⚠️tw// drug abuse ⚠️
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- let me know if these trigger warnings help/ if they're needed
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ALLIE's pov
"Allie, you're 17 years old! You don't know what love is!" My mom yells.
"But I love her! I know I do! Love comes with no age mom"
"She's gotten you into drugs can't you see? This is all just some puppy love."
I walk down the hall into my room and slam the door in her face. My mother opens the door and shoves her hands into the pocket of my green hoodie. I really wasn't feeling the color green right now. She pulls out a small baggy containing pills.
"I knew you had something in here! Did you get it from her?" She screams.
"It's not her fault mom I swear. It's not Billie's pills." I finally breakdown into tears after holding it in for so long. I fall to the ground, bracing my back against the bed.
She sits next to me and tightly wraps her arms around me, seeing her daughter in pain. I felt comforted for a second until I remember everything she had said.
"Get away from me." I get up and go outside of the room again.
"Don't walk away from me young lady!"
I tip a painting off of the wall and glass shatters. This left a mess in the hall, separating her and I.
a/n: yes its that scene from euphoria okay shh i'm in love with that part.
I step towards the front door and she follows me.
"I'm talking to you, you can't leave!" She shouts.
"I'm fucking leaving! I dont wanna be here anymore! You don't want drugs in your house? Fine. I won't stay in your house." I walk out into the pouring rain.
I get into my car and as soon as I start it up, 'Puppy Love' by Paul Anka comes on. How ironic? I cried until I heard a tap on the window. Billie.
Billie is my best friend/ girlfriend/ neighbor. She must've heard the yelling. I unlock the door and she opens the drivers door. She engulfs me in a tight hug. I felt safe.
It wasn't Billie's fault that I was doing drugs. Yes, shes been taking me to parties these last few months but it was for my own good. I wouldn't come out if my room anymore or last one period in school without having a meltdown. It was the worst of me. I ended up smoking pot at the second party and snorting shit at another. Billie stopped bringing me to them since she obviously saw the pattern of me constantly getting all drugged up.
It didn't stop because at that point I had gotten two good dealers who can give me shit in school and such. My mom found out after the third week of this and went harder on therapy. I went more often and even went to NA meetings. I only did drugs more and to be quite frank, I don't care that I have an issue. I don't think I have one. It makes me feel good and at peace. I dont care that I'm slowly killing myself. Im not hurting anyone else. Billie has tried to stop me before. She's done everything from talk nice, to get into really bad fights with me. I tried breaking up with her too but she wouldn't let me. She saw that I was pushing her away. Don't get me wrong, I love her for trying but I didn't want her to blame herself.
I know she feels bad about me using because not only am I hurting myself, I'm hurting her. She should be my peace. Her love should be enough to get me to stop. I shouldn't drag her along in shit with me.
She walked around to the passenger seat since she was getting soaked in the rain.
"Bil why the fuck are you still with me? Why won't you give up on me?" I plead.
"Why do you want to give up on you?" She asks while cupping my face. I pull away.
"I'm serious. I-"
She cuts me off.
"I'm serious too baby."
"I'm dragging you along with me in all my shit what if you get caught up in this. Or what if I OD and it hurts you forever?"
"Babe, I'm okay. I'm just fine Al. You couldn't drag me through anything even if you tried. But I love you. And loving someone means getting caught up in all their bullshit. I'm gonna hurt no matter what. I just need you to feel okay too, my love." Bil explains.
I sigh and stare down at the steering wheel.
Billie picks my hand off of my thigh and kisses the back of it.
"Come on, get up, lemme drive." Billie insists.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
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She walks over to my side of the car and smiles at me like an idiot.
"Okay close your eyes." She directs.
"Bil, you know I can see the ocean right? And you parked on a cliff? Its not much of a surprise love."
"Just do it babe my godd." She groans and then spins me around, putting her hands over my eyes. She starts walking.
"You're not gonna push me right?" I feel the wind pick up, assuming we might be near the ledge.
"No what the hell." She laughs and then finally removes her hands from my eyes revealing a really pretty ocean with a really pretty sky behind it.
I feel her warm breath hit my neck before I feel her pair of lips kiss down my neck.
The sky was dark pink with some clouds and had a rainbow from the heavy rain that just fell.
"This is so, beautiful."
Beautiful did not do its justice to describe the sight. Billie wraps her arms around my waist and rests her chin on my shoulder.
"I'm glad you like it." She mumbles into my neck.
"You thought I wouldn't?"
"Sort of. Just a little doubt." She looks up at the view.
"I like everything you do." I whisper.
I turn around to meet my most familiar bright blue waves, being my girlfriends eyes. I place a kiss on her lips and then swipe my tongue across her top lip slowly, taking in her taste. This is a bliss.
"I love you."
"I love you too." She smiles and then I notice her face fall a little.
"What's wrong?" She reaches her hand into my back pocket and pulls out a little baggie. What is with people and pick pocketing me today?
I stole it back from my mom. She had placed it on the ground when she hugged me. Billie lifts it up in between the two of us, which I find a little ironic.
"Quit, please." She whispers.
"Im trying."
"This isn't trying."
I pull away from her.
"I'm going to NA meetings." I took offense to her words.
"Do you think I'm stupid? You literally snort crack after every meeting."
I stay quiet. I didn't know she knew about that. "I know when you're high, Allie."
I still stay quiet.
"Try." Billie says sounding defeated.
How could I let two tiny ass pills fuck this moment up? I was in such a beautiful place right now with my beautiful ass, perfect girlfriend and these two little pills were ruining that? Billie is trying more than I am. Come on Allie.
I snatch the baggie out of her hands.
"Allie," she sounds desperate. "baby, please stop."
I throw it over the cliff and watch it fall down into the ocean.
"You're gonna try?" She asks. I nod.
"I don't wanna fuck this up anymore."
"I'm so glad you don't wanna fuck your body up anymore."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about that. I'm talking about us. I can't let pills fuck up anymore moments like this."
Billie immediately pulls me away from the edge and onto her body, pressing a kiss against my lips.
"I'm gonna help you." She says.
"I know. And I promise I'm actually trying this time."
"Good."