Loving You Is Forbidden (Third Book of "Fire and Ice" series)

CH. 33: Always the only one since the first time

Dear All,

Here comes CH.33 as promised and I am sorry for the small delay, but you will understand once reading the update. It came out longer than expected, but I didn't want to cut anything, as it all seemed perfectly fitting and closing all the many points and situations.

So, please be ready for a chapter of 33 pages and 25350 words: do take your time in reading it and then, please let me know what you think, because with your comments and feedbacks I grew and improved as writer. THANK YOU! Also, I love reading them and replying 😊

I do not want to say much about this last chapter before the Epilogue, aside the fact that I think we will have a few things you waited for long time and definitely expected to see in here. Some parts are quick and easy to read, so it will go fast, some others more intense and emotions-filled.

I would like to THANK all of you my dear readers, for the love and support you give me, for re-reading my stories so many times and for the votes and comments. In particular, I would like to thank fuurin1 for your precious and very stimulating comments/feedbacks, because they really are helpful and insightful, not to mention your re-reading my stories and voting them: THANK YOU very much, my dear, I really appreciate it.

A special greeting to my dear AerilistaryliaSae because I know how attached you are to this story and to Anatoly in particular 😊I know there is a special small episode here you will like.

A banner I created pointing out the two main aspects of the chapter and a song I found very fitting, especially for a certain part; I am sure you will understand and agree. The quote was inspired by re-reading for the nth time "The Little Prince" ^^

And now, enjoy it!

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction", by Antoine de Saint-Exupery in 'Airman's Odyssey'

ANATOLY POV:

June finally arrived and with it, I graduated from high-school and received the diploma, together with Viola, Adrian, that jerk of Lebedev, Sharon and Cameron the annoying shrimp, not to mention the sort of additional person that joined our group, somehow rendering the shrimp less focus on getting on my and Seryozha's nerves. Good for him, as I pretty much couldn't care less about that. However, we all made it and, in particular, I made it and graduated with quite incredible grades, as with the new literature professor they somehow all started to look at me in a different and less hostile way.

That helped my application for college, as Mr. Lockard really wrote the recommendation letter as he promised months ago and after having sent a few applications, I had been accepted in the chosen college in New York I was really hoping for, where I would study Literature. Needless to say, how freaking happy my mom was and the family party she threw to celebrate both that and my commencement. She also invited my friends and it had been a rather crazy day, which even if it sounded lame and sappy, I had to admit I very much enjoyed. I had finally made it and it gave me such a liberating and proud feeling that I couldn't properly describe. It was something I achieved no matter the shit that happened during the year and it meant that it was done.

Thank to every divinity up in the Heaven, Oleg had been more merciful and decided to celebrate it in a more private way, consisting of dinner cooked by him and consumed in his garden as we gazed at stars and the gift he had for me was made of first editions of four of my most favourite books. I had no idea how he managed in finding them, but I questioned nothing and simply ogling at them with hanging mouth and wide eyes, almost afraid to touch them for how valuable they were, being my usual bratty self as my stare moved from the amazing editions to his smiling and obviously satisfied face. The hot bastard knew how to surprise me all too well and the slightly conceited pleased expression on his face said it all.

I remember carefully and very gently setting the precious books aside, safely on the coffee table, and then attacking my hot bastard on the couch, as we had moved indoor when it began to rain. He always knew how to blow me away and pull out my most bratty, embarrassing side, especially when he told me that he had booked a racing session for us two, also inviting the Mighty Sasha and Vincent. He had sort of gotten over what happened in January, but to be more open with Vince would take longer and I wasn't going to push it, for I knew Oleg very well and entirely respected his nature.

June also brought Dima's and my birthday and this year, I had no chances in refusing a big celebration, so I just gave in and let him plan it for us two. Mom helped in the first part of the organization as in the afternoon we all met in our garden, where we had a pool-party and mom's amazing food and cakes, my parents sharing that moment with us, as some parents friends of them were invited, like Travis's mother, who immediately clicked with mine. After that, we went to some place only that nerd of my brother could come up with and we ended it in a club Travis suggested and booked a couple of tables for us all.

Yeah, the crazy guy was back in New York for a short break and yeah, the birthday party became freaking mental considered the amount of people invited: our usual group of friends, my friends from school, and a couple of the chipmunk's buddies who not surprisingly were in very good terms with Dima. Among them, I realized I wanted to slap that one called Steven for the dirty looks he kept throwing at me, which I understood in a way considered my past, but that got on my nerves at the same time, and then I sort of liked the guy my brother called Texas Ranger because he kept the annoying one on quite a leash and had the time of his life in teasing him. He also was rather funny and a perfect match for Derek's idiocy.

Oleg joined us briefly at the pool-party, but not when we all jumped in the water and did the most idiotic and moronic things ever, and later he came to the club, for he was busy in the afternoon and I definitely didn't want to push his patience. He definitely avoided the mental mess of us in the swimming pool and just sat talking with my father in all of his mouth-watering, stone-and-iron-made and Oleg-like glory. He joined me a moment at the border of the pool for a few minutes only, and I wanted to tear his t-shirt away, but I refrained, for we weren't alone. Freaking hell, he was so relaxed and at ease that I found myself staring at him without moving for many seconds, almost under some spell or stupor.

And right when I was not paying attention and being distracted by my incredible and damn hot man, that doofus of Dima pushed me in the pool and my revenge came by managing to grab him at the very last second before falling into the water and I will never forget his face as he dropped into it dressed. I think I almost drown for how much I laughed at his moronic expression, staring down at his super nerdy Star Wars drenched t-shirt, the chipmunk also pretty much rolling on the grass along with my friends. My brother then laughed in his usual booming way and we tried to fight in the water, the Mighty Sasha, Hayden and Derek joining, declaring myself and Sasha the winners at the end of that super childish madness. River observed us from the border and smiled in his cat-like manner, taking a video of us. I knew he also had missed this and with a quick glance we understood that both shared the same feeling.

I sure had fun in tossing Viola in the swimming pool where it wasn't deep, given she greatly improved with her fear of the water, hearing her giggling and laughing loudly, Lebedev cursing at me and hissing to stop touching his girlfriend. Sharon was another cool chick and we had our personal fun in teasing and bothering Seryozha and pushing him into water when he least expected it, which wasn't an issue considered his swimming skills.

I still couldn't believe at how much he had smoothed his jerk-like attitudes and how he slowly improved his relationship with the Mighty Sasha, or how completely whipped he looked with Viola. He was almost worse than my brother, but hey, I liked seeing my skinny fairy friend so happy and smiling.

Just as I was sitting at the table with River, Adrian, Derek and Sharon, the others either dancing or sitting close by, Riv gently nudged my shoulder and looked toward the entrance with a soft, wicked smile. My eyes followed that direction and there he stood, fucking handsome and so mind-blowing that a couple of girls glued their eyes on him, making me roll mine. I was starting to get used to it, because the damn hot bastard had quite an effect on girls and not only on them; nevertheless, I got on my feet and walked to him quickly.

"Hey, you made it," I greeted him and, without half care of whoever was around us, he replied by tenderly kissing my lips. Oh fuck...his spontaneous and relaxed side was my undoing and always melted me, so, I pressed a moment harder and he pulled back, the infamous and provoking smirk on his mouth, his eyes shining of a darker light that told me he felt in my same way. I ranked him over a couple of times, as he always looked so hot that sometimes I still had to remind myself he was mine and only mine.

He wore nothing too fancy or out of ordinary, but the most simple clothes looked perfect on him: dark jeans, under them black leather shoes, and today he conceded me a light grey shirt, the inks slipping out from the two unfasted buttons. I was staring, and I couldn't care less.

"How are you, Anatoly?" He moved closer once more and his hands went on my waist, pulling me a mere breath away from him. "Happy birthday once more, brat," he murmured on my ears and I freaking melted there, my dick getting hard as rock at just the raw, taunting sound of his voice and at his lips that barely touched my lobe for a second. I was so gone it wasn't even funny. I stood there like some moron on a sexual and love-struck daze and swallowed down, trying to recover by how he managed to affect me. My hands slipped on his back and moved lower, almost reaching his incredible ass, until I forced myself to behave. Later, once alone, I ordered myself. "You do look very good tonight," he added with half smile, once more caressing my earlobe with barely a whisper of touch, and I repressed a groan of pure and burning lust.

He was doing it on purpose, and he enjoyed it. Bastard. Hot, provoking, sanity-screwing bastard.

"You look fucking hot," I blurted without even caring I was admitting it aloud, because it was the pure truth.

"Spasiba," he said, pulling back and moving his eyes to where my friends sat, inclining his head probably greeting some of them. "Shall we?" He asked motioning for the table where I was before, and we walked there going to sit and I did really try my best in repressing a stupid and lame smile as I looked at my man comfortably and friendly greeting all of them and making conversation spontaneously. God...he was amazing in everything and he was my partner, the person I really did want to spend my entire life with, the person that, since the first time I admitted my feelings for and kick my stubbornness in its ass, I realized being the only one that I would always love.

Travis and the Mighty Sasha joined after a short time and I could see how Oleg immediately began to talk to them, as he had just spoken to Adrian and River. I spotted Viola at the dancefloor with Lebedev and she waved at me, signalling she would soon come back as the song would be over, because I knew she loved that one in particular. I still couldn't believe at seeing that jerk there dancing with her, treating her as she were his princess, being all sweet and cute. I had to admit I was having the time of my life.

"How are you?" Travis asked Oleg and he conceded him a short smile, the crazy dude responding with an open and quite dazzling one, completely melted in Sasha's arms.

I well understood why he was so territorial, because whenever Travis danced and moved around he sure attracted a lot of attention and given how the place was very gay-friendly, many guys shamelessly gawked at him, debating whether to risk it or not. The Mighty Sasha made sure to make them rethink about their doubts and choose to turn on their heels and beat it. Yeah well, I pretty much understood him, because, as much as I privately gloated in thinking about Oleg, at how hot, amazing, and everything else wonderful he was, at one point the way some people pretty much ate him with their ogling started to get on my nerves. Oh God, wonderful, I was being jealous. I snorted at that and just mentally cursed at my lameness.

"I am well, thank you, and what about you? Anatoly told me you are studying in London, at the Royal Ballet Academy." He remembered every small detail regarding my friends and never forgot anything I told him.

"It's fantastic and next autumn I'll have a part in a new ballet we are staging, which will be hell-like crazy and difficult, but I just love that." He brushed his white-bleached hair away from his forehead and lost himself more in my friend's embrace, letting his hand leisurely move on Sasha's thigh. I think they were trying to contain themselves because they were around us, since I saw them dancing before and I think many on the dance floor risked of bursting into fire and suffering from blue-balls, for they sure were quite a hot show. "Alexi told me that next weekend you will go to race with motorbikes."

"Indeed, and if you are in New York, you are very welcome to join us, for I believe Aleksandr would definitely like that." Perceptive and amazing bastard as always. He got it right and I could see Travis smiling widely and nodding, barely containing his crazed self because in front of Oleg, someone he still didn't know well and that, no matter what, still instilled quite a strong dose of respect and intimidation in everyone.

"Hell, I'd love that, thank you!" Travis cheered, slipping his hand higher on Sasha's thigh and I knew what was hidden behind my friend's poker-face: a lustful beast who couldn't wait to destroy his half in bed. He was great at masking his real thoughts and emotions behind his famous icy poker-face, but we knew one another for far too long time. We exchanged a look and he gave me his typical one-side smile, understanding each other at once. Yeah, I related to that all too well. "Tolya!" The sexy-crazy guy spoke to me, black eyes shining and the tongue piercing showing slightly, given the fact he liked to play with that. "I'll be able to take a video of you guys racing, it'll be wonderful." I just smiled and chuckled at seeing how he suddenly stood up as if something had bitten him in the ass and jumped on Jasper's neck, as the chipmunk and Dima joined, calling him cutie and kissing his cheeks.

Yeah, Travis sure was the personification of spontaneous gay flamboyance and he enjoyed that.

"Oleg man, so good to see you," my brother said, sitting down and obviously bringing food to the table. "Want some?" He offered us some fries, which I took, and Oleg obviously refused by shaking his head, for he wasn't much into this kind of snacks and junk-food. My twin stuffed his mouth and I shook my head, because he was eating like a pig not too long ago.

"Good to see you, too, Dmitri. No, thank you," he politely replied, and I let my eyes look at my friends, sitting back on the booth, my arms relaxed wide on the headrest, one hand slightly touching Oleg's shoulder.

One year or so ago I wouldn't have liked it or even allowed it, let alone truly enjoy it. But tonight, I was having a night I would probably never forget, for many reasons only a few of us there could comprehend. My eyes trailed to Oleg and he was there, staring back at me with an expression only I could read; we smiled and drifted closer without even realizing, as a natural and instinctive reaction and need.

Travis was quickly speaking to the chipmunk and two of his friends, River was conversing with Adrian, Derek and Hayden, Viola and Sergey walked back, and she immediately skipped to Travis, who kissed her on the cheeks and took a selfie with her. Sharon joined them and they took even more ridiculous and mental selfies, for the three of them had quite the hyper, colourful side in common. Lebedev sat beside me and greeted my man, making short conversation with him and the cousin. Dima spoke a bit with them and then went to his man, talking with the Texan guy about...whatever the hell they were talking about.

One person only missed the party and that was Vince. He couldn't join us because he had been a bit of a dickhead with Adrian and ditched us for tonight, but he was going to get his ass on the racing circuit next weekend, and I was going to kick it. I rolled my eyes thinking about him, but I said nothing, because I had no doubt whatsoever Adrian perfectly knew how to handle that jerk, knowing how to teach him the right lesson. My friend looked unfazed, as if nothing happened between them, but I suspected Vincent was pretty much cooking in his own idiocy and guilt, wishing he hadn't been a moronic jackass.

As I kept looking at my friends, lost in my thoughts and drifting from one memory to another, Travis approached me with quite a devilish smile, and I stared back at him not able to guess what he had in his mental mind. He grinned more, reminding me of a cat ready to jump on a soon-to-be-eaten canary, and I gulped, for I could tell by his expression he had some crazy idea.

"Oleg, may I take Anatoly to the dancefloor for a few minutes?"

Oh shit. No! Dancing, absolutely no, and I eyed the Mighty Sasha, feeling nervous at the idea of dancing with his man in front of him. He was freaking jealous, but in that moment, he just offered me a lopsided smirk and quietly chuckled. Traitor...of course he had sided with his crazy half. I went to reply, my eyes by then turning back to Oleg and looking for an escape or way to get out of it, but damn, he also just smiled at me. Another traitor, I mentally grunted.

"Please, do that," he replied obviously enjoying the whole situation way too much, and just as I tried to say something, Travis stepped in front of me and grabbed my hands, pulling me up. I was so freaking surprised and taken aback that I just stared at him with wide eyes and then glared back at my man, who just sat there smiling at me too much amused for my taste. So, I snorted something at him and let the crazy dude have his way.

"C'mon Tolya, I'm fantastic at dancing and I want to see you out there," he said winking at me and playing with his piercing. I then chuckled and nodded, for he sure was out of mind and very exuberant, to a point sometimes I wondered if he did some drugs, even though I was well aware he did not. None of my friends did that sort of shit, not to mention Sasha would never tolerate it. Travis was just naturally high-spirited and, as Jasper often described him, a firecracker type of person. But I truly liked him and not just because he helped me and the Might Sasha patch things up.

I let him lead us to the centre of the dancefloor, his hand in mine and it was interesting in seeing how both girls and guys eyed him, considered the slashed, very adherent jeans he wore and the way he walked, definitely very much aware of the fact he was sexy and had quite the hot ass. Well, not as hot as Oleg's, but I still couldn't deny Travis was quite a piece of human art. He halted at some spot where the lights moved around us and smiling, he placed his arms around my neck.

"Hey sexiness, your man will send me six-feet under if you do this," I told him with a playful smile and his clear laugh made me grin.

"He won't mind it for sure, but maybe he might have something to say about the "sexiness", even if I know I am," he half joked, flashing another dazzling smile. "What about your man?"

"Oleg isn't the jealous type, at least not like the Mighty Sasha," I explained, and he nodded, moving closer to me and sort of guiding my movements, for I truly sucked at dancing. However, he made it way easier than I thought, and he knew what he was doing, he knew how to lead someone and make that person move even if they sucked like I did. He was incredible and it was obvious he loved it.

"Hmm, he might not be as jealous as my sex-beast, true." I chuckled at hearing how he openly and shamelessly called my friend, which by the way, rendered the idea I had of them perfectly. "But he is without doubts very protective and he would never let another person behave in some ways around you, and this is why I asked him first."

"He wouldn't say anything to you for two good reasons and I'm sure you can guess them."

"Still, I am not yet in very close terms with him, so asking was the best and correct option." I liked the fact he said he yet wasn't in close terms, meaning he planned to become more acquainted in the future and I didn't see it very difficult, granted his personality and the fact Oleg enjoyed the company of Aleksandr.

"How is it in London?" I asked honestly curious.

"You and Oleg should come to visit me, when Alexi is there. We would have a fantastic time, I guarantee you that," he replied moving in a way I had never seen before, making my body respond to that and also try to lamely take some steps around. "See? You're dancing," he said, and I shook my head chuckling. "Tolya?" He suddenly called me with a different tone of voice, his eyes now staring into mine intently.

"What is it?"

"I'm really glad you're fine and everything is fantastic with you and don't worry, Alexi didn't say much to me, just something which I will never repeat to anybody else. You have my word." I genuinely and openly smiled at him, about to reply, but he continued. "Also, hell, I'm crazily happy in seeing how you guys made up and how we are now all this fabulous group of friends...thank you, because I really like Viola and Adrian, and also Sharon, and I don't know, I just love this. I mean, even Sergey isn't that bad, once you pass his jerk-like and rather abrasive attitudes." Right, somehow, they had gotten in better terms and Seryozha gave up on Travis' openly gay extroversion, accepting it.

"I know what you mean," I simply said, not wanting to reveal the fact I had had the same exact thoughts just a while ago. But he saw through me and winked. Right, I forgot the fact he was another smartass like River and Adrian, in his own peculiar and different way. "Will you stay in New York for a while?"

"Yeah, I have a break, which means we will have more time to spend together." I said nothing to that and just chuckled, pretty much agreeing with that. I sure had nothing against seeing him again or doing stuff all together, like tonight. It was something I had very much missed, something I said I hated as mechanism of self-defence, but in truth, I envied my brother and my friends, and now...now everything was as it should have been. Oleg was right in saying it was all in the past, because I really felt in that way. It was there, not forgotten for it would be impossible and unfair, yet it no longer burned me as it used to. It just made me more aware, humble even, grateful for what I had and whom I had around me.

As those thoughts crossed my mind, my eyes searched for Oleg at once, in need to find the man that represented my world and my anchor, the man I loved since the first time we began to orbit around each other, the only one I loved and would always love. He was observing me, with an apparent unreadable face, his usual hard eyes set on me and his face looking as if void of emotions; but I knew better, and I understood what there was behind that. He was drinking water, because he would be the one driving us back, and my brother, Seryozha, Adrian and Derek were around talking with him. Oleg conceded me a very quick smile and nod and I just stood there staring more at him.

"You truly are a hell of a couple," Travis commented with a mischievous smile and I nodded, for there wasn't much to say to that. "Sasha speaks of your man very well; he likes him, and I can see why. I have met him a few times only and he's like my Alexi: an incredible man you must be very lucky and blessed to meet and then have in your life." He was damn right in saying that and I observed him a moment, his stare trailing to where Sasha sat, seeing River at his side talking. Yeah, Oleg was one in a million, the kind of man and person you could really call yourself freaking fortunate to have at your side. And so was my friend, who seemed to feel our stare and looked back at us, a lopsided smirk on one side of his mouth mostly meant for his man, given the way his eyes stopped on him.

"I think we're done dancing craziness," I remarked quite amused, because Sasha stood up and calmly walked to us, always very handsome and confident, ignoring the persons around that meant nothing to him. I noticed River followed and I was glad, so I could have a chance to talk with him a bit.

"Travis baby," the Mighty Sasha said, assessing him as if wanting to possess him right there, so I discreetly chuckled and let his crazy man go, but he caught that of course and smirked at me. "I think I'll take my Travis back, if you don't mind," he spoke with levelled voice and I laughed, understanding his real state of mind. Sooner or later they would leave and lock themselves in Sasha's bedroom, considered his house was entirely free for the weekend, which probably meant they weren't going to lock themselves just in one room.

"He's all yours, but thanks for the dance, sexiness," I said in the obvious intent to tease my friend, who just shook his head and immediately wrapped his arms around his man. Travis winked at me and stuck out of his pierced tongue.

"My pleasure, Tolya," he replied and after that, they were lost in their own world. Jasper once confessed me he thought of Travis as the person who started everything and I think I understood what he meant, for having met with the chipmunk and Sasha caused quite a few unexpected turns of events.

A light hand stopped on the back of my head and when I looked at my side, River was smiling at me with amused and warm eyes.

"Do you think Oleg would mind?"

"Absolutely not," I answered and somehow, we drifted further from them, finding ourselves in a quieter spot, where the music was slightly less loud.

"I never thought I could have this very fortunate and rare chance of dancing with you," Riv mused observing me from his blue and beautiful eyes.

"You can thank Travis for this," I said, trying to follow my friend, but all in all I sucked at that and thank God Oleg, just like me, wasn't into this. He went to say something, but I anticipated him. "River, where is Nic?" It was quick, very quick and very much controlled, but a shade of pain crossed his face. "Riv?"

"We had a small discussion, but nothing to worry about," he explained without giving many details, but I read behind that and there was something, which I wasn't going to let go. I had failed him as friend many years ago and I wasn't going to do the same damn mistake twice. Those two arguing seemed weird, because Nicholas gave me the impression of being a very rational and calm person, and he liked River very much. My friend on the other side wasn't someone who would easily get into an argument, for it hurt him, even if he would never admit it. I only came to comprehend it a while ago.

"How about a ride tomorrow?" I asked him, and the surprise registered on his face for a short moment, which meant he understood my real intention. He smiled and moved closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and letting one reach my hair, caressing it.

"He will not mind if I do this, right?" Of course, River had gotten that Oleg wasn't a jealous type, especially when it came to my friends and him in particular, exactly like Travis, who also grasped the depth of his friendship with the Mighty Sasha.

"No, and he won't mind the ride, so are you going with me? You'll enjoy it for sure."

"I definitely will, because I believe it will be a very thrilling and interesting experience."

"You can bet your sexy ass on that," I replied smiling and he chuckled, giving a friendly and affectionate kiss on my cheek.

"Thank you, Tolya." I shook my head at his words, because he had no need whatsoever to thank me for something like that. "What about we go back? Or actually, you should go back to your very compelling man and I will dance a bit more with Derek," he proposed and right in that moment, D himself joined us and I let them enjoy the dancefloor, since I honestly had quite enough. Obviously, Sasha and Travis were still there, completely lost in each other's arms, and that crazy guy sure knew how to seduce his man while swaying his hips and ass. I smirked and walked to our tables, sitting right beside Oleg.

"Did you enjoy it?" He asked with a clearly amused half smirk and I rolled my eyes.

"I think you enjoyed it much more," I snorted shrugging my shoulders and sprawling more comfortable on the couch, my knee slightly touching his thigh.

"I sure did, Anatoly," he replied, handing me a glass of soda. We stayed like this talking with Adrian, Seryozha and Dima, as Jasper went dancing with his other friends, and right when I was listening to Lebedev explaining something about his sister's boyfriend, both Viola and Sharon stopped standing right in front of me holding hands and giving me the overexcited and almost creepy full smile. Oh shit...I knew what they wanted, and I knew how Viola was going to get it.

"Oleg, would you mind if we take Tolya with us for a song or two?" She directly asked him, no longer feeling intimidated or uneasy whenever around him and the hot bastard sure didn't help in that, given he openly smiled at my skinny fairy friend and nodded.

"Please, do so." I went to say something, but both girls grabbed my wrists and managed to pull me up, that jerk of Lebedev obviously butting in and not minding his fucking business.

"Yeah Denisov, go enjoy dancing," he snickered, having fun at my expenses, but I was going to make him pay for that, eventually. "You cannot disappoint the ladies," he joked with his usual jerk-like sneer, "just avoid the touching part, clear?"

"Lebedev, I'm freaking queer in case you have forgotten it, so screw you," I replied flipping, him off, hearing Oleg slightly chuckling already used to us two, and the reaction came faster than expected.

"Fuck you, Denisov," he threw back giving me two birds and then, he stiffened and slightly eyed Oleg from the corner of his eyes and I almost burst out laughing, about to say something smart, but I had no time for that, as Viola and Sharon dragged me to the dancefloor, but only after she giggled and said something to her moronic boyfriend in her usual chirping, fairy way.

"Later, will you dance once more with me? Travis said we can ask the DJ for a song or two." She was there standing in front of him, purple-pink hair and pixie-like dress, the usual amount of colourful and jingling bracelets, Sharon being the only one holding my hand. And what the jerk did? He smiled clearly gone and whipped, and took her hand in his, the usual sneer completely overshadowed by a sappy grin.

"Whenever you want, princess. Pick the songs you like," he replied, and I felt like gagging. Damn, I could not believe it, but Seryozha could freaking compete with my twin brother in terms of cheesiness and that wasn't a compliment at all. She sent a kiss to him and then, as usual, she mimicked to blow fairy-dust to his direction, her smile reaching up the ears and eyes shining in pure happiness. She skipped to me and the two girls dragged me to the dancefloor.

However, as much as I liked to complain and pretend I minded it, dancing with them was quite funny, and I understood why Lebedev often eyed in our direction, ready to reach us if needed, because guys were ogling at both girls like starving wolves. And of course, he couldn't exactly take it for much longer, since he joined us right when some guy was about to probably introduce himself to Viola. Adrian followed him and winked at me, as he started to dance with Sharon, making her laugh, twirl around and have great time. I decided it was time to go back to Oleg and so, this time I finally sat beside him and remained there talking with him and some other friends, enjoying a drink and looking forward to being at home with him.

The four rare and first editions of some of my most favourite books were a present for my graduation and for my birthday, he gifted me with a brand new helmet and tickets for the Superbike race in California, for he knew that Laguna Seca was one of my favourite circuits ever, also, pretty much giving us the chance to get our first short vacation before going to visit his brother. We planned a longer one for the following year, in which we would travel by motorbike and camp in some places; then we wanted to visit Europe and many other countries. I found myself smiling at the thoughts of our future plans and he caught me, leaning a mere breath away from my ear.

"What are you thinking about, brat?"

"You want my honest answer?"

"Dah," he pretty much ordered, letting his hand slip on my thigh, for it was covered by the table and nobody could see it. I shut my mouth closed as he moved it higher, triggering me even more, my blood already boiling and demanding to have him. And he sure never let go of this new and quite playful side, aware of how it affected me. "So?" He actually was getting worse and better at that: worse for my self-control and sanity, and better in terms of playfulness.

"You got me hard," I very quietly muttered between my teeth and his sensual, pleased chuckle only fuelled me even more. I swallowed down and locked my eyes with his. "First, I was thinking about our future plans in terms of travelling and such."

"I do look forward to it, Anatoly," he commented apparently with even voice, "and then, what else?" He knew it; he freaking knew it and enjoyed hearing how horny I was for him way too much. What was I complaining about? I loved him like that.

"And then, I was thinking about us in bed, destroying each other until we have no energies left, until we can just drag our feet to the shower," I replied so that he could only hear those words, my eyes never leaving his, drilling holes in his dark, intense wells, and he gave me the most arousing and somehow scary smirk ever. Oh Fuck. I had awakened and unleashed the beast and I realized, the same happened in me. I swallowed down the increasing desire and lust and ordered myself to get a grip over it for another bit, as I would get my revenge later.

"That can be definitely arranged after this, brat, considered it is what I plan to do with you throughout the entire night." Oh. Fuck. Me. He was freaking hot and exciting, to a point it messed up with my sanity and self-control. Therefore, exactly like the Mighty Sasha, I couldn't wait to tear my man's clothes away, having him in every possible way and being screwed in every imaginable way; yet, exactly like my best friend, I also very much enjoyed this evening and dearly cherished every moment, making the most of it, for I really had missed such simple things in the past and, I had to admit, celebrating my birthday in this way wasn't bad at all. Oleg must have read into my emotions or perceived a slight shift in my mood, because his expression grew softer and murmured words only meant for me to hear. "I indeed do plan to make love with you the entire night, but only after we have completely enjoyed this evening. I do really like your friends, all of them, Anatoly."

And again, without completely realizing it, he blew me away with his few words, leaving me in some dazed, moronic state, looking at him without saying anything, just smiling like the brat I was.

OLEG POV – A MONTH LATER:

I watched as Anatoly reached the final line before me, after we battled hard and tried to take over each other at every turn, pushing the engines and our motorbikes almost over the limits, touching the asphalt with our padded knees and elbows, once risking sliding down at very high speed for how recklessly he took a turn. But he had made it: he had pushed his Kawasaki and his skills and instincts over the limits, a step or two over them, and he had beaten me with quite a distance. He had beaten me twice already.

I watched as he passed the final line bent over his Ninja as if wanting to gain even more speed, his competitive, impulsive side being in completely in charge, the leather suite wrapped around his body, the motorbike roaring for the effort requested during the last sprint. He was a winner, in his core and essence, in his deep nature, and he had the exceptional skills and attitude to be one.

I watched him win for the second time in a row and this time, with a considerable distance that marked the fact he really had incredible and instinctive skills few riders only possessed. And so, I knew I was falling in love with him once more, all over again and possibly deeper than before. I knew he had been always and the only one since we first touched, since we first shared my bed, since the first time my lips touched his forehead, since we kissed and made love for the very first time. Since the first time we lost in each other's emotions, feelings and passion, telling each other how much we loved one another.

Indeed, I knew all of this already, since the very first time. Since I tried to repress my feelings and attachment. However, as I witnessed and watched him win and beat me solely because of his incredible and outstanding talent, my heart and soul swelled in more love, a different and almost deeper form of love, which was also made of pride and satisfaction. He had made it and now, nothing would stop him from finally reaching his dream.

I passed the finish line and saw him removing the helmet as he had slowed down almost to a strolling pace, shaking his head slightly. He then casted quite the provoking and smug smile back to me, that both ignited my blood and my desire to tear our gears away. I slowed down and reached him, siding to him and removing my helmet, a smirk replying to his and a few words for him.

"Well done, brat, you beat me," I said with apparently levelled voice, but I could see he had caught my real state of mind as he looked into my eyes, and for a very brief moment we exchanged a glance only we could understand and that spoke for many words.

"Thanks, impassive, hot bastard," he threw back with a way of looking at me that mirrored my same desire of tearing each other's clothes away. "Fuck, racing with you is so freaking hot that you have no idea," he said as he pushed the helmet back and rode to the paddock, "the adrenaline is still coursing through my veins and I can almost taste it on my tongue...God, I'm still excited to a point you have no idea."

"I perfectly understand what you mean, Anatoly," I replied with a touch of provocation and an authoritarian note in my voice, entirely aware of how that affected him, and there it was, the spark in his eyes, the way he assessed me with a challenging and hungrier look.

Dave approached us and immediately patted Anatoly's back, for then hugging him, giving me a very surprised and incredulous look, shaking his head thinking at what he had just witnessed. He already knew Anatoly was extremely skilled and talented, but today he marked a significant difference, pulling out something Dave never expected to see with his own eyes.

"You're awesome, kiddo. You race in a way I never saw before and it's amazing...I'm still excited and Jesus, I must show you, because you must see yourself and I filmed everything. You risked in a couple of turns, but you calculated your risks, right?" Anatoly had no time to reply, because Dave continued talking about his outstanding performance and complimenting him. And then, he suddenly halted and looked at me; therefore, I understood at once what just happened, for I had seen him a moment ago talking to a man he spoke about during one of our calls. "Anatoly, I've got some news for you, but first you two refresh and let me take care of these two babes, OK?"

"What do you mean?" Anatoly asked with his voice still on the edge and the adrenaline still coursing in his veins.

"Shower first, kiddo, and then, let me introduce you to a person who watched your race with great interest and whom you really impressed." I smiled and stepped beside my brat, placing a hand on the small of his back. He turned to look at me with a questioning look and I shook my head, for I was not entirely sure, yet I had guessed enough. Dave had anticipated me something but did not want to reveal too much for fear it would not work out and hence, I kept silent.

I had not the slightest doubt this day would soon come, for Anatoly was extraordinary talented and he had something in him, a rather impulsive edge, a reckless touch of instinct that made him completely different and unique.

"Let us shower first, as he suggested."

"You know something, don't you?"

"No," I only said, but of course he would not let go easily, so I repeated myself with more commanding and decisive voice. "Shower first, punk."

He grunted something under his breath rolling his eyes, with all chances calling me in one of his usual, euphemistic ways. I let it go, for I grew accustomed to it and because the joy and pride and love burning in me were too great.

Dave took care of our motorbikes together with another person who joined him today, and thus we went to take a shower, having the space for us only today, for I booked it on a day when nobody was using it. I stripped from my leather gear, feeling the sweat rolling down my neck and back, my muscles somehow pleasantly tired from the long race Anatoly and I endured, challenging each other at every chance. He was absolutely incredible and seeing him taking the motorbike at such levels ignited a fire in my veins I would soon need to quench.

I felt eyes on me and as my stare searched for him, he was standing there with his suit half undone and revealing his upper body barely covered by a drenched tank-top, his hair dishevelled and also sweaty at its edges, the Japanese style tattoo now wrapping around almost the entire arm, with some details to be still completed and perfected. He stared at me blatantly, his eyes slightly wide and he swallowed down as he ranked my body, for I had managed to undress before him.

"What is it, Anatoly?" I asked him with dark voice, in the clear and obvious purpose to provoke him and for a moment, he just stood there in complete silence just roaming my body with evident ravenous eyes, one of his hands clenching and unclenching restlessly a couple of times.

And then, something must have clicked in his head, for the expression on his face changed in an instant and he hastily removed his gears and anything else he wore, giving me then a complete and sanity-shredding view of his naked body, of his strained muscles covered in sweat, his member very hard just as mine, and more tattoos slowly covering his arm and torso, the one on the neck completely gone and erased, just as that part of his past. We exchanged a look so charged and intense that we could have possibly incinerated the entire perimeter, the walls feeling as if closing around us. His eyes flashed when I gave him my usual smirk, his temper and desire reacting to it, for on my part my desire was burning in my entire body, coursing in my veins insanely.

He covered the distance between us in quick and predatory steps, immediately crushing his mouth on mine and letting his tongue invade my mouth avidly and in that reckless way of his, while his arms wrapped around me and one hand grabbed my hair. I responded to it in my own way, sinking my fingers in his sweaty hair and he growled as we kissed deeply and intensely, losing ourselves in it. I felt the nails scraping my scalp, for then trailing lower on my neck, still scraping my skin and sinking deeper, as his other hand grabbed my back harder. It was a response to the way I bit his tongue as he usually did and took control over the kiss, deepening in his mouth and pulling out very sensual groans and moans of pleasure, letting my hands slowly, very slowly descend from his muscular back to his round and firm ass. I grabbed it strongly and he muffled a swearing word in my mouth, for then breaking the kiss to shoot quite the crazed and heated look at me.

"Fuck Oleg, I'm so hard you have no freaking idea how painful it pretty much is, and I want you so much I'll go mental if I don't get you." He pressed his lips back to mine and we stumbled in the heat of the moment, finding ourselves against the wall of the showers' cubicles.

As a matter of fact, none of us was a public person that would enjoy or do anything in a remotely public place; however, in that moment, after the adrenaline and burning excitement of the race, after seeing him winning over me out of pure and devastating skills, after seeing each other naked with the sweat on our skins after riding, we could hardly contain ourselves and we kissed ravenously in the changing room, aware only in the back of our heads we were indeed alone. Very good decision indeed to book the place for ourselves only.

Many times, I said it: Anatoly had a very dangerous effect on me, entirely shredding any sort of limit or restraint. And clearly, it was mutual, which created a very explosive combination.

He pressed me against the wall harder, our erections touching and sliding together, as we kissed more and more. My hands were still on his incredible ass and I pulled him closer, still dominating the kiss until he growled and bit my tongue, pulling away. We just stared at each other breathing heavily, our foreheads touching, our lips a mere breath away and we drank from each other's eyes.

"I think we're freaking crazy," he muttered out, a very enticing yet soft smile on his lips, mirroring mine in everything, letting go of a playful chuckle, and I took the chance to kiss him deeper and harder than before, turning us around and pulling him up, his legs immediately wrapping around my waist. "Fuck..." he cursed on my lips, for then taking them hungrily. One of his hands moved from my shoulder to our erections and began to stroke them together, sending jolts of blinding pleasure down my body. "I fucking want you, Oleg," he groaned in my mouth, untangling his legs and taking my face in his hands. "I really fucking want you," he repeated, and I just locked my eyes with his, staring at him silently for a moment.

"Are you aware in which place we are, brat?" I asked, letting my lips first tease his ear and then descend on his sleek neck, my teeth causing his pulse to increase significantly.

"I know, I freaking know it, but I don't exactly give a damn right now," he hissed out, my teeth taunting him more, together with the tip of my tongue and my hand now stroking our erections. He swallowed down as I grabbed us harder. "We are alone, aren't we?"

"Indeed, we are," I confirmed, for nobody would dare to disturb us here and however, they were concerned in taking care of our motorbikes. "We do are alone, but still not a very private place."

"You turned me on too much," he groaned as I kept stroking ourselves, his head falling to one side as pleasure built up. I moved away and his eyes flashed back at me. "So?" He demanded with quite an annoyed but very provoking tone, because he took great pleasure in playing and so did I.

I smirked at him, leaning closer once more and letting my nose trail over his neck to feel his pulse, reaching for his earlobe, which I softly bit and pulled with my teeth, making him breathe in sharply. I moved back to his neck and then slowly to his throat with my lips, finding his pulse again, getting even more excited than I already was in realising how fast it was, in hearing the sound of his raw breathing. My teeth grazed his skin softly at first, harder after, tearing out a loud swear of pleasure from him. He was right in saying we were crazy, because this was something I would have normally never considered. But I was with Anatoly, the only person I had ever loved and desired, since the first time I realized my feelings for him. The only person ever capable of pulling at my strings, of unleashing a side of me I never knew to possess.

"We might be crazy, as you say it, Anatoly, but I do also desire you more than anything else."

And with that I turned him around facing the wall, but it was not what I really wanted. What I needed and sought for was him losing his control, an Anatoly unrestrained, raw and entirely temperamental. Seeing him win before fuelled something into me and the way he assessed a moment ago turned me on more than I could ever try to express with mere words. I wanted him out of control but definitely not here and not in a public place. Still, I did not want to miss this chance to play with him.

Therefore, I pressed him against the wall and my erection slid between his incredible ass, my hands tangled with his and braced against the wall. My tongue enjoyed trailing over the back of his neck, his breathing the only sound I could hear in that room.

"What do you want?" I inquired with hard voice and in all reply, he turned around faster than expected and kissed me, turning around to face me.

"I want you in the shower," he breathed on my mouth and in no time we found each other under cascading warm water, Anatoly behind me and tearing apart my last shred of restraint as he slipped two fingers inside of me, having use the shower gel as substitute lube. "Fuck, this is hot, Oleg," he groaned against my neck, his tongue enticing my already sensitive skin. "So damn hot..." I kept my eyes close to fully sink in that overwhelming and maddening pleasure.

"What are you waiting for, brat?" I provoked him and I knew his reaction would come as expected, for I felt him massaging his erection with more shower gel and then thrust inside of me, my nails scraping against the wall of the shower's cubicle, a growl escaping from my throat. I loved him like this. I began to stroke myself, following his pace, as we were so excited and lusting for each other that we were not going to last very long.

And indeed, after a few deep and very demanding thrusts, Anatoly and I found the same crushing climax together, his hand joining mine in sliding on my very hand member, while he penetrated me more and more, his chest pressed against my back and the water still falling on our heads and bodies, the soft sound of it confusing with our raw breathing and groans of pleasure. He remained inside of me for another short moment, our bodies spent by our rather harsh and daring love making, his lips pressed against my shoulder.

"I don't know what about you, but there was no way I could last longer," he muttered out, his chest rising and lowering in deep breaths.

"You drove me out of mind, Anatoly," I said in complete honesty, "which means I also could not take it longer than we did." He chuckled and carefully pulled out, so I turned around and we softly kissed, our tongues playing with each other. "I guess we can say we have tried something else new, hmm?"

"Definitely, hot bastard," he replied with a smug smile. "And I loved it, so what next?" I pulled him in my arms and only stared at his eyes for a few silent seconds, losing myself in their beauty and light.

"Next we shower and get to meet the person Dave told us about and after that, we shall see. What do you say?"

"I say damn yeah, Oleg."

When we left the shower, Dave waited for us at indoor bar, another person at his side. I already knew who that man was and why he was there, but I did not miss the surprise on Anatoly's face as he realized someone was really waiting for him because of his earlier racing.

"Did you organize this?" He asked me quickly in Russian and I gave a short nod as reply.

"We discussed it before Christmas, if you remember. Dave spoke about a person with good ties in amateur racing that could take you to further levels. This is the man he told me about, and he was there watching your performance of today," I explained still in Russian and he quietly swore under his breath.

"Couldn't you tell me anything?"

"I was not entirely sure whether he had time today to be here or not. Dave as well was not certain, so I did not want to raise hopes in case the meeting could not be arranged." He rolled his eyes and shook his head, quickly checking at how he was dressed: short, slash jeans-shorts, a loose white tank-top due to the rather warm summer temperature, and a pair of black, fabric-made sneakers, not forgetting his earrings and the tattoos. In a few words, he was dressed in the typical Anatoly-style.

"I'll look like a fucktard." He never cared about his clothes and his style, so it was obvious he was nervous and caught out of guard. He was also slightly annoyed with me for not having anticipated anything, but that was going to change in the following few minutes.

"You look like a punk, as usual," I mused with a light tone, to relax him slightly, and it somehow worked, as he chuckled and smiled back.

"Ah whatever, I guess he's not here for a fashion's event, right?"

"Indeed, Anatoly. He is here for your exceptional skills and unique talent." With the permission of Mr. Denisov I had organized this meeting, Dave helping me in regard with the man's contacts and available time. If there was a chance for Anatoly, even only one out of millions, I would give it to him, for he deserved this and much more.

ANATOLY POV:

"Anatoly Denisov?" The man dressed in a more decent pair of jeans, polo t-shirt and normal shoes addressed me, going to shake my hand at first.

"Yes, that is me, nice to meet you...?" I asked, returning the gesture, feeling Oleg standing right beside me.

"My name is Andrew Black and I heard from Dave he had an interesting rider to show me, someone with incredible skills and instincts, who could become a name and I believe he was right." He politely smiled at me and then, looked at Oleg, quickly assessing him and immediately introducing himself. "Nice to meet you," he said in a more formal tone and obviously my man replied in kind.

"Oleg Azarov, an equal pleasure."

"I was saying that Anatoly here really is talented, and I saw you before, racing in such instinctive way, really pushing your motorbike to its limits: well done. I really like your style and Dave is right in saying you have talent, you have a lot of raw talent and I would like to ask you to participate to a couple of amateur races, if you would like?"

"I'd love that, thank you," I blabbed out immediately, seeing how the man smiled at me pleased by my reaction.

"Very good, we can discuss the details later and is your family aware and agreeing on this?"

"His family entirely approves and supports it," Oleg explained for me and the man called Andrew nodded satisfied.

"That is great, so we can maybe sit for some lunch and discuss more details? You see, Anatoly, you will start with a few amateur races, mostly to show your abilities and get others to know you and appreciate your qualities, but trust me when I say that soon you will be noticed by more important persons and I will make it happen."

I didn't know really what to say, because I had almost forgotten about this and I had to remind myself not to look like some clueless moron and answer something in a normal and proper way. This was going to be my chance and there was no way in hell I would burn it or ruin it; Oleg had made it happen for me with Dave's help, given the persons he knew around the motorbike racing world, and I had to grasp my occasion and realize it with my own skills.

"Thank you, Mr. Black, I'll give my best and when would the first race be? I'm ready," I spoke with impossible to conceal enthusiasm and he must have liked it, because he smiled less formally and more openly, patting my shoulder.

"I like your eagerness and I will have it arranged for an upcoming event taking place in about ten days. Will that be fine?" We walked to a table and sat around it.

"Yeah, absolutely!" Oleg sat beside me and I felt his strong and firm hand on my back, a silent message for me and his way to tell me I was going to make it, that he stood at my side no matter what, and as I was there, talking with Mr. Black and Dave, Oleg beside inquiring about details and more information I couldn't think of given my crazed state of mind, I knew one day or another I was going to get into Superbike as I always dreamed of. Something I could achieve not just by my racing skills, but because of the persons around me: Oleg and my family.

A FEW MONTHS LATER – ON THE WAY TO RUSSIA:

I quickly and discreetly peered at Oleg sitting right beside me, his eyes staring outside the small window, lost in the darkness of the night sky. The lights were suffused in the cabin of the plane and I was damn happy we went for business class seats, for they were far more comfortable and somehow quieter. I felt my lips tilting up, for even if he was freaking good at masking and containing emotions, it was obvious to me how slightly nervous he actually was. I had never seen him like this; maybe the first time his brother contacted him after many years, but he was more confused, taken aback, almost insecure at first what to say or how to react, expected reaction he immediately recovered.

However, now he was different, and the tension was quite palpable and evident in the way he sat completely straight and how he often eyed the darkness outside. I wondered what he was thinking about and I thought to let him be and not bug him, but let's be honest: I couldn't just sit there beside him and pretend nothing was going on. That would make a very bad partner of me. So, I leaned closer to him and placed a hand on his thigh, his face slowly turning looking at me, a soft smile on his lips as soon as our eyes met. He wasn't fooling me, and I was happy to finally say I could read more and more in him.

"What are you thinking about, Oleg?" I quietly asked, my hand moving from his thigh to his own hand, our fingers immediately locking together. I loved the callousness and warmth of his skin, the gentle strength of his grip.

"What makes you think there is something going on in my mind?" He asked studying me with a slightly amused and very kind expression, his eyes smiling at me for he had caught my train of thoughts easily. Yeah, I could read inside of him much more, interpret his emotions and feelings without the efforts I did before, but it went the other way around, for he could read into me even easier and quicker than before. Awesome indeed. I shook my head and rolled my eyes, because of course he couldn't normally reply to my question; anyway, I decided to go along with that, for he needed it.

"I can see you are looking outside a lot and you look tense, clearly thinking about something. What's that about? Are you nervous about seeing your brother and his family?" We would land in a couple of hours and then, we would need to take a train and his brother would meet us at the train station. There was no immediate airport around where they lived, and even if his brother insisted, Oleg won the argument by stating we would take the train, granted our flight landed awfully early.

Oleg and I first planned to visit Moscow and Saint Petersburg, but we decided to postpone it for the return, as he wanted to first settle the matter with the remaining of his family. I understood him, for I would have not been able to enjoy the cities knowing something like that was pending over my head. His brother sure had been rather welcoming over the phone, but he warned us about his wife, because apparently, she wasn't very open about homosexual relationships or somehow she was never put in front of one, so he asked us to be understanding and patient, for he was sure she would get over it with time. She was happy the brothers were about to meet after long time, but I had a feeling she held a stupid and idiotic grudge against Oleg and might have been a slight pain in the ass. Well, she could bring it on, for I would have no qualms in telling her off if she dared to say anything wrong to my man.

Alright, I knew then, as my thoughts went crazy about that, that I definitely needed to cool down and remind myself to check my temper, because it was Oleg's family and I had to keep calm and patient. Well, as much as I could, and as much as people would allow me to.

Oleg had not replied to my question at first, as he looked at our connected hands and let his fingers play with mine, a distant smile on his lips, his mind possibly taking him years back. So much happened to him before we met, before he started to work for dad and joined our family, and only then I realized what must have been weighting down on him. It wasn't just about meeting his brother, but the places of his childhood, ghosts from the past, distant memories both pleasant and unpleasant, persons that no longer walked this world. Persons he had dearly loved and whom he missed without doubts. I squeezed his hand and his eyes moved back to mine.

"Yes, I am nervous about seeing him after many years," he openly confessed, surprising me big time, which must have showed on my face considered the light chuckle he let go. "What is it, Anatoly?"

"Nothing, you just surprised me by admitting that so openly. Is it only about that, your brother I mean?"

"No, it is about many things. Since I left Russia, I always felt like burying memories away and leaving many matters and issues behind, and at times it made me doubt myself. It felt as if I was running away, because I had locked almost everything in a very hidden and dark side of my mind."

"You were not, so don't give me this crap, alright?" I threw back feeling my temper triggered by his words and he stared at me softly smiling, for then leaving a tender kiss on my forehead, which soothed me down.

"I know that, brat." He kissed our linked fingers and lingered his lips there as he continued speaking. "I realized that for some time already and made peace with my past and my mistakes, for, as I always repeated to you, it is all in the past and bringing it up would change nothing. I no longer feel responsible for my father's actions and I no longer feel the same weight when I recall that night." I said nothing to those words, for anything would be futile and superfluous, hence I only smiled back at him, wishing to be alone so to kiss him fucking hard. But we were on a plane. My heart thundered at his words, at the look in his dark eyes and the serene note in his voice, for I knew he was being completely sincere and open. Oleg wasn't capable of lying; he simply couldn't do it. "I will never entirely completely forgive myself for how I reacted, but I believe you understand this very well. I should have controlled my reaction, but I can see now that it was probably impossible, given all that happened in our family."

I only nodded at this, because he was right: I understood that all too freaking well. Yeah, I pretty much left everything in the past, I forgave myself almost for everything and looked ahead, not letting the mistakes done years ago weight down on me and affect my life or decisions. But I also realized something else that I came to accept completely and easily. I would never be able to completely forget what happened, the way I behaved and how I hurt people; I would never be able to entirely and totally forgive myself for my moronic and dangerous mistakes. I would never want to forget it and wash it away.

However, it wasn't bad or something that threatened my long-sought peace of mind and heart, my balance. No. It was a feeling, a thought that grounded me to the present and my life even more, that had opened my eyes and mind, that made me see how far I came, what I could change of myself and what I unexpectedly regained and re-found. It gave me a deeper sense of living and made me see with different eyes, aside making me re-connect with the people around me on a completely different level, like with my friends, with Dima, my family and with Oleg.

I knew then Oleg felt in the very same way, and that he also didn't want to entirely forget the past and remove it from his mind and heart. It belonged there and it couldn't be any different. So, I asked him a question, whose answer I could already predict, but that I longed to hear from his lips, seeing the serene and calm expression in his eyes, the gentle smile on his mouth.

"Will you visit your father's grave?" I carefully asked and he nodded at my question without any hesitation or doubt. Once more, he kissed our linked fingers and my lips tilted up as I kept looking at him.

"Dah," he replied calmly, "I will visit his grave and make complete peace with my past. But please Anatoly, do not misunderstand my intentions or feelings. I will never forgive him for how he treated his family, for how he beat my sister and mother, how he terrorized us when we were small and he woke up in bad mood, immediately attaching himself to a bottle of cheap vodka or any other alcohol he found." A touch of resentment moved in his eyes and his expression hardened slightly as he spoke those words. I had no idea what a violent and drunk parent meant, the nightmares and fears he or she could instil, but Oleg had faced it fully and survived it in his best. My hand automatically went to his hair and I cursed in my head we weren't alone. We looked at each other and leaned over to softly caress my lips with his. It was quick, it was tender and full of love, and it was very private for nobody noticed that. "I want you to see where my grandmother and my mother are buried, also where my sister rests."

It must have hurt him greatly, and I understood it by the sad smile he momentarily wore on his lips, by the way his eyes once more darted outside the window, staring at the dark sky.

"Spasiba," I said quietly, and he turned his attention on me, shaking his head.

"No Anatoly, I am the one thanking you, for this is possible only because of you." I went to reply but he silenced me by touching my lips with his thumb. "Do not say anything, as you must know, it is true. I am immensely glad to have you here at my side while visiting my motherland, while seeing my brother once more." God...I loved this man so freaking much that my throat closed at the emotions roaring in my heart and body, and I just stared back at him, hopelessly gone for him.

"Tell me more about them," I said, and he nodded, quietly narrating stories of his childhood.

He told me of when he decided to become a soldier to demonstrate that they really were heroes at the service of the motherland, because he thought it would be an easy way to make money to sustain his family, because he wanted to be a person able to protect the weak and defenceless persons. That was so Oleg-like and I found myself smiling at that, especially when he told me about his first tattoo, an angel with a rosary as a symbol to remember his late grandmother, then the symbol of his special unit and then more and more, each of them holding a special and unique meaning. He told me there was one signifying the meeting with my parents and getting into our family and I thought about the one Oleg and I shared, a similar tattoo done in summer to represent our unbreakable bond.

If his sister hadn't died, she wanted to become a doctor and she had already begun studying for that, but she didn't make it due to her incurable illness. He told me so many stories that we didn't realize we were landing to Novosibirsk, and the time stopped for me. No, not really. The time travelled back, and it was as if living those moments of his past life, seeing them through his words. I didn't need pictures, because his descriptions were accurate and detailed, his feelings and emotions coating each word. I loved the fact he let his emotions freer, the fact he allowed himself to express his feelings more while with me.

We collected our bags and took a bus that drove us to the main train station and even if it was September, the air seemed to whisper that soon a rigid winter would touch the city. It was very early in the morning and my eyes felt tired, for none of us managed to sleep on the plane, which seemed normal all considered. As soon as I stepped out of the bus and bought the tickets for the train, I began to feel nervous and I silently cursed in my head. I wasn't supposed to feel in that way, but I couldn't help it and I tried to mask it with all my will and power, in which I must have failed miserably, given how Oleg very discreetly touched the back of my head and smiled at me, as if silently communicating we were in this together. And he was right. He was damn right.

We waited on the platform for the first train and I just looked around, not many people being there considered the accursed early hour. We decided to restrict our physical exchanges even more than usual to avoid unnecessary and unwelcomed attention. I had a half idea that most people would not give a damn about us, a lot of news being fuelled by media and such but being prudent was never bad. I mean, you'd need to be careful in some parts of US, too, so all in all I really didn't care; especially because if someone would dare bothering us, they would really later curse their bad luck. Neither Oleg nor I were people with whom easily mess around.

However, I had to say something: people so far proved to be friendly and helpful, and I liked that; I guess the fact we spoke the language and were Russian (technically I was US citizen, but I always felt more Russian thanks to my family) made everything smoother, not to mention the usual dose of intimidation Oleg naturally instilled into people. But he had a pure heart and it was clear in the way he immediately helped an old lady carrying her luggage, while I helped her getting into the train and settling her belongings. She was very old, but extremely sweet, and gave us some homemade sweets as a way to thank us, affectionately patting our cheeks. I was impressed by seeing such old lady travelling alone and Oleg smiled at me. I think she reminded him of his grandmother, but I said nothing to that.

His brother lived outside the city, in a much smaller town called Kargat because it was cheaper, this Oleg explained to me, and also quieter, for Novosibirsk was the third largest city in Russia and apparently neither his brother nor his family loved living in such highly populated city. I wondered what they would think of New York, a city that pretty much never slept and full of people, and I asked myself whether they would ever visit us or not. They had moved to the main city of the oblast years ago, but then changed again, even if he worked in Novosibirsk. A rather special city for Oleg, considered it was where he met my parents for the first time, when he saved their life. We decided to visit it on our way back, because I had to see it for myself.

The trip on the train was very comfortable and it gave me the chance to see the lands of a very foreign but fascinating country for me, even if she represented the roots of my family, the heritage of my family and in a way, my other country, too. Such vast and desolated spaces that left me in open wonder, stimulating my imagination and attraction for that land, that could be very hard on people. I took pictures and then, I took a selfie with Oleg, both of us smiling at the camera, the nervous feeling slowly leaving our hearts. I knew his brother was happy to see him and I believed, the same applied toward me, for he must have understood how serious and deep our bond and relationship was.

The train stopped at Kargat and the same knot I felt earlier in my throat came back, so I swallowed it down and pushed my shoulders back. I took my bag and exchanged a quick smile with Oleg: he also was trying his best to not show his real state of mind.

However, it all disappeared as soon as we stepped out of the train, a tall man with greying hair and dark eyes waiting there for us with a sincere and welcoming smile. He must have been Nikita, Oleg's older brother, and it was clear they were related and siblings, even if he was shorter and less broadly built than my man, but still having the same rather hard and severe traits on his face, the very dark and piercing eyes and a strong hand-shake.

"Oleg," he said, and without giving his brother any time, he hugged him tightly. I noticed how my amazing bastard stiffened at first, momentarily at a loss on what to do, but then, he softened and returned the same strong hug, lingering in it for a while. He needed it and I was so damn glad we managed to come here.

"It is good to see you, Nikita," he replied, his voice apparently even, as if careful not to completely reveal all his emotions.

They broke from the embrace and his brother stepped in front of me, shaking my hand at first and introducing himself, for then giving me the same warm welcoming, his arms firmly wrapping around me. Yeah, I had no reason the feel nervous and have any fear, because he clearly was honestly happy to see us both, especially his younger brother, and possibly, slowly begin to amend the broken relationship.

"Anatoly, or Tolya, if you will not mind it," he spoke to me with a similar tone of voice as his brother, but less strict and authoritative, less inclined to iron-made discipline, "I'm very and truly happy to meet you in person and I'm glad you decided to accompany Oleg in this trip. You are very welcome in our family." His words took me aback a lot and I believed he noticed that, given the way he smiled at me, hence, I averted my eyes away a moment, feeling the solid presence of Oleg right beside me.

"Spasiba, Nikita, and yes, Tolya is perfectly fine with me," I replied quietly, directly staring back into his eyes. "I'm also happy to be here with him and meet his family."

I believe that the years they spent apart without talking to each other served him to slightly open his eyes to what incredible and selfless person his younger brother was, the sacrifices he made for his family when still very young, the responsibilities he silently took on his shoulders without saying anything against it, the mistakes made in the past, and it was freaking obvious he now wanted to atone for all of that, to recover the lost and wasted time. I knew for a fact that Oleg was touched by it and that having his brother back into his life would only make it better. Afterall, it was his family.

"Shall we go? Do you need help with the luggage or anything? Was your flight pleasant?" He talked more than Oleg, who mostly expressed himself in short sentences and few words with people he knew little, exception made for myself, my parents and a few friends only; and still, he would never be the one talking no-stop like for instance Dima did. Nikita was different or maybe, it was due by the fact he needed to speak with his brother, but also with me, since he directly addressed me a few times.

"We are fine, thank you," Oleg replied in his usual fashion and I secretly smiled, "we decided to travel light and yes, the flight was pleasant." As I observed them standing beside each other, even though Oleg looked younger due to his incredibly beasty, Hulk-like body, and his hair completely black, he still appeared the more mature one, he looked like the older brother instead of the younger one, something that made entirely comprehend what sort of life he had before meeting my parents. I swallowed down what came over me and shook my head, chasing those thoughts away. As he repeated me countless times, it was over, and it belonged to the past.

Then, something Nikita said captured my entire attention and curiosity, my eyes searching for Oleg to see the expression on his face and I bit my lip not to laugh or say anything at the way he was addressed by his brother and at how he stared back at him, his eyes then quickly looking at me.

"Lyoka, tell me more about your life in New York, and Tolya, I heard you won two amateur races in motorbike and that you might be in for something more, that is very good," he spoke as we walked to where his car was parked outside the train station and I could not resist it anymore, seeing Oleg sighing out and massaging his forehead.

"How did you call him?" I asked barely able to contain my bratty amusement, glancing at my hot and right then slightly annoyed bastard with quite a smirk.

"Lyoka," he replied not getting my change of mood, "our grandmother called him like that." That was new big time for me, because as far as I knew, Oleg wasn't a name to be shortened or having any real specific diminutive like mine and my brother's or such, so this very precious information came in my possess at the best time. Nevertheless, I avoided making out of place and immature jokes or comments, for when Nikita mentioned their grandmother, Oleg's expression changed at once, taking a mixture of softness and nostalgic sadness. It wasn't the time to tease him over that.

"I didn't know about it," I simply said.

"Because I do not really use it," Oleg pointed out, glancing at me in a way that spoke for thousand words and warnings. Yeah, good luck with that hot bastard, because I was definitely going to use it, but once or twice only on the sole purpose to tease him a tiny bit, for I would never disrespect or make fun of the way such important person used to call him. "Nikita, Oleg only if you please."

"Of course, brother," he replied nodding with a smile. "Alina is waiting for us at home, as the kids were still in bed at this early hour, and she will have a very rich and good breakfast ready for us all. Do not worry, Tolya: my wife is great at cooking, and I am telling you this because I heard that your mother is very good at that, too."

"Indeed," Oleg only confirmed, "thank you for the trouble you are taking for us."

"No trouble at all. You are my brother and Tolya is your partner; this is the least I can do." Once more, Nikita's sincere words struck Oleg more than he ever imagined, probably never thinking of hearing them coming from him; and therefore, he acknowledged them by inclining his head in his typical way expressing deep and truthful gratitude.

I silently followed them in the car, suddenly feeling nervous once more as I recalled what he told me about his brother's wife. What if she would not like our being openly together? What if she would not be pleasant and welcoming with Oleg? I shook my head and chased my fears away, for I had a feeling that his brother would not allow it, in a way or another, and, as if guessing my thoughts, Oleg eyed me from the rear-view mirror and quickly smiled at me. My lips tilted up in the same way and I told myself to relax, take a deep breath, and simply stand at his side, which I believed it was all he needed.

OLEG POV:

As we arrived at Nikita's house, his wife met us outside, but I did not miss the first rather cold manner in which she greeted first me and then Anatoly. As I quickly assessed her, Alina Azarova was exactly as I remembered her since the last time we saw each other: very slender, with dark blonde hair arranged in a long tress crowning her head, deep green eyes indicating a strong personality, a certain air around her whenever she moved and sharp features. There was not much warmth in her traits and stare, but that never belonged to her to begin with. I had always respected my brother's choices in life and wished him the best, thus, I extend the same respect and consideration to his family.

Her way of greeting us was all very normal and to be expected, but I glanced at my brat, seeing how he reacted to it, not wanting to have him feel uncomfortable. However, he must have made a point to ignore it, because he greeted her politely and trying his best to smile. I was aware that she never particularly thought of me highly or with affection, but it was however evident she was making an effort for her husband's sake and that was more than enough.

She welcomed us in their simple, but very nice and comfortable house, showing where to leave our shoes and giving us a pair of sleepers each to use inside. The same habit the Denisov and I had in New York. Anatoly said nothing, simply followed the instructions and then my brother and his wife in the kitchen, where indeed a very generous breakfast had been laid on the table for us.

"Thank you, that looks amazing and I must admit I'm starving," Anatoly spontaneously commented and then, he shily smiled and scratched the back his head, afraid he had said too much.

Nevertheless, his words broke the ice with Nikita's wife, because she smiled for the first time and proposed to show us the house, saying we might probably need to first refresh ourselves before sitting at the table. As she walked us around the house, explaining their children were still sleeping, my attention caught the way she glanced at us from time to time, possibly trying to cope with our relationship and understand it. Our eyes met and she went to look away, but I smiled and inclined my head in silent and sincere gratitude. She quickly returned the same gesture and, after we refreshed ourselves after the long travelling, we sat at the table with them.

"Anatoly, is there something you do not like or cannot eat? I should have asked Oleg first," she asked him directly and I had the impression she had taken an immediate liking in him, because that was how my incredible partner unexpectedly and without being aware affected people. I had seen it already and it always pulled a hidden string of my heart.

"No, thank you Mrs. Azarova, I can eat everything, and this definitely is great, especially this cake," he replied indicating the generous slice of cake she had served on his plate.

"Please, do call me Alina, because you are part of Oleg's family, if I understand correctly?" She looked at me seeking for answers and I nodded.

"Indeed, he is my partner and I do work with his father," I explained firmly staring at her, for I had known her nature for long time and only frank and slightly resolute straightforwardness would work with her personality. She said nothing for a few seconds, solely observing us and I never lowered my eyes, keeping them on her. She also had to understand what an important person Anatoly was in my life. No, not merely important. Anatoly was my world and the only person I would always have, need and want at my side.

"I understand it, Oleg," she finally said with a more relaxed expression and she pondered over something else, for then surprising me by placing her pale and slender hand over mine, her nails always perfectly manicured and red as I remembered. "I am glad you decided to visit us." Those words were spoken with honesty and came from her heart, with no artificial and second intentions behind them, and I caught the expression on my brother's face, right then letting go of the tension he had concealed from them all aside me, for I could read into him very well.

"Thank you for having us over," I replied letting her feel and see my gratitude and Anatoly quickly touched my fingers under the table, a simple yet very meaningful gesture I returned. "And Anatoly is correct in saying that what you generously prepared for us is indeed very delicious: thank you, Alina." She smiled once more and then, prompted us to eat, saying she would soon wake up my two nephews and I had no idea what to say or do, for I had not seen them since they were very small, many years ago.

Would they remember me or even know who I was? I imposed my thoughts to retreat and stay locked away. I was here now and there was no longer need to dwell in the past.

"If you will excuse me, it is time to wake them up. Nikita love, please keep them company and see for them, if Anatoly would like something more."

"I am perfectly fine, Mrs. Azar...I mean, Alina," he gave her a rather open, yet timid smile and that was the real charm of my brat. There was something in him that attracted people to him, which made them like him as soon as they understood his real sensitive and considerate nature.

"Please, make yourself at home and do take more of what I prepared." She smiled back and left the kitchen and, once she was walking up the stairs, Nikita spoke to us.

"I am surprised by her, to be honest. If you want me to be straight, at first, she was against this, because of what happened in the past and because of your...relationship." He moved his eyes on us with an apologetic expression and looked away for a moment, perhaps recalling our past. "I explained her, Oleg. I did not tell her at first, not feeling like digging into those past years, but then, as we began calling each other and as I heard you finally being at peace, I told her what really happened that night." He dropped silent and he massaged his forehead with both hands, letting out a long and deep sigh. "I should have been more present and realize what kind of person our father was. I am really sorry," he apologized looking at me and then, trailing his stare on Anatoly. "Thank you for taking care of my brother, because as much as he will never really speak a lot, I can see many things changed in him and I can only think of you and your family as the real reason."

"I love him," Anatoly simply said and that really took my brother aback, who remained as if being transfixed while observing my partner.

"Yes, that I can see, and I believe Alina perceived it, too. She never really knew what sort of man our father was, for it is not something you want to share lightly, but after telling her I believe she did a lot of thinking and I told her more." He shook his head, relaxing back on the chair, his eyes casted down on the table and I recognized the same look on his face I had years ago, whenever recalling our past. "We had some very hard moments, when we were kids, right Oleg?" I said nothing to that, for Anatoly had heard everything from me already. "And you continued having them for longer time. I am very sorry for having left you alone." He halted and then went to continue, but I stopped him. I was not here for this.

"Nikita, it is all in the past. We both made mistakes, but we also both recognised them. So please brother, leave it in the past. Anatoly and I are not here for this, but simply to see my family once more, to let him see where I grew up, where our family is resting, to meet you. Nothing else." I would never be able to properly describe the change of expression on his face, as if a heavy weight had been lifted not only from his shoulders, but from his heart, mind and soul. Also, I would never forget it, as I would never fail to remember the smile he gave me.

"Spasiba, Oleg," he only said as reply and, I solely nodded. We had nothing else to add. Right after we spoke about that delicate topic, we heard loud and excited steps running down the stairs, my brother's wife firmly calling after one of their kids.

"Pasha, do no run down the stairs like that, it is dangerous." And right after she ordered that, the steps calmed down, but still reached the kitchen before she did.

"Dad!" The youngest of their sons called as he stepped in the kitchen, going to hug my brother. "Mum told us that uncle Oleg is here: is it true?" And as soon as he pronounced my name, he realized two persons where in the room and his dark green eyes curiously stared at me, his mouth slightly open. He looked a lot like Nikita, but the eyes and the colour of the hair belonged to the mother. Uncle Oleg, he said, and I felt my lips tilting up at those words and the child-like wonder on his face as he took in my presence, for then studying Anatoly with even more curiosity. "Who's that one?" He asked pointing at him and I heard Anatoly coughing to probably cover his laughing.

"That is Anatoly, Pavel," I replied and right after I spoke, Alina and their oldest son stepped into the kitchen, the young child regarding me with more caution than curiosity, very much resembling his mother. I felt the stare of both my brother and his wife on me as I spoke about my partner, interpreting their subtle fears correctly. "He is a friend of mine," I explained, for all considered it still was early to say otherwise.

"You have a funny haircut," he spontaneously said to Anatoly, who at first widened his eyes, never having been very at ease with kids, for then letting go of a comfortable chuckle.

"Spasiba, Pasha, if your mother will allow it, we can try it on you," my hot devil suggested, and I hid my smile in seeing the openly worried expression on my brother's wife's face, something Anatoly also did not miss. "I am kidding of course, you're too young for this and your mother would probably never let me set food in this house again." I was marvelled by how he had effortlessly and quickly eased down with my brother's family, at how he did his best in behaving friendly and openly. He got up and moved closer to him, crouching down to be at more or less the same eyes' level. "How old are you?"

"I am almost eight," he proudly replied, and Anatoly chuckled.

"Wow, you are quite big already and what about you?" He asked the other kid, still standing at the door and assessing us all from his lighter eyes, in the intent to decide whether to civilly speak to us or not, whether he could open up or not.

"Fyodor," his mother called him with a touch of strict authority and he immediately looked at her, "this is Oleg, your uncle, and you should say hi to him and to Anatoly, his friend."

"Hello, uncle Oleg," he said just as he had been instructed, but there was no warmth in his voice, still a fair dose of wariness mostly in it, and I understood it very well.

"Fyedya, Oleg is the one who put me in touch with Captain Borodin, since you expressed your interest in joining the military academy. As I told you, he was a Lieutenant of a very special unit, the Spetsnaz GRU." As my brother explained his son that, I could see how my nephew's eyes quickly trailed to me, curiosity slowly having the best over his wariness and caution.

"You really were an officer in that unit?" I nodded and noticed the way Anatoly smiled at seeing this. "And were you sent to missions?"

"I did participate to some missions," I answered and smiled at how his eyes widened in pure wonder. After all, he still was a kid, even if already twelve years old.

"And did you get that scar on your eye in one of those missions?"

"Fyodor," his mother said with firm tone, believing I would not want to think about that particular event, but I no longer felt inadequate or missing the life as soldier.

"Dah, it happened in a dangerous mission." His mouth opened up and he took two steps closer to us, his younger brother by then staring at me with wide eyes and having wrapped an arm around Anatoly's neck, who surprisingly enough seemed very at ease with it. "Did you speak with Captain Borodin?" He nodded energetically and took another step in my direction. "If once you will reach the right age you will still hold the same wish, he will help you, and I believe your father can also ask to Colonel Andrey Grekov, whom I also know very well. However, Fyodor, you must think about your idea and possible choice very carefully, discussing it with your parents, for the life of a soldier or officer is never easy. Serving your motherland gives you much pride and it is a great honour, yes, but remember it requires sacrifices."

Even though he was that young, it was evident he was rather mature for his age, capable of completely grasping the meaning of my words and keep them with him. He nodded more and took more steps toward us, until he stood right in front of me and thus, I stood up and smiled at him, shaking the hand he offered me.

"Yes, uncle, I will remember your advice." So much judgement in a child of such age and I could see a bit of my young self in him.

"It is a pleasure to see you after so many years, you did grow up a lot," I said, and he finally conceded me a smile, somehow reminding me of Anatoly for the touch of shyness it held. "This is Anatoly, as your mother said before, my friend."

"Hello Anatoly," he politely and less distantly greeted.

"Hi Fyodor," he answered with a smile meant to cover whatever he was considering in that moment. "So, you also want to be in the Army like Oleg?" My nephew nodded at him, observing Anatoly intently.

"And you?" He suddenly asked.

"Me? I will soon start my first year of college and race on motorbikes. Want to see a picture of it?" Once more, a few simple and spontaneous words conquered the people around him without much effort.

"You ride a motorbike? Uncle Oleg also does it, dad told me that."

"Yeah, he is a real badass and beating him is not easy at all, believe me," my brat replied, throwing me quite the meaningful smirk. "But I can show you videos of him racing against me, and you know what else? My twin brother plays hockey and he's really good at that, and so are two of my best friends."

Both my nephews concentrated their attention on him entirely, waiting to hear more and with that, Anatoly completely conquered them, the oldest one drifting around him and looking at the pictures he showed them with eager interest, asking questions and demanding to see some videos he had taken, inquiring about New York, being even more surprised at hearing Aleksandr's father was The Ranger's coach, for they both loved hockey, being a very famous national sport in Russia.

Their mother had to push them sitting at the table to eat breakfast, but I never expected what happened with that. Pavel sat on my lap and Fyodor right beside Anatoly, intently listening to him and asking more questions, because also my older nephew had a keen interest in books. For a moment I felt at a loss, unsure how to behave, but then, I let myself relax and enjoy the moment, seeing both my brother and his wife smiling.

I believe they also never imagined the visit would have begun with such very good and encouraging first steps and hence, Anatoly and I took the occasion to give the presents we brought from New York, for I would have never arrived empty-handed considered their generosity in hosting us, and I believe that provided the further step to make everyone even more comfortable and at ease.

That evening, when everyone else went to bed because tired, Nikita and I sat in front of the fireplace of his living room alone, drinking a warm cup of tea and talking about many matters, past and present anecdotes, telling each other about our lives, in a way we never did since we were brother.

In the following days we visited the places where I grew up and I was not very surprised in seeing how the very humble, small village had grown into an old and desolate place, a few persons only living there for most had left for the city. The house we used to live in still stood in the same place, for we sold it to another family and the strange fact was that I did not feel any melancholy while looking at that. Anatoly was at my side and he had been absorbing every small detail of the places of my youth since we arrived, taking many pictures, some with my nephews as Fyodor each passing day grew fonder of him and more open with us both in general. He was learning to play chess and I offered to teach him more, as my brother never really liked it. Therefore, every evening we sat down in the living room and had one game in which I would explain the moves and different strategies, his mind quickly absorbing everything.

On the other hand, Pavel or Pasha, as he insisted fervently on how I must call him, would never leave my partner's side, somehow fascinated by his punkish looks, the unusual haircut, the earrings, the colourful ink on his arm, and by the fact that, despite Anatoly's words, he actually had quite a charm on kids, being good and surprisingly patient with them. Of course, if they were well-behaved, calm and very polite children, as my two nephews were without any doubt, for my sister-in-law sure kept them under a very healthy and mixed dose of discipline and motherly love.

We walked around the small town and then took the car Nikita kindly landed to us for a few days and Anatoly observed me from the passenger seat with quite an amused and smug light in his beautiful eyes. I knew he was truly enjoying the staying over my brother's house and he loved seeing where I grew up, hearing more stories not only from me, seeing the country in which his parents were born and grew up.

"So, Lyoka," he called me not able to contain his bratty attitude, "where are we heading to today?"

"Anatoly," I warned him, and he just chuckled, shaking his head and letting his hand rest on the back of my head while I drove, for solely when we were completely alone we would indulge in a moment of intimacy and affection.

"What? Don't worry, I won't call you like that once back in New York, and it will remain our secret, happy?" I said nothing to that and sighed out, letting him enjoy it until he could. "But I never thought to hear anything of the sort, and did she really call you like that?"

"Sometimes she did, and my mother called me like that a few times."

"It's good Nikita has pictures of them, because I could learn more of your family." He smiled, the mood slightly different now and so, I was the one going to touch him.

"Would you like to visit her grave? My grandmother's grave, I mean. If that is OK with you."

"Yeah, of course," he immediately rushed out in replying and so, we drove to the small cemetery where four of my family members were buried.

They all had very simple graves, for at the time we could not afford anything more; nonetheless, they kept their dignity even after death. First, I visited my grandmother and after so many years it was not effortless to stand in front of her, after what happened. However, I faced her with high head and straight back, introducing her Anatoly and bringing new, fresh flowers, and mentally reciting two prayers for her, as we used to do before going to bed when I was very young. After that, we stopped at my mother's and sister's burial sites, as they rested beside each other. I wished they were still with us, in order to meet Anatoly and perhaps, the Denisov. As we paid them a visit, Anatoly remained always silent at my side, intently observing the pictures and quickly signing himself in the fashion of the Russian Orthodox Church, a sign of respect I highly appreciated.

Only later I decided to see my father's grave, but I had no flowers for him, only a few silent words I spoke to him in my mind: it is all in the past and let us have peace. It did not mean I was forgiving him for what happened and for his violence, because I doubt any of us would ever be able to do so; nevertheless, I wanted to settle the past and close with it. I looked at his picture and, as I averted my eyes on Anatoly, I saw him staring at the cross of the tomb with a very hard expression, his lips set into a thin line and his hands clenched in tight fists, almost shaking as he possibly recalled the events I narrated about that night. I think I understood what went through him and thus, I let my hand caress his hair. The gesture immediately had the expect effect, for he relaxed his shoulders and looked at me with a quick smile, some tension and comprehensible resentment still in his features.

"Sorry, Oleg," he murmured very quietly, and I shook my head, pulling him closer to me as my arm went around his shoulders.

"You do not need to say that, Anatoly. I do perfectly understand you and I wanted to visit his grave merely to close with my past."

"And did you manage with that?"

"Indeed, I feel more at peace and I must thank you for this," I honestly explained him, and he went to counter-debate, but I halted by giving him an assertive and firm look, my hand on the back of his neck pulling his forehead against mine, for we were completely alone. "Do not say anything, for I am only telling you how I truly feel." His eyes searched into mine and then, he gifted me with a genuine and breath-taking, soft smile. "Where would you like to go now?"

"Show me more where you played when you were a brat like me," he joked, but I saw through his real intention and quickly kissed his forehead.

"Very well, we will do so."

The days passed faster than we imagined and without realizing it, the time for our return flight arrived. I arrived here nervous and slightly afraid of what I would face, how my brother and his family would approach me; but I was about to leave taking back the feeling of once more belonging to my family, after having reconnected with him and cleared up matters of years ago. I noticed a note of very well concealed apprehension in Anatoly, as if he were afraid I would have second thoughts about travelling back to New York, for indeed I had missed these lands and my motherland. However, he did not need to worry or feel anxious, for the Denisov would always be my family and I entirely and only belonged to my incredible and very impulsive brat.

I was glad to go back home and know my brother and his family would always be ready to welcome us whenever we felt like visiting and I extended the same invitation to them, for I was sure the Denisov would have appreciated meeting them.

ANATOLY POV:

I was really glad we came here to visit his family and I was immensely grateful Oleg showed me where his mother and sister were resting in the cemetery, where his grandmother's grave was, and as final step, we stopped where his father was buried and no matter what he told me, that everything was in the past, the moment my eyes stopped at the man in the picture I felt deep and burning hate coursing in my veins. I should have not let such emotions freely run into my blood and mind, but it couldn't be helped. I had heard so much from their past, witnessed the guilt and sadness in Oleg's eyes and heart, listened to his brother's tells, and so, there was no way in hell I could control my feelings.

His father had similar strong, stone-cut features, yet very different, and there was no kindness in his eyes, nor in the way his mouth was set in a thin line. He looked older in the picture than the age he had once the photo was taken, clearly a consequence of the heavy drinking, which could be seen in the way he stared back at the camera, his eyes slightly unfocused and misty. He was not neatly shaved, and I could not believe that man was Oleg's father. Yeah, they might have shared some physical traits, but aside that, nothing else was remotely similar. If anything, they looked two complete opposites and Oleg was right in saying that the drinking only fuelled his real nature, because it was plainly there on his face.

I looked at that man and hated him for what he had done to his family, for the violent nightmare he represented to all of them, especially to my Oleg, for having beaten him up several times when he was a kid, and for much more. He had not exactly forgiven him, but simply decided to make peace with his past and not think about it anymore, to move on. I understood him and deeply respected his decision, never really voicing my thoughts or letting my state of mind being too obvious. I was sure he sort of grasped at something, but said nothing letting me reflect on my inner turmoil, just pulling me closer to him.

On the other hand, when we visited his grandmother's grave, I wished that woman was still alive, just like his mother and sister. The kindness and sweetness on their faces, especially in the old woman's eyes, resembled Oleg's kindness and softness very much, and it was clear why he had been so attached to her. We visited her burial site once more and with that, I decided to let go of the feelings of hatred I carried in my heart, wanting to do it for my incredible man; if he had wished to let go of his past, I would do the same and stand at his side no matter what.

And now, we lay on a blanket staring at the dark and vast Siberian sky, for his brother had advised us about a spot outside Barabinsk, another small town not too far from where he lived, where we could gaze at the heaven and actually see stars, being immersed in the Siberian steppe. I had already seen where Oleg grew up, the very small village that now looked almost desolate, the hardness of the land, imagining how cold it would be in winter, and once more, comprehended why he became such incredible, strong, selfless and unyielding man. It felt as if Oleg belonged to such wild yet beautiful land, and I noticed the way his eyes took in every small detail, reliving memories once more, breathing the air fully, recognising the smells the wind brought with it. I saw him closing his eyes as we walked in the places where he used to play when he was a child and I secretly took a picture of him, wanting to always keep a memory of that Oleg.

Yeah, he definitely belonged to such land and a sense of rather ridiculous insecurity crept into me as we visited those places, irrational fears clouding my mind while looking at him, but he chased them away every single time he stared back or quickly touched me. He must have missed it, yes, and we would need to visit these lands again, but he made me clearly understand he solely belonged with me and I with him.

As soon as the night wrapped her fingers around everything, my eyes widened at the view above us, which could never be seen in New York for sure, feeling my breath being sucked away at the many stars appearing one after one in the darkness, whispering to each other and to us. It was a breath-taking and unforgettable view, so beautiful that I could not utter words for a very long moment. Until, he rolled on his side and caressed my face, a tender and heart-melting smile on his handsome face.

"Thank you, Anatoly, for being here with me." There were unspoken words after what he said, but there was no need to voice them, for I understood him at first. I shook my head and pushed him on his back, pressing my lips on his, the dark Siberian sky above us, the stars gazing at us.

"You know I love you," I only replied and then, I realized I had something to tell him, a few words I carried in my heart and mind for very long time, and as I was there, in the land where he was born, in the vastness and wildness of Siberia, as his hands moved firmly on my back, I knew I could no longer wait to tell him. "I want to spend my entire life with you, because I'd be a lost brat without you and because..." I hesitated a moment, suddenly feeling shy in front of his dark and intent eyes, my boldness almost being sucked away by his magnetic and strong stare, but he smiled, and the words followed without me even realizing it, as if I were speaking under some daze. "Because you're my damn hot and amazing life-partner and I don't want anyone else besides me."

Asking him to marry me would have been less straightforward and meaningful than what I said, and I believed it did really reach him deeply in the heart and soul.

We looked into each other's eyes without saying anything for a very long silent moment, as if our souls and hearts were communicating to each other, and I could almost hear the sound of his heart beating faster, his eyes pulling me in their dark depths, and so, I find myself holding my breath, until one of his hands trailed on the back of my neck and pulled me lower on him, his lips claiming mine with such intensity my head spun, unable to remotely control the kiss. Oleg kissed me so fiercely and deeply I heard myself moaning loud in his mouth as his tongue took mine avidly, responding to my words physically. We rolled, and I was the one on my back, his strong and heavy body on mine, wrapped in each other's arms and lost in the embrace. He pulled away earning an annoyed groan from me, but I shut up as soon as I saw the way he looked at me.

"Ya tozhe tee-bya lyublyu, Anatoly," he murmured on my lips and I felt what those apparently simple words meant to really convey, an answer to my previous ones, and they punched the breath out of me, my throat feeling suddenly tight, impossible to swallow down.

Then, I was the one communicating my emotions and feelings with a demanding and wild kiss, and the only witnesses were the overwhelming dark sky above our heads, the twinkling countless stars susurrating a distant, silent song and the soft wind of the Siberian steppe whispering around us.

OLEG POV – TWO YEARS LATER:

I observed as Anatoly pushed the helmet down and cracked his neck in his usual, superstitious way, for then clenching and unclenching his hands, trying the gloves around his fingers, patting his elbows, knees and back, as if checking if every protection indeed was in the right place. I smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder, for he always wanted me there at his side whenever they were lined up ready to start the race. Other racers mostly had rather good-looking girls holding their umbrellas, some had their girlfriends and wives, and I stood at his side, not wanting it otherwise. I had to be there with him no matter what and Mr. Denisov was always very flexible and understanding when it came to his son, often being personally present. Mrs. Denisov never missed a race, no matter where they were held, and everyone in the team loved her.

"You will be fine, brat," I said with a dark smirk, for whenever he raced, his eyes were filled with unmistakable and burning adrenaline and need to win, making them shine in a way that deeply excited me. Not to mention, he was a reckless and very daring racer, which both worried me and ignited my blood in desire. "Just be careful with Delemark, because you know how he plays dirty sometimes and he definitely minds the fact you won the previous four races."

"Yeah, I saw that yesterday," he hissed out, as in their first race Jeremy Delemark almost caused Anatoly to fall, something my incredible brat saved only with his unique talent, keeping his Kawasaki in place by mere instinct. "Don't worry, he thinks he can win, but I'm telling you: I am getting this year championship no matter what." I had no doubts, for Anatoly led the ranking list, even if with only a few points apart from said adversary. "I'll kick his freaking ass today and make him pay for yesterday. I arrived second because of that shit and I'm still pissed." No doubts also about that, considered the bad and fuming mood he had since yesterday, checking his motorbike and mentally replaying the circuit over and over, swearing out loud whenever he recalled that barely avoided accident, for Anatoly hated to lose.

"I know you will," I simply said and soon, they signalled us to leave the lane. "I will be in the paddock watching every second of your race," I told him, and he nodded, his eyes smiling wickedly behind the helmet's visor.

I knew he was going to win, and it was going to be his fifth in a row, having dominated the battles on two wheels in UK, Italy and Spain. Today it was held in Laguna Seca's raceway, one of his favourites, and being in California, both his parents, his brother and his closest friends had made it, Anatoly having reserved them special seats right in the front row at the finishing line level. An obvious choice considered he planned to win this one and mark quite a distance with his opponents.

As I reached the paddocks, Mr. and Mrs. Denisov looked at me with the usual question in their eyes, the latter visibly nervous and worried after the events of yesterday. It already happened to him to fall down the motorbike, once because of his own mistake and another time due to another racer, been thrown away from the Kawasaki that acted up as a crazed and wild horse. He had been tossed to the side of the lane and badly fell, my heart stopping a moment, Mrs. Denisov grabbing my arm and holding her breath in pure fear, for Anatoly did not move for a couple of seconds, until he got up on his feet and ran to his motorbike, possibly swearing as he realized it was not possible to make it restart. He had then removed the helmet and slammed it down in seething, undiluted anger, a habit he would never lose.

Seeing him being thrown out of his motorbike in that way was not easy and I secretly feared for his safety during every race, but never confessed it to him. It would have been pointless for two simple reasons: he knew I worried for him and secondly, I sure did not want to project my state of mind on him and break the mental and physical concentration he had before each race.

"How is he?" Mr. Denisov inquired, keeping on arm around his wife's shoulders. Dmitri also wanted to be here with us, but it was not possible, so he had dropped by earlier with Aleksandr and Vincent.

"He is well and very concentrated. I believe he will win today." He nodded at my reply and Mrs. Denisov smiled, touching my arm softly. She knew what I had in mind, for I first asked them for their permission.

We concentrated on the screen inside the paddock, seeing the lights turning from red to green, witnessing how aggressively Anatoly placed himself ahead of the everyone else and took his Kawasaki to further levels, everybody of his team staring at him riding as if under some spell.

"The kid sure is crazily talented," one of the mechanics commented and patted my shoulder, giving me an amused smile. Anatoly and I never made mystery of our relationship and it seemed to be the first homosexual relationship inside the Superbike. However, nobody cared about that, for they were all surprised by the unexpected talent and raw instinct my punk showed since his first race, not to mention his rather explosive temper that had a positive impact on the way he took his motorbike, never backing away from a challenge, always trying his best to win. Yet, always being very fair and honourable. "He must be quite a handful, hmm?"

"He sure is," I replied inclining my head and he chuckled.

"It sure is a pleasure to work with him, because he damn understands his motorbike and thanks to him, we are winning." He winked and moved his eyes back to the TV-screen.

It was a real battle on two wheels fought at very high speed and danger, and a few times I held my breath in seeing how that Jeremy Delemark tried to pass him in critical points, once yet again in a rather arguable way, barely acceptable for the rules. A few swore around me and I kept completely silent, only following every second of the race as I had promised him; his parents did the same and I noticed how Mrs. Denisov could not sit and kept closed to her husband, her hand tight in his, her face expressing all the tension and fears only a mother could feel.

My brother was also a keen follower and apparently, the entire town where he lived cheered for my punk, his being Russian obviously playing quite the important factor.

Anatoly had made it to the Superbike after a few amateur races, and in a year, he demonstrated of what he was capable and a new contract with Kawasaki had been signed for a couple of years, making them extremely happy in seeing the results he delivered, in seeing the amount of fans following him around the social medias and in the races. Anatoly was highly admired and sure he was a very generous and approachable rider, always ready to give an autograph or take a picture with a fan. I liked and respected this humble side of him, and I was not the only one appreciating it. It surprised me at first, knowing his reserved and shy nature, but I understood from where it came, and it only made me love him more and more, if that was even possible.

He entered a difficult yet exciting part of the circuit, the Corkscrew section, and my eyes kept glued on the screen, seeing how he bent over the asphalt scraping it with both his elbow and knee, barely keeping the motorbike in check and then, he pulled up and sped faster, quickly eyeing behind to see where his chasers were, if the distance was enough. As he completed the eighth lap, our team signalled him the distance between him and Delemark and I could only imagine how that inflamed Anatoly. He had two remaining laps and I knew he was going to give his best and more in them. I knew he was going to risk it all and be his usual reckless and impulsive self.

None of us dared to speak during those last laps, afraid of somehow influencing his pace or concentration, because in motorbike racing the amount of superstition was very high and even Anatoly proved to be a rather superstitious rider, with all the small idiosyncratic habits he had to perform before every competition. He bent over again, from one side to another, pulled his motorbike up and burnt the asphalt, then entered the Corkscrew once more and again and again, until he entered the last lap. I concentrated my eyes on him and I knew he was going to make it. He was pushing it harder, because what happened yesterday burned his ego and pride.

He exited the last turn before the finishing line and it was as if feeling his own excitement and adrenaline, for my heart was beating faster and faster, even though people observing me would think I was entirely calm. My eyes never let go of his riding figure and a loud cry of cheering and celebration erupted in the paddock as Anatoly crossed the finishing line first, placing quite the distance between himself and his chasers. As usual, he gave quite the show: he performed a wheelie for a few seconds and then placed the front wheel down, only to stand up while still on the motorbike and encourage the public to cheer for him. Needless to say, his fans and followers were all jumping and expressing the same euphoria filling the paddock, his parents hugging each other, and the entire team celebrating. I was smiling and feeling my blood roaring in my veins and I only wanted to see my reckless punk. I was immensely proud of him.

We rushed out to meet him before the podium, where the first three riders parked the motorbikes. As soon as Anatoly arrived, after having performed a few more stunts on his Kawasaki and shaking hands with other racers, he stopped the motorbike and jumped over the barrier and threw himself on me with his helmet still on, wrapping his legs around my waist. He was not exactly light or small, quite the contrary, and his exuberance almost knocked us both on the ground. He was shouting out his cumulated excitement and letting the adrenaline try to cool down, but we both knew there was one way only and that was going to happen later this evening once we would be alone in our room.

He removed his helmet, his hair flattened by it and sweaty, yet the number of his bike visibly shaved to the sides, the 74 that he explained symbolized our names, for he told me this would have not been possible without me. He then kissed me right there without a care, still prey of his burning eagerness after the race, something at first was not very welcomed by who gave him the contract and some sponsors, but after seeing that being openly gay somehow turned the fans to a higher number and passed a good message to the media in general, they said nothing, only to keep it more private while in some countries and that was already obvious to us both. I responded to his kiss and pulled back, just to look at him.

"I fucking made it!" He shouted at me in Russian and I only nodded, staring at him with a soft smile for a couple of seconds, completely enraptured by his enthusiasm and by the love I felt for him.

"You did it, brat, and you were quite reckless, as always," I replied with my usual dark smirk and I saw it in his eyes, my same excitement and desire, the same need to be alone with him. We looked at each other for another few seconds and he let go of me, going to hug his parents and team members, who then circled around him to celebrate the fifth consecutive victory, which was going to create a wider gap in the ranking. His friends arrived soon after, for they have been granted with a special pass, and I stayed there looking at how he jumped on his brother and Aleksandr, almost throwing them both on the ground, at how River, Adrian, Sergey and Vincent patted his shoulders and hugged him, at the pictures they took together, at the journalist coming to get the first reactions and impressions after the race.

I always loved and cherished these moments in my heart, seeing him with his family, his friends and fulfilling his dreams. As he won his fifth race in a row, aware of his outstanding results in college, for Anatoly was racing and studying at the same time, always being very diligent and remaining quite on track with his exams, I decided it was the right time to ask him that, something I kept in my heart and mind for almost two years, for he would always be the only one for me, having always being the only one.

Later in the evening, after we had celebrated the victory with everyone, we retired in the room of the hotel where we stayed, and as soon as we closed the door behind our backs, we tore each other's clothes away, as Anatoly often was quite in an aggressive mood after racing, something I always loved. Sometimes, I was the one in quite a ravenous and authoritative state, for seeing him riding was always an exciting experience; but tonight, we both were very edgy and fierce, not being able to make it to the bed, first me taking him hard against the door, then him impulsively pressing me against the wall, for then stumbling on the bed. He was so intense that after reaching a sanity-shredding orgasm we had to stay in bed heavily breathing for a couple of minutes, exhausted by our love making and simply lingering in the overwhelming pleasure having rode our bodies moments earlier.

"Fuck me, Oleg, I'm not sure what's gotten into me today and what's gotten into you, too, because I'm completely done, more than usual." He said, moving on top of me and nuzzling my neck with his nose and lips.

"Did you not say you are tired?" I teased him, and he chuckled.

"I'm damn tired, believe me, I wouldn't be able to do anything now, just shower maybe," he replied, while his fingers trailed over the tattoos on my arm and side. "I just like doing this after destroying each other," he said with softer tone, letting his nose again tickle my neck, causing me to quietly laugh at that. Indeed, Anatoly loved these tender moments between us as much as I did, so one arm went around his back and my hand began to caress his hair. What I had in mind had to wait for another day, because saying those few words in an impersonal hotel room was not what I had in mind. "Is there something on your mind?" He asked pulling himself up to directly stare at me. Ah yes, Anatoly had become very good at reading into me.

"Something is on my mind, but I shall tell you tomorrow," I only answered, and he cocked his left brow, his eyes studying mine.

"Whatever, I know that getting things out of you is impossible, so have it your way." He rolled down to my side, scratching his hair that he still kept in his usual punkish way, something I doubt he would ever change. "This race really drained me, and I was glad to make that fucktard of Delemart eat my dust," he snorted and cracked his neck. No doubts indeed, for he had to win as a matter of pride and stubbornness. I smiled at that and kissed his forehead.

"Let us go shower and then, when we are back, get down on your stomach," I ordered, and he eyed me with a questioning expression. "I will give you a massage, because you will definitely need it after today."

And right after the shower, Anatoly lay down in bed and I massaged his back, neck, arms and legs, something I had learned some time ago in order to help him recover from the fatigue and stress caused by riding a motorbike at such speed and under considerable pressure and stress. He loved it and he never realized the sounds of evident pleasure he let out whenever my hands moved on his muscles, groaning out whenever I touched some spots on his back and neck, soothing his tiredness away.

"Fuck me, Oleg," he grunted out, fisting the bedsheets as I concentrated on the lower part of his back, seeing him bite into the pillow. "You're always freaking amazing at this and you turn me on right now instead of relaxing me."

"You need to rest for tonight," I ordered, and he groaned out annoyed, pushing himself up on his elbows, but I stopped him. "Anatoly listen to me and just rest down as I told you."

"But I'm horny and freaking hard," he protested, and I chuckled, causing him to throw a dark and irritated glare at me. "What are you laughing about?"

"I am also hard, brat," I told him, and his eyes widened. "What? You think I can simply massage your body, feel your muscles, move my fingers and hands on your inks using oil without getting the slightest excited?"

"You're damn good at hiding it all the time, believe me."

"Indeed, I am," I said with a smirk and he rolled his eyes.

"Impassive bastard," he snorted out.

"Impulsive brat," I replied in kind and in no time, we found ourselves in each other's arms, kissing deeply and hungrily, for long time, until we slowed it down and just let our emotions and love feel the kiss, our lips and tongues playing together. I pulled away and he blocked me by grabbing the back of my neck. "Get back, Anatoly, I am not finished."

"When I'll graduate from college, we'll go live together as you promised, right?"

"Dah, Anatoly." But there was more than merely living together, and thanks to having become Mr. Denisov's business partner, I could afford acquiring a better and far more comfortable house, which I had already seen and that I was waiting to hear his reply only before asking him to check it out together. I knew he would want to participate to it, and I had nothing against it, for that was how our relationship worked: we gave and took from each other always in equal and perfectly balanced measure.

"Do you want to race with me next week? Will you have time? I'd like to test something and only you can cope with my way of riding."

"I will be away for three days since Wednesday, but after that I will be more than willing that race with you," I said caressing his hair and staring into his clear and beautiful eyes. "We should also go away for a week or so, in order for you to rest and recharge before the race in Portugal." "Yeah, true...we'll figure something out," he smiled and pecked the tip of my nose, for then finally complying to my request and letting me finish with the massage.

MONDAY EVENING, NEW YORK:

We flew back in the morning and Anatoly decided to spend the time here at my place until Wednesday, when Mr. Denisov and I had to visit a very important client in Miami. It was the second deal and project I handled entirely on my own, proving to be very successful and profitable for Mr. Denisov's line of business, and it gave me a profound sense of accomplishment and some pride, in seeing I was meeting the high expectations he had placed on me. These achievements were possible in great part only because of Mr. Denisov's guidance, because he proved to be not only an excellent leader, but as well an impeccable and very efficient mentor. Working as his business partner gifted me with considerable further knowledge and experience: I was fortunate to be at his side.

Anatoly was sprawled on the blanket he had laid on the grass of my garden, enjoying the refreshing breeze of the evening after the long, warm afternoon July brought. He was reading a book he had recently purchased, and I sat on a chair reviewing some papers, the sky slowly turning into the beautiful dark shade of deep orange and purple, for then fading into the dimness of the evening, the first stars appearing in the sky. Anatoly put the book aside and stretched long on the blanket and, as my eyes indulged on his figure and my lips tilted up, I knew without any doubt it was the right moment.

I stood up and joined him there, surprising him with an intense kiss, pushing him down on his back and hovering above him; he moaned in my mouth as my tongue deepened in his, his fingers and nails sinking into my skin and scalp, feeling his hardness pressing against mine. However, I controlled my desire and pulled back, going to sit and he must have noticed something in my eyes, because he also sat without complaining or saying anything against it.

"Anatoly," I said, softly kissing his forehead first, and then his nose and lips, smiling. "I must ask you something."

"Tell me," he only said and, as I stared into his eyes, something in there stole my breath for a quick moment.

"We already discussed about this. Therefore, it will not come to you as a surprise or anything unexpected, being something that we desire. You told me so yourself, when we visited my brother for the first time. However, it has to be properly voiced and asked, and believe me, I had been waiting for the right moment." I noticed him swallowing down, his eyes locked on mine, almost not breathing. Yes, Anatoly had clearly told me he thought of me as his life partner, the only person he wished to spend his life with, and the same sentiment applied to me. Yet, I wanted to completely seal our bond. "As you said already to me, you also are the only person I wish to spend my entire life with and you have always been the only one, thus, Anatoly Yevgenich Denisov, would you do me the honour to become my life-partner and husband?"

He widened his eyes a moment and went to say something, but closed his mouth, as if processing my words, and then, completely taking me by surprise, he pushed me with my back on the blanket, hovering above me.

"Do you really mean it, Oleg?"

"I do, Anatoly," I replied intently staring into his eyes, a soft smile on my lips and my hands on his sides.

"Fuck yeah, then!" He burst out and immediately crushed his mouth on me, kissing me in the most intense way he ever did, communicating me his deep feelings, emotions and the entirety of his love. He broke the kiss for a short moment, only to tell me a few words. "I freaking say yes and I love you so much you have no idea." He aggressively took my mouth for another deep and quite dominating moment, until I controlled it and rolled us over, being the one on top of him. I pulled away to ask him something else, but he anticipated me, a full yet shy smile on his lips, his eyes expressing the same feelings. "When can we get married?" He fired out.

"When you will complete your studies in college and win the Superbike championship," I challenged him with my usual infamous smirk and he snorted at that, grabbing my forearms and sinking his nails in my inked skin.

"Impassive and annoying bastard," he muttered out, even though his eyes gave away the fact he was not entirely annoyed, as they were pretty much smiling.

"Reckless and impulsive brat," I replied in kind and then, I was the one claiming his mouth, letting our tongue tangle together and get lost in such heated and fierce kiss that when we broke it, we were left breathing out loudly, our eyes locked into each other's. "Spasiba, Anatoly, for you make me the most fortunate and happy man of this world." I inched closer to tenderly kiss his lips once more. "You already made me the most fortunate man long time ago, but this is more, and I believe you understand me."

"I do understand you, Oleg, and you're the one making me the luckiest man, believe me." He caressed my face and hair for some time, in complete silence and then, he spoke. "Somehow, I knew you'd make me wait like that and wait, should we tell my parents?"

"I already asked for their permission," I said, and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Of course, you did, so tomorrow we tell them, hmm? We'll tell them soon you'll be Mrs. Oleg Denisov," he mused with a smug expression, and I gave him quite a look, for he laughed out quite loud. "I'm joking obviously, I mean, we are not going to change surnames or things like that right?"

"No need for that," I replied, for Anatoly and I did not need that. "Should I call your parents and request a meeting for tomorrow?"

"Nah, let's just burst there and drop the bomb, even though I'm sure it will not really make the expected effect. Because I'm pretty sure mom knows you'd ask me today and she's probably waiting to hear my obvious reply and the details...well, not all the details," he joked with a rather amused and dark note in his voice.

"Indeed, not all the details," I agreed, and blocked his wrists as he went to pull my face against his.

"What?"

"I saw a house I would like to purchase. It is bigger and much more comfortable. However, I want to visit it with you first, to hear your opinion." He then really looked at me completely surprised and he only replied at first by nodding, finally finding his voice after a moment.

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to see it and hey, when do you want to go? Tomorrow? But wait, hey, it's going to be our house, right?"

"That is correct, Anatoly. If you will like it, obviously."

"I'm sure I will, I trust you. So, if we get the deal, we will purchase it and not just you." What had I said? I had no doubts these were going to be his words and I simply nodded, surprising him once more. "You agree without any complaining or stubborn bullshit of the sort?"

"Aside the fact that you are the most stubborn between us two," he rolled his eyes at my words, perfectly aware I was right, "I knew you would want it in this way and I find it only normal. You are a famous and very successful Superbike rider and I am your father's business partner, which means, we both support each other in everything."

"Fucking right, Oleg," he replied smiling and then he snorted out annoyed.

"What is it?"

"I'm just thinking at when we will tell my family and then yours...they'll be fine, they're normal people, just like my friends...well, somehow normal, you know what I mean, but I dread the moment we'll announce it to my parents and my brother. He proposed to his chipmunk last year, in some super corny and cheesy way, but whatever makes them happy, so I can only imagine the amount of bullshit he'll come up with this." I quietly laughed at his words and he playfully slapped my shoulder. "What the fuck are you laughing about? You know that doofus of Dima," he grunted out.

"I definitely will not mind it, Anatoly, and you seem to forget that he still controls what he says in front of me." He reasoned over that and a devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

"Damn right, he still keeps his trap shut with you." I observed him for a few seconds in complete silence, recalling what he said about my family, the fact he immediately thought of them even if he met them only twice so far, and I loved him for that. "So, tomorrow we get it done with everyone and let them have their fun? Bastard, you'll be then away for three days and you'll see how Dima will drive me insane."

"Tomorrow sounds very good, we could invite them over for lunch instead of bursting there, as you put it." He smiled and something else came to my mind, which I realized he had not noticed. "Anatoly, in case you do wonder, I have no ring for you, because truth be told, it felt unnecessary and misplaced, for we both already discussed it and I believe it will be good to only have the wedding one, is that OK with you?"

"Yeah, I definitely wouldn't like an engagement ring or whatever the hell, because Oleg: you and I are already bonded, and our inks already symbolize our relationship in this way. I mean, you know me quite well and you guessed it right, again." I was immensely glad to hear those words, because they meant I had really understood him well and interpreted his thoughts at the best. I might have been the one to ask those words, but in fact, we had already said it to each other time ago. "But you know what?" His tone of voice suddenly changed, and it reflected the playfulness of his eyes.

"What?"

"We can celebrate it by destroying each other in bed, by fucking the light out of each other," he murmured with raw and dark voice on my ear, his hand moving on my ass and then on my front, going to grab my hardness. "What do you say?" He provoked, and he had no idea what his words and the way he pronounced them moved inside of me. I only smirked, for then getting on my feet and drawing him up with me, my hands on his incredibly arousing ass, pulling him up, and his legs wrapped around my waist strongly.

"You asked for it," I said with unmistakable voice and he smirked back. Indeed, he had asked for it.

I walked us both inside the house, to my bedroom, and we dropped on the bed, our clothes soon discarded on the floor, and we spent the entire night making love.

Author's chit-chat:

What do you think of this chapter? What are your first impressions, thoughts, feedbacks, comments and feelings? It was a very full one, right?

The first part I think was good-feeling and necessary to show a very happy and light moment of Anatoly with his friends, showing how the group expanded, having a Travis-episode.

Talking about our Travis, did you enjoy the dancing scene with Tolya? He had fun in the end 😊 and I am leaving some hints here and there for my next stories.

As for the visit in Russia, I think you all waited for that and I hope you really enjoyed it as it was; it gave me the chance to show a new aspect in Oleg and Anatoly, if you have noticed, and it was necessary for our hot bastard, to close with his past. Did you like the trip? What about his family? Yeah, you will have to search a bit on the map to find the places.

What about Oleg's diminutive?

Btw, our Tolya is a charmer, isn't he?

Then, of course I had to have the racing part about Anatoly and his dream coming true, because I want to treat my characters well, after the long, trying journey they had.

Finally, I think we all knew that the marriage proposal was going to happen in this calm and Anatoleg's way, right? Anatoly saying something first while in Russia and Oleg taking the final step once his brat reached certain goals. Very typical, I believe, don't you agree?

Did you have a favourite part in the chapter or something you enjoyed more than the rest?

All in all, did you enjoy the chapter? Let me know with your lovely and amazing comments! Thank you!

Now, quick news: I will write a separated one-shot regarding the use of the famous tie with Oleg and Anatoly, and I will begin it next week. I already have the title and the cover 😊This is the best way to "celebrate" such rather important moment.

Then, I am working on the epilogue which I hope to post next weekend, maybe along with CH. 2 of "Beyond Those Irresistible Eyes". After this, we will be done with "Loving You is Forbidden" and new stories will follow. But don't be sad: Anatoly will not leave us, because we will see a lot of him in Viola/Sergey, Adrian/Vincent and of course, River/Nicholas. After all, we discovered he is a wonderful, caring friend.

Once more, THANK YOU very much for your love, kindness, support and patience. You are all FANTASTIC!

Lots of Love, Magic, Hugs & Meows,
-TheWitchAndTheCat-