"Brain damage?" Kaminari asked sceptically. If he was being honest, between him and the nurse, the lightning user wouldn't pick himself as the one with mental issues. She was currently sitting at her desk opposite the student, fiddling with various pieces of paper and humming something that sounded suspiciously like the pokemon theme song.
"Yes. As I said, every time you've overused your quirk, it's not only stunted your brain's development but actually caused permanent scarring. The evidence is in your academic performance since the age of 5. You were a bright young spark, Kaminari. Look here, you scored the best marks in your school for the first half of primary school."
Maeve offered him rumpled test papers with childish scribbles all over them. How'd she get those? Kaminari made a face as he replied,
"Yeah, and then the other kids caught up. Just because I fell behind doesn't automatically mean I have brain damage, sheesh."
"So it's not a coincidence that the degradation in performance began soon after your quirk developed? I've been in contact with your mothers and several teachers. They commented on how significant the change was after you started shooting off lightning."
Kaminari just shrugged. What she was saying made sense, logically. Why would she lie about it? He just knew it couldn't be true. Brain damage was something other people had, something you heard about but weren't actually exposed to yourself. Maybe she was getting back at him for the comment he made in the canteen.
"What I'm trying to tell you, and doing a piss poor attempt at it, is that the difficulty you have in school isn't because you're 'dumb,' or 'unmotivated.' It's because your perfectly intelligent brain is needing to spend more time on damage control than undergoing actual thought processes," Maeve said gently, peering at him intently. Kaminari rested his elbows on the desk and ran trembling hands through his spiky hair.
"It's a testament to your natural abilities, actually, that you've managed to do well enough academically to get into UA with half your frontal lobes singed. However, That isn't an excuse for why the healthcare and educational systems didn't notice. We failed you. I know that this won't make up for that mistake in the slightest, but I'd be eager to restore what I can of your brain during the rest of the classes' internships. It would also be my honour to give you private tutoring and help you gain a better grasp of schoolwork as well as safe usage of your quirk."
Kaminari sat quietly, processing. The silence was so thick Maeve could choke on it.
"So, all the times people gave me crap -sorry," he interrupted himself quickly with a glance at the nurse, who just held back laughter and waved her hand for him to continue.
"All the times people, including teachers, made fun of me for not understanding stuff... I was actually the smartest person in the room, but no one knew it?"
"Well, we'll have to see. I'm not sure how successful the operation would be; there's little data regarding how your brain would've developed under normal circumstances. However, I have some contacts who could help in the reconstructive process. Even if you decide you don't want me to operate, I've still asked Mr Aizawa for you to be removed from consideration for internships. There's a lot to sort out regardless. I'm sorry," Maeve said, with a sympathetic wince at his disappointed expression. Kaminari seemed more upset about missing out on internships than the fact he'd spent most of his life brain damaged and no one noticed.
"You could think of it as interning with me instead. I don't usually take on students so it'll look good on your resume."
Surprisingly, that didn't seem to cheer him up. Maeve searched for a different tack.
"I know internships are exciting because of the connections you'll make in the hero community. But-" a crooked grin broke through her professional sheen "-my motto has always been 'scholarships not relationships.' Words to live by."
Kaminari buried his head in his hands.
"You're going to turn me into a nerd aren't you? I never wanted to be a nerd."
"Nonsense," Maeve said airily.
"Everyone wants to be a nerd deep down, it makes life far more interesting. I'm just going to make sure you have a good enough understanding of electrical principles to be able to use your quirk effectively. It's surprising you haven't managed to kill anyone yet with the way you're randomly zapping stuff. That I know of," she admitted with a wink. Kaminari fidgeted.
"Can I talk to my parents about it first? I do think I want the operation, but it seems like kinda a big decision."
"Of course, I wouldn't expect you to know right now. Just get back to me by the deadline for internship requests and it will be fine. I'm impressed by how calm you are. If it was me I'd be a mess," Maeve commented with a smile.
"Well, if you've been brain damaged this entire time... Wow. If you were any smarter your head would probably explode. What even is your IQ?" Kaminari asked.
Maeve's smile widened into something more cheeky.
"Let's just say I've had multiple organisations approach me wanting my eggs. I'm the female equivalent of a sought after high IQ sperm donor."
Kaminari blinked several times, Maeve's oddly proud expression remained unchanged every time his eyes reopened.
"Wow, I really... Wasn't expecting that response. Er, Congratulations?"
Her smile wavered and he suddenly realised her poker face was shattering as she held back snorts of mirth.
"Sorry, just remembering dad's expression when we got the letters. I was 12, he was furious." Maeve descending into hoots of glee at something Kaminari really couldn't see as funny. He wasn't sure if this was all a massive joke or she was genuine and it was confusingly awkward. Maybe once he got a brain upgrade it would make more sense. Or at least she'd seem less clinically insane. He couldn't believe he'd been excited to be alone in a room with a hot nurse. Mineta had whispered different ways of tricking her into performing mouth to mouth resuscitation as he was called out of the classroom, but that seemed like a very long time ago now.
"Anyway, you should get back to physics. There's a lot to think about already, so I'll leave you to make a decision in peace. But if you or your family have any questions, feel free to drop in or flick me a text."
Kaminari nodded and was almost at the door when she called,
"Oh, let Midoriya know he can come straight in."
As the lightning haired boy called to his anxiously waiting peer, he suddenly realised he hadn't checked if Maeve had taken up the offers of egg donation. It seemed like a rude thing to ask. Surely not, though. The world couldn't handle any more of her than there was already.
***
"Refuse to heal me??" Midoriya squeaked, twisting his hands together in a panic. Maeve cheerfully inched a box of tissues across the desk towards him. She calculated the waterworks would commence shortly and regretted not pulling out her raincoat.
"It's not you, Midoriya, it's me. Actually no, that's a lie, it's definitely you. I'm not going to keep reassembling your body like a gruesome jigsaw every time you have a training session. It's not fair on either of us and more importantly, it's not fair on the people I could be using the energy to save instead. I already find this job frustrating. Do you know the percentage increase in cancer rates since quirks first appeared in Japan?"
Midoriya tilted his head to the side. Surprisingly, he didn't look on the verge of tears any more.
"About half?"
"Close, 57%. With all the rapid mutations it caused tumours to sprout up like tulips. Very unpleasant tulips. My quirk is the only true cure to cancer in history. There's only one of me. There are tens of thousands of them. So until I work out a method that's equally effective but doesn't require my personal involvement, it's up to me and me alone. Sure, my contract to act as a high school nurse is binding and I agreed to it because of how good UA has been to me. But if I feel a student is needlessly draining energy that could be used to save lives, I'm not going to bother."
Midoriya listened, eyes growing wider and wider until they were like Irish doughnuts.
"Recovery gi- Maeve - I'm sorry, I didn't think about it like that. I've acted so selfishly..."
Maeve shrugged.
"No, you haven't. Your emerald noggin just hasn't thought things through, as you said. I personally blame All Might." Midoriya opened his mouth to protest but she gave no indication of stopping.
"His method of teaching seems to be pushing you off a cliff with some pipe cleaners and expecting you to have a fully functional helicopter by halfway down. Which is why I've made a recommendation for your internship."
She pushed a grungy looking business card across the table. Midoriya eagerly snatched it up.
"Gran Torino? I've never heard of him, which is saying something. Does he have a quirk similar to All Might's?"
Maeve smirked.
"I mean, they both involve a lot of hot air. I think he'll help you get a better handle on One For All, and hopefully teach you to use it in a way that doesn't break your body. The pro was All Might's teacher so he knows the full situation. Toshinori's still terrified of him, seriously, ask the 'natural born hero' about old Grandpa Torpedo, his reaction will be more golden than his perfectly styled hair."
Midoriya gulped and slid the business card into his blazer pocket in a manner similar to if it contained nuclear launch codes.
"But you've got nothing to worry about, he's an excellent teacher," Maeve said, trying to keep her grin in check. She really needed to tone down teasing students. Unfortunately, Midoriya was too good of a target to overlook.
"Get in contact. I've already told him about your situation so he's eager to meet you."
Her tone made it cordially clear there wasn't any other option. Midoriya grimaced and nodded, playing with a tie Maeve dearly wanted to reach over the desk to yank. She instead settled for pulling up her legs to sit cross-legged in her office chair like an ill folded origami.
"That's all. Though, could you keep an eye on Iida? He puts on a brave face but this is a very difficult time for him. You're a good friend, I'm sure you would anyway. Send in Bakugo on your way out if that's okay."
Midoriya's expression told her this had to be the worst meeting he'd attended in his life and it was definitely not okay.
***
"Intern with Best Jeanist?" Bakugo drawled, his man spread and hands clasping the back of his head an irritating display of dominance. Maeve maintained her crossed legged position, tapping a pen against her temple absentmindedly.
"Yes. I know he didn't send you an internship offer. He works... Differently... To other pros. The hero doesn't accept interns lightly, it's a big deal that he's singled you out."
"Maeve for god's sake the brat's a complete animal; his hair is more rumpled than Crust's dirty boxers and his manners are tacky at best. Anything but this. I offered you a favour but there was trust sewn into that agreement. Don't make me regret the close stitches of our friendship."
"As someone who knows most of the top 10 heroes, their personalities are about as noxious as the old toilets in G block. Jean's the exception. He's strict and doesn't take any shit, but you'd learn more from him than any other pro twice fold." Maeve said, ignoring the complaints of her friend ringing in her memory.
"So if he's such a big deal, why is he picking me up through the school nurse like a coward hiding behind their grandmother's skirts?" Bakugo sneered.
"Jean, he's a good kid beneath his personality of exploding crap. I think he'll make a great hero, you just need to painstakingly wring it out of him. Only two people are up for that challenge."
"So why can't you do it?"
"I'm busy."
"And I'm not?"
"Come on, I know you're getting sick of the perfect little airbrushed angels you usually take for interns. Enjoy the challenge!"
"I swear I didn't shape you to be this insufferable."
All Maeve had to do was cock one brow at Bakugo and he backed down. She seemed to be the only one with that effect on him. No one understood it, how the tiny unwell girl could command more respect from him than All Might himself. With nothing more than eyebrow movements.
"Sorry," he muttered. "It just pisses me off that Icy Hot got more internship offers than me when I crushed his ass in the festival."
Even though he was practically a living scowl, Maeve couldn't help but be impressed at his apology. This was a big step for him.
"Well, I can assure you that Todoroki didn't get sent an offer from the Genius agency."
Bakugo gave a crooked grin Maeve found unsettlingly familiar to ones she gave herself.
"What a surprise."
She didn't know whether to be offended on Todoroki's behalf or amused.
"Did he also offer one to Deku? Is that what you were talking to the damned nerd about?" He asked, not bothering to hide his interest.
"No, I'd recommended him to an elderly hero who I had to drag out of retirement to mentor him. Neither are keen about it."
As she expected, his grin spread even wider across his ill-mannered mouth. He drawled,
"Okay, I'll think about it. Do you want me to call in Icy Hot or the purple-haired idiot?"
***
"You can't be serious," Todoroki and Shinso said dryly at the same time, one with a frown, the other with a restrained smile. Maeve realised she should have conducted the meetings separately, but it was too late to back down now.
"Halfway between deadly and earnestly. Shinso, Eraser Head's agreed to take you on as an intern. It would involve missing a week of classes for a crash course in heroics, which, knowing my father, is going to be your own personal hell."
Maeve had never seen him look so happy. His mouth was actually slightly upturned, it was a miracle. Todoroki, on the other hand...
"How could you, of all people, suggest that? I'm not interning with that bastard." The prodigy's expression was so frigid Maeve could imagine his nose falling off from cold.
"'That bastard' is the top hero in villain suppression and understands your quirk better than anyone. This would be a compromise. He wants to see you but we don't want you to live with him, so take a week out to satisfy him."
Todoroki was seething. Shinso observed the exchange uncomfortably.
"I've been satisfying him for 15 years, it's not fair-"
"Neither is life, which we both very well know. Spice, you can't cut your father out of your life completely. That's not a realistic goal. Sometimes you're going to need to swallow your pride and admit he's the hero you're going to learn the most from interning with. I'm also pretty sure he's going to sue me if you don't, so that's another thing to consider," Maeve said with a wry grin.
Todoroki's mental bristles slowly deflated.
"Fine. If that's what you think is best, I'll do it. As long as he doesn't see it as a sign of forgiveness."
The nurse chuckled as she said, "the best way you can get back at your dad is not to give a shit what he thinks. If doing exactly what he wants is the best thing for you, do it even though it's frustrating. Oh, by the way, beef soba is a no for tonight."
Both Shinso and Todoroki's eyes narrowed in confusion.
"What's wrong with soba?" Todoroki asked.
"There's nothing wrong with general soba as a meal. Just the beef part. I'm vegetarian. So either you make two batches with beef and one without, or the whole lot meat-free."
The half and half boy groaned and rubbed his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me this yesterday when I asked if you needed anything from the butcher's?"
"You did? Must have been when I was spaced out. Sorry Spice, I have a tendency to do that sometimes. Just mention coffee and I'll snap out of it," Maeve apologised. Shinso finally entered the conversation.
"Is Todoroki staying with you?"
Maeve nodded, twisting a pen through her bun until it was embedded alongside the syringe.
"Yeah, he's the newest addition to the Aizawa household. Now the cats have accepted him he couldn't escape if he wanted to."
Maeve explained a glossed over version of events. Todoroki ignored their conversation, instead pulling out his phone and searching up vegetarian soba recipes while muttering incessantly under his breath. The grey-haired girl didn't bother to listen in, she seriously doubted it was polite.
"By the way, who were you going to intern with if not Endeavor?"
Shoto looked up from his phone. There was a glint in his eye that gave Maeve an uneasy feeling.
"Hawks sent me an offer. I would've gone with him."
The nurse shook her head slowly and moaned, "I have never been more hurt in my life. It's good we came up with a different route or I would've needed to disown you."
"Well, if I was homeless at least I'd get to eat meat. Join Stanley and feast on fried pigeon."
Maeve had never been more proud. Their first moment of sibling banter.