I won't ever be perfect. It's something that I figured out long ago. Unfortunately...My mom still hasn't. Ever since middle school my mom has been forcing me into advance programs. Most of the time I barely manage to pass them but that doesn't matter to her.
In a way its sweet what she's been putting me through...in a weird, sickening way. She has her reasons though.
My mom had been born and raised in Amherst. She had married right out of high school and had me in her first few years of marriage. Sadly my father didn't stay for long. Around the age of 3 he just up and left and we haven't seen him since. She doesn't want that life for me.
So like I said what my mom was doing was pretty sweet. She wanted me to go somewhere with my life. Do something big. Be someone big. It didn't matter where or what as long as it wasn't in Amherst.
But I just wanted to live my life.
Sometimes all the pressure was just too much.
Like for instance this morning and how I had slept right through my alarm. I had stayed up late studying for a test in calculus and didn't fall asleep till around three which I barely got enough sleep to function. Yay me.
My mom came stomping in like an angry bull, face all red, eyes bulging out and I could have sworn that steam was coming out of her ears and nose as she ripped back my covers.
"Zoey Mae you get out of that bed this instance. Unless you are on your death bed you will be going to school." I groaned and pulled my covers back over my head. "Five minutes Zoey." My mom left my room slamming the door behind her. I groaned again and got up pausing to stretch my muscles.
I rushed into the bathroom to take a shower and then ran back out begging my eyes to focus on the number on my alarm clock.
6:45 Crap! I didn't have time for a shower today. Luckily I took one last night before doing my homework. I threw my blonde hair into a messy pony tail and lightly put on some black eye liner and mascara. I always liked that the black brought out my blue eyes but at the same time I hated my blue eyes.
Having blonde hair and blue eyes I generally got judged to be a dumb blonde. It was my biggest pet peeve. I'm positive that I'm smarter than most of the people at my school who aren't blonde and I'm not even being conceited.
I always thought that I would one day die my hair a different color and get colored contacts but as my mom pointed out I had a color that people would kill for and it's not worth giving up.
I walked to my closet and picked out a gray button down shirt with three quarter length sleeves and a pair of dark jeans. I quickly put on my converse then grabbed my backpack from where it laid by the end of my bed. I risked a glance at my clock. Bad move. It was now five minutes after seven and I had zero hour in twenty minutes.
I made my way down stairs towards the front door only stopping in the kitchen to grab an apple.
When I got to the front door I shouted a goodbye to my mom and headed off to school. I only lived a few blocks away from school so it was good walking distance and I got there in record time.
Amherst High School had to be the most boring school on the planet. It was basically one big two story square building. Being made of gray concrete didn't help either. Amherst High School in big black letters was spread out across the front of the school. Under the name was a depiction of a wolf trying to be foreboding. To say it failed miserably would be an understatement.
I ran up the stairs leading to the school and pushed open the doors. I expected to hear the busy chatter of students making their way to zero hour but instead there were only a few students hear and there talking amongst themselves.
I looked up at a clock over the lockers and my mouth opened in shock. The clock said that it was just now seven o'clock. I shook my head. The stupid thing must be running behind.
I decided that now would be a good time to eat my apple but sit it out after the first bite. It was rotten. Just my luck.
I stomped over to a garbage can and chucked it in.
I glanced around the hallway again and there still weren't very many students. I asked a few girls walking down the hallway what time it was and had to stop myself from banging my head against my locker when they told me it was a little after seven.
My mother had changed my alarm clock again. There was one day early in the beginning of the semester where I was late to school and ever since then my mom would periodically change the time on my alarm clock if she though I was cutting it too close.
I opened my locker and took books out of my backpack that I didn't need and took the ones from my locker that I did need. By the time I was done I had put more books into my backpack then I had taken out plus I was carrying a few that wouldn't fit in my backpack.
I could feel the familiar ache forming in my shoulders and lower back. If I got serious damage from this then I was defiantly suing. Whether it be the school board or my mom was still undecided.
Right as I was passing the door that led to the office it swung open and slammed right into me. I toppled over backwards and landed with an "Oaf" on the ground. My books had flown from my hands to the other side of the school hallway and my backpack hung with bruising force from my upper arms.
"Oh Miss Huntington I didn't see you there." I looked up to see Mr. Sullivan our principal standing over me looking flustered. He was a shorter man and what he lacked in height he made up in girth. His straw colored hair was already thinning and his brown eyes always seemed to be watering. He fidgeted with his stubby hands for a minute before turning to the person standing the next to him.
"Zane help Miss Huntington up will you?" I resisted the urge to gasp as a lean figure disentangled himself from the shadows. The guy looked like he belonged on a Hollister poster. His dark brown hair was styled perfectly and his impossibly green eyes bore into mine.
He was wearing a dark gray sweater, dark pants and red vans. His sweater hugged his arms and chest suggesting at the muscles hidden beneath. He reached out a tanned hand and I stared stupidly at it my brain refusing to function.
He leaned down and grabbed my arm pulling me up as he straightened. As soon as I was standing he let go of my arm and stuffed his hands into his pockets.
"Zoey" Mr. Sullivan addressed me when I had collected all of my books. "This is Zane Westguard. He's new here." Duh as if that wasn't obvious; Zane was defiantly the hottest boy in school. "I'd like you to be his tour guide for the day or week. Help him with whatever he needs."
My gaze was glued to his face. He smiled at me and winked. My legs felt all shaky.
"Um...Okay" I mumbled intelligently. Mr. Sullivan left us then and we stood awkwardly in the hallway looking anywhere but at each other. I cleared my throat as more and more students started to fill the hall.
"Do you have a zero hour?" I asked him. Without replying he handed me his schedule. I tried to reach for it and hold on to my books but gravity took over. My books slipped from underneath my arm.
In a blink of an eye Zane had swooped up my books, tucking them neatly into the nook of his arm. I opened and closed my mouth a few times but said nothing.
I scanned his schedule delighted to find that we had a couple of classes together. But he didn't have a zero hour.
"Okay well um I have to get to class right now but after wards I can give you that tour." I gave him back his schedule and reached for my books but he avoided my reach. I raised an eyebrow at him and turned around. I stole a few glances over my shoulder to see if he was following.
I stopped in front of a door and threw it open.
It opened into a wide classroom where all the desks had been pushed to one side. Canvases were set up in place of the desks. Random paintings were hung up around the room. Kids were already seated at their canvases working.
This was my drawing/painting class. One of the few I took because I wanted to and not because it would look good on a college application. I walked over to my canvas and dropped my bag. It landed with a loud thump. A few students looked over at us and just stared. At Zane.
I didn't blame them. I had trouble myself keeping my eyes off of him. I motioned for him to set my books down. He just stood there slightly embarrassed.
"Yes?" I asked him.
"Um is it okay if I stay here." His voice was low and smooth with a velvety tone to it. I heard a few girls in the class sigh. I blinked a few times before I realized that the question was directed towards me.
"Yeah sure." I said turning to hide my blush. "We just need to think of an excuse to tell Mrs. Debrato." Upon hearing her name Mrs. Debrato my teacher glided over to us.
"Zoey Who is this?" Mrs. Debrato did a once up glance on Zane and then focused her attention back to me.
"He's uh..." I took a side ways glance at him. His face was completely blank but his beautiful green eyes begged me not to throw him to the sharks. "My subject."
I wasn't lying our latest project was to do a still life. It could be an animate or inanimate object. I was having trouble finding an inanimate object hard enough to draw and I couldn't find an animate object interesting enough to draw. Until today.
"Hmmm very interesting choice." With one last glance at Zane she walked over to another student and started lecturing him.
Zane let out a sigh so soft that for a minute I wasn't sure if I had imagined it or not.
I brought up a chair and set in a few feet in front of my easel. I gestured for Zane to sit down while I got out my drawing pencils.
"So what do I do?" He asked after a few minutes.
"Um...I'm not sure yet." I studied him head on for a few minutes. We made eye contact and I got lost in his eyes trying to count the different shades of green. The corner of his lips turned up.
"Do you stare at all your subjects like this?" He said teasingly. I blushed breaking eye contact.
"Only when they look as funny as you do." What was this? I was flirting! Rest assured I never flirt in my life. I've never had a reason to.
A muscle jumped in his check but he otherwise said nothing.
"I think I'd like to draw you head on." I said more to myself than Zane.
"So what I just stare you down?" I nodded my head.
"Just don't think of anything. That shouldn't be too hard for you." I flashed him a grin. He settled more comfortably on the chair and full on gazed at me.
I returned the gaze studying his face with a more artistic view.
He was defiantly stunning. Beautiful even. His hair had fallen slightly in his eyes and my fingers twitched to push it back into place.
He had the most perfect lips I had ever seen. They were full but they didn't over power his face.
His cheekbones were defined and I could see dimples start to form as he smiled at me. I lost my breath at how beautiful his smile was. I could see perfectly white teeth as his lips separated into a full on grin.
"What are you smiling at?" I asked scowling at him.
"You." He replied honestly. "Your just so cute sitting there drooling over me." I widened my eyes at him before quickly narrowing them.
"I wasn't drooling I was simply getting an artists look at you." I wasn't drooling...was I??? I quickly dabbed at the corners of my mouth when I thought he wasn't looking. "I need you to move closer though." He scooted his chair all the way in until our knees bumped.
I sneaked one last look at him before I got to work. I decided to draw his eyes first. I liked the mystery I saw while looking into them.
We were silent as I worked but I could feel his steady gaze on my face. I jumped when the bell rang and hurriedly put my stuff away.
"Where to now?" He asked curiously.
"Well we have about half an hour before next class starts. I can give you the tour and let you be on your way." I was disappointed when I said the words I wasn't even sure where they came from.
"But what if I don't want to be on my way?" My heart quickened and I tried my best not to smile. And failed. I didn't want to fool myself but there was defiantly chemistry building between us.
"Then don't." I said simply. I started walking my normal routine Zane following behind me. When we got back to my locker a figure straightened up. It was Aidan; my best friend.
"Hey Aidan!" I greeted him cheerfully. "This is Zane he's new-"
"I know who he is." Aidan cut me off coldly. He was giving Zane a death look that Zane was returning.
I was sure what shocked me the most. The fact that Aidan knows Zane or the coldness of his voice.