Chapter 30: Ana, Tas or Anastasia?
"I'm really happy you came again." He rested his head on the side wall and smiled.
"I didn't come for you Nathan." I said through a cold front.
"I know. But I also know that somewhere deep down you did come to check up on me. To see how I'm doing." His words sounded confident but his voice was hopeful.
I didn't say anything.
"It's okay Tas,"
Tas. He called me Tas. Not Ana.
"They've been telling me I'm getting better and that I've shown a lot of improvement already." His smile grew but sadness remained in his eyes.
Improvement, so soon?
"Really?" I ask, and somewhere inside I may have been happy.
Happy that Nathan can get his life back.
"Yeah. They tell me it every time before they inject me with my medicine."
I shut my eyes closed tight when I realised the situation at hand.
They lie to him. Feed him hope. Non existent hope.
"That's great Nathan." I say faking a small smile.
"But he still hasn't gone, Ana." His mood changes.
Ana.
"The voice?" I question.
He slightly nods.
"It will. Eventually." I say reassuring him but he shakes his head.
"It will Nathan. Know why? Because that voice is you. And the only person that can mute it is you. You don't have to listen to it but somewhere inside you, you think you do and you haven't let go. And until you don't learn to let go. It won't go.".
He shuts his eyes closed and forces himself to nod.
"Nathan, how long are in this room for on a daily?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Long. We get out in the morning and eat and stuff, then they give us medicine. And then we come back into our rooms." He explains.
"Medicine? I don't get it. You have a phycological problem, how is medicine going to fix that?" I say hoping he was stable enough to understand.
"I don't know. But after I take it, I feel calm. It helps. With that I don't know but it helps.".
"Just hang in there." I say and he nods.
I get up ready to leave.
"Bye Tas." He whispers.
I give him a smile and walk away.
I'm glad Hunter and Dylan stayed in the car today.
I call for the elevator and can't help looking back one more time. But as I do. I notice Nathan isn't there.
I shrug off his absence and enter the elevator to the ground floor where Dylan awaits me.
As soon as the door open he stood in front holding a whiteboard.
It read,
So how was it? Is your friend better now?
I inhale and hold his hand leading us to the waiting area.
"He's adjusting." I say as Dylan nods.
"How was your day?" I question him.
He simply shrugs, "Dylan? Can I ask you something?" I say.
He wipes his board and begins writing.
"You just did." I read aloud. "Funny, can I ask two?".
He dramatically sighed and held up his board again.
"Ah, okay. Smarty pants." I shake his frizzy hair out of place and he pushes my hand of laughing.
"Dylan, why are you here?" I ask him, hoping he would open up this time.
"You can tell me, Dylan." I assure him.
I notice him lightly swallow, he writes on his board that he has to go and then he quickly throws me a wave before running of to the same room again.
I walk into the parking lot trying to find the car when Dylan starts honking again.
"What is up with you guys?" I say after opening the car door and getting inside.
"Do you know how long you took?" Dylan said as he tapped his hands on the steering wheel.
"Yeah yeah, sorry. Let's just go."
************
"Godzilla!" Trey shouts, sounding extremely freaky in his British accent as he dramatically throws the popcorn in the air.
"I second that." Hunter says as he munches on his own popcorn which leaves Dylan on his own rooting for Taken. Trey and Hunter claimed to have seen Taken way too many times and Godzilla only once and even though Trey had watched both movies a million times he remains adamant on Liam Neeson.
"If we aren't watching Taken then we aren't watching Godzilla... We'll just have to pick something else." Dylan explains as he shuffles through the DVDs.
"Tas, you decide." He finally says as he gives up.
I roll my eyes and quickly shuffle through the DVDs, then I look at them dumbfounded. "Seriously? Watch Fast and Furious" I tell them as I throw the DVD to Dylan. They should've settled with that from the start, it's an awesome movie.
I see Trey smile and Hunter shrug and Dylan simply mutter an okay as he pops the DVD into the player.
"You watching?" Dylan asks as I begin to leave the room.
"I've seen it a million times." I say before entering the kitchen in search for cookies. I really wouldn't mind watching it again but I think I'll let them have their boys time.
"Okay but your missing out." He states loud enough for me to still hear him.
"Why do you want me to stay anyways. I thought you said I'm not allowed to stay down if Hunter and Trey are over." I question him suspiciously.
Dylan quickly makes his way over to the kitchen, "Yeah, if you stay then I'll have to kick them out and then us two can watch Taken." He whispers eagerly as he raises his eyebrows in question.
"That's rude, Dylan. We can watch it tomorrow." I say, as I find the white chocolate chip cookies and grab them heading up stairs where my own movies await me.
"Hey Tas!" Dylan shouts before I get up.
"Where is Martha?" He asks again for the hundredth time!
"I told you. She's gone to have a life of her own for some time. She'll be back! Give her a break!" I shout.
I miss Martha. If she found out what happened she would be munching on some Ben and Jerry's with me.
"I miss her." Dylan exclaims like a child who's had his lollipop taken away.
"Try not to cry yourself to sleep!" I shout before running upstairs.
**********
Half way in between my movie my phone rings.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Ana! It's me- stop! Tas, come ge-" the line goes dead.
What the hell is going on?
Was that Nathan?
How did he get ahold of a phone?
Did he try to run away?
It would make sense. He's locked up in a small room when I come to see him. And if he did run away, he has no one else other than me to contact anyway.
The phone rings again.
"Hello?" I say again in panic mode.
"Sorry ma'am that was just one of our patients." The woman on the other line explains.
"What happened?"
"Your friend Nathan tried to run away and contact you... Don't worry. It's all sorted. We have it under control." She said before hanging up. Something in her voice made my stomach turn.
He's going to need to face his fears if he wants to get better.
He's going to have to toughen up and I know he will.
He has to.
*********
What do you think, still like Nathan?
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