You jolted awake, panicked by the darkness and unfamiliar surroundings. You calmed once you rolled over and saw the light peeking out from under the curtain. You were back in your bunk. Jake must have carried you because the last thing you remember was crying on the couch in the dressing room backstage.
Quietly you stepped out of your bunk. Looking down, you realized you were still in the outfit from last night. Not wanting to think about it, you reached into Jake's open bunk and grabbed his blanket, wrapping it around yourself. Judging by the state of the back room and the hushed whispers coming from upfront, you figured you were the last one awake. You walked toward the slightly cracked door listening in on the guy's conversation.
"Did she say anything last night?" You heard Danny ask.
"No, she just kept crying. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep, and that's when I came out and got you guys." Jake explained.
"I say we don't bring it up." Danny stated.
"Don't bring it up? We have to bring it up. We need to make sure she's okay." Josh shouted.
"Shh." Sam hushed his brother. "She's still sleeping."
You slid back the door, making your presence known to the four boys. "Well, I was sleeping."
"Hey, good morning, Y/N," Jake said, sympathetically. You could feel the tone of the room change as you walked inside.
Danny stood up, offering you his seat on the couch near the window. You kindly accepted it as you watched him sit across from Jake at the small table on the other side of the bus.
"Today's a travel day. So, we're all just stuck on the bus." Josh stated as he handed you a cup of coffee. You reached out your hand in acceptance, which caused the sleeve of your flannel to slip back and expose the angry bruise around your wrist, an all too painful reminder of last night. You could feel four sets of eyes staring at your arm, and at that moment, you wanted nothing more than to disappear.
Quietly, you drank your coffee as you stared out the window taking in the scenery and thinking of anything to try and distract yourself. Suddenly you felt someone grab your arm, which caused you to snap around in a panic.
"What?" You Stuttered.
"I asked if you'd like to watch a movie today, Y/N." Sam asked.
Again, you felt four pairs of eyes burning holes into your skin. They were probably thinking about everything you did to end up in that situation last night. If only you watched from the side stage like Jake begged you too.
"What do you say? You can pick the movie." Sam offered.
The anxiety was overwhelming, and you began to feel like you couldn't breathe. "I- I'll be right back." You stammered, placing your coffee cup on the table before jumping up and running off to the bathroom, locking the door behind you.
Once inside, you turned on the light and looked yourself over in the mirror. Your makeup was smeared, and you had eyeliner stained down your cheeks. Not to mention the fact that your hair was in tangles. You knew your hair and makeup weren't the only evidence of last night. You slid your flannel off of your shoulder, exposing your black bralette. Carefully you moved the lace material examining the deep nail marks around your breast.
A sharp gasp escaped your lips, and you clamped your free hand over your mouth in an attempt to quiet yourself. Looking up, you inspected the painful finger-shaped bruise that decorated your wrist. Even with a hand over your mouth, you couldn't contain the gasping sobs. You fell back against the wall as you attempted to breathe through the cries.
Y/N open the door, please." You could hear Jake frantically knocking and attempting to turn the door handle.
You slid down the wall wrapping your arms around your legs and burying your face in your knees as you continued to cry.
Eventually, the door was jerked open, and Jake ran over next to you, wrapping you in a hug. You knew his intentions were well, but the sudden confinement only increased your panic. You thrashed about trying to free yourself much like you did the night before.
Jake removed his arms from around you and gently rubbed your legs. "Hey, Y/N, it's me, Jake. You're on the bus. No one is going to hurt you. You're safe." He attempted to soothe. Your sobs did quiet, but you still felt like you couldn't breathe.
"Y/N, look at me." Jake consoled. "Deep breathes. In." He inhaled deeply for you to try and match. You looked up at him, and it only broke your heart more once you saw how scared he was. "And out." He exhaled, expecting to do the same. "Just focus on my breathing, Y/N." This time you inhaled with him, exhaling together moments later. You followed this pattern for a few minutes until you stopped shaking and were able to breathe on your own again.
Once you calmed down, you looked up at the doorway to see Danny, Sam, and Josh all looking inside. Part of you felt embarrassed that they saw you like that, but a larger part of you felt ashamed. You couldn't stand to see the looks of fear and heartbreak etched across their faces. They were kind enough to invite you on tour with them and here you were causing all kinds of problems.
"Why don't we go back out to the living room, and you can finish your coffee. Or if you're still tired, you can head back to bed." Jake stood up, offering you his hand.
You shakily accepted his outstretched palm, and he gently pulled you to your feet. "I think I'll go finish my coffee." You knew you didn't want to be alone at the moment. Laying in your bunk would cause you to overthink everything.
"That's good. Then maybe we watch that movie Sam mentioned earlier." Together you exited the small bathroom, you make your way to the couch, and Jake making his way towards the bunks.
Once you were seated, you wrapped yourself up in Jake's blanket again, taking in his familiar scent. You sat there for a minute, enjoying the silence along with the taste of your lukewarm coffee. Eventually, Jake returned. He set sweatpants and a t-shirt in front of you, along with a pack of makeup wipes.
"I figured you'd be more comfortable in sweats. It would be good for you to get out of those jeans." Jake commented as he sat down beside you.
"Thank you." You muttered tiredly. It might not have come across as such, but you were grateful for everything Jake was doing to help. You were amazed by his patience, and it was easy to tell how much he cared.
After you finished your coffee, you opened the pack of makeup wipes and began scrubbing your face.
"So, what movie do you guys want to watch?" Josh questioned, rifling through the bag of DVDs he brought on tour.
"I swear if you make us watch another music documentary, I will walk to the next venue." Sam protested from across the bus.
"Fine, be that way." Josh angrily zipped his bag and pushed it away from him.
"What movie do you want to watch, Y/N?" Jake asked, looking over at you.
You set the makeup wipe on the table beside you as you thought. "Um, Harry Potter?"
"As long as it's not another Beatles documentary, I'm okay with it." Sam yelled, which earned him a glare from Josh.
"Why don't you go change, and we'll set the movie up." Jake whispered to you as Sam and Josh continued to argue in the background.
You nodded your head, grabbing the clothes and disappearing toward the bunks. You didn't even bother to turn on a light. The last thing you needed was to see that nasty bruise again. Jake was right. You did feel better once you were out of your jeans and into something more comfortable. You picked the clothes up off the floor and made your way to your suitcase, shoving them at the bottom. You never wanted to see that outfit again.
"Y/N, the movie is starting." Sam yelled back to you. You didn't respond. You just made your way back up front resuming your position next to Jake.
"I still don't quite understand what's happening." Josh stated as he pointed to the screen. By now, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was almost half over.
"You don't understand because you keep talking instead of paying attention. Just shut up and listen." Danny smacked Josh in the back of the head.
"Ow, no need to be rough now." Josh rubbed his head.
"Oh, come on, Josh, that didn't hurt. You're 75% hair." Sam interjected.
You felt your eyes grow heavy as you listened to the guy's fight, and Hermione explain how to make a Polyjuice potion. In an attempt to be more comfortable, you repositioned yourself, resting your head on Jake's chest. The sound of his breathing was soothing, and he softly wrapped his arm around you. Closing your eyes, you sighed, Jake was the only person who could make you feel safe anymore.