I shuffled around the kitchen, dancing and bouncing to the beats coming through my headphones. Er, Ronaldo's headphones as I am a pilfering pilfer that pilfers.
Ronaldo disappeared at the crack of dawn for his meeting with Matteo, leaving me bereft in my cooling bed and highly disoriented. Question's piling on to connect the crazy pieces that have been the last 24 hours.
Had Ronaldo been hiding a very important relative? Yes.
Was Matteo going to be a key player in my takedown plan? Ah...I wish I could say no.
Did last night really happen? Yes.
Am I going to be weird about this? POSSI-FUCKING-BLY!
It's almost as if my migraines have taken up permanent residence behind my eyeballs. But not right now. Right now I was bouncing and singing. Feeling more like myself than I had in weeks.
So maybe getting my violin fiddled to a grand finale had something to do with my chipper mood. I mean come on...
Emptying the dishwasher, I bobbed and weaved with my spatula-microphone while I belted out one of my favorites.
Crooning about how I didn't want fame if I had to be shameless. Honestly, it was a five-star performance; I felt like Freddie Mercury.
That is until I turned around to find Sweets leaned over the countertop with his chin propped in his palm. Eyebrows raised in amusement.
"Hello, Darlin'." The corner of his mouth hitched up.
"Oh... you saw all of that, huh," I panted, dropping the spatula. Nutcrackers. I bent over to swoop it off the floor and tossed it into the sink behind me.
"Every move." He grinned.
I blew a few stuck tendrils from my face and ran the back of my hand across my forehead. Propping my hands on my hips, I braced myself. Here we were, the face to face after last night.
"I didn't know you could sing like that, Shorts. Have to say, I feel a little robbed." He straightened out.
Heh, don't we all. He's made me feel robbed plenty of times... LIKE LAST NIGHT.
I shrugged. "Just another one of Bathilda's gifts. Unfortunately." My head bobbed. "Besides, one of us had to be able to sing. We both know you can't carry a tune in a bucket."
Sebastian's eyes followed a pattern across my face. "Nope, I can't." There was no shame in his agreement. But as we watched each other, the mood shifted. He stared at my lips, apparently lost in thought or maybe even a memory.
"We need to talk." He walked around the counter to stand before me, leaning his hip against it. It's here, it's here...
"Oh?" I schooled my expression into neutrality.
"About last night..."
Not for the first time, I panicked he felt some regret. He had that look on his face that I dreaded. The stoic this might hurt face. Shit on a stick. My heart started cracking at the edges just falling away. Here it was, the moment I knew had to be coming. The look of remorse on his face said it all.
It shouldn't have gone that far. Things got out of hand. It shouldn't have happened, it was a mistake.
A mistake that we would have to sweep under the rug. Where I would have to pretend that his hand hadn't gone down my pants and took me to the pleasant village of O-town, population: dwindling.
This was going to suck. You don't forget perfection and insane chemistry. Now I was going to have to do both. Fuck it all I'd confessed my plans to him too soon.
Making some excuse to leave was my knee-jerk reaction, but this conversation would be waiting for me when I got back. Come on D. This isn't the first rejection you've ever gotten—first bed rejection but not a first overall pass—just get it over with. Quick like a band-aid.
I held in a breath. Forcing it to do my bidding in keeping any potential waterworks packed away where they belonged. Meaning my fucking tear ducts.
"Yes?"
"What happened, that wasn't my intention when I came into your room last night. I really just wanted to spend some time with you and explain Matteo's visit."
My insides let out the most devastated of groans. Why? Why did I have to be in love with a man who wasn't sweet on me? One who was only interested in some heavy petting and smooching? Don't get me wrong, I'd take both of those over nothing in a heartbeat. But couldn't I'd do just about anything for you mean I love you desperately now may I pilfer your guarded treasure indefinitely?
"Things progressed a lot farther than I expected." He paused "And I can't tell you I regretted even a second of it." I held my breath, now for an entirely different reason; was this hope? Easy girl...we've been bitten before. "I don't want you to think that I came in there to take advantage of you."
Oh. OHHHH. That's what that look was. Sebastian was remorseful because he thinks he took things too far. That I might be thinking he took advantage of me. Silly man. But so sweet too. But also very frustrating.
"Never even crossed my mind, Ronaldo."
"Okay, that's great. If... I... fuck, why am I so nervous." He ran his hand down his face, he was flustered. I bit back a smile, I was afraid if I made any motion he would lose his nerve and I so wanted to hear the end of this.
I've never gotten to witness nervous Sebastian before and it was delightful. He reached out to take hold of my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. "Look, we've had a rough road. And there are so many ways that this could go..."
He cleared his throat. Brows furrowed as if all of the words were lost on him. "Go on." I encouraged.
"Okay, what I'm trying to say is that I enjoyed last night. I definitely know you enjoyed last night." He smirked, he was not wrong, his smugness was allowed. "And I'd very much like a repeat...er... or something similar in that sense. Doesn't have to be exactly like last night just you know, in that general field. We can mix and match potential outcomes. If you're not opposed that is. Completely understandable if that's not what you want and it was just a one-time thing. I'm going to stop talking now." A faint flush was creeping up his neck and he was squeezing my hand. Imagine that, crimson on Sebastian for something other than rage.
What a delight!
The smile that was threatening to split my face in half couldn't be stopped, so I raised my fist to try and cover it. Here was this man who commanded a team with ease. Oozed confidence and had always been acres ahead of me whenever we flirted. Who took the world by storm, knocking barriers down and coming out on top.
Demanding to avenge my attacks like a man possessed. The great thing was that he'd been his usual self last night. But give Sebastian feelings that required to be handled with care and he was rambling in complete Dalia fashion.
I wish I could say he was making this awkward, but alas, it was endearing. In fact, I was a bit turned on, although that might just be my base setting around him.
I had a hold over him; the knowledge made me feel powerful. This was how villains' origins were created. Drunk on power. I'd attack him now but I was gathering he wasn't ready for that. I need to take this slow, don't want to frighten the poor thing.
Placing a hand on his chest, near his heart, I tried to comfort him. "I'd like that, Sweets. A lot actually."
His answering grin made me all fuzzy inside. I may have even crossed my eyes—not entirely sure that part went a bit fuzzy too.
"I'm glad." Ah, there was my self-assured Ronaldo. A gentle kiss met my palm and I was certain that in a few seconds I was going to tackle him for a repeat, after all. I couldn't help it, he did things to me. I cowed the horn bird back in line, not yet, old girl. Not yet.
"Apologies for, whatever that was." He gestured to himself with a sloppy wave. "When it comes to you, there's so much on the line. I never want to push you too fast or somewhere you don't want to go."
"No biggie, Ariel. I think you'll find I'll be hard-pressed to walk away from you." I leaned in for a whisper. "You're kind of my favorite." We exchanged a tender smile for a tender look. My insides melting into a pile of goo for him to solidify.
Sweets cupped my cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. No urgency, no hesitation. All sweetness. I was in heaven.
"Mmmmm." I hummed in satisfaction. If I so much as pushed him, I knew we could take this down the hall and into one of the bedrooms. But before I could leap, Ronaldo pulled away. Ah, well, maybe tonight. With a final pat to his chest, I turned to the fridge.
"Are you hungry? I can make you a sandwich or something." My cooking has improved, but not by much. Given my very euphoric state, I definitely didn't want to deal with fire. At least not literal fire.
"Sandwich sounds great." He moved back to sit at the counter.
"Okay, one sandwich coming up." I moved around the kitchen grabbing what I needed.
"Lia." I turned at his beckoning call, my hand still on the fridge door handle. "There's one more thing we need to talk about."
I froze. That didn't sound good. It wasn't so much the words as it was the inflection behind them. The hesitant look on his face that got me on edge.
"Yes?"
"Matteo didn't drop in by accident last night."
I exhaled through pursed lips. "Didn't think so."
"He has the photos." He paused, eyeing me. My hands dropped to my side and both clenched into tight balls.
"Photos?"
"I know what you said last night and I wish I could tell you that I gave them to him this morning, but I haven't been completely honest with you for a while." His tone was even, detached. If I hadn't known him so well, I'd even say it was cold.
"How long?" I blinked rapidly, trying to keep calm.
"A couple months. Almost immediately after you moved in."
"Shit." I squeezed my eyes shut and grumbled.
"Darlin', he's had this plan set in motion for a long time. I've been helping him and that seemed to be enough. I had to do something ." He tapped on the counter, restlessly.
My eyes latched on to the motion because I couldn't look him in the eye. "He wants to talk to you too. He's going to need your help to nail her. That's going to mean that you're going to have to testify during any trial."
Sebastian's voice lost any tenderness left, he was dictating. A flashback to all of those arguments from before us. I pressed my palms to my eyes. Trying to block this shitshow out. What the double fuck! Trial? Testify?
I was mad, that was certain. I told him strictly that it was my choice. But wait, how could that matter. He'd gone behind my back long before we did anything last night. I felt stupid for thinking he'd let me have control over this.
Sebastian always talked each decision over with me. Always. Yes, he had to persuade me every time and he ended up getting his way. But at least there was an illusion that I made that decision all by myself. This was the first time he shot before shouting out a warning.
It hurt.
Did it matter that he was more than most likely right about this?
Yes. It mattered a shit-ton.
But I wasn't ready to admit that yet.
My hands twisted and twisted within themselves as I paced the floor-length behind the counter. If I looked at Sebastian I would cave into forgiveness before I worked my own feelings out. Then this would constantly sit between us, so I kept my eyes away from him. Focusing on the floor.
To his credit, he stayed put without saying a word. Giving me this moment to work through it. How did this conversation turn to such shit? It had a promising beginning, filled with hope. We had a maybe tonight. I was looking forward to that maybe.
Now it looked like it was all over before we really began.
Why couldn't he let me handle this? I longed to forget her and the life she keeps dragging me into; no matter how unrealistic that was.
I never wanted a big battle with her, I thought that much was clear. My plan had been some subtle threatening, not shooting a fucking missile into aggressive territory. Sure I had yet to draft a plan B if that hadn't worked. But I'd only just gotten around to facing her halfway.
I'd spent my whole life in the midst of a war with Bathilda. It wasn't wrong to want to be left alone, was it?
I've run from her for so long I don't know what chasing her instead even looked like. It made me anxious. She will stop at nothing to unravel my entire life in the process of her demise. I knew that. This would be more than what I'd warned him about last night. If either one of us survived this by the end, that would be a miracle.
Every bone in my body was screaming to pack up and leave. To go grab Tony & Co. Get the fuck out of this state and as far away from the clusterfuck that's about to take place. The idea held such charm.
That's what I was going to do. I would march out of here, pack my duffels and never look back.
Yea, okay. Sure you will.
I scowled at the nagging voice in my head. Can't you just let me have one moment of irrationality? Eh?
Nope. You ain't leaving and we both know it.
I stifled my grunt. I really needed to stop these arguments with myself.
I made my bed, quite literally, when I chose him. Running meant no Sebastian. Given that I was stupidly in love with him, no him was a bit problematic.
Running held zero appeal now and it hadn't for some time. So there goes that idea.
The quick heavy breaths he was taking was my clue he knew exactly what I'd been considering and I could hear his heartbreaking from all the way over here. The sound drowning out my frantic pacing. It was like a bucket of ice-cold water being poured over my emotions. I was very, very tired of hurting him.
Nothing has turned out how I'd imagined it. Nothing would change. It was nothing I couldn't handle.
I hated that I am getting forced into the warzone. But it was inevitable. I often wondered if part of me was always afraid of facing the horror that her life promoted. That I'd been afraid to take too close of a look to what life at the Canary entailed. Maybe it was that guilt that always made me feel like I deserved everything she did to me.
Granted there wasn't much I could do as it was. Dalia vs. Red's army was not a long-lasting fight. I felt guilty for not being able to change those poor girls' reality. I felt despicable for considering walking away. I had an opportunity here and Sebastian knew it.
The difference between Sweets and me is he knew what the risk was for doing what he did and did it anyway. Me, I flounder for eons until I get my shit together. Not a very charming trait. I know why he did it and god damn it, did it do things to all of my heartstrings.
I leaned against the fridge and slid down to the floor. My head hit the door and I squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear Sebastian starting to get up and I stopped him with my hand without even opening my eyes. The sound of him sitting back down helped me focus.
Well, I'll be a sad Sally. I'm gonna stand witness in a trial. Blah. This is going to be a nightmare.
I forced air out of my lungs, causing my shoulders to slump forward. Fuck it all, it would be showtime from here on out.
Like a long coiled spring, Sebastian jumped off his stool and knelt before me. I watched him hesitate for a split second before grabbing my hands.
"Shit, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for how I went about doing it. I'm not sorry about doing it but I am far more sorry I didn't try to get you around the idea first." I fought my smile. Ronaldo, Ronaldo.
"I just wanted you to be safe. I couldn't sit back and watch her hurt you repeatedly. Darlin' I—" He stopped, his eyes bouncing between mine, hesitating. He "l" what? "I couldn't stomach the idea that she would kill you in the end."
Liar, liar, pants on fire. Well not really lying, Sweets would definitely not want me dead. I just wish he would have finished that sentence the way he really wanted.
"Please, say something." It was his plea and the hard swallow that finally moved me into action.
"Of course I'll do it. I don't forgive you though. Not yet, and I can't promise it'll be soon. I'm not sure how long it'll take." He nodded solemnly. Accepting his fate as it was.
"That's understandable."
"Just need some time," I added.
"Okay."
I sighed holding back the full magnitude of my smile. "Alright, you're forgiven."
He blinked. "What happened to time?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I can't be mad at you. Not again. I don't have a habit of repeating miserable situations, Sweets. I miss you too much when we're being stubborn a-holes. Besides, I want to do better. So with that being said, water under the bridge and all of that jazz." I waved my hand through the air. He was still clutching the other one.
"It'll be me and you, Lia. All the way through. You have my word on that." I let those words do what they were meant to. Fill my greedy heart to the brim with happiness. This is why I couldn't stay mad at him. He stood up and pulled me up with him.
"It better be." That was all I had. We've exhausted every emotion through the same tired disagreements. This was me taking it for what it was, a damn shove in the right direction with a Sexy Baker as my guide. If I can't laugh about it now, then I'd cry.
He held my hand and led me out of the kitchen toward the couch. "We need movie therapy. You pick whatever you want and you won't hear a single syllable of a complaint from me." I loved that he'd adopted this so easily.
This was a golden idea, I needed to decompress. My depraved mind was excited about subjecting Sebastian to cinema torture. We sat down and I started the selection process. I moved through the movie covers searching for something specific. Something that would make him cringe.
My action was predetermined. I'm to stop at a potential candidate, hesitating just long enough to let him know I was considering it. I look for his reaction, and that was how this game was played. Here's how it went.
Scroll, scroll, scroll. The Notebook. Nothing, huh? Okay, I'm impressed, I definitely went with the big guns.
Scroll, scroll, scroll. Titanic. He fidgeted. Although I am a fan of the Leo/Kate love zone, 2 hours of build-up, followed by 1 hour of everyone dying was not what I was into at the moment. And honestly, I still get pissed off about the throwing the necklace back into the ocean thing. Next.
Scroll, scroll, scroll. Love Actually. Lips pressed together; now we're getting somewhere.
Scroll. 27 Dresses. His eye twitched; getting closer. To be fair though, Katherine Heigl was a tough pill to swallow.
Scroll. Scroll. Ohh here's a good one. You've Got Mail. His brow furrowed and he let out a deep sigh. Seriously? Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan was a no? Oh, we were so going to have words about this.
I scrolled for what seemed like a full minute before I spotted it. I knew this was going to be the grand slam.
Hello, Fifty Shades. He hadn't slapped a hand over his mouth fast enough to cover up the groan.
YAHTZEE!
This was going to become so uncomfortable and I was going to enjoy every second of it. I didn't even want to watch this but as someone dedicated to my craft I was going to watch him squirm with pleasure.
I said I forgave him, not that I wasn't going to make him pay, so sue me for pettiness. With a final pat to his knee, I hit the last nail into the coffin. Select was my new favorite button.
Sebastian shook his head. "Ruthless." I grinned
"So I've been told. But you promised no complaining." I tsked at him, pointing an accusing finger in his direction.
"I was merely stating an observation that was wholly unrelated to the movie choice." His chin tilted up as he braced himself for the most awkward two hours of his life. Oh, I'm sure there are others, but right now? This was the most awkward.
The opening shot started while I settled in. We watched in silence for the next few minutes, then I couldn't hold it in.
"I can't believe you hate You've Got Mail. That is a huge black mark on your report card, Beets." We looked at each other.
He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. "It's not that I hate it, exactly."
"What's wrong with it? Don't like Kathleen Kelly getting one over Joe Fox? F-O-X doesn't do it for you?" I raised my eyebrows.
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?" I pushed.
"Just some things..." This amateur was stalling. He should know better by now.
"What things?"
"Things, things." He ducked his chin down.
"What things, Sebastian? If you would just come out with it this could all be over." I was poking the bear, by this point, we weren't even paying attention to Christian Grey being all enamored with Ana.
"I don't hate it!" He finally blurted out, my eyebrows shot up. "There's nothing wrong with it. I'm actually quite fond of it, it's a highlighted favorite. I only made a fuss because I was trying to manipulate the situation. Happy?" He glared at me, I laughed. Dirty cheater.
"Are you being sarcastic?" I asked as soon as my cackling subsided.
"No actually, I'm not." He grumbled. "I have a weakness for Tom Hanks if you must now." Who could argue with that? It's Tom Hanks for chrissake.
"So... Sleepless in Seattle?"
He scoffed. "Don't insult me."
"Is that a no?"
"Is Tom Hanks in it?" Sebastian shot back. I nodded. "Then there's your answer."
And it hit me, whenever he chose for movie therapy Tom Hanks was somewhere on the casting bill. Including..."Turner and Hooch?"
"Yea, Short Stack." He said reverently. "Turner and Hooch."
I fucking loved this man.
We sat in renewed silence as the movie progressed. Now that I got Sebastian to admit he loved You've Got Mail, this game wasn't enjoyable anymore.
When we got to the first play scene things got to fidgeting territory. It was interesting since the man next to me conducted the orchestra between my legs last night and yet visual spanking was making us both uncomfortable. Although watching two actors portray it so awkwardly was really what made this uncomfortable.
Neither one of us could sit still, I was surprised we made it this far. Right at the apex of Ana getting flogged I grabbed the remote and put us both out of our misery.
"Oh, thank god." He dropped his head back. Feeling in a generous mood I scrolled back to our beloved flick and hit play.
The wonderful dial-up sounds made Sebastian's head pop up. His responding grin could melt a fucking glacier.
"Hit pause, I'm gonna grab some water. Do you want anything?" I nodded at his offer.
"Water for me too, please. But this is an open plan and the kitchen is right there, Ronaldo" I teased.
He crossed his arms at his chest and slowly backed away. "The fridge door blocks the view and I take this movie very seriously, Short Stack. Never miss a second, otherwise, it messes with the flow." He turned and walked away.
My eyes followed him while I grinned like the Cheshire cat. He was absolutely perfect.
Sitting there patiently, I was tapping my fingers on my leg when he came back with two glasses. As soon as I finished, I ensconced the vessel. My finger hovered over the play button when Sebastian placed his hand over mine to stop it.
I looked up at him, he was still standing. "Hey Darlin', we never really got to hug this one out." Sweet niblets, he crushed me. "It doesn't feel right when we don't." Ooooooooooof. Take my beating organ, just take it.
I shot up and squeezed him as tightly as I could. Ronaldo reciprocated with a boa clench. The tenderness in my cheek could just shove it. I sighed in pleasure. Mine. These hugs were mine.
Man, he had all of the greatest ideas when he was remorseful. Involuntarily my face snuggled into his chest and I took in his scent. My holiday catnip that I'll never have to miss.
His cheek rested on top of my head, his hand rubbed up and down my back in soothing circles. "At the risk of sounding like a complete pervert—and this is entirely not connected with what we just watched—but may I suggest snuggling?"
I tilted my head up to look at him.
"By snuggle I mean spoon. Let's be honest here. I'm looking for a good old fashioned spoon. So..." Sebastian egged me on.
"You thinking I'm gonna say no?"
He closed one eye. "You might."
"Read my lips, Sweets. Is Tom Hanks in this movie?"
"Yeeeees," He replied slowly, watching me through an increasingly narrowed remaining eye.
"Theeeennn I claim big spoon." I dropped down to the couch without finesse.
"Get out of here. You won't be able to see anything." He tapped my leg and slid in behind me. Teaspoon to Serving spoon so it shall be.
"So pushy."
"No. Logical." He adjusted behind me. "And practical. Also, great with my hands." His fingers squeezed my hip in emphasis.
I slapped his hand. "Focus, Ronnie."
"Fine." He nuzzled my neck. "Now hush, I'm trying to pay attention."
I grinned, pinching his forearm and earning a muffled yelp.
Sebastian's arm felt heavy around my waist and his bicep made an excellent pillow. About halfway through I noticed his breathing had slowed and knew instantly he was out cold.
Without thinking about it, I twisted my head and gave my stolen pillow a kiss. My lips lingering on the wonderful patches of colors. Snuggling closer to his front, his arm instinctively held tighter and I felt his mouth press against the back of my head before he sighed. Even sleepy kisses from my interfering justice warrior sent bolts of incredible tingles down my spine.
Everything felt right with the world and not long after that, I was drifting into Dreamland myself.