The whole ride back to the compound was spent in an uncomfortable silence. Natasha sat up in the pilot's seat while Steve and Sam sat in the back together. Wanda sat alone, curled up in the corner, silently crying at the destruction she had caused. It was her fault; her fault that so many people died. She was a monster.
No one had the words to comfort her. It was like Ultron all over again, and that pained Steve. Over the past year, he had taken Wanda under his wing and kind of adopted her as a little sister, and he hated to see her upset. He rose from his seat next to Sam and made his way to the back of the Quinjet, sitting beside Wanda. He didn't speak as he placed an arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Wanda in turn, wrapped her arms around Steve's torso and cried into his uniform. Neither of them said anything, he just let Wanda cry on his shoulder as he looked straight ahead, occasionally glancing at Sam to see him staring at them with sadness in his eyes.
Sam didn't know Wanda that well since she didn't live in the compound anymore, but he also hated seeing her upset. He turned his head away from the two of them and stood, walking towards the front of the jet, sitting in the co-pilot's seat.
"How much longer?" he asked Natasha in a quiet voice that was unlike him.
"Not much. Maybe another two hours," the redhead said, her voice void of any expression. Her gaze was focused straight ahead of them, staring into the open sky.
"I can't take this...this quiet...it's too much," Sam said after another minute of silence. Natasha glanced at him; eyebrow raised in question.
"What do you want to talk about, Wilson?" she asked as she moved her eyes back to the sky. Sam shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know, but I can't take it back there. It's too quiet and I hate the sound of the kid crying." Natasha tensed at the mention of Wanda crying. She felt herself grow angry at Sam's words.
"You do realize that she's deeply hurt, right? That she single handedly caused the deaths of all those people? I think she has a right to cry," Natasha said, keeping her voice quiet but harsh. She didn't want Wanda to hear them talking about her, though she was sure she already knew.
"I didn't mean it like that," Sam said putting up his hands in defense. "I get that she's upset and I feel for her. I only meant that...," he paused. "I don't know what I meant."
"I get it," Natasha said sighing in defeat. "It was like this after Ultron, you know. The same silence, the same crying. It was heartbreaking. No one knew what to do or what to say, and I think that hurts the most; seeing someone in so much emotional pain, and not being able to do anything about it."
○○○
Jemma paced around the living room of the apartment, feeling the familiar dread and anxiety creep up on her. Her palms started sweating and she felt like she was about to break down and cry. The fear gnawed at her as she waited for her phone to ring and flash with Wanda's name and number. She was immediately brought back to Ultron and how she felt waiting for Lily's call that never came, and the uneasiness took hold of her, almost prompting her to call Wanda just so she could hear her voice telling her everything was okay and that she was fine just so Jemma could stop worrying.
And that's what she did. She picked up her phone off the island and dialed Wanda's number and pressed the phone to her ear as she heard it ring. The worrying she felt only grew with each ring as she didn't pick up right away. Maybe she's in the middle of the mission. Maybe she's sleeping. Maybe she lost her phone. Or maybe she was hurt or dead. Jemma shook her head at the negative thoughts when she heard the sound of someone picking up.
"Hello? Wanda?" Jemma asked in a panic, feeling some relief.
"No, this is Steve. Jemma is that you?" Jemma froze. What is Steve doing with Wanda's phone? Is she okay?
"Steve? What's going on? Where's Wanda, is she okay? Please, God, tell me she's okay—" Jemma rambled as Steve cut her off.
"She's okay, Jemma, there was just a little issue with the mission, but I promise she's okay." Jemma relaxed at his words.
"Okay, can I talk to her?"
"Hold on," she could hear Steve talking in the background, probably to Wanda, but she frowned a bit when Steve came back on the line. "She's asleep right now, Jemma. I'll let her know you called and she'll call you back, I'll make sure of it. I'll talk to you later, Jemma. Bye."
"Bye," she said as she heard Steve hang up. Jemma stared at the floor in confusion; Why did Steve Rogers lie to me?
○○○
Hours had passed before Jemma heard the familiar sound of a key in the lock. She stood up from her seat on the loveseat and Jemma watched as Wanda's familiar brown hair entered the apartment. Griffon ran out from the bedroom and ran over to Wanda, rubbing his face against her legs meowing. She bent down to pet him gently before looking over at Jemma who was standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her body.
"I'm sorry I didn't call," Wanda said quietly as she started to walk past Jemma to her room. Jemma reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her and causing her to look at Jemma.
"Where the hell have you been?" Jemma asked slowly, trying to not to scream at the girl. Wanda shifted uncomfortably and didn't meet Jemma's eyes.
"I...hung out at the compound for a little bit. I needed to decompress," Wanda said.
"And you didn't think to call and tell me?" Wanda didn't answer. "I was worried sick about you. I thought that something had happened to you. I thought that you were dead. I thought I lost you like I lost—" Jemma cut herself off as Wanda's face snapped to Jemma's. "I thought I lost you...like I lost Lily."
"I'm sorry," Wanda whispered as both her and Jemma felt the tears form in their eyes. Wanda brought the woman into her arms allowing the woman to cry into her neck. "I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I'm okay. I promise." After a few minutes, the two women pulled away and Wanda started towards her room again.
"What happened on the mission? Steve said there was an issue." Wanda paused in front of her door, her fingers grazing the doorknob. She visibly tensed as she thought back on what happened during the mission; the bomb, the building, the many people that she killed. "Wanda, are you okay?"
Wanda ignored Jemma and walked into her room and laid on her bed, face down, much like how she laid when Jemma visited her at the compound after Ultron's attack. Jemma followed, clearly seeing that something was bothering her young roommate. She entered the room and sat on her bed, gently taking her hand and rubbing the girl's back.
"Wanda, please talk to me. What happened?"
"You're going to hate me," Wanda said quietly as her Sokovian accent came through. She fought hard to keep from crying again, but her voice cracked and a few tears spilled from her eyes at the thought of Jemma hating her for what she had done. Jemma sighed and lifted the girl from her position and brought her into her lap and embraced her. She rested her chin on top of Wanda's brown hair and continued to rub her back, letting her cry. She placed a small kiss on Wanda's hair.
"Wanda, you know that I could never hate you. Now, please, tell me what happened." Wanda didn't speak, instead she grabbed the remote to her TV and turned the device on, automatically playing a news station. Jemma's attention followed to the screen.
"11 Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria, earlier today. The traditionally reclusive Wakandans were on an outreach mission in Lagos when the attack occurred." Wanda flipped to another news channel.
"They are operating outside and above the international law. Because that's the reality, if we don't respond to acts like these. What legal authority does an enhanced individual like Wanda Maximoff have to operate in Nigeri—" Jemma grabbed the remote and turned off the TV and turned to look at Wanda.
"It's my fault," she said sadly. "I killed all those people. I'm a monster."
"You're not a monster, Wanda. It was just an accident."
"They sure don't think it was an accident." Wanda didn't meet her eyes and just stared at the floor, allowing herself to wallow in self-pity.
"Did you mean to kill those people?" Jemma asked her with an eyebrow raised. Wanda sighed; of course, she didn't mean to kill those people, that didn't change the fact that she did.
"Of course, I didn't mean to kill them. But, Jemma, I still did. Whether I did it on purpose or not, they're still dead. I'm still a murderer." Jemma got up from the side of Wanda's bed and walked to the other side, laying down beside her. She laid on her back and stared up at the ceiling, not speaking.
The two women didn't speak for the rest of the evening. Jemma didn't know what else to say to Wanda, and Wanda was too wrapped up in her own head to even think of a conversation. Eventually, Jemma left to go to the kitchen to make dinner for the two of them, leaving Wanda to her thoughts. There weren't many moments when Wanda shut Jemma out anymore, but when she did, it was always difficult to bring her back out. Jemma stood outside Wanda's closed door, trying to bring herself to knock and let the young woman know that dinner was ready and that she should join her.
"Wanda? Wanda, dinner's ready. Why don't you come out and get something to eat?" The inside of the room was quiet, until Jemma heard the soft sound of someone moving around, and before long, Wanda walked out of her room and stepped closer to Jemma, hugging her. She buried her face in her chest and closed her eyes, relishing the hug. Jemma wrapped her arms around Wanda and patted her back, before the both of them pulled away and walked towards the kitchen and helped themselves to food.
Almost as if the foul mood didn't happen, the two women laughed and joked as they ate. Yes, Wanda was glad that she had Jemma Barnes in her life; the one person she had left that could pull her out of any bad mood that she was feeling.
"So, what did you do while I was out?" Wanda asked as she brought her fork up to her mouth, eating the piece of chicken that Jemma made while looking at her. Wanda was always curious about what Jemma did when she wasn't here, like it was some big secret. Jemma laughed as she too ate a piece of chicken.
"Why do you want to know? My life isn't nearly as interesting as yours," she countered as she got up to pour herself a glass of wine. She held out the bottle towards Wanda and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if she wanted some.
"You know I'm not old enough to drink," she said as she sipped her water, tilting her head at the older woman. Jemma smiled and put the bottle back in the fridge, walked back to her seat, and patted Wanda on the shoulder, causing her to laugh.
"Good. That's good. Remember, always say no. Alcohol is bad for you."
"But then why are you drinking it?" Wanda asked laughing.
"It's too late forme, besides, I said it's bad for you!" Jemma replied laughing also asshe took a sip of her wine, giving Wanda a side-eye.