This chapter was hard to write for me. I hope you find it thrilling and entertaining!
I think im not so good with writing angst, deep emotions and so...but I hope its to your like.
There will be more love and fluffy stuff in the coming chapters, promise!
It was difficult to finally initiate the development of Readers character, since she cant stick to her shy, repellent and angsty attitude forever.
So enjoy Reader growing some balls! It was about time
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A few hours had passed by since Erwin had dropped you at home. After a whole clean-through into the deepest, hidden corners of your apartment while your washing machine took care over your clothes, and of course after a long shower, you finally lounged on your own couch again, but you couldn't relax. You can't stop thinking about Erwin and his behavior tonight. It was strange, even for his standards.
You can't help but believe that Erwin lied to you today. You cant imagine why, or under which stars this day stood that he would do such a thing, but whatever the reason was, it must be important or either must have a big impact on him and his life.
Erwin asked if it would be a bother if you sleep here tonight, and you suddenly decided: Yes. It is a bother.
With that decision made, you jump up from your couch, switched off the TV, laptop, and lights, only to rush into your bedroom to hastily pack together a few things. Sure, you already have lots of clothes and other belongings at their penthouse, enough to call it your second home, but for a woman, there can never be enough clothes!
After you changed into a pair of dark blue jeans in combination with a light pink, woolen sweater, you throw your warm parka over your shoulders and jump into your boots. Armed with your packed bag and the keyring, which includes the keys to now both your homes, you leave your apartment, lock the door and run straight to the small parking ground behind the building.
The whole day, Erwin had acted very uncommonly, absent, damn, he almost forgot you at the gym! Everything on him practically screamed for an interrogation. That's probably the reason why that nagging inside your head won't stop until now. Its as if there was a little goblin sitting inside your skull, poking your brain with a stick while whispering "Come on, get moving. I know you want it!" And that nasty little goblin was so damn right.
Once you said behind the steering wheel of your own little pipsqueak of a car, you drive off to your second home. The ride wasn't that long, though, but it seems you hit the red wave. One traffic light after another commanded you to stop and your impatience grew with each halt. Tapping the steering wheel with your fingers, counting the seconds, you needed twenty minutes to finally arrive at your destination, and the only free parking lot was on the dead-end of the street.
Cursing silently under your nose, you grab the bag, lock your car and make your way to the large building. From afar, you saw that there was no light burning in the penthouse, which means Erwin is either still out, or already asleep.
Pacing up your steps, and with the main entrance unlocked in a matter of seconds, you rush the many stairs up, floor by floor, taking two steps at once, which was very easy by now, thanks to the intense training with Erwin.
The last floor was the goal, and like the winner of a marathon, you raised your fist into the air, silently cheering at yourself for making it this far, but you cant revel in this moment too long. Your impatience drives you crazy.
With a shaky hand, you carefully slide the key into the hole. This is the very first time you unlock this apartment on your own, without Levi or Erwin being here. This was indeed a special moment.
Inhaling deeply, and closing your eyes, you turn the key, and the releasing click sends a wave of goosebumps through your body. Slowly, you push the door open to reveal the kingdom that formerly was just meant for the two kings that reside here.
The penthouse was dark, silent, probably empty. As you walk inside step by step, closing the door again, you heard absolutely nothing. First, after you undressed, you bring the bag into Levis room. It still felt strange to be here without him, but the devouring emptiness in this room, and inside your heart, weren't so bad anymore. Levi will come back in two weeks. That should be easy to survive. Actually, you're more than surprised and shocked about yourself. You thought you're going to have terrible trust issues, worrying about Levi that some random woman over there might seduce him or steal him away, but that's not what you feel. With Levi so far away, but with the knowledge that he truly loves you, what he said and proved more than once, you cant be more confident that there's nothing to worry about.
Sighing, with a happy smile on your lips, you change your clothes first, since you're not going to leave this place again tonight!
When your cozy and fluffy pajama was in place, decorated with little blue stars all over, you leave Levis room, sneak over to Erwins and knock, but no sound came in return. Taking all of your courage together, you peek inside his room through a thin slid, but the bed was neatly made, and the curtains still pulled back.
"Hm...so then no one is actually here..." you murmur to yourself while you take a deep breath. The whole room smells like Erwin. Musky, a hint of his favorite aftershave. Pure manly essence. Gosh, he smells so good. Just as good as Levi. Something that gets you really hooked on both men.
After you light up a few candles and lamps in the living room, pushing the button of the remote to turn on the TV, you gaze at the clock, figuring its close to 9 pm. That's a damn long meeting Erwin has.
Once again, you choose "My Little Pony" on Netflix to continue the series where you stopped last time while you warm up some of the last dinner Erwin made, and soon enough, with the warm and familiar blanket that accompanied you through so many nights and events already, you lounged on the couch, watching one of your favorite series while eating one of Erwins delicious creations.
About one hour later, you finally hear the door moving, but something was strange. You heard giggling, rough and fast moving, the rustling of clothes, fast and heavy breathing, and...smooching sounds.
After the door crashed into its frame, you jolt up from your laying position to peek over the backrest, first seeing your favorite blondie in the world, but once your eyes caught the whole picture, that woman clinging to his lips like a crushing teenager, something inside you just snapped.
Your mood changed so fast from excited and happy to fury, that it feels your body was burning from the inside.
You know the woman that was with him. Not personally, of course, but you see her almost every time when you're at the gym, always in a secure distance. You asked Mikasa once about her, and since Mikasa was working out there longer than you, she had the matching answer. That woman, Rebecca if you remember correctly, was mostly known for her...fast change of bed partners, but that won't stop the men around to have their way with her. And now, even Erwin fell for her.
But what really made you furious was the fact, that you were fucking right with your guess that Erwin lied to you. Because of THIS woman! Fueled with anger and rage, you stand up from the couch, walking straight in Erwins and that bitch's direction to stop before them a few steps away, your arms crossed before your chest while your eyes drilled holes inside Erwin's skull.
"Hey, Erwin. Who's that? Was your....meeting successful?" You ask sarcastically. Actually, it shouldn't be your business or concern with which women Erwin tries to bond, but to see him with another woman, especially with this one, made your blood boil like lava. You can't even say why! You only know that it's just the way it is right now.
Erwins face mirrored something you are not used from him: Fear.
Was he lying because of this? That he feared how you would react about his.....date? Well, he was damn right!
"(Y/n), please let me explain..." He began, but that woman cut him off.
"What is SHE doing here, Erwin? I thought you're nothing more but her trainer, and now you're even living together?" Rebecca snapped, checking your body up and down, disgust written all over her face that was covered with way too much and ridiculous looking make-up.
"I could ask you the same. What are YOU doing here with this man, that is obviously way too good for you?" You snap back.
"Tch. Don't gimme that, you grey mouse. I can understand now why he called me since he has to deal with something like you every day. That poor man needed a real woman." Is she even serious? Does she own no mirrors at home? How can she claim she's pretty while looking like a cheap copy of a Barbie doll from a sex shop?
"Ladies, please. No need to fight."
"You shut up, for now, Erwin. I'm handling this on my own for once. And you, bitch, I don't know why Erwin called you, and I think I don't want to know, but what I know is, that you don't belong here, you don't belong to him. He obviously needed a one-night-stand for some tensed up energy."
"How dare are you talking to me like that? Erwin! Why don't you say something? Tell her it's not true what she said!" Erwin stayed silent, looking aside, shame oozing from every pore of his body.
"So....now that you're desperate plead for backup failed, would you be so kind to turn around and leave through the hole the carpenter left there as a door?"
You tried the whole time to stay calm, to talk slow and silent, but it became harder with every spoken word. You want to have her out of here NOW!
"You're not going to ruin my night with Erwin! He called me and-"
"I DONT FUCKING CARE! Leave! Now! Before I call the police!" You cut her off rudely, yelling. One more word from her about Erwin and spending the night with him, and you're going to rip her ass in half!
"You know what? Fine! Keep your faithful blond doggy! I deserve better! At least it was a cheap evening for me. Fuck you! You both!" With an overdramatic throw of her hair as she turned around, she left the penthouse, slamming the door close so loud, the impact echoed through the whole building.
Grunting angrily, you turn around as well, pulling your hair with both hands before reaching the couch to slam your palms on the leather surface, fingers clawing deep into it. You don't know why on earth you're so damn furious . It shouldn't concern you who Erwin wants to sleep with , but why is just the thought of him being with someone else driving you so insane?
"(Y/n)?" You heard him asking silently, carefully, as he walks up from behind.
"Don't come any closer!" He did as you said, and froze completely, just a few inches away from you.
He said nothing further while as you tried very hard to regain your composure. Erwin should be the angry one here, not you! Why isn't he angry!? Is that man even sane?! You probably ruined his date, a thrilling night, and he stands there, silent, patient as if nothing had happened! As the silence continued for a while, you inhaled deeply a few times, feeling the knot in your throat slowly loosening up and your heartbeat slowing down.
"(Y/N), please listen. Let me explain..."
"No. I don't want to listen. What's gotten into you? Why? You lied to me. Probably the whole day without even flushing red. Did you really think I wouldn't notice that something's wrong? If you feel so uncomfortable with that chick, why did you even ask her out?"
Erwin sighed audibly and it sounds as if he was scratching his head. You haven't turned around to face him. You cant look him in the eye now.
"I...I don't know. I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't mean to hurt or offend you with that. I just felt that...Im doing something wrong If I had told you."
"Uh-huh. And why this stupid bitch? Damn, guy, look at you! You're way too good for....for a bitch like her! Did you really believe you would get my OK if you come around the corner with that bitch in tow?! "
"As if I need your approval to date someone! I'm a grown man, I can go out with whom I want, whenever I want, okay?" Now that Erwin bargains back, you spin around to finally face him, the painful sting of welling tears and the choking of a rising lump in your throat make it really hard to stay calm and collected.
"No, it's not okay! I'm your friend! It's important to me that you pick a girl who is good for you! And not a random chick who dresses up like Barbie with fake tits and who looks like a fuck-doll!"
"Maybe I'm sick and tired of being just a "friend"! Maybe I wanted to be finally free from the burden to feel love for a person who doesn't love me back! Maybe I wanted to distract me with a one-night-stand! Ever thought of that!?" Erwin practically yelled, his booming voice echoing through the whole penthouse in such a loud volume, it made your ears hurt. But what Erwin just told you made you speechless for a moment. Your ears only caught the words that had the biggest impact on your poor, weak heart. Sick and tired of being a friend? Does that mean....he wants to quit the friendship?
"Y-You can't be serious Erwin! What are you trying to tell me?"
With one big step, Erwin was now standing right before you, his strong hand grasping your wrist as he pulls you against him with a powerful yank, a greedy and rough pair of lips crushing onto yours as strong arms made sure to hold you in place.
"Mmmmpffff!" A muffled protest escapes your mouth against Erwins as his pressure on your lips deepens by the second. With all strength you could muster, you push him away just enough to look into his face, but what you saw there caused your blood to freeze inside your veins. His eyes, that were usually filled with so much warmth and compassion, have now darkened into a deep stormy blue that threatens to drown you. That man's gaze was intense, filled with raw and pure emotions you weren't able to read. His pupils blown wide, a primal growl vibrating inside his chest that you froze completely on the spot.
"You get it now? I'm sick and tired of being a friend. I'm sick and tired of being just a mere bystander, observing from afar while you and Levi are wooing at each other like crushing teenagers! I'm sick and tired of seeing the thing I want to possess the most, knowing that its another man who claims what I want to have every single day! I want YOU to be mine! Only MINE! Why him? Why Levi, and not me?!" Erwin's loud voice pulls you back into reality, but you feel like a deer in the headlights of a racing truck, threatening to get hit any second. Erwins harsh, demanding words triggered something from which you believed it would be gone for good: your panic-attacks!
As your mind was racing for a solution how to make it out of here, you feel your limbs growing cold within seconds. Your heart pounds so hard and fast inside your chest, that you fear it will burst out of your ribcage any second! With eyes wide, staring directly into Erwin's deep pools of stormy blue, your rapid breathing could be misjudged by hyperventilating.
"E-Erwin....dont! We cant! Please! Let me go!"
"No! I've let go of you long enough! You cant tell me that you don't feel shit for me! I KNOW that there's a connection between us." Erwin's grip around your wrist tightens, pulling your arm so you won't be able to back up, free arm hooking around your waist. Your hands have grown so cold by now, that you lost every feeling inside your digits. It was impossible to back up or to move away. Whenever you move, Erwin would make sure to keep you in place. Yanking on his hand was useless, so as stepping backward, and whatever your panicking mind was trying to come up with, it would be in vain as well. Realizing the hopelessness of your situation, your mind had already reached the point where he tells you to run! For your life! Every nerve inside your body was tensed to the limit, muscles shivering and shaking from the rush of adrenaline in your veins, ready to flee at the next matching opportunity.
"Please....please let go of me. I'm with Levi, and I love him! Its irrelevant whats between you and me. We cant! It's impossible. Please, Erwin! We can't betray Levi like this! You're his friend as well. And I would never cheat on him, no matter what I feel for you."
"So you DO have feelings for me!"