✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- liz & mj ╝
I'm panicking
Somebody call 911. My heart is about to explode
Miss Keisha? Miss Keisha?
Oh my fackin' god
She fackin' dead
MJ
YES! Free at last
Liz
I thought she'd never die
Being perpetrators isn't a good look on you 2
MJ
Uh oh spaghettio
Liz
Slurp slurp bitch
ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍᴄʜᴏᴇs ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ 𝟹 ʙɪᴛᴄʜᴋᴇᴛᴇᴇʀs🌶🥵
Liz
(Y/n) what the literal hell is that
Our gc never had a name so now it does
MJ
Did you use 🌶🥵 because we're spicy
Liz
If there is another reason I'm disowning you
Obviously why else would I use them
Liz
Idk you're stupid like that
I can't believe I'm being attacked in my own house
Hi my name is (y/n) from IM GONNA FACKING DIE and you're watching Disney channel :)
MJ
Do do do do do do
Liz
My childhood dream was to use on of those wands
Hello! Anyone want to hear my woes
MJ
No, not really
Well than, fack you too I guess
MJ
Nah, that's Peter's job
Liz
Hey isn't your date today?
Oh
Yeah oh. IM FREAKING OUT MAN
LIKE WHAT EVEN IS A DATE?! IVE NEVER BEEN ON ONE BEFORE
Liz
You're just going to the movies. Calm down
No, I don't think I will
MJ
You'll live. And if you don't that's fine too
Isn't Thor's sister like the goddess of death? She can just resurrect you later
She's dead
MJ
Is she though
Don't think a dead person can make another dead person not dead
Liz
Your logic is blowing my mind
It's all the caffeine
Liz
Ok, listen, it's just like hanging out but with a different title. You're just going to the movies. Nothing that bad. You've been to the movies plenty of times
MJ
You 2 should kiss obnoxiously loud and get kicked out. It'll be fun
I'd rather not be kicked out. Thanks for the suggestion though
Ok, Liz, but it's a date. There's a difference
MJ
Shove food in his face. That's love
How would you know
MJ
I observe
Liz
And that's my cue to leave!
✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- peter ╗
╚ Bold- ned ╝
Peter Parker picked a peck of pickled peppers
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Parker picked
If Peter Parker picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Parker picked?
Dude
It got you to look at your phone, so it worked
Anyways, how was your date😏
It was good if you disregard the part where I almost died from choking on popcorn
Imagine that, the famous Spider-Man dies from popcorn inhalation
Yeah, no kidding
(Y/n) shoved a shit ton into my face and whispered "love" into my ear
It kinda freaked me out and almost killed me, but it was sweet I guess
But you didn't die so yeah it's love
What are you? A love expert
I'm actually a couples therapist but go off I guess
Since when
Since you and (y/n) first met
You guys are my easiest clients. The perfect pair
Ok, not weird at all
Ok but pear me out
I want to hate you but I can't get over the fact you made that just to make a pun
So when's your next date
WAIT HOW DID I FORGET DID YOU GUYS KISS
No
Lame. Please tell me you at least hugged or held hands
I signed a NDA so I legally can't answer that. Sorry not sorry
I'm just gonna take that as a yes then
Before you know it I'll be at your wedding saying my best man speech about how stupid you 2 are
I'm blocking you
That just gives me more time to write the speech!!
In your dreams
In your dreams, Peter. In your dreams