'It was early in the morning the sun was seeping though my windows shining brightly in my eyes, waking me up. Aggravated I tossed and turned trying to go back to sleep; but I failed miserably. I scrunched up my face. It was only 9:00 and I wanted to sleep longer so you can say I was kinda pissed.'
THE SUN IS NOTHING BUT A WEE ATTENTION SLUT!
'I yelled.'
'My dogs laying at the foot of my bed looked at me with their heads titled, looking concerned and looking at me as if I had lost my mind.'
'I slightly smiled at the sight of them. They are my babies.'
'As if waking up early wasn't bad enough my goldfish were back on their bullshit again.'
'They were at the top of the tank blowing bubbles. The noise drives me mental! I swear they know exactly how to get under my skin and it's like they do it on purpose sometimes.'
KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!
'I yelled as I stomped my foot.'
'As soon as my foot hit the ground they go back to swimming, minding their own business like nothing ever happened, as if they weren't getting on my last nerve.'
'When I got up from my bed I swore every bone in my body popped and crackled. I sounded like the rice-krispy cereal.'
'I headed into the kitchen making myself some coffee. I only had enough for one pot of coffee. I opened up my pack of cigarettes only finding out I had two left; meaning I would have to go out into town today. I lowered my head and pinched the bridge of my nose.'
Fuuuuuccck!
'I groaned.'
'I poured myself a cup of coffee. The hot cup of coffee gave me a nice warm feeling inside.'
'After I finished my coffee I lit up a cigarette. Nothing beats that first cigarette of the day. I took a long drag, holding it in for a few moments and slowly exhaling the toxic smoke; causing me to have a nicotine buzz. I smiled at the small high feeling going through my body.'
'I made my way to the bathroom and turning the shower water on all the way hot. I waited for the bathroom to get a little steamy before I decided to strip down and get in. I stood there for about 10 minutes, lost in thought and enjoying the hot steamy water on my soft pale skin. When I snapped back to reality I hurried up washing my hair and my body.'
'I didn't realize how hot of a shower I took until I got out. My skin was warm to the touch and red as a lobster. The steam was just rolling off of me. The cool air against me felt nice. I ran a brush through my tangled wet hair, it snapping a lot but getting a lot smoother the more I brushed it out. I threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I threw up my wet hair up in a messy bun, put on a pair of black etnies, grabbed my last cigarette, my keys and headed out the door. I blasted Celine Dion the whole car ride she was my favorite.'
'When I arrived at the store I sat inside the car smoking a cigarette, trying to calm my nerves. Just the thought of having to go inside made my hands sweat, my pulse racing and made my stomach churn. I have really bad anxiety and I hate going out. I lit my cigarette, the first drag taking the edge off of my anxiety. I smoked that cigarette a lot faster than I meant to. When my anxiety or depression is acting up I go through cigarettes and alcohol like wildfire.'
'When I went inside the story I kept my head low and my eyes glued to the floor, trying to avoid human contact at all cost. I got some coffee, a frozen pizza, a chocolate cake, a bottle of wine and a couple of packs of cigarettes. When the cashier rung up and bagged my stuff I murmured a soft thank you and headed for the door. When the door slid open I could taste the freedom and I felt some of my anxiety start to leave.'
"HEY CHLOE!"
'I flinched. Shit I've been spotted.'
'I turned around to see one of my old friends from college. We use to hang out all the time; partying, 3 am McDonald trips you name it. All of that came to a stop when I got anxiety and depression. Now? Now I just stay at home with my pets. I never leave my house unless it's absolutely necessary.'
'I managed to muster up a fake smile as she approached me.'
'We hugged and had small talk. Big mistake because that's when I got dragged into a social situation.'
"Soooo Erin is throwing a party tonight. Are you coming?"
'She asked. Hope and eagerness was dancing around in her ocean blue eyes.'
'Erin was a mutual friend of ours who throws huge banging parties.'
'I don't usually party but when I do I always rip it.'
"Come on Chloe! Please you never come out with us anymore."
Okay. Sure..
'She smiled and threw her arms around me.'
"Okay great see you tonight!"
'We said our goodbyes and I drove on home.'
'When I got home I put up the stuff I bought and went to my room. I didn't bother to change clothes since I was going out later anyways.'
'The thought of going to a huge party tonight made my anxiety shoot through the roof so I rolled a fat blunt.'
'I lit it.. the first few hits had me coughing my lungs up. I decided to turn on some music. I looked up to my computer screen with watery eyes and scrolled through YouTube until I found a song that I liked. I clicked on a song, turning the volume all the way. As I smoked the rest of the blunt I closed my eyes getting lost in the moment, letting the music and the weed take over.'
'Before I knew it.. it was time for the party. I got up and threw a black hoodie over my white t-shirt. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and walked out of the door.'
'I decided to walk to the party since it was only a couple of blocks away.'
'As I was walking I lit up a cigarette, enjoying the peaceful night. The stars shining brightly against the dark sky, the wind was a little chilly. As I got closer to Erin's house I could hear the music booming. I could already tell this party was going to be packed. I seen people inside and outside. I threw the butt of my cigarette out into the road.'
Here goes nothing.
'I thought.'
'I took a few deep breaths and rang the doorbell. A few minutes later Erin opened the door. I felt my breath get caught in my throat. It's been so long since I seen her I forgotten how beautiful she was.'
'She had bright blue hair that came down to her shoulders, her bangs where razored .. the the left side slightly longer than the right. She had a sharp jawline. Beautiful light pink plum lips. Defined eyebrows. Dark brown eyes almost black looking. Her eyeliner was perfectly winged. She was wearing a one shouldered black Bob Marley shirt that said "one love" on it, a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a pair of chucks.'
'The hugest grin started to form on her face when she opened the door to find me standing there.'
"Chloooooeeeeee!"
'She said as she fell into me wrapping her arms of me. I could tell she was lit not only for the fact she smelt like pot and alcohol; but for the fact that she fell onto me the way she did.'
'I wrapped my arms around her sinking into the hug, letting myself melt into her. It felt so right. My whole body started to her warm and fuzzy from hugging her. My mind swirling with happiness. I use to have the biggest crush on Erin back in college; but I never told her or anyone for the matter of fact. It wouldn't have worked out. Erin is wild, she likes to go out all the time, party every night. Me? I like to stay home where it's nice and cozy, partying is okay; but I couldn't handle it all the time. So I just let her go and watched her from the outside. As heartbreaking as it was you can't tame something as beautiful as Erin, you have to let it go and watch it run wild.'
'I felt the sadness trying to claw its way out of my chest, gripping my heart and squeezing it. The tears started to burn my eyes, threatening to leak down my face. I tried my best to blink them away. I took some deep breaths, the first few Where very shaky where I was on the verge of crying.'
Erin.
'I said softly as I breathed in her scent.. all though her name came out more as a pathetic whisper.'
'We stood there holding each other for a while. After what seemed like eternity she let go. She smiled brightly at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.'
'I gave her a warm smile. She took me by the hand and intertwined our fingers. Her hand was so soft and smooth.'
'She led me through the pack crowed. Music so loud you could barely hear, people dancing, chattering, laughing, drinking and making out. Smoke heavily filled the air from people smoking pot and cigarettes.'
'She led us into the kitchen pouring us a drink. We stood there drinking, talking and catching up. During our conversation she would occasionally lean on me, put her hand on my shoulder or ran a hand through her soft blue hair. This was her way of flirting. I've forgotten how much I missed Erin until now.'
'We was just finishing our 3rd cup of vodka. The alcohol running its course through my veins, making me dizzy and warm. Erin was only inches away from my body. I felt a fire start to burn in the pit of stomach, I think Erin felt it too. She put either hands on the counter trapping me in, desire.. fire dancing in her pitch black eyes. I shivered at the sight of how she was looking at me with such hunger. I felt my heart stop.. the loud music and the people all fading out becoming nothing but a back ground noise. She licked her lips and slowly started lean in. The closer she got the heavier my eyelids got. My eyes eventually fluttering shut. Her lips were so close to mine I could feel her warm breath on me.'
"Erin!"
'We both jumped. Erin turned around so fast she almost lost balance and fell.'
'Of course our moment got ruined by some guy. He was tall, skinny and pale. He had black shaggy hair, lime green eyes. He wore a Marilyn Manson shirt so tight you could see his abs. A pair of blue jeans and white worn out sneakers.'
"Bradly!!!"
'Erin screeched.'
"Chloe I will be right back."
'Erin called as she made her way over to Bradly.'
'While her and Bradly were hugging he looked up at me with a smug look on his face. I felt jealously start to curse through my veins. I can't stand that kid! He does nothing but toys with Erin's emotions and uses her. She falls for it every time and my heart breaks for her.'
'Stood there drinking a couple more cups of Vodka waiting on Erin as long as I could; but the longer she stood there with Bradly the more "friendlier" they got.'
'At this point Erin was sitting on the counter her legs were wrapped around Bradly's waist. They were making-out hardcore. Erin gripped Bradly's shirt with one of her hands pulling him closer, his hands were traveling up and down her sides, creasing her body. I felt my heart shatter like glass. I tried my best to pretend I didn't notice as I finished off the vodka bottle. The alcohol burned as it made its way down my throat; but I would rather feel my throat burning from alcohol than my heart shattering for someone I could never have.'
'I seen Bradly pull away long enough to whisper something in Erin's ear, she smirked and hopped off the counter.'
'She made her way back over towards me with Bradly hot on her heels.'
"Hey I'm probably going to be out for the rest of the night; but feel free to crash here if you want."
'She kisses me on the cheek, her and Bradly made their way to her bedroom. He turned around, giving me one last smug look before closing the door.'
'My heart busted like broken glass. Hot tears started streaking down my face. I had to put a hand over my mouth to keep myself silenced. I loved Erin back in college and nothing has changed. I still love her to this very day!'
'I wasn't going to crash her. I couldn't bare the sight of seeing those two leaving her room the next morning after a long night of love making. Even the thought of it made my stomach churn.'
'I grabbed another vodka bottle from the shelves. I headed outside. I sat outside in the chilly weather silently crying, polishing off the vodka bottle and chain smoking cigarettes.'
'By the time I finished the bottle I was so drunk that I felt numb, even my fingers were numb from sitting out in the cold to long. I threw the bottle watching the glass shatter and scatter against the sidewalk. I sighed getting up, grabbing my stuff and headed back inside. I found a spot on the couch to myself. I plopped down lighting a joint.'
'Just as I was finishing the joint and myself again the front door busted opened. I jumped, everyone turned around, the music had stopped.'
"POLICE DON'T MOVE!"
'They shouted as a bunch of them started the full up the house. Me and the rest of the guests scattered like little buggies. Some people getting tackled, others getting slammed against the wall and handcuffed. I have to get the hell out of here.'
'I ran out the backdoor and was running through a field. I heard an extra set of footsteps. I looked behind me to see a female cop hot on my trail. I tried to push myself to run faster; but it was hard. My legs aching throbbing threatening to give out on me any second, my heart was pounding and hurting from all the adrenaline and rubbing. At this point I was drenched in sweat. Every breath I took burned. Between the cigarette smoke and the cold air my lungs felt like they was on fire.'
'I felt myself being harshly tackled to the ground. I must've busted my mouth on a rock or hit the ground pretty damn hard because I tasted blood.'
"Thought you could get away huh? Well nobody can escape me darling. Let me tell you why.. because I'm Paulson and I'm the best there is. Don't forget honey.."
'The voice was kinda harsh but also soft and dripping with desire. She had a lisp.. that's all I remember before I was consumed my darkness.'