier asked Namjoon when the man just came into the main cafe in the university.
"And a cup of moccacino latte." Namjoon added as he gave the money.
While he waited his order, he looked around and his eyes glued on someone sat in the corner not far from where he stood. Seokjin. Focused on reading a book that Namjoon so sure was not about architecture. It was a western food recipe book. Namjoon found himself smiling at the beautiful scenery of Seokjin. Seokjin, who got his plump lips parted and mumbled something as he read. Seokjin, that his pretty face a bit looked funny like it's soul went away to another universe. Everything about Seokjin looked so perfect on Namjoon's eyes.
But hell, a sudden cracking loud voice greeted him. Ruined the fun.
"Yah Namjoon, did you orded my latte?"
"Here, your order Namjoon ah..." The waiter replied on Namjoon's behalf as he gave the americano. "And this is must be yours, Jung Hoseok."
"Oh, thanks, Donghyun hyung!" The man named Jung Hoseok smiled brightly as he took his latte and looked around to find empty table. "Oh there." He said as he mentioned the table in front of Seokjin's table and walked heading into it.
"I'm going to the library." Namjoon snapped as he stole a glance a little into the pretty one who still focused with the book. With no thoughts that Hoseok noticed it.
"Already?" Hoseok raised his left eyebrow. "We have enough time and you said you wanted to---" Hoseok couldn't finish his sentence because Namjoon just left him without bothered to answer. "Yah, Namjoon!"
Seokjin's focus distracted by the loud noise shouted the name Namjoon, and looked around. That was the moment when Namjoon halted his steps and looked back to check whether Hoseok followed him or not. And their eyes met.
They were in another dimension for a couple seconds, both wondered about their feelings. But Namjoon succeed to get his consiousness back before anyone around could notice what happened between him and Seokjin.
He failed to know, that Hoseok was never failed to notice it.
"Are you coming?" Namjoon asked the bright Jung and took another step to leave for sure.
"Yah!" and Hoseok followed behind.
Meanwhile, those pretty beads of Seokjin glued adoring the man that already walked outside the cafetaria. Bit his plump pouty lips, secretly wished they would came back and sat in the table in front of him.
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Smart, rich, and good looks made Namjoon so perfect as a young man. But Namjoon was actually felt tiny and helpless around the pretty one, Seokjin. All he could do just staring from afar like a creepy stalker.
That afternoon, Namjoon was in the cafetaria around the building of medical faculty. Along with Hoseok, Yoongi, and Bomi. The young lady asked them for having break together to enjoyed afternoon tea. And as always, she ended had an argument with the grumpy Yoongi while Hoseok just laughing at the two.
When the three engrossed with their talks, there, Namjoon's beads caught the presence of his beloved one, Seokjin, just entered into the cafetaria. Ordered hot chocolate and cinnamon roll, sat near the window, all alone.
Namjoon couldn't take his eyes off of Seokjin. He was staring like being hypnotized, and still staring when the pretty one caught his gaze. And there, they were staring each other again, for countless time, both wondered about the other's feelings.
"You agree, right, Namjoon?"
A sudden call brought Namjoon back to the ground. "Huh?" He turned his head to found Hoseok grinned at him.
"These two." Hoseok pointed Yoongi and Bomi. "They should date."
Namjoon haven't had the chance to answer when Hoseok got a whack on his head from Bomi. And once again they, minus Namjoon, laughed.
Because the corner of his eyes caught a young handsome man came to greeted Seokjin. Unusual greets, but a ruffle on the pretty one's hair and a pinch on his cheek. That seemed pretty normal, until the handsome man wiped some crumbs in the corner of pretty one's plump lips with his thumb.
Yoongi and Bomi were sat back to back with Seokjin, and still had some arguments.
Hoseok was the only one noticed that Namjoon was jealous, about the pretty guy who sat in the table near the window, in the opposite side of their table.
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Namjoon with Hoseok were walked from their class and was about to go to the cafetaria for lunch, when Seokjin accidentally bumped on Hoseok in the hallway. The books on Seokjin's hands were dropped on the floor.
And as a kindhearted person, Hoseok helped to collect the books. "Be careful." He said as he handed some.
"I'm sorry." Seokjin mumbled and lifted his head to find a warm smile.
It was somehow nothing. But Namjoon was not happy to see Hoseok could easily had small interaction with Seokjin. "Yah, Jung Hoseok, hurry up."
Seokjin glanced at him, and back to glance Hoseok and blushed.
"Don't run along the hallway, okay." Hoseok patted Seokjin's head. And for Namjoon, it was really irritating.
And that's not enough. When they were enjoyed their lunch in the cafetaria, Hoseok asked about Seokjin. "Don't you think he is pretty and soft?" Was really the least Namjoon wanted to hear about the pretty one, from his own beloved friend.
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One day, Hoseok and Yoongi came into Namjoon's apartment to work some mixtapes in his mini studio. But Hoseok got a sudden call and made an excuse to leave. And no one realized that Hoseok left behind his lyrics book in the corner of the coffee table in the corner of the room.
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Smart, rich, and good looks made Namjoon so perfect as a young man. But Namjoon was actually felt tiny and helpless around the pretty one, Seokjin. All he could do just staring from afar like a creepy stalker.
Namjoon was never in love before. Was never in a relationship. And was never good in expressing his feelings.
Namjoon loved Seokjin from the very first time he saw the pretty one. Namjoon got jealous whenever he saw Seokjin with the handsome young man from medical faculty. That people said those two were dating. Namjoon wanted Seokjin so bad. And when he accidentally saw Hoseok sat in the same table with Seokjin in the cafetaria in front of the library and seemed so close while having conversation, he didn't know whether he should make some move to win Seokjin, or just give up.
Because it was Hoseok. He didn't know what to do.
And then, the accident happened.
The accident that some people call it as a suicide.
And after the funeral, Namjoon found Hoseok's lyrics book in the corner of his coffee table inside the mini studio. And he found some notes that caught his eyes big. That made his heart shrinked.
Jin 041292
He knew, without anyone telling who was it.
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Namjoon wanted to stay in States, but he came back home for the sake of his late beloved mother. Because his mother was everything, and he would do everything if it's for his mother. And in the name of his mother, Namjoon always tried his best to please his father. Yet the harder he tried, the worse it got. Because the old man KIM was never praised, yet always had a way to find fault for any mistakes he never did, and blamed him for whatever happened. And it felt like everybody around KIM just stood there watching him suffer, never offered him any kind of help. That kind of feeling. He was died inside. He always had the thoughts to ended his life.
He hated his father. He hated everything. But at least he got Hoseok cheering him up.
And that day... That day he got another reason to stay alive. The reason was this pretty guy he saw in the university library. Black haired pretty guy with kissable plump lips, that made his heart racing so fast. That made everything around were flowers.
Kim Seokjin.
It was love at the very first sight. And ever since he first laid eyes on Seokjin, he knew the pretty guy was his universe.
It was having Seokjin as his universe, or just disappear to the black hole.
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He loved Seokjin. But to read this certain name and birthdate inside his late beloved friend's holy book really got him lost, and broken. He felt misserable to ever falling in love with this pretty one. He didn't know why but he felt so guilty as sudden flaming hatred striked and risen up inside him. His heart bleeding.
What's so good about being a heir of KIM & Co? What the meaning of being smart, rich, and with good looks if he lost his mother, then his beloved best friend. Suicide? And why Seokjin?
Just by read "Jin 041292" inside Hoseok's olive green lyrics book, Namjoon have learned something. That life is not fair. Neither is love.
[end of flashback]
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A/N:
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