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I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame my nightmares because of my dreams.
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--Isabella--
I finished my homework and tidied my desk. Being in junior high school wasn't easy. At least for me. Especially with a crazy father, definitely not. Before going to bed I looked at our family picture which was taken when I was 9 years old. Those years passed by quite fast. Who knew, my life will get this shitty in a snap of fingers.
I flicked the lights off and thanked the god that I didn't encounter him today. He must be lying drunk in the corner of a pub, mourning over the sluts who flew with his money. I snuggled into my bed, trying to find at least an ounce of comfort in this impossibly hard mattress. Just when I was about to enter the state of sub-consciousness, I heard the door of my room open. I immediately pulled the covers over my head thinking it would save me.
Save me my ass.
That was an absurd idea. I just hoped that he doesn't come here. I wish that he is so drunk that he doesn't notice a person sleeping here. And the dear god didn't listen to me again.
As the door of my bedroom swung open, it revealed my step father. DRUNK!!! He must have had a bad day today and now he will take all his anger out on me. My step father is scary. But my drunk stepfather is terrifying.
He came closer to my ear and whispered "I know that you are awake, angel. Let's have some fun. Your devil is here to spoil you." I opened my eyes wide knowing what he meant by having fun. He is nothing but a sick bastard who likes to torture people. Bloody sadist.
"No! I don't want to" I pushed him and he stumbled backward. I took that as my cue to escape and I quickly turned around to crawl to the other side of the bed. Ha! As if that would help.
He immediately held my foot and pulled me back. He took the bottle which he was holding and banged it on my head. The bottle didn't break completely but it was enough to make my head bleed. He brought both my wrist forward and tied it with a rope. So he planned it all. This is how it's going to end. "Isa, do you like it rough? I bet you will like it" he smirked. Every thing is over.
When he was sober, he insulted my body but now when he is drunk, he wants to force himself on me? I am his daughter for goodness sake. He needs to realize that he is a pedophile. It wouldn't make a difference even if he knows. He kissed my neck and I shouted as loud as I could.
Nobody came. Nobody would come.
He slapped me again and again. He removed my trousers and I was left with just my pants. I shouted.
Nobody came. Nobody would come.
He lifted my shirt up and placed kisses on my stomach. It made me feel sick. I screamed at the top of my lungs. He gave a tight squeeze to my breast and I shouted again. He placed a hand over my mouth to muffle my screams.
Nobody came.
"No!! Please don't.... leave me alone....please don't do th-....help."
"Isabella,"
"No! I can't handle it anymore!" I shouted again. Why is everything spinning. Why is his touch becoming softer and softer?
"Bella, please open your eyes. Wake up Isa. Isa?!" I opened my eyes and saw Dave looking at me. I suddenly got up and hugged him. I felt as if my step dad is around me and I need to protect myself.
"Dave. Dave, nobody came. Nobody came to save me. I w-was alone. I-I don't want t-to go back. Please save me. I will die. I don't want to be near him. Please do something, Dave." by now I was hysterically crying. I don't even know what got over me that I said those stuffs. I immediately regretted what I said.
"Why would you say that? Who didn't come, Bella? Who are you so scared of? Tell me, baby girl." He said. He looked so worried. Gosh I am so stupid. Why did I say that?
"Nothing. I just-"
"How long?" he asked, seriousness written all over his face.
"Huh?"
"How long have you been having these nightmares?" he asked again. He held my face in a comforting manner and I looked between the place where he held me and his eyes. His touch is so comforting.
I was so lost in his eyes that I blurted out the answer. "It's been years now."
"Bella, what happened? I know there is something serious going on. You have to tell me. I know it is too early to tell me all this stuff. I mean we just met."
"Dave you don't hav-" I started only to be interrupted by him.
"But I want you to know that I will solve all your problems. Be it big or small. I will do anything to rub that frown off your face and make you smile. Be it now or in future. You can trust me with this one, bebita. I am serious." Dave said. (baby girl)
I guess he was serious. I was still very confused whether I should tell him or not. "It's fine, Isabella. Leave it. We will talk about this when you are comfortable. Let's have lunch. Come." he sighed and got off the bed. Before I could think, I held his hand and he looked back at me. I had tears in my eyes and he came forward to wipe them.
"Let's start from the beginning." I said wiping my tears and he sat beside me. He cupped my face and said- "Bella it fine. I didn't mean to force the truth out of you. If you don't want to then, we can-"
"I want to. I want to say it out loud. It's been years since I have been burying it inside. I am tired of keeping this a secret. And you are not just anybody to me. If you can do so much as to me make me smile without asking for anything in return, this is the least I could do." This confidence in me was crazy. Firstly, he was cupping my face and to make the situation worse, the nick name which he gave me wasn't helping at all.
"I- my father died when I was 10. I wanted a toy of some sort and he went to get it. It was raining on his way back and he probably couldn't see the roads. It was a hit and run accident. He died on the spot. I will never be able to forget that night. My family was having financial crises specially when his business was at stake. My mother married Owen Williams after 1 month. He..." I trailed off when I remembered the day he came into my life. He was so generous in the beginning.
"Isabella you don't have-" Dave said. "No Dave, I want to get this done with. I can't hold it in anymore."
"He is a sadist. He threatened my mother and she ran away. She didn't even turn back. I wish she was not my mother. She was a coward, Dave. Since that day, my step father has been, h-has been ....a-abusing me-" Dave gasped when he heard that. He squinted his eyes towards me in disbelief. He was going to say something but I needed to tell the whole thing. "He often beats me. It is even worse when he is drunk. He hits me with his belt, whips, sticks, knives, wha-whatever he sees in front of him."
I saw tears in Dave eyes which he was struggling to hide. Tears were continuously rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them and I didn't see the need to. "He even-" I closed my eyes when I was not able to say it out loud.
"He what Isabella? You need to tell me." his voice was cracking in the end. "he- he tried to - sell me off to one of his business delegates.."
"That jerk did what?" Dave shouted not being able to believe what I just said.
"Yes, he tried to sell me to his business colleagues with whom he couldn't close the deal. I am just a way to sign a deal with them. He did that twice before but I was strong enough to prevent them from r-raping me. Trust me Dave, it is the worst thing that could happen to a girl. But then he hit me even more. Yesterday was one of those days. Except this time, it was Kacy's father." I held his hand tightly and shook my head.
"Trust me Dave, nothing happened yesterday night. I kneed him before he could do anything but unfortunately, Owen took the video of the whole thing and sent it to Mrs. Steele." Dave held my hand trying to comfort me.
"I know that you think of me as a dirty slut now and you wouldn't want to be a friend of mine. It's fine you know? It's always been this way and I am used to it. I will leave if you-"
And then he hugged me. He put his one hand at my back and the other over my head. I just gave in to the hug and rest my head against his shoulder. A few seconds later, I found myself hugging him back and sobbing. I heard him sniff, indicating that he was trying to hide his tears by hugging me.
"That is the last thing I think of you as. What that man did was pathetic. I don't even have words to describe his character. If I knew this the day I met him, I would have punched him right across his face. If you think you are weak then you are terribly wrong, baby girl. It's him who is weak, who can't fight with men and so takes out his anger on women and not you who is still tolerating all of this. To be honest, why would you? Why didn't you report this as child abuse?"
I pulled back from the hug. I suddenly felt empty.
"I wanted to. I tried to run away but he found me. He mistreated me to the point that I felt like ending me life right there. But then I didn't because I was waiting for the good in my life. Even if I did report him one day, they would have put me in orphanage. Or somewhere worse where they would sell me as a whore. Who knows. Moreover, my education is my priority right now. After I turn 18, I will run away, far, far away. I will never look back."
"You will run away? You will leave everything behind?" I saw hurt in Dave's eyes. I hadn't considered this option since Dave came into my life. He is the best thing that happened to me and I wouldn't want to leave him. But I probably had to. It's not like anything good is going to come out of it. It is just a phase. But then again, just thinking about it made my heart clench. I sighed.
"Isabella I want you to know something. I.." he trailed off. He looked everywhere but me. He finally got up, "I think this is enough for today. Yeah?" I knew he was hiding something and I hate secrets.
I wanted him to be honest especially after I had practically narrated my whole pathetic life story to him. As he walked towards the door, I ran and stood in front of him not letting him go. He still tried to reach the door and I spread my arms across to prevent him from opening.
"Tell me Dave. After I told you everything about myself, I expect you to be honest too."
"You want to know? Fine then." he held my waist and pushed me towards the wall. His eyes were filled with... determination?
He leaned his face towards me and crashed his lips onto mine.
I was caught off guard by his action. Never in a million years did I expect this thing to be happening to me. At least, not so soon. After everything that I told, this was the last reaction I expected. His lips were moving against mine swiftly as if he has done it a gazillion times. He kissed my bottom lips and then licked it. He is so good at this. I slowly gave into the kiss. I moved my lips against his and felt every inch of his lips. They were so soft and greasy. I moaned and as I did, I couldn't believe that I could even make such a noise.
I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to my body. He caressed my back and ran his hand from my neck, slowly towards my ass. Every touch of his makes my stomach a garden of butterfly. No, it's not just butterfly but the whole freaking zoo is present here. My front was touching his perfectly built front and I couldn't stop my hands from slipping under his t-shirt to feel his abs. Oh this feels amazing.
He circled his fingers against the fleshy skin where my butt and my back meets. I gasped and he took this as an opportunity to slide his tongue inside my mouth. His tongue was exploring my mouth and my knees were starting to give up. His one hand slipped under my shirt and moved a little further up to feel every inch of my body. He roamed his hand on my stomach. Why in the god's chocolaty hell am I not able to think straight?
He pulled away and I kept my eyes closed. I was still trying to absorb everything that happened. This was so much for me to take all at once. I opened my eyes and I saw lust in his eyes. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He just grinned.
"That's the best kiss I have ever got. I don't plan to have it from anybody else any time soon. Not now. Not ever." I blushed. He moved his hand to my back and caressed it slowly sending shivers down my spine.
"I have been wanting to do this from days now. I am sorry if I-"
I placed my index finger on his lips and shushed him. He raised his eyebrows questioningly and smirked against my finger. I knew he was trying to tease me. I rolled my eyes. "I am trying to make it less awkward Dave. Let's just say we got carried away." I sighed not knowing where this would let us to be. Where will end up if we consider our feelings.
His feelings?
"But I wasn't carried away. I wanted this." he hugged me again and his hands were dangerously close to my ass again. Feeling unusual, I pushed my ass inwards to get a hold of myself only to feel something hard against my stomach. My eyes widened and I pushed my ass outwards again. Oops, we have a bit of a problem, I think.
"I am not letting this go, Bella. Whatever you told me, is fucking messed up. And I will get you out of this mess. You asked me to save you and I will. Even if you hadn't asked, I would have. I am not letting you fight this alone. Not anymore. You have to know that I am here for you. My whole family is here for you. I don't think I can put my feeling into words. I just wish that you understand it soon."
I don't know how long I stayed in his arms but it just felt so warm and comfortable that I didn't want to pull away. It just seemed right. Everything was starting to fit into place. Our huge puzzle was starting to make sense.
I wish we join the missing pieces soon and complete our picture.
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
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Random question: Have you ever been slapped by someone?