(Caroline's P.O.V.)
I slept the rest of the night, with Loki curbing the nightmares. Or my nocturnal brain capacity in general. I was simply grateful.
Weird as I was, I awoke early in the morning to go to work and screamed when I saw him sleeping next to me. The memories of last night took their time to come and him in my bed was something... shocking. Damn it, this had to stop.
After startling him and making him fall from the bed, I remembered why he was here and kicked myself mentally for my stupidity. For a doctor I did prove to be an idiot from time to time, there was no denying that.
Loki groaned. He rose and rubbed his back, all the while shooting me this certain 'Midgardians are so stupid' look. I had earned it.
"Good morning!" I squealed in an attempt to save the day, but he didn't reply. "I'm sorry, my fault."
"It is." He answered, still rubbing his back. "I assume you are going to work now?"
"Yup." I hesitated, biting my lip. This had all been embarrassing enough already. I walked around the bed to where he had sat down on the edge. I didn't want to make this too emotional. "You know, Loki, I just wanted to say - thank you for, for last night. You didn't have to do this."
Loki lifted his gaze to my face. I tried to hold it, which was exhausting. He'd be a respectable competitor in any staring contest. But it didn't unnerve me, it seemed peaceful. He reached out and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze. A very, very tender smile framed his mouth. He pulled me closer and raised my hand to his lips.
The chills started on my neck and reached my entire body in an instant. This bloody, seductive, royal bastard. His lips weren't cold. I let him proceed, it didn't feel wrong. It was only his way of saying 'At your service, my princess'. Nonetheless, it was good Tom didn't have to see this.
I disengaged my hand when the tolerable time for his sweet gesture was over. Loki stood up and left the room so I could get ready. I did so peacefully, not at all in a hurry. After that, I went down, quickly ate a bowl of cornflakes and brushed my teeth afterwards.
Shouting a 'See ya later' up the stairs, I grabbed the car key and left, driving into the city.
Work was harder this time, more tasks in less time. I got along quite well and my coworkers helped me when I had problems. Problems like this old woman telling me I looked impossibly messy. I was about to tell her 'Well, Marge, good thing ya won't have to suffer it in the long run'.
Dr. Barton walked in right in time, so I swallowed my salute to her ancient age. I might as well hide the bitch in me at first.
They days passed slowly, every day was more boring than the one before. Tom called me whenever the could, but he was so busy, and as was I. We didn't have the time to speak every day, also because of the time difference. Also something which should be mentioned:
The relationship between me and Loki intensifyed.
I asked him to spend the nights by my side and he agreed to do that, but before you judge, it was a hundred percent platonic. In fact, he never touched me more than necessary, which made it a lot easier for me. Truth was, I couldn't renounce his presence. True, the were a few borderline gestures like the overly intense hand kiss that morning, but it wasn't too often.
Part of me allowed it out of guilt. I didn't have the heart to reject him, which was stupid, since I wasn't doing anyone good with that. But I couldn't help it, I needed him, I was selfish.
The nights grew colder with every day winter was getting closer, I needed a warm light to suffer with me. I felt protected when Loki was there and we got the chance the talk about so many things. Often, we stayed up hours and hours with him telling me stories of his childhood and me listening attentively, as if addicted to his voice.
He was my consoler in the darkness and I never felt more depending on him than during these months. I told him about my childhood, about all the things I have seen and all the things I still wanted to see. Quite boring compared to his stories, but he listened and took in my every word. Occasionally, one of us would interrupt the other to ask a question, and we'd run off the topic quickly. It was so nice.
To sum up, he made the days and nights without my husband bearable. I don't know what I would've done without him.
After the first month was over, it became even colder, too cold. Of course Loki had no problem with the cold, you know, the cold never bothered him anyway, due to his Frost Giant-powers. His clothes were made of several layers of Asgardian leather, sometimes fur. Also to be noted, he offered me an entire set of Asgardian winter wear for women, which was unbearably sweet. I did wear some from time to time.
Nevertheless, I despised the winter. I mean, it was beautiful and stuff, but I was made for beaches and blue skies.
On 5th of November Tom called me finally. It was about 9 p.m. in England, so he was done with shooting for the day. This call was meant to be special.
"Caroline, my love! How are you?" His butter melting voice came out of my mobile phone and I pressed it more tightly to my ear. My heart was getting warmer and warmer.
"Okay, I guess. I miss you."
"I miss you, too. You have no idea how terribly my heart is hurting because of the distance between us. I can never express this kind of pain."
"Captain Nicholls!" I laughed. "I feel ya, but that's a tad too much drama. Anyway, so when are you gonna be done?"
"It seems as if we have to re-shoot some scenes, so... it will take another month, approximately. They have rescheduled my flight. I'm so sorry, my love."
"It's not your fault, Tom. I'm getting along so far." No need to mention, it was Loki who kept me sane. "The most important thing is that you come back to me... I need you."
"Not as much as I need you. Oh, by the way, who's birthday is next week?"
I grinned from ear to ear.
"Miiine."
"Well, we're shooting somewhere in... uh, some kind of forest, I guess? The thing is, they told us to leave our devices back at the hotel, we won't have any signal. Which brings me to... I decided to tell you where to find your present."
"Present? Haven't I told you I don't want presents?" Don't get me wrong, I loved getting presents, but Tom didn't need to. I didn't have anything to give him back, 'cause what could you gift to someone who stares in awe at a toaster, not knowing what kind of heavenly invention this is?
"And haven't I told you that I won't listen to you? Don't worry, it is just a little, unremarkable present."
"Whatever. Out with it, what is it?"
"How about you go and find it out yourself? Grab a pen and see for yourself."
"Um, okay." I replied and got a pen and a post-it.
"31 Alice Avenue. Did you write it down?"
"Yup, I got it. Please tell me you haven't bought anything expensive."
"Oh, no, I have to go now. I love you, darling. I miss you so much."
"As do I. I love you, please come back to me."
"I will, soon. Goodbye."
"Bye, Tom."
Then, he hung up.
I wanted to now what this present was, but he said it was for my birthday, so I waited impatiently for this day to come. I told Loki about the present and he asked me whether I wanted his company. What kind of girl would say no? He has been more than kind to me, and I was fond of this presence, as he would put it.
Since we didn't have all too time to see each other during the daylight (hashtag work), we spent all the more time together at night. I had however taken the day of my birthday off, and I was definitely going to take him with me. Besides, I was sure he wanted to leave his mansion, too. Change of scene, and stuff.
The day of my birthday eventually came.
Dressed in something that looked attractive, but still Asgardian, Loki waited for me at the door. I wore a black feather down jacket along with dark red gloves and a cream coloured beanie. There was no snow yet, but it was freezing, more and more every day.
Loki had given me a beautiful necklace with something that seemed like a green diamond in the middle. It wasn't an emerald, he said it was something quite valuable from Asgard. The green 'diamond' was embedded in a golden heart, and on the back, he had engraved the words:
Forever yours,
Loki
I must admit that I did have tears in my eyes when I saw it. Loki was incredibly considerate, he just knew how to please a woman. The best friend a woman could want. But this wasn't true, it was an open lie we all lived with.
Loki felt different. I wasn't just his friend or his sister, I was someone whose heart he wanted to claim his. And with all the courtesy and the gifts, he made that clear every single time. But we lived it, tolerated it, no one dared bring it up.
Anyways, we drove to the mysterious address Tom had given me. The drive took almost as long as my drive to work and I noticed that the thing that he wanted to show me was in the beating heart of the city. Not too central to be annoying, but close enough to be 'downtown'.
This was one of the few times I thought Tom was shitting me. When I saw what it was, I couldn't believe my eyes and needed Loki to tell me that I wasn't dreaming. "You took my ability to dream right? And that includes daydreams, right?"
He didn't reply. He had his mouth pressed shut, face blank.
There was this huge, glassy house right in front of my eyes. The garden in front of it was perfect and clean, but I payed almost no attention to it in that moment. This house was different from others, it was designed in such a fancy and modern way, it was breathtaking.
Yes, breathtaking, magnificent and too big for a childless couple.
"Come on, let's look at the inside!" I exclaimed and grabbed Loki's hand dragging him behind me. When we arrived at the door, I saw two silver nameplates over the postbox.
Mr. Thomas W. Hiddleston
Dr. Caroline I. Hiddleston
I couldn't help but tear up again. Loki seemed at least a little impressed , but not too happy. He was intelligent and put one and one together. This present meant I would leave him. It was a gigantic, almost mocking symbol of his 'loss' of me. His pokerface was nonetheless remarkable.
"How are we supposed to get in? I have no key." I said, which elicited a delicate smirk from Loki.
With a graceful movement if his wrist, the door snapped wide open. The smell of paint reached my nose.
"Clever." I murmured as we entered and embraced the warmth that was such a contrast to the biting coldness outside.
To my surprise, the interior was complete. Furniture, carpets, lamps, even electronics like a flat-panel television and a wireless phone. We took off our jackets, well, Loki took off his and then freed me of mine, and threw them on the couch. I had to confess, Loki fit perfectly into the scene. Graceful, classy.
There was a flat, black thingy next to the phone. It was flashing green and I assumed it must be the answering machine. Pushing the button gently, I began to listen to Tom's voice.
"Happy 26th Birthday, my darling! I am so sorry I can't be with you right now, celebrating this beautiul day and enjoying it with you. I am so sorry I can not embrace you and kiss you. Though it's a pathetic excuse for my absence, I'll just say that we can't always get what we want, can we?
Before I miss the point, I better say what I wanted to say. By the way, I'm reading this off a paper bag. Yes, I got the rest if my wage and did a commercial for Hayley's. I thought I'd buy this - It's the same house you chose before. It was already sold, but let's say my powers of persusation and a little bunch of green paper got the upper hand.
You can change whatever you want - or keep it like this. It's your choice, I wrote your name on the contract. I am returning soon, and then, we can finally inaugurate this house together, as a married couple!
Again, I am so incredibly and truly sorry for not being with you, my love. I hope you'll have an amazing day with Loki, and please promise me to smile. Your smile shall lighten the world today.
I love you."
I had no words to say. Tom was the best, most prefect husband in the world, and I didn't know why I deserved someone like him. I wasn't worthy of all this.
Tears were already filling my eyes, but I remembered what he told me. Tom wanted me to smile, and I wouldn't deny his request. This was the least I could so. I wiped away these annoying tears and forced a smile upon my face.
Loki had put an arm around me and rubbed my upper arm lightly. A brief glance at his face told me that he was pained, Tom's words and his love for me hurt him. I wished there was something I could do for him. I wanted to hear his message again, but I was sympathetic enough not to do so.
There was one huge living room, a huge kitchen and a huge indoor pool in the basement. When we went upstairs to see the first floor, we noticed one huge bedroom for me and Tom and two medium bathrooms. My hours occupying the bathroom must've left their marks in his memory. I also found out that there were a library and a smaller living room on the second floor. To put it short, this was inherently too much.
Loki occasionally commented on the rooms, emphasizing how good they looked. I wouldn't move now, of course. I could at least stay in Loki's mansion, despite the long drive, until Tom was back. This was the least I could do.
Selfish as I was, I also stayed because I still needed Loki. This was self-service, and I knew it. He was undispensable and he would always be.