That night I sat through the most uncomfortable dinner I ever had.
Part of the reason was the promise—was it even a promise?—with Master Tobias, and the other part was the fear and anticipation of asking Mister Kupka for a day off. For all four of us at once, no less.
"Mister Kupka," Beth began first, making Rhiannon shoot her a look. No doubt Rhiannon wanted to approach the subject, as she seemed the most skillful and would know how to persuade him, and had the best chance. After all, Beth and Clo were certainly not Mister Kupka's idea of an ideal maid. "I have something I want to talk to you about."
"Are you sure it can't wait after dinner?" He ate his roast beef nonchalantly. The dinners here were splendid. It was something I never had the chance to have because in orphanages and convents we usually only ate bread, potatoes, and beans. There was no meat, much less spices, and fresh vegetables were rare. I would've been enjoying my meal if not for the tension in the air.
"Well, it's something all of us want to talk to you about after dinner."
Mister Kupka placed his fork down and looked at him. "Who is this 'us' you speak of?"
"Shuyan, Rhiannon, Clo, and me."
"Oh?" Now he looked intrigued. "Go on, you don't have to wait."
We all turned and looked at each other, aware of the pressure on us now.
Beth swallowed and then smiled her charming smile, but before she could have a go at it, Clo spoke.
"We want to go to town, the market, to be precise." Mister Kupka turned to her now. The valets were all watching him too, just as on edge.
"The market? You mean Ravensborough's Monthly Market?"
"Yes, that!" Beth leaned forward, eyes shining. "I need to buy new lace, ribbons, and buttons!"
"You are a maid. You do not need so much unnecessary lace," Mister Kupka retorted, and then glanced at her dress. "In fact, I've been meaning to say this, but your outfit is quite inappropriate for a maid."
We all turned to look at her dress.
Today her dress was a dark blue, with her skirt puffy from the petticoat beneath it and reached just a few inches above her ankles—a dangerously unprofessional length, and her white apron was also hemmed with lace. There was also a satin ribbon in her short hair for no other purpose than decoration. To state it plainly: she was overdressed.
"It is?" Beth asked, wide-eyed. "I looked up books about maid uniforms before I came here and got the dullest dresses I could, before tailoring them to my length myself."
"And it's simply too short. Do any young women go out wearing skirts showing their legs like that?" Holden asked.
"It is in fact a bit, well, unique," Matheus said.
"I wear stockings underneath them," Beth whispered with a small shrug.
"So I have a proposal," Mister Kupka continued. "If I allow you to go to the market, would you change your ways of dressing? Say, wear a sensible uniform like Miss Rhiannon or Miss Shuyan?"
"What?" Clo shouted. "You already had me button up my uniform and everything, and all this poor girl is doing is showing her ankles, and with boots, too!"
"Actually, I don't mind the length all that much," Mister Kupka said. "Miss Bethany has bought the dresses, so I doubt we can do anything about that, but I do wish she could get a plainer apron and forget the hair ribbon." We were quiet, waiting for her reply.
"It's not that hard," Rhiannon finally said, and looked at Beth.
"What?" Clo had on her scary glare again.
"I mean, if we get to go to the market, we could wear anything we want. Wouldn't that be better? She can probably wear all the fancy dresses I saw in her trunk."
"Why were you peeking in my trunk?" Beth asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Last time someone forgot to put their trunk away. I kicked it open by accident and had to fold and rearrange everything inside." Rhiannon didn't even blink as she stated it.
"Oops." Beth laughed nervously. "Sorry about that."
"So what's the decision?" Mister Kupka asked.
We all looked at Beth. Her brows were creased and her lips pursed. I looked at her again. When I first saw her I had thought how she looked like a doll and her girly fashion suited her bright face and cheery attitude.
"It's fine," I whispered to her, feeling guilty for asking to visit Ravensborough. "I don't mind missing the market, really."
"No, I want to go to the market too," Beth grinned at me. "I want to shop with you and Clo—and even Rhiannon—and become closer to you all. We could be like sisters."
"That does sound nice," Clo said, surprising me. "I've only have younger siblings to take care of. I'd like some sisters my age to talk to."
"If you do go, I guess I'll come along," Rhiannon mumbled. Before I knew it, we were all smiling and whispering shyly. I guess deep inside, we didn't hate each other that much.
"So it's been decided?"
"Yes, Mister Kupka! What day can all four of us take a day off?" Beth was leaning forward and had her eyes shining again, like a child.
Mister Kupka sighed. "Sundays we have half-days, I suppose I can find a day to let you four take the day off." He turned to Otis.
"Otis, when is the market again?"
"The first of each month."
"Well, I want you girls to focus on work first, then you can go in two months, which is the first of October. In these two months you shall clean as much as you can."
"Yessir!" Beth and I said.
"Sure," Clo said, pretending to not care, but her eyes were sparkling like Beth. Only Rhiannon was as collected as ever.
"I'll try my best," she said. With that, we all went back to eating.
After dinner, we went to our rooms and undressed for the night. Only I didn't, pretending to have lost something.
"What is it? Do you need me to look for it with you?" Clo asked as she ran a brush through her curls. I loved her hair—one time she allowed me to touch it and I was surprised at how nice it felt. She said it used to be really dry and broke off easily, but then she started buying coconut oil and applying it to her hair.
"She's not a child. She can do it herself," said Rhiannon, who had just came out of the bath and was in her long white nightgown, her long hair wet and piled over one shoulder.
Clo turned to her.
"Look, I'm not trying to fight, so why are you so insistent on saying the opposite of whatever I say?"
"Because everything you say just happens to be the opposite of what I think." She took out a towel and dried her hair before the mirror we shared, not even sparing Clo a glance.
"Are you sure?" Beth said, unbuttoning her dress. She was taking a bath next. "I mean, the house is scary and we are the only girls. We should try and stick together."
"What did you lose anyway?" Rhiannon asked.
My mind hurried to come up with an answer. I didn't have anything like ribbons or fancy buttons—what should I say?
"Uh, nothing really, just a lucky charm from my orphanage."
At that, they became quiet. I felt really bad: they must've thought it was something personal. Truthfully, though, I didn't have anything like that.
"I hope you find it," Clo finally said. Then she turned around. "I'll bath with Beth while the water is still hot so when you come back it'll be warm, at least."
"Thank you," I said.
"No problem."
"I hope you find it too," Beth said to me, already in her undershirt and drawers. "And stay safe. Remember: stay away from the men of Beardsley, no matter what."
I nodded.
"Don't worry, I know."
When I left the room I smiled a dry smile to myself.
If only they knew.