The uneasiness that Claire felt before telling Bucky about her and Wanda dating subsided as their afternoon together progressed. Much to Claire's delight, Bucky and Wanda were getting along well, spending the afternoon laughing at various stories of Claire doing something stupid (and in case you didn't know, there were a lot of those). Bucky's roar of laughter pulled Claire out of her thoughts and back into the conversation of Wanda telling a story on how Claire shifted into her wolf during a fight one time and ended up chasing her tail.
"Did you really do that Claire?" Bucky laughed, slapping his knee. Claire rolled her eyes but gave a small amused smile.
"Yeah, but in my defense, the fight was over." Bucky laughed harder and fell over now lying on the floor of the hut.
"You really haven't changed a bit you know that Claire Bear?" Bucky said sitting up and coughing a bit as he tried to stop laughing. Claire rolled her eyes again as Wanda leaned over bumping her arm with her elbow.
"So, now that you two are here, I wanted to take the time to apologize for what happened in Germany," Bucky said, suddenly turning serious. Wanda frowned and looked down at her lap, her left hand reaching up to touch the still visible scar that ran around her neck. Claire grabbed her right hand, squeezing a bit, but kept her eyes on Bucky.
"You don't have to apologize, Buck. It's not your fault we were arrested."
Bucky shook his head and said, "But it is. Claire, I shouldn't have brought you in with me and I'm sorry you took the fall for me. And Wanda..." Wanda lifted her tear stained eyes to meet his. "I'm sorry I couldn't have done more to protect you."
Wanda inhaled a shaky breath, but the air was stale and heavy and not matter how hard she tried to breath, there wasn't enough entering her body. Her lungs screamed at her in panic as the air in the hut suffocated her from the inside. She stood up from the floor, mumbling an excuse me, and ran out of the hut, down a small man-made path in the grass.
After walking—or rather running—down the small path, Wanda came across a large tree standing in the center of a circle of flower bushes that surrounded the tree completely except for a little space that acted as an entrance. On the grass inside the circle and in front of the tree sat little pottery dishes with candles of various lengths, sitting in dried melted pools of their own wax, implying that they have been lit many times. A small multi-colored woven rug like the one in the hut laid on grass towards the entrance of the little sanctuary. Looking up, Wanda saw a bunch of scattered paper lanterns hung on the low hanging branches. The whole setup looked rather peaceful and Wanda's accelerating heart calmed as the soft wind blew against hidden sets of windchimes, creating a harmonious sense of ease.
Wanda sat down on the rug, tucking her legs under her, and stared at the large tree, studying it. In the center was a large cutout of a hole, and inside were more smaller candles and a book of matches. Wanda took deep breaths as she though back to Bucky's apology and the resurfacing of the suppressed memories of her time in the Raft. Her left hand flew up to her neck, feeling the divot of the scar where the collar cut into her skin, her fingers wrapping around her neck, following the scar. Tears stung her eyes and she shook as a phantom shock flowed through her, frying her nerves. She couldn't move her arms and the hand around her neck tightened as she began to cut off the air. She could still hear Ross's voice, questioning her for information, threatening to fry every nerve in her body unless she told him where Steve and Bucky went.
She gasped as the skin on her side below her ribs ached as she remembered the tough combat boots of the guards kicking her as they beat her when she didn't give them the information that they were looking for or when they were bored and wanted something to do. The aches kept coming, her grip getting tighter, and the tears kept streaming down her face as her free hand stayed frozen in her lap, the invisible straitjacket preventing her from defending herself.
Her loud sobs came out forced in painful sputters as she choked by her own hand, but no matter how hard she fought, she couldn't move either of her hands. The thump of her pulse beneath her hand became erratic, pounding hard and fast against her skin. Her body trembled vigorously. She couldn't see her surroundings as the tears clouded her vision, but she could've sworn she saw the towering figure of Ross looking down at her. Despite the sound of her own choking breaths, she heard him speak to her, again threatening her. The phantom shock increased in voltage, releasing a painful choked scream as it coursed through her body. A cry shouted at her in the distance, but she couldn't hear it, only focusing on the invisible pain.
A dull continuous ache formed in her head caused by the lack of oxygen. In addition to the extra pain that she felt, her mind became clouded and light, almost weightless. As her already strong grip on her throat became stronger and tighter, black spots appeared in her teary vision. Her shallow and shaky breaths became lessened until she wasn't breathing as much as she should have been. Her body swayed a bit, her hands staying where they had been. The voice in the distance grew louder and sounded closer. Wanda fell back on the grass, her still clouded vision staring up into the branches of the tree in front of her, her left hand still around her neck and her right hand still frozen in her lap. Her eyes blinked rapidly as she fought to keep them open, ultimately losing the battle and falling unconscious as she continued to asphyxiate herself.
Claire rushed down the path following after Wanda, soon reaching the small grove and fell at Wanda's side. Panic and fear exploded in her as she sat beside Wanda's unconscious body with her hand still grasping her neck tightly. Claire reached out to grab her hand and wrestled it away from her neck, freeing her from herself and allowing oxygen to once again flow properly in her. After a few moments of her not moving, Claire started to cry as she stared to fear the worst. What if I'm too late? How long had she been here like this? I can't lose her; not now. It's all my fault. Claire stroked her hair, pulling the strands away from her face as the tears fell, her heart breaking.
Wanda needed a help, a doctor or somebody, and Claire knew she had to take her to get help, but she couldn't trust her strength. Not now, not with Wanda like this. Bucky ran into the grove a couple minutes after Claire arrived, looking pained and worried. He knelt down on the other side of Wanda, looking between her face and Claire's. Claire held onto Wanda's left hand, holding it close to her chest, her heart thumping against the walls of her chest almost as if it tried to reach her hand. Bucky leaned his head down, resting his ear against her chest.
"She's still alive," he said after a minute, picking his head back up and looking at Claire, her purple eyes turning red. "We should get her to somewhere safe and find help."
Claire knew he was right, but she couldn't find the strength to pull away from her. She heard him, but she couldn't move her eyes away from Wanda, afraid that she'll slip away; crumble to dust and blow away in the wind if she took her attention off her for a few seconds. And in her defense, Wanda passed out when she wasn't looking, so who's to say she wouldn't disappear if she let her out of her sight again?
"Claire!" Bucky yelled, snapping her out of her trance, her eyes moving towards him, tears still welling up in her now red eyes. Two visible wet streaks trailed down from her eyes all the way to her chin. Bucky moved to stand, anchoring his feet into the grass beneath him, preparing to help move Wanda. "We need to move her. She needs help." Claire nodded and grabbed her arm, carefully hoisting her up as she stood from the ground, Bucky's arm grabbing her other side, helping to steady her.
Claire let go, once making sure that Bucky had her, and shifted into her giant wolf. She knelt back down in the grass, lowing herself so Bucky could help lift her onto Claire's back. Once she was on and wouldn't fall if he let go, he hoisted himself up and pulled Wanda into him, securing them to Claire. She took off, running quickly back to the palace, though she kept a watchful eye on the two, afraid that she or Bucky (or both would fall off).
A loud alert blared through the city as Claire's giant black wolf ran through the streets towards the palace. Racing out as they arrived, Steve and Sam stood T'Challa and his guards, the young king looking in shock and worry at seeing the large wolf again. Claire skidded to stop and Bucky jumped off, pulling Wanda down to him once he was back on the ground with Claire shifting back soon after, grabbing Wanda and lifting her up and holding her bridal style. Steve and Sam ran forward, trying to take Wanda from Claire who only hissed that she had it covered. Walking forward, Claire stopped when she stood directly in front of T'Challa, her eyes holding pain and asking for mercy.
"Please, she needs help."
T'Challa nodded at her and turned to his guards, barking orders in a language unknown to Claire. He turned back to her and gestured to follow him, running back inside the palace leading them to the infirmary. Upon their arrival, a male nurse approached Claire and took Wanda from her arms and walked away, placing her in a bed in a room. Claire growled as her wolf started to emerge, surging with protectiveness of Wanda. She tried to follow, but Steve came from behind her and grabbed her waist, pulling her towards his chest. Claire growled louder and screamed at him to let her go, tears forming in her eyes as she became hysterical. She flailed her arms and legs as she tried to escape Steve's hold on her, even going so far as to hit him, hoping he'd drop her.
A nurse sped over to them, holding a small bottle and a needle and looked at Steve apologetically. He sighed and nodded, felling his grip on her loosen as she bucked and thrashed in his hold. The nurse injected the needle into the bottle and after second, pulled it out, and walked closer to Steve and Claire. She then pricked Claire's skin, injecting the contents of the bottle—a sedative—into Claire's body. Within a few short moments, Claire's moving and thrashing slowed as the medicine started taking affect. Her eyelids grew heavy and her body felt like it was being weighed down. She heard her wolf growl angrily when she realized what was happening, but Claire was too tired to fight against it. She went limp in Captain America's arms, his hold tightening as all her weight fell upon him, though he barely noticed.
Steve picked her up, his left hand under the back of her neck and his right under her legs where her knees bent, and carried her over to a small couch against the wall where they came in. Sam and Bucky followed behind him, looking on in sadness. Bucky sat beside her when Steve put her on the couch and he sat on the other end of her. Bucky looked down at her sleeping face, the peace being a sharp contrast to the turmoil and misery she had just exhibit minutes ago. Bucky readjusted her head to lay in his lap rather than the surface of the couch and played with her long red hair. Sam stood with his back pressed against the wall, his arms folded over his chest. Steve removed her shoes from her feet, and leaned back in his seat, running a hand down his face.
"What happened?" he asked, directing the question to Bucky, though his eyes stared straight ahead. Sam turned his head, looking at Bucky as he waited for him to answer. Bucky sighed and removed his hand from Claire's hair, rubbing his beard.
"I don't know," he mumbled. Sam scoffed and pushed off the wall.
"You come running back here with one girl passed out and the other damn near in hysterics. You're gonna have to do better than I don't know," Sam said, his eyes hard and his voice stern and aggravated. Much like he was with most of the Avengers, Sam was very protective of Wanda and was very close with her, the same being said for Claire, though he admitted he wasn't as close to her as he was with Wanda since they were still getting to know each other. Wanda was like a little sister to him and he cared deeply about her and her well-being, even going so far as to say that he loved her like family, as well as the rest of the team.
Bucky ran his hand through his hair, gripping a fistful tightly, groaning in frustration.
"It's my fault," he whispers more to himself. Steve turns to look at him and Sam shifted his weight, not satisfied with Bucky's answer.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"We were talking and just...laughing, and I wanted to apologize for what happened in Germany, and next thing I know, Wanda ran out acting weird. When we found her, she was laying on the ground, unconscious with her hand grasping her neck." Steve rubbed his face and looked down at Claire, hoping—praying—that Wanda was okay. Sam sighed and leaned against the wall again, feeling the small prick of tears form in his eyes. He sniffled once, regaining is composure and blinked the tears away.
"She's gonna be okay though, right?" he asked, looking down at Claire's sleeping face.
"They only gave her a mild sedative. She should be awake in a few hours."
The hours ticked by, and neither of them heard anything about Wanda. It worried them that no one had a clear understand on what happened to her except Wanda, who was lying unconscious a couple rooms down. Claire stirred next to Steve and Bucky, opening her purple eyes hissing a bit as her eyes met the glaring blinding light of the white lights and white walls and floors.
"Jesus Christ," she muttered, sitting up and covering her eyes. She blinked and opened her eyes, allowing herself to adjust to the blinding light and took in her surroundings. Seeing Bucky sitting next to her, she turned towards him, her face scrunched up as she kept her eyes narrowed to help keep light out. "Where am I?"
Bucky reached out and smoothed some of her hair down that was sticking up from when she was sleeping and offered her a small smile, hoping that she would be calm the second time around. He saw Steve move to sit up, readying himself in case he needed to grab her again. Sam, who had moved to sit on the floor, stood up, but made no move forward. He looked at Claire, eyes filled with caution, not wanting to tangle with her angry self or her wolf.
"Claire," Bucky breathed out. "You're in the infirmary."
"Why?" Claire asked confused. Bucky bit his lip; he had to find the right way to word this, otherwise Claire might panic and become hysterical again.
"Wanda...had a little accident this afternoon." Bucky braced himself for Claire's reaction, but when it never came, he became worried. Claire looked down.
"Is she okay?" she asked, her voice low. Before Bucky could answer, a doctor strolled down the hall, walking towards the small group of heroes. He stopped in front of them and clasped his hands in front of him before he spoke.
"Your friend will be fine; she just needed to get some oxygen into her lungs."
Steve stood from his seat and stepped closer to the doctor.
"Can you tell us exactly what happened to her?" The doctor cleared his throat as he looked around at the other three.
"Not exactly. We're still trying to figure out what happened to cause her to accidentally asphyxiate herself—"
"'Accidentally asphyxiate herself'? What does that mean?" Claire asked, closing her eyes and bringing a hand up to cradle her head, wincing at the headache that started to form. The doctor looked over at her, pulled out a bottle of Advil, and placed a small pill in her hand before answering her.
"Accidental asphyxiation: meaning she choked herself without intent to harm or kill herself, at least that's what we believe happened. Upon inspection, we found that her neck was a deep red with small cuts a couple inches apart, hinting that someone applied force, but because of the color and lack of bruising and size of the cuts, it suggests that this was self-imposed. What we don't know is what drove her to this. Does she have any history of mental illness?"
"Yeah, she has depression, anxiety and suffers from PTSD," Claire said, getting worried. She knew Wanda was depressed, and would have episodes, but she wasn't suicidal. The doctor nodded and took out a notepad and scribbled down the information.
"Has she ever exhibited any suicidal thoughts or actions?"
"Yes," Steve said before Claire could answer. He felt Claire's eyes staring at him and turning slightly to face her, he continued. "After Sokovia, she refused to take care of herself. She fell deep into her depression and just stopped caring. She wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat and if she did it was only a little bit. She wanted to die. She felt guilty for surviving, and she wanted to be with her brother again."
Claire closed her eyes, a small tear falling down. Wanda never told her and she had no idea, and she felt stupid for not knowing. The doctor scribbled again.
"Is she on any medication for any of the things you said?" Steve shrugged.
"I'm not sure. We never put her on anything because shortly after Sokovia, she moved in with a friend and she was doing much better. I'm not sure if Jemma had her put on medication." Claire opened her eyes, thinking back to whenever she was with Wanda. She knew she was on medication for her anxiety and her depression, but she couldn't remember what it was. She was almost certain that it was the same medication, since she started taking it to help with her anxiety but found that it helped with her depression too. She thought hard, racking her brain to figure out what it was.
"She was on something," Claire said, gaining the attention of Steve and the doctor. "I can't remember what it is, though." The doctor nodded.
"That's fine, I can call a colleague of mine to check her pharmaceutical records."
"Wait," Claire said as the doctor again scribbled in his notebook. "The medication isn't in her name. Jemma had them prescribed under her name since they never took Wanda seriously because of her age." This was a lie of course, but she couldn't exactly tell him that Jemma did it to protect Wanda's identity; she was sure that was a crime, regardless of the reason. The doctor nodded and gave her a wink and a smile.
"Please, the fugitive Avengers are in my country and we've been harboring a criminal. I'm sure I can be discreet." Claire smiled as he put his notebook away.
"Can we see her?" she asked him before he left.
"She's still sleeping, so I can only let in one person at a time. Once she's awake and talking, more can come in." Claire turned to face Steve, Sam, and Bucky, silently asking who goes first.
"Why don't you go, Claire? We'll wait." Claire looked over at Bucky, making sure it was okay, but followed the doctor before anyone could object. He led her down the hall to Wanda's room and held the door open for her.
"Press the button on the wall if something happens," he told her as he left.
"Thank you."
Walking further into the room, Claire wasn't prepared to see her girlfriend lying there, a tube in her nose and an I.V. in her wrist and other wires connecting her to various machines. Claire fought hard against the newly forming tears as her eyes traveled across her still body, landing on her bright red neck with tiny cuts, just as the doctor said. The dull monotonous beeping of a machine on her left was the only sound in the room. Claire watched the machine; a green line moving forward straight, then spiking and dipping, and finally leveling out again, repeating on a loop for as long as Wanda remained alive. Her entire life downplayed to a little green line that refused to move straight.
Claire had to laugh at the irony of it; that the line that represented her girlfriend's life moved in any other way besides straight, and maybe if this were a different circumstance she might've laughed, but instead, she prayed that that line kept spiking and dipping forever.
She moved further into the room, taking a seat in a chair beside her bed, her shaking hands instinctively finding Wanda's and grasped it tight. Claire tried to swallow the lump that formed in her throat, but it disobeyed her, remaining there, goading her to release her tears to be free of it. And she listened; leaning her head down onto hers and Wanda's hand, crying softly as she worried about the girl she loved.
She never told Wanda that she loved her, knowing that that would definitely move things too fast, but every moment they spent together cause her to fall for the Scarlet Witch more than she already was. If she could spare to be honest, she might admit that she fell in love with Wanda back in Sokovia all those years ago when they were both Strucker's pets, but in this regard, she was less inclined to be honest, and settled for thinking she fell in love with the Witch after their escape from the Raft.
Despite Wanda's affection for her, she remained terrified of scaring the brunette away, and had therefore settled for altering the timeline of her feelings. Wanda meant the world to her; representing the purity and innocence that was stolen from her. The anger and jealousy that she had once felt towards her and her brother for volunteering for Strucker's experiments long evaporated and she was glad that they were there to keep some sort of company. She was grateful that for once in her life the fates had lined up in her favor and delivered this beautiful temptress back to her, though as she watched Wanda lay still in the infirmary bed, hooked up to different machines that made sure she was kept alive, Claire couldn't help but the anger that burned in her chest, radiating throughout her body. The fates haven't lined up in her favor; once again they were stacked against her in another cruel joke to mess with her happiness. An old and cruel game of "what can you do to keep her coming back for more and how long will it take before she snaps". Well, Claire was very close to snapping; dangerously close.
She remained by Wanda's side for a few hours, drifting in and out of uncomfortable sleep. The monotonous beeping of the machine turned into some strange rhythm, drawing her eyes back towards the spiking line. Her hand laid still on top of Wanda's and her head sat against the scratchy blankets of the hospital bed. Her eyes fluttered as she started to fall back to sleep. She was exhausted, but she wanted to stay awake in case Wanda woke up.
Wanda's chest rose and fell in a steady pattern, her breathing normal and not erratic like it was at the grove. She remained still, the only movement coming from her chest. Claire lifted her head up and pulled the chair closer to the bed and leaned her face closer towards her. She gazed at the small details on her face that she never noticed before like how there was almost no color in her cheeks from the lack of oxygen and how her skin was a sickly gray and the skin around her eyes was slight purple shade, making it look like she had black eyes. The only color in her skin was the glaring redness of her neck. Her arms were restrained in brown leather straps to keep her from grasping at her neck again. Claire stood up from the chair and leaned down, pressing a long soft kiss against Wanda's forehead, a few tears dripping down onto her as she pulled away. She sniffled as she started to cry and ran the pad of her thumb lightly across Wanda's soft skin.
"I'm here, baby," she murmured more so to herself than to Wanda as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm here. Please...please come back to me."
Claire spent the next two hours mindlessly talking to Wanda, saying pretty much anything that came to her mind so that she wasn't sitting in silence. She talked more about her life with Bucky and all the stupid shit they found themselves getting into before the mess in Romania. She talked about what little she could remember of her family and how Bucky is really her only family left (her family died during Ultron's attack on Sokovia). She talked about how she was glad that Wanda was back in her life again and how much she meant to her as a person and friend, and how her life got infinitely better once she came into it.
She wanted to tell Wanda that she loved her and had loved her for years but decided against it. While she carried these feelings with her for years, Wanda only started reciprocating them very recently. She didn't want to jeopardize their relationship before it even really started.
She continued talking, filling the silence with one-way conversations and stories, unaware of Wanda's changing condition. Though her eyes remained closed, her eyes started to move, darting back and forth. Her fingers twitched slightly, grasping the sheets and Claire's hand. Claire gasped, the tears returning and tightened her grip on Wanda's hand. She sat up straight and moved her free hand to Wanda's shoulder.
"Wanda? Wanda, I'm here. I'm here. Please wake up."
Wanda's eyes slowly opened, revealing the majestic green pools that Claire loved, but she shut them fast as the light in the room blinded her. She let out a groan, opening her eyes again, and looked over to her left, looking at Claire. She blinked a few times, willing the image of her girlfriend to come more into focus.
"Claire?" her dry voice squeaked out, cracking as she called her name. She winced as her vocal cords ached at being used. Claire sat up from the chair and moved to sit on the side of her bed.
"Hey, it's okay. You're gonna be a little sore for a bit, but you're fine." Wanda sighed and leaned her head back against the pillows. She tried to relax, but her heart rate sped up once again as she flexed her arm but couldn't move. She started to panic as she remembered the feeling of the straitjacket restricting her movement. Her eyes were wide and she shook in her bed as she pulled at the restraints, trying to free herself. Claire reached out, grabbing both of her hands and firmly pressed down, pressing them into the bed to stop her.
"Hey, Wanda...Wanda it's okay, it's okay. Calm down, it's okay, you're safe. You're safe."
"Why can't I move?"
"They're there to keep you from hurting yourself," Claire said, sniffling a little at the thought of Wanda hurt. As Wanda calmed down and stopped thrashing, Claire let her grip on her hands go and she sat back down, rubbing her nose and wiping her eyes.
"Claire, what happened? Why am I here?" Wanda asked, an ounce of fear in her voice.
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"I...I'm not sure. I remember sitting with Bucky, and then I was outside...I don't remember much after that." Wanda lifted her eyes to meet Claire's purple eyes that were stained red from her tears. More tears filled her eyes, streaming down her face. "What happened?"
"I don't know, Wanda. We heard a scream and when I found you, you were lying on the ground, unconscious with her hand wrapped tightly around your neck. Why would you do that?"
Wanda thought hard, trying to remember what brought her to her unfortunate accident. She remembered being with Bucky and Claire, she remembered going outside, she remembered the tree surrounded by flowers and candles and paper lanterns. Then it hit her like a truck; the shock collar, the straitjacket, Ross; all of it. She remembered it all. Her hand twitched, searching for Claire's hand as she became frightened.
"I remember," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
"What do you remember?" Claire asked, taking her restrained hand into hers, calming Wanda down.
"I remember, sitting in the little grove. I was touching my scar and I felt...a shock, like from the collar. I felt everything, the shock of the collar, the straitjacket, the aches and pains as the guards beat me. I saw Ross and heard his voice threaten to fry every single one of my nerves unless I gave him what he wanted." Wanda was back in tears. "I was back in the Raft, Claire."
"Listen to me, Wanda. You are not back in that place. I will never let you go back there, okay? I'll fight anyone that tries to put you back there, even that asshat Ross. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again. Do you hear me?" Claire said, looking straight into Wanda's eyes, anger and seriousness and worry filling them. Wanda nodded, her eyes not leaving Claire's.
"I hear you."
"Good," Claire said as she pressed her lips to Wanda's kissing her for the first time since they've been here. Wanda melted into the kiss, but pulled away after a minute, blushing.
"Claire," Wanda playfully scolded, pushing Claire away from her, lowering her voice. "What if someone sees?" Claire smiled and leaned back in, connecting her lips with Wanda's again.
"If I'm being honest," she said as she pulled away, breaking the kiss. "I don't really care if anyone sees us."
"What if they don't approve?"
"Who cares if they don't approve? The only person whose approval I'm looking for is yours. And if the team doesn't like us together, then we can leave; move back to Victoria's Island and live in a small wood cabin, just the two of us. Ignoring all the world's problems. Enjoying each other and being happy. What do you say?" Claire asked with hopeful eyes. Wanda smiled and nodded her head, biting her bottom lip. Claire smirked, pecking Wanda on the lips. "Oh, and can you do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Don't bite your lip like that."