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Slumping on the counter of the J.T. Diner, sat a distressed Renjun, whose been a mess ever since Jaemin had confessed to him five days ago. He hasn't seen the boy since then and he dreaded their time apart.
With his face pressed against the counter, Renjun admired the ring Jaemin gave him. The letters of the words carved into it being a constant reminder that Jaemin's heart belonged to him. Which made him feel even worse for not being able to tell him that he felt the same way. His heart ached with each passing day thinking of what Jaemin could be doing, now that he wasn't here to bother him anymore.
'Nana... I'm so sorry.'
"Woah, what's up with that gloomy expression you have there Renjun?" Johnny asked while hauling a big bag of flour out from the kitchen.
Renjun sighed as he propped an elbow on the counter, resting his chin on his palm. "I'm the worst..."
Johnny placed the bag of flour down on a steel table behind the counter while asking, "Why? What's wrong?" He walked over to where Renjun was, leaning his hand on the counter near the boy, ready to be vented to.
"Jaemin doesn't deserve to wait for an answer I could already be giving him," Renjun thought out loud while Johnny listened. "I mean... am I that much of a coward to tell him that I feel the exact same way he does?... He already confessed and I still feel like this is all just a dream. And once I say those three words to him, I'll wake up and he won't be there anymore." He looked up at Johnny as tears began to prick at his eyes.
Patting a hand on Renjun's head, Johnny bent down to align with younger's eyes before he began speaking, "Listen kid. Fear is an emotion that consumes us all day to day, making us regret the things we never say or do when it's needed the most. But you can't let fear be a constant emotion in your life. Yes, it can protect us, but it can also break us... So you need to kick fear in the butt and start thinking with your heart, because the mind can make you overthink, feeding the fear inside you to its strongest point... You shouldn't be fearing the absence of Jaemin's presence. You should be fearing that if you don't confess, you will lose more than just him."
Renjun stared at Johnny with admiration as he took in every single word. "So in short... I'm a coward," he concluded half-jokingly, making Johnny chuckle while ruffling up his hair.
"Don't be so down. I'm sure that you and Jaemin will get through this," Johnny encouraged, standing up straight and taking a cloth to wipe the counter with.
"I hope so..." Renjun sighed.
Changing the topic, Johnny tossed over a damp cloth to Renjun before asking, "When're your classes starting up again?"
Renjun got up off the stool before taking the damp cloth and helping Johnny wipe the counter. "In two days," he answered simply.
"I'd say that's enough time to pull yourself together and confess to the boy," Johnny advised, glancing over at Renjun with an assuring smile.
"I don't know..." Renjun doubted, mindlessly wiping the counter. "I feel like I can't even face him after what happened."
Before Johnny could say anything to the boy, Ten had walked in through the entrance with a crate in his hands, caring all kinds of fruits.
"Johnny, can you put these away for me?" Ten asked while making his way behind the counter, holding out the crate to Johnny, who tossed the cloth in his hand over his shoulder before proceeding with his lover's request.
"Sure thing honey," Johnny mumbled, kissing Ten's forehead as he took the crate from his husband's hands, walking into the kitchen, leaving Ten with Renjun.
Ten looked at the moping boy wiping the counter, wondering what was up with him before opening his mind to the boy.
'You can do this Renjun. Just say the words, I like you. It's that simple. Why are you making this so hard for yourself?'
Having heard enough to understand the boy's troubles, Ten walked over to Renjun, grabbing the cloth out of the boy's hand and tossing it to the side, snapping him from his thoughts.
"Having trouble confessing, huh?" Ten grinned, always excited to pry into the drama of other people's lives. "Who's the lucky guy?"
Renjun watched as Ten sat himself on a stool, his eye's glistening with anticipation as he waited for the boy's answer.
"Jaemin."
Ten widened his eye's in shock, not expecting the name that came out of Renjun's mouth. "Jaemin?... Seriously?" he asked in disbelief.
Rolling his eyes at the older's shock, Renjun sat on the stool next to Ten, giving him a nod in response.
"Woah. I thought you hated the boy."
"That's the thing... I don't," Renjun admitted. "I really like him... for a long while actually. I just kept on lying to myself for years, putting up a front that I hate him when I really don't."
Ten smiled warmly at Renjun's words, finding them very familiar. "You know, I acted the same way when I met Johnny," he confessed, piquing Renjun's interest.
"You did?"
"Oh yeah," Ten chuckled while nodding his head. "I had him chasing me around for two whole years till I finally agreed to go on a date with him," he reminisced.
Fiddling with the ring on his finger, Renjun smiled at the thought of Johnny being so persistent with Ten. Thinking Jaemin would probably do the same. But he didn't want Jaemin chasing him around for two-plus years. "How'd Johnny react when you said yes?" he asked, trying to take his mind off of Jaemin.
"He was very happy. Too happy in my opinion, but I still found it cute when he started jumping around like he'd won the lottery."
"That's 'cause I waited two whole years for your stubborn ass," Johnny intervened, having walked out from the kitchen while hearing their conversation. "But it was all worth it," he added, sending Ten a wink, making the short male role his eye's in response.
"Yeah right..." Ten scoffed, turning his attention back to Renjun. "Anyway. Shouldn't you be going home now?" he questioned, checking the time on his phone to see that it was nine-forty-five in the afternoon, way past their closing time. "It's getting late."
Renjun widened his eyes while checking the time for himself. "Oh shit," he voiced out while making sure to grab all his things before running towards the entrance, yelling a quick, "goodbye!" to the two men in the diner.
Donghyuck was for sure going to kill him for coming home late. They were planning on having a sleepover tonight at Renjun's apartment, him being the one in charge of buying the snacks, but he ended up moping around in the J.T. Diner forgetting all about his responsibilities.
Walking at a fast pace through the cold night and icy sidewalk, Renjun pulled out his phone from his pocket, dialing Hyuck's number. He listened to it ring a couple of times before the tanned male finally picked up.
"Where the hell are you? I've been in your apartment for three hours doing nothing but watching boring tv," Donghyuck complained.
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time, but I still bought the snacks," Renjun lied, entering a seven-eleven nearby and scanning through the ramen aisle, taking a few in his arms before walking over to get some chips.
"You think I can't hear you picking shit up. I swear you're the worst liar ever. Just hurry up, okay?"
Renjun cursed at his failed attempt to be stealthy on his end of the line. "Yeah okay, I'll be there in like ten minutes," he responded before hanging up the phone and quickly picking up random snacks.
After paying, Renjun walked out with a plastic bag full of random snacks in hand, trying his best not to slip while jogging to his apartment building that was close by. Entering the building, he made his way up to his already unlocked apartment, opening the door with his free hand.
"I'm here!" Renjun shouted, letting Donghyuck know of his presence. The said male appeared beside the entrance frame with a disappointed look on his face, tsking the older for being late.
"I'm guessing you got caught up thinking about Jaemin again," Hyuck assumed, taking the snacks from Renjun's hand and walking away towards the kitchen.
Renjun sighed for the nth time today, taking off his coat and hanging it up in the closet before joining Donghyuck in the kitchen. "Yeah... I just can't seem to think of anything other than him. You know?"
"No, I don't know. 'Cause unlike you, my men know I like them," Hyuck smirked, sticking his tongue out at Renjun, who held his hand up in a threatening manner.
"Yah! My man knows I like him too!" Renjun defended, putting his hand down to grab a bag of chips.
"How so? I thought you said you didn't say it back," Hyuck interrogated while boiling water in a small pot.
"Nevermind," Renjun muttered, making his way towards the couch with his bag of chips in hand, plopping down in the middle.
'You can't tell him Renjun. You promised Doyoung you wouldn't tell anyone. Even if it's Hyuck.'
tbc...