(excuse all mistakes.)
Compton, California 📍
Vadah Avani Parker | Buddha
"You got me fucked up Avani." He stared down into my eyes.
I tried my best not to look intimidated, scrunching up my face giving him the meanest mug I could muster up.
Whole time Fat ma down there thumping and jumping.
"What did I do?" I grabbed a hold of his arm.
"You know the last time I heard from you?" He backed me into the wall. "Hm?"
"I—" I cut myself off because his grip on my neck started to get tighter and at this point I think this nigga was tryna kill me foreal. "Kami—"
He cut me off by smashing his lips onto mine making me instantly kiss him back.
I was trapped between him and the wall as we kissed passionately.
We were making a lot of noise and I was in a trance until I realized my father might've be home.
"Kamiri." My words came out as a mumble against his lips.
He ignored me, parting my legs with one of his own and slid his right hand down the curves of my body.
He began to rub me through my shorts and I felt myself getting wetter and wetter.
Initially, I wasn't gonna tell him to stop him but the thought of getting caught ran through my mind and I grabbed his hand. "Kamiri we can't."
"Why baby?" He kissed my neck and massaged my clit gently.
"My dad's up there." I moaned softly as he continued anyways.
In the back of my mind, I just had a feeling Kamiri didn't give a fuck about getting caught by my father.
that's why he don't like his ass now.
Suddenly, he plunged two fingers into my wetness making my mouth drop and my eyes roll to the back of my head.
"Fuck." I spread my legs a little wider giving him more access.
He looked me in my eyes the whole time with a look of determination on his face.
Suddenly, he sped up the pace of his fingers all while twisting them upwards, hitting my spot.
So I see this bitch was tryna get us caught.
I bit my lip trying to contain my moans and that caused him to take his free hand, and pull my embedded lip from in between my teeth.
"Let me hear you Peanut."
"Mm." I shook my head. I should be ashamed of my fucking self. Running from fingers? Like sis do the fuck better.
I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and that's when I realized I had left the kitchen light on.
Nothing was said as the steps got closer, just the same as my orgasm.
"Kamiri." I spoke firmly, getting a good hold on his wrist. "Stop."
"No." He smirked childishly. "You boutta nut ain't it baby?"
"Buddha?" I noticed the voice that belonged to Aubrielle.
"Hm?" She still hadn't cut the corner and I instantly felt that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"You good girl?" She sounded concerned.
"Yeaaa, fuck." I moaned softly. He removed his fingers and put them to my mouth causing me to grab a hold of his wrist and suck on his index and middle finger.
He watched me in mesmerization as I licked his fingers clean.
"Why you le— oh! Oh." Aub cut the corner and nodded. "Ohhhh."
"Washannin Aub." He nodded at her, removing his fingers from my mouth.
"Mhm. Wassup KB." She had this smug smile on her face before looking over at me. "You know yo ol boy still here right?"
"How you know?" I straightened myself up, fixing my clothes.
"He just came out his room same time I came out yours. Asked me where you was and I just told him I was about to go check on you." She crossed her arms and leaned her weight onto her left leg.
"She good."
"Boy please. He know you here?" She raised her eyebrow.
The look on his face screamed 'nope and ion give a fuck if he find out'
"Ask me if I care." He gave her a dumbfounded look.
"Tell him I'm good." I looked over at her after nudging Kamiri.
"Girl yo daddy fine as hell, ian tellin him shit. If he knock on yo door I'll cover for you. Better be safe friend." She chuckled before turning to walk away. "Bout to go call my nigga."
She walked away and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I started to make my way to the kitchen, picking up the bagel I had dropped on my way out.
"You needa hurry up so we can go outside." He rushed me.
"You gone fuck me in the car?" The words that sounded wayyyy better in my head spilled from my mouth.
"Vadah what...?" He looked like he wanted to bust out laughing. "You getting so fucking bold man."
"I didn't mean to say that out loud." I contemplated on whether or not to throw the bagel in the garbage.
"I'm not fucking you." He shook his head.
It was then when I looked up at him, taking in his outfit. He sported a crisp white polo shirt, a pair of jeans that said 'sex drive' on the knees, and some black GG slides.
It also could see that he had just gotten a haircut.
woosahhh.
Literally everything this boy did made my damn vagina quake.
"Why the hell not?" I found myself getting agitated.
"Cause we don't need to fuck. We need to talk. That's our problem. We lack communication."
"Don't try and make it seem like that's all on me." I quickly looked up at him.
"I'm not, that's why I said our problem. Meaning we need to work through it together. Damn stop being so defensive."
"Whatever." I put away everything I brought out for the bagels, not even wanting one anymore.
"Why you onnat man?" He seemed like he was getting frustrated with me.
"What're you talking about?"
"You just brushing me off and acting all nonchalant with me. The fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing." I pushed passed him and cut the kitchen light off. "Let me go change."
"Alright Vadah." He shook his head as I started to make my way to my room.
Aub was layed on my bed stomach first, on FaceTime with Tonio. She looked over at me doing a double take.
"Hol up Antonio." She spoke before pressing a button on her phone.
"Don't be fucking muting me girl." He spoke.
She waved him off and looked over at me as I rumaged through my drawers. "He left?"
"No he's downstairs. He probably went to his car." I mumbled.
"Okok. You okay?"
"Mhm." I never once looked up at her. I felt sticky down there and I really wanted to rid myself of my shorts.
I settled on a pair of black tights and some boyshorts then began making my way to my bathroom.
"Buddha." She called out making me turn around.
"Hm?"
"Let me just start off by saying, I'm never gonna be that friend that's gonna tell you that your nigga ain't shit and that you shouldn't be with him because I ain't that bitch. But im also never gonna be the friend to hold my tongue and tell you what you want to hear. Imma tell you what's right." She spoke seriously making me nod.
"I'm about to contradict myself and I should've told you this to begin with but please don't be so forgiving."
"I kno—"
"No, listen. It's okay to forgive, but remember how you told me you felt about the situation?"
"Yeah. Like nobody cared about my feelings." I nodded slowly.
"Okay, so y'all about to go sit in that car and do God knows what and if y'all do end up talking, keep in mind that this the same person who needed his time. You have the right to need time too. Don't make nobody guilt trip you into taking them back or whatever."
"You haven't been crying or frowning these past two weeks. I don't care how much you like someone, your mental stability is way more important." She preached.
this tonio babymama forsure.
"Same thing with your sisters. They only call you when they need something so if you feel like you need time off from them, take that shit. Period."
I nodded slowly, letting everything she was saying sink in. "Thanks Aub."
"Anytime girly."
With that, I continued on my journey to my bathroom, cleansing myself thoroughly before putting on a pair of panties and my tights.
I began to quietly make my way downstairs and out of the house towards Kamiri's car.
The light from his phone illuminated his face as he looked over at me and licked his lips.
He dropped his phone in his lap and cranked up the car, slowly pulling off.
"Where are we going?" I looked over at him.
"You ignored me for two weeks? Why?" He answered my question with a question.
"You ignored me for two days." I shrugged. "Where we going?"
"That don't even make sense. Two days... Two weeks?"
"I needed time." I shrugged.
He stopped at a red light and looked over at me with the straightest face ever. "Fuck man. Why can't we just get it together Peanut?"
My face softened a little. It seemed like he was really trying.
"I don't know." I shrugged, looking out the window. "These past two weeks I've just been thinking.."
"Thinking what?" This light was taking forever to turn green and it was raising my damn anxiety.
"A lot."
He chuckled and pulled off, clenching his jaw. "You bout to make me mad."
"What you talking bout?"
"Stop beating round the bush. Open yo mouth and just say what the fuck you thinking." He spazzed making me snap my neck to him.
"Boy don't fucking yell at me."
"No cause I'm tr—"
"Ion give a fuck what you tryna do. You better talk to me more civilized or just shut the fuck up. Period."
He clenched his jaw and gave me a look.
Shut his ass up up though.
"Ion know who you think you be talking to." He chuckled.
"Anyway." I ignored him. "I just been thinking about a lot of shit. Those two days may not have seemed like a lot but to me, that was a long time. I felt neglected, and not just by you. By everybody. You hurt me the most though." I nodded.
"So when I said I needed time, I meant that. I'm not saying you broke my heart or anything." I quickly cleared that up, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. "But the lil two weeks that I was ignoring you, I feel like I found myself."
"You saying you better off without me?" He grew defensive.
"That's not what I'm saying at all. I— were you not listening?"
"I was." He nodded. "And that's what I got from that."
niggas.
"Well that's not what I was saying." I rolled my eyes.
He wasn't saying anything so I decided to keep talking.
"I needed you the most in that hospital and you weren't there."
"I told you—"
"That you needed time? That you was handling it? I don't give a fuck. A simple FaceTime call would've sufficed but stop tryna justify what you did, the shit wasn't right. Period." I snapped.
After a few moments of silence he finally decided to open his fucking mouth. "Nasiah was there. At the gas station."
I looked over at him tryna hide my shock. "I don't know why you looking like that. I told you all that Mr. nice guy shit was a facade."
"Why?" I asked, confused as to why people were plotting on me. I was a sweet girl, I didn't fuck with anyone. I minded my business but yet and still people put me in the mix.
He shook his head and I assumed he wasn't gonna tell me.
"You got me fucked up if you think you're not gonna tell me why people wanna jump and damn near kill me all of a sudden." I let out a humorless chuckle.
"I don't even know my damn self." He looked over at me.
"Well when you find out, let me know." I nodded.
"You too fucking snappy, ion like that shit." He mugged the fuck out of me.
"Well." I shrugged.
He simply nodded and it got quiet as we drove in silence. He pulled into an empty parking lot making me get a lil scared.
this bitch probably brought me over here to this vacant parking lot so he could kill me.
He sighed and layed back in his seat, throwing his left arm over his eyes.
As always, I felt like I was the only one expressing myself. He was always saying we needed to talk but never wanted to open his damn mouth.
"So you not gonna say anything? Cause if not, this shit is pointless." I shrugged.
He looked at me and shook his head, chuckling.
"I apologize." He spoke up. "I was wrong. I was making excuses for myself, knowing my problems ain't with nobody but me."
"I got abandonment issues real bad. That ain't no excuse for the way I was acting though. I played victim, acting like ian do shit when I did and i'm sorry."
"Why are we going through this again? Have I ever made you feel like I was gonna leave you?"
"No." He shook his head, speaking quietly.
"You got issues within yourself. Don't take that out on me." I shook my head, looking out the window.
It got quiet and between the two of us, no one spoke.
"I don't think we're gonna work Kamiri." I shook my head.
"Vadah what?" He looked over at me and shook his head. "Tell me you did not just say that."
"I did." I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded my head.
"Brah you do this shit everytime. Every fucking time."
"Do what?" I jerked my neck back in confusion.
"You just give up. You don't even try to fight for us." He stressed.
"Kamiri I could've lost my life. My sister, could've lost her life. If anything, IM always the one fighting for us. And honestly, a bitch tired of fighting." I shrugged.
"I—" He shook his head and closed his mouth. He never knew how to express himself.
"You talking bout me but you can barely form a sentence." I scoffed.
He stayed quiet.
I decided to help him out a little. "Why'd you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Why'd you break up with me Kamiri? Why'd you ignore me? I need answers. Real answers."
He shrugged. "I just started to doubt myself. I'd been doubting myself for a while. I always felt like you was too good for me. Like you deserved better."
"So be better for me, the fuck?!"
"Stop fucking cutting me off cuh." He side-eyed me.
"The more I hung around you, I started to have doubts about us. About if we'd last and all tha—"
"So why would you ask me to be your girl if that's how you felt? Why jump into something if you weren't ready?" I scrunched my face up. I didn't mean to keep cutting him off but he was making me mad.
"Cause I wanted to be with you." He spoke making me scoff and shake my head.
"You could've had me without all that. We could've worked together to get to a better place in out relationship. Now you caused all this havoc when this could've been solved easily."
"Now I don't know if I wanna be with you at all." I shrugged, speaking honestly.
"Don't say that." He shook his head.
"I'm serious."
"Don't say that shit Vadah."
"And why the fuck not?!"
"Cause I—" He started to speak but he stopped himself. And that did nothing for me but frustrate me further, causing me to snap.
"What the fuck is the problem Kamiri? Huh?" I sat up in my seat and looked over at him. "Why the fuck is it so hard for you to open up to me? I'm not gonna fuckin leave you! Why can't you just express yourself? Stop shutting me out, because I'm tryna be he—"
"Cause I'm scared Vadah!" He yelled, cutting me off.
whew im so dramatic.
I just want you hear me when I pull up, skrrt
Have a conversation, don't wanna see you hurt
The common Roddy Ricch song, RICCHVIBES played lowly throughout the car.
"What are you so afraid of?" My tone was softer.
"I just like you a lot P." He finally spoke up making me look over at him. I was trying to be mad but I couldn't help the blush that crept up on my cheeks.
"Ian never liked nobody how I like you. You met my folks. Ain't no bitch ever met my peoples man."
"Not a bitch." I held up my pointer finger.
"You right. My fault." He nodded. "You just different, on crip."
"Different how?" I squinted my eyes.
"Ion know man. I like you even when I'm sober."
"Bye." I tried to hold in my laugh making him laugh with me.
"I'm serious girl." He chuckled a lil. "Everything different witchu. I find myself doing things I wouldn't usually do. Like when you call me, I smile. I love when you ask me if I ate or not. You so thoughtful. When I think about you, I low-key be blushing. My dick get hard too. Like I could just hear yo voice and my shit b—"
"Boy." I pushed his arm, blushing hard as ever.
See I gotta tell my feelings, gotta tell the truth.
"I just feel myself getting attached to you. Ion like it but at the same time, I love the feeling. I just love being round you period. I hate not talking to you. You just got that affect on me."
awh how cute.
i had a hood nigga pouring his heart out.
"And.. ian know how to go about my feelings. So I cut you off to make things simpler. But as you can see, that ain't do nothing but make things worse." He pursed his lips and nodded.
"I'm always fucking up. I be fucking up with you. With my family, with my life. I'm a fuck up and that's not something I want you to be apart of."
"You special. In both ways." He joked making me roll my eyes playfully.
"You aggy."
"Ion wanna bring you down. Slow you down."
"You're not gonna slow me down. And although you may go about things the wrong way, you aren't a fuck up. You just have to be wiser with your decisions. You hinder the people around you with the way you think." I nodded.
It got quiet but that was only for me to process my words.
"Remember when you asked me if you were a bad person?" I asked making him nod.
"And remember when I told you that I didn't think you were bad at all?" He nodded once again.
"I meant that shit Kamiri. I think you're pretty fucking amazing but the only way other people will see that, is if you see it for yourself. You gotta see for yourself that you're capable of being the man I know you can be. That you know you can be. The man for me."
He looked up from his thumbs and over at me. We were making direct eye contact and it never occurred to me that he still made me so damn nervous.
"I wanna fuck now." He licked his lips making me bust out laughing.
"Shutup, I'm not done talking." I chuckled.
"You said you think I deserve better and I honestly didn't appreciate that. Who's better for me than you?"
I saw him blush at my words.
"Nobody." I answered for him smirking a little. "Cause you that nigga. The only nigga for me."
"Peanut shutup." He was blushing hard.
"I'm serious. Now repeat it." I spoke making him laugh.
"Girl what? N—"
"Repeat it boy." I spoke firmly. "Who's better for me than you?"
"Nobody." He mumbled.
"What? I can't hear you." I got in his face.
"Nobody." He spoke a little louder, red in the face.
"Why not?"
"Cause I'm that nigga."
"The only nigga for who?" I licked my lips making his eyes quickly snap to them.
"For you." He was looking down at them, going right back to mumbling his words.
We stared at eachother for a while, just making direct eye contact.
Now this shit usually made me nervous but now it was just making my Spidey senses tingle.
"Give me a kiss."
"Girl bye. You just said you'on know if you wanna be with me. Now you want a nigga to kiss you and shit." He mushed my head making me mug him.
"Boy please, you mine. Whatever I want I get it, whenever I want."
"That's what typa time you on?" He raised his eyebrow with a small smirk plastered on his face.
"Mhm." I sassed making him nod and chuckle.
"I feel it. On crip." He nodded before pecking my lips a couple of times.
"So we gone do this over?" He asked.
"We are." I nodded. "The right way."
"Bet." He smirked just as soon as my stomach growled. "You hungry?"
"Very much so."
"Only thing open right now that I know of is McDonald's." The a/c was blowing hard so he turned it down a bit and started to pull out the parking space.
"That's cool. I could use a egg Mcgriddle right now. And a Cinnabon." I nodded as he drove with his right hand on my thigh.
I just watched him from the side, as he drove with a look of concentration on his face.
I won't say we've been through a lot cause that'd be a reach. But we have been through some things together.
After everything went down, I was really contemplating ending things completely with Kamiri.
but maybe this was our fresh start.
________________
imma say this one time & one time only lol
PLEASE DO NOT (and i cannot stress this enough) COME IN MY COMMENTS WITH ALL THE TECHNICALITIES! THAT SHIT GET YOU MUTED OF BACKS G!
lmaooo it's ah fictional boooookkk!!!! MY fictional book, stop taking things so seriously the shit's annoying.
anywaysss, y'all like new vadah? i don't. i want my crybaby back. 😢
i honestly don't know how many chapters this book is gonna have. 😠
VOTE + mfn comment ian gone say it nomo. 😐
thanks for reading. 💕
_slimsantana.🎲