Time for some fun, Leed style! Song for this chapter is I Like You by Ben Rector. There are other songs in the chapter, also, but most of them might be more familiar to you than this one, which is kind of Leed's theme for the night...
Ashlynn
Leed is up to something. We're supposed to be getting ready for our trip to LA, but I'm getting the feeling that is not happening, because he's adding way too many layers for sunny SoCal. So far, he's added a red fleece pullover, a black grey puffer vest, and a very soft, red, black and white cashmere scarf.
Not to his person. To mine. I'm trying to pack a small bag for an overnight trip like he asked me to, but every few seconds, Leed whirls me around like a rag doll and shoves another piece of outerwear on me.
As he loops the scarf around my neck and blouses it artistically, I say, "Dressing me would be so much more fun if you were doing it in reverse."
"Later," he winks and tosses me an open box with a pair of the most darling shearling leather hiking boots inside. With black and red laces. "Put those on, babe."
I'm trying not to look at the price tag on any of this stuff, but the boots are Rag and Bone—a very good brand. "Leed...did you have Tamara buy this stuff? On her date with her husband?"
"Jesus, Sunshine, give me some credit. Of course not. I had Janie buy it. Online with my card. She loves me now," he runs a hand through his hair. "I think it's the new 'do."
"All women love you," I assure him.
He pouts. "Not your sister."
"That's a good thing, babe."
He rolls his eyes. "Not really. She could do me a solid and pretend to be a little bit in love with me. You know, just to spare my feelings..."
I shake my head in disbelief. "Joely is right. Thinks he's God's gift..." I mumble, working my foot into the boot.
"What?"
"Nothing," I say quickly, because he is God's gift—to me. He's an absolute angel that has washed away my struggles, and I don't even mind his arrogance, because it's just so flippin' cute on him. But like Joely said, I have to keep him in line—a little. "Look here, Lawson...what's going on? I don't need boots like this for LA."
He drops down in front of me and puts his hands on my knees. "I'm aware. I have some very bad news, Sunshine. California finally fell into the ocean. No LA to go back to."
I give Leed my sternest expression. I'm aware with each passing day that Leed is making more and more disparaging remarks about LA and waxing more and more nostalgic on his Southern roots. I think he's seriously thinking about a second home down South. Mac and Adam are strongly encouraging him to drink the Heartley kool-aid and look for a place in Nashville, but Leed is dismissive of that idea, because why would he need a place in Nashville when he feels perfectly content to crash indefinitely at the Madam Mansion when the spirit so moves him? Leed keeps talking about Atlanta, or even Chattanooga which is halfway in between Atlanta and Nashville.
I'm not sure he's thought his plan through.
Trace is firmly set on taking LA by storm in the coming spring, and my sister plans to be right in the middle of his rock star mayhem. Which means Ben's job will definitely continue to be in LA and if Ben is there, that's where Tam and Ollie will be, too.
Which might put a damper on Leed's idea to live like a nomad between family in Atlanta and family in Nashville and business in LA, because Leed will definitely expect to share custody of Ollie. I'm not sure Tamara will be comfortable with her baby being bicoastal.
And besides...Leed is on the hook to be seen in LA. Plus, I have my practice with Ravi, that I've barely just begin. I want to study with him for at least a year before considering another Yogi or holistic teacher. But of course, I might be getting ahead of myself in that line of thought. Leed's not asking me to move anywhere with him. He's just talking about buying property, I guess. And anyways, he's perfectly free to live anywhere he wants, even if I need to be in LA right now, most of the time. We're dating...we're not living together.
If I'm honest, I think Leed's interest in spending more time down South is only partly motivated by Madam, Lennon, and Bodie's presence here. I think the bigger part of it is his intuition.
Maybe without even realizing it, Leed is cooling on LA because of me. Or maybe because of him. Here in Nashville, Leed and I haven't spoken of him or my past once, since the night I bared it all. Here, we can exist in bliss without it disturbing us. Although I tried to keep the details vague, Leed is a very smart and intuitive man, and I'm sure he realizes from what I said that my former Dom resides primarily in the City of Angels. It's why he doesn't want to be there right now—because I won't name my abuser. In LA, Leed will be looking at every arrogant, dominating man he sees as a potential suspect.
Maybe it's not fair of me to keep my secret from Leed...but the consequences of telling could be even worse.
I put a hand through Leed's very very sexy messy hair. "I know you don't want to go back to LA yet, but it's just a quick trip and we promised Gabe."
"Aha, but it seems the Golden Boy can't deliver on his promises." Leed pulls out his phone and shows me a text from Gabe. The studio has had hundreds of people calling about the class, and though he has limited the class size, there is already a line of Leed's fangirls outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Not to mention paparazzi.
"Gabe says the crowd is scaring away his clients and he thinks it's best we cancel the class for tonight until the hype dies down. He asked me what I thought the best course of action was." Leed looks like a guilty little boy. "I gave him an honest answer..."
I tug on his hair. He bats his eyes at me.
"You had him cancel the class indefinitely!?!?!"
"Well, more like I suggested he fire us as the demonstrators," Leed grins. "Well, at least me, but I won't be thrilled if you get another partner..."
"Leed!" I slide off the bed onto his lap, a little irritated. That really wasn't his call. Gabe asked me to demonstrate. I asked Leed to be my partner. Why is he calling the shots now? I try to think of a way to explain that to him. "Look, that was my gig, that I got...I don't want to do it without you, but you should have talked to me first..."
He rubs my back. "I know, baby. You're right. But...I didn't think that high-profile thing through. For you, I mean. I just wanted to make you happy by being your acro partner, but in the long run, I don't think it will work out that way. You are going to be teaching classes there, right? If I'm showing up there all the time for acroyoga, the circus will never end for you there. That's not cool, for you to be trying to go to work and have to fight off jealous fangirls and paparazzi, too, or even participants that aren't really there to learn from you, but are just hoping to catch a glimpse of me being your boyfriend and bringing you Starbucks and shit. I need to lie low from there, so you can have a normal work situation. So that it really can be your gig. So that you can do meaningful work."
"Oh." I rub his shoulders. "I didn't think about all that."
"I know, because this is all new. I didn't think either. But I see now, it's part of my job as your man to make sure that my fame doesn't cause too much static for you," he kisses me on the nose. "I don't know much about dating, and even less about it with all my added fame bullshit, but I look at Matt and Marianne, and I think...it only works if you feel empowered as an individual, you know?"
He blinks, without guile, with an open face. My heart is clenching and trying to expand at the same time. This man is so confusing sometimes. He says he doesn't believe in marriage or promises, yet he's looking toward the most rock solid marriage in all of rocknroll as an example for how to build a relationship?
I struggle for something diplomatic to say.
"That's...a really good point, Leed. Thank you for thinking about my job there." I press my lips to his cheek, and he responds by catching my mouth with a few sweet closed-mouth caresses. Which is way hotter than it should be, but even his tenderness is incredibly arousing to me.
He trails the kisses over to my ear. "But I won't lie and say I'm not super psyched that we don't have to go to LA today, because do you know what that means?"
I pull back, squint one eye and then the other, playfully putting a crooked pointer finger in my mouth like I'm thinking. "Let's see. Does it mean...it's finally Friday, Lion?"
"Yaaaaaaaasssss!" Leed roars. Now all tenderness is gone as he shakes me crazily side to side, pretending to be a lion, growling and nipping at my throat, while I squeal and pretend to fight beneath his onslaught. Then he pulls back abruptly. "Well, no. I mean, obviously it's still Wednesday. But you're feeling me. We're moving Date Night up, Sunshine."
"Or we could just call it Do It Day," I giggle.
"Or we could call it our Magic Moment," he gives me that tender, close-mouthed smile.
"You know what would really be magic? If you could regrow your hair like that," I snap my fingers.
"You don't get to tease me about my hair, because yours is too gorgeous. I might snatch it from you," His fist suddenly twists in my hair, tugging sharply, then releasing. His fingers rise to gently massage the scalp he just electrified with his rough pull. My breath catches, my heart races and I'm suddenly aware of the heat between my legs. How does he do that? Strum the perfect chord of aggression and tenderness that sings to my soul?
"It's not fair, you know..." I whisper breathlessly. "I told you all my sub secrets and now you are using them against me..."
Both his hands take my head, which is putty now. "Against you? No, baby. I never want to hurt you. I don't want to play too rough—and I'm not just talking about sex. I don't want to mind-fuck you, either. I'm not him. I'm not a sadist or a psycho. But I'm also not a boy who will leave you longing for something...harder. Something more disciplined. Something that gets you higher. It's going to be fucking hot, this thing we are building. I promise you...we are going to have so much fun."
His low-toned words and the way he's scraping his fingers through my scalp, twining and teasing my hair at the roots—I don't even realize I'm beginning to rock on his lap until he stills my hips. "Tonight, I promise, baby. But I've got a fun day planned and we've got to get out of this room right now, before I lose my mind and fuck you senseless right here on the floor." He dumps me gently off his lap as he rises, and smiles down at me, offering me his hand.
I'm sprawled on the floor making a guttural, resentful sound in the back of my throat, but I slap my hand in his. He pulls me up. To my surprise, he still grabs our bags.
"Wait...we're not going to LA," I protest.
"Nope, but we're not staying here," he quips. "It's a much shorter flight."
"And where do you think you are going, young lady?" Adam drawls from the kitchen counter, looking up from his coffee and Ipad as Leed and I try to move quietly toward the mud room and to our airport transport.
I blink at him. He grins. "Just practicing. I figure it will be better to catch Lennon sneaking out than sneaking in."
I laugh at Adam. He's loving his new life. He's finally found his heart and his place, and it's so good to see, after watching he and Mac suffer through the growing pains of their love.
"Yeah, speaking of that..." Leed claps him on the back. "Don't wait up. We've had a change of itinerary, and we're definitely planning to get a little lost tonight. We'll be back in a couple of days. Probably. Unless we decide to head back to LA from...parts unknown," he winks at me, still refusing to give me a hint as to where we are going.
Adam salutes with his coffee cup. "I didn't even see you leave, man. I ain't taking the blame from my baby momma or yours for you sneaking away without good-byes."
I bite my lip, looking up at Leed. "Where is everybody anyway? It's noon. Everyone should be up by now. Maybe we should wait to say good-bye to everyone."
"Naw," he says. "I put Ollie to bed last night and said my goodbyes to the little man then. Tam knows we had a flight out today. They are leaving tomorrow. I've got Ollie next week when they head to Hawaii. It's all good. Unless you feel like you need to say good-bye to Kat—"
"I'll text her and explain," I say quickly just as anxious to escape with Leed as he is with me.
———————
The tiny prop plane we are taking makes me a little nervous. I've never ridden in anything but a large jet, and this plane is loud and the turbulence is rougher than I'm used to. Leed senses my unease and holds my hand, kissing each one of my fingers. "We're safe, Sunshine. We use this company all the time. Impeccable safety record. And clear weather. It's all good."
"Does anything ever scare you?" I whisper. His expression darkens slightly.
"Yes," is all he says, and I can't help but feel like maybe the only thing that scares Leed is...himself. I don't want to make him think about dark things so I change the subject.
I smile sweetly. "Are we going to Athens?"
His eyes flare in irritation. "No. We are not going to Greece."
I slap his arm slightly. "But we are going to Athens, Georgia, right?"
"How did you know?" he exclaims.
I tickle his nose with my new cashmere scarf. "Well obviously we aren't going very far in this small plane. And Janie ruined your surprise. I'm dressed in your alma mater's colors. Head to toe."
His eyes go wide as he takes in my outfit. "Damn that woman and her adherence to southern tradition. I didn't even realize..." he regroups. "Yes. We are going to Athens."
"What are we doing there?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Well...it's not football season..."
"No. Do you like football?" he asks.
"Of course, I'm a Southern Girl. Do you not like football?" I ask, incredulous.
He shrugs with a mildly arrogant toss of his head. "I'm a rock star. I think there are better uses of a stadium that seats eighty thousand people."
I laugh. This man—the way he thinks, the way we banter—I adore him. "If you're the star on the field, I agree. I'm dying to see you perform live."
He grins. "You've never actually been to a Soundcrush show, have you?"
I shake my head.
"We're going to have to correct that. Real soon," he smirks. " Any more annoying guesses about our date?"
"Well, we're probably not taking a campus history tour..."
"Only nerds like you think that stuff is fun," he teases me.
"Okay, is there a music festival going on?"
"Nope."
I frown. I doubt Leed would take us bar-hopping. Athens is the birthplace of Soundcrush. Four years ago, they were playing the downtown bars. Leed is well aware of what would happen if he we tried to go out tonight in Athens. It definitely would not be a "date." He would get mobbed by old friends in the bar scene and well meaning fans. He would probably end up being dragged onstage a dozen times and taking thousands of pictures.
Maybe he's taking me to some really important place in the history of Soundcrush? Like where he met Trace? Or where he was when he found out they were getting signed?
"I have no more specific guesses. I'm just happy to be going somewhere you love. Somewhere important to you."
He brushes my cheek with his thumb. "You are right. It's somewhere very special to me."
We land, and the standard black luxury sedan with the standard stoic driver is waiting for us. Leed is texting a lot on his phone, and he tells the driver we are a little early—to give us a tour through downtown. Leed does point out the first place Soundcrush played, and also the Georgia Theater—the place they now play when they come "home," but we don't stop at these places.
We stop at a light. I point out a poster of Leed taped in the window of a record store--because Athens is the kind of place that still has cool record stores. In the poster, Leed is shirtless, his lean frame thrown across a gothic throne before a tapestried background. He's covered in tats and medieval jewelry, his lionine mane is vibrant, and his eyes are heavy with kohl. He's looking at a crown hung from the tip of his finger. His expression is bored, disdainful, and yet he looks very very sexy. No. Not just sexy. Completely fuckable.
He just shakes his head. "It's weird to see that here. That particular shot was a complete accident, you know. The director of the shoot wanted me to wear the fucking thing."
"And that was your reaction? To refuse?"
He nods. "Oh no, I wore it, but what I thought about it showed on my face . That turned out to be a far better shot."
"You don't want to be a king," I say softly, in understanding.
"Only two hours a night. I just want to go out on that stage and feel forty thousand people feeling amazing, feeling me. I want that part to go on forever. That's what I do it for, now—and I'm willing to play the game to keep it going. To be honest, at first, I was only in this for the ease it would bring. Trace was the artist. He could afford to be. I could not. I was flat busted, and when I got a taste of what Soundcrush could be, the life we could have, I was determined to make it happen for us. Maybe even more determined than Trace. He would never have sacrificed the music, and fortunately we got hooked up with Moran, so we didn't have to. But me? I would have done anything. Prostituted myself in any way. I was that desperate."
I put my hand in his. "What did you do with your first check?"
"Paid off my student loans. Bailed my dad out of debt, bought him a small place. After the first tour, when the money really started rolling in, I put some money aside for my mom—who still won't take it—and started acquiring the rockstar life."
I squeeze his hand. "Mac gets her stubbornness from your mom, huh?"
He smiles, and points out a bar. "That's where I met Tam. Bodie was my pen pal when I got first got to UGA and he sent me with a letter of introduction to Tam's dad, because I needed a job, and he owned a bar. I couldn't serve, but his dad hired me to clean the place top to bottom on Sundays."
"Wait...what? Pen pal? You and Bodie were pen pals?"
Leed shrugs ruefully. "Yeah. He was in lock-up for two years. He needed somebody to talk to."
"What?" I exclaim. "I never heard that."
"Cause it was juvi and his record is sealed. I had met him back when were like...sixteen. We worked a landscaping crew together. But he was also dealing and he got caught with a case full of blow in a raid. When he went to jail, he was...bored, I guess. Started writing me letters that summer. I was in Utopia, I didn't have shit to do either, so I wrote back. That's how we became best friends. While he was in there...he did online learning and graduated in six months. Then he took a bunch of college credits. And when he got out, he wanted nothing more to do with his old crew. He came down to Athens and stayed with Tam's family and walked through the doors at UGA with more credits than most sophomores. We moved in together shortly after that, and I found out he had also become a kick ass drummer in juvi. They had this music therapy program, and what time he didn't spend on school work, or writing me, he spent drumming. He could beat out any kind of rhythm...hip-hop, rock, jazz, reggae, country, folk...it's really too bad that out of all of us, his musicianship is the most overlooked. Well, him and Adam. They lay down the rhythm that defines us, you know?" He doesn't stop for response, but continues narrating. "Oh...and see that coffee shop? That's where I met Trace the second week of school my junior year. I did open mic night there, and little freshman Trace came in and heard me singing. Said he was thinking of starting a band and bringing alt-rock back. Like that's all it would take. I liked his cocky style..."
I follow Leed's finger pointing out the places of his past, absorbing the sights and his memories. I know that no matter how much time Leed and I spend together, how far we go, I'll always remember this day. It's bigger than Leed bringing me home to his family, bigger than Leed telling me he loves me, even. He's sharing his life with me. He's throwing open his doors and showing me how he became the man I fell in love with.
We ride through the campus and Leed tells more stories...mostly Soundcrush stories, but a few of him and Bodie before the younger members of the band came to UGA. Finally we leave the historic streets behind and cruise through a run-down housing area that has not been regentrified. When he pulls up at a tiny white house with peeling paint and bars on the windows, he says, "and...I'm sort of hoping you'll remember this place."
"It's where you and Bodie lived. It's where we met." I say, my heart full of the memory. How handsome and arrogant he seemed in the midst of the party, but how genuine his smile seemed when he looked at me.
To my surprise, the driver stops and Leed comes around to open my door.
"Come on, let's meet the kids who live here now."
Something tells me this isn't a random stop.
A girl with long dark hair opens the door and stares at Leed with a rather stoic face. "Holy Shit," she whispers. "It is really you. I didn't believe it. I thought somebody was pranking us."
"Nope. It really is me. Like I said, I used to live here." Leed says, then he turns to me. "Ashlynn, this is Mia. She lives here now with..." Leed frowns, searching for a name.
"Kallie!!!" Mia screams in answer. Another girl with curlier, darker hair comes out of the hall on the left. "Damn. I told you it might be true." She comes forward. "I thought you said Friday." She shrugs a little helplessly, gesturing around. "Sorry, we didn't clean yet."
Leed looks around the room. There are a few cups and a couple of pizza boxes, but it looks nothing like the party place it used to be. He laughs. "Don't be sorry...shit...this is cleaner than I've ever seen the place. Yeah, I'm sorry we are a couple days early, but I did sent you like five texts, letting you know..." He flops down on a large leather sofa that has duct tape covering a few rips. "Hey, you still have my couch! Somebody in a fancy house put it on the street on trash day, and Bodie and I carried it here, cause we didn't have any other way to transport it. It was like, three miles and that bitch is heavy."
"That was your sofa?" Mia whispers. "Jace never said, when we bought it from him."
"Yep, Jace moved in after me, and I gave it to him. He sold it to you?"
They nod. "A hundred bucks."
Leed tsks. "That motherfucker."
The girls look a little shocked. I suppress a smile. They remind me of me. I mean, the old me. Trace was the only person I had ever heard call anyone a "motherfucker" casually, like some else might say "jerk."
Leed leaps back up and goes over to the wall by the kitchen. He takes a knife from the counter and pries on the top of the baseboard. A small section pops off, revealing a hole cut in the drywall at the bottom of the wall. He leans down, reaches inside and pulls a rather large wooden box from the hiding place. The kind of box guys like Leed keep their weed in.
"You ladies smoke?" he asks.
They blush and shrug.
He grins. "I'll take that as a yes, sometimes." He opens a metal tin, sniffs, smiles. "Still fairly fresh. I loved that little humidor." He walks to the kitchen and finds a sharpie. He signs his name on the inside of the lid more legibly than he signs most autographs. "I knew there was a reason I didn't give this box to that stupid shit Jace. You ladies, are now the proud owners of my Stash Box. Soundcrush was smoking from this kit the night the arrangement for Little Sister gelled into place. Take a picture with me to prove its authenticity." He wags his fingers and Mia dutifully snaps a pic. Then he rehides it. "I'm not feeling that kind of party tonight so let's just tuck it away. After I'm gone, use it, or sell it, I don't care. Sorry Jace sold you my free couch," he shakes his head. "What a fucking douche."
These girls are absolutely confounded at Leed's casual intrusion of their home, and the bequethment of his drug paraphernalia. They look at me, like I'm the person holding the ties to his straight jacket.
"He's perfectly sane," I assure them. "He's just really nice and really eccentric."
"Oh," Kallie smiles looking at Leed and giggling. "Okay. He seems that way on stage, I just wasn't sure..."
"So Ladies," he continues, putting his arms around the two girls, loving the audience. "Do you see this beautiful woman I've brought with me? She's my girlfriend—recently, unofficial in the press right now—but I met her five years ago, in this very house. Ashlynn, baby—will you go stand right there, at the end of the couch. And glare at the wall where Trace was corrupting Little Sister so they can see just how you looked the night I met you?"
I shake my head at his ridiculousness, but Mia asks, "Oh my god, Little Sister was here, too?"
"Little Sister is Ashlynn's actual little sister," Leed notes. "You must not be keeping up with TMZ. Which is good actually, that means you chics are probably cool and have actual lives and shit," he squeezes them and they laugh and smile, with more genuine emotion than they've shown yet. The shock of Leed's appearance is wearing off and he's winning them over like he does with every one.
"Wait...so Trace was seeing your sister five years ago?" Kallie asks, now feeling free enough to want the gossip.
"No, I just brought her down for a visit that one time. I had friends I was visiting and she tagged along. He gave her a beer. That's what Leed meant by corrupting." Gracious, Leed sure is free with the information. Suddenly I'm wondering if I should take these girls information down for Sawyer to follow up with NDA's.
"Enough about Trace and Little Sister," Leed says breezily. "This night was about me and my beautiful girl. Except it wasn't. It got all messed up and didn't turn out the way it should have. So we're taking a Mulligan."
"A what?" both girls say.
"A Mulligan. You know, a do over," says a feminine, cheerful, very familiar voice from outside on the porch. Suddenly Mac is bustling in through the open door with about a dozen grocery sacks and Adam is right behind her with a couple dozen more.
"Why do I always have to bring the party shit?" she snarks at Leed, but her smile is brilliant.
"Cause you're the girl. It's your job to get the groceries," he sneers back, his sarcastic tone completely at odds with his look of joy.
"Fuck you, I have twice the balls that you do, Brother," she beams and then jumps up and down. "This is so fun!" She nudges me with her hip as she passes by to the kitchen. "Pollyana. You can't recognize a set up when you see one. We were all already at the airport with a private jet. Adam stayed behind so you wouldn't suspect and sped ahead of you. So we would have time to go to the Wal-Mart for ice and incense and tortilla chips and red solo cups."
"Let's get that sandalwood fired up and the keg tapped and this fucking party started," Adam grins. "Lennon's in the limo with Page and Mac will have to feed her in about two hours..."
My sister bounces through the door and screams at me. "Surprise! We're all crashing your date!!!" She hugs me wildly as Trace and Adam's brother-in-law Tyler bring in the aforementioned keg. "Here—this is for you," Kat thrusts a bottle of ginger ale at me. "This time, don't bitch at me for having a beer, okay?"
More Heartley's are piling in, and Riley follows behind. "I'm Bodie's stand-in, I guess," he shrugs. "I understand he sat on the couch all night and watched a basketball game?" he flops down dejectedly and reaches for the remote. Trace is already assessing the music situation. "You girls can pump the sound out. Good." He turns it up.
"Dude, I really thought you were joking about throwing a party here!" Kallie yells to Leed. "I know you told us to invite people, but we...we didn't..."
"I never joke about parties, Kallie!" he yells back over the music. "Get your friends on the phone and tell them Soundcrush is in the house!" Leed says as he turns up the girls' stereo louder. He dances over to me, doing a high paced shuffle to the techno song that is blaring. He grabs my hand and I find myself automatically timing the beat and jumping in with him.
"Wow baby, you can dance!" Leed laughs.
I find myself laughing too. "Leed...this is...crazy."
"You said you wanted magic. I'm turning back time for us, baby!"
———————————
Two hours later, it does seem a lot like the first night I met Leed. The place is packed with partiers, just like five years ago. Trace has Kat backed up against a wall, just like five years ago. Mac and Adam disappeared just like last time, although I think it was to check on Lennon. Leed is across the room, giving me the same heated look as last time, while I stand here at the end of the couch.
Some things are different though. Leed and I danced and jumped around like lunatics for about half an hour, and that didn't happen last time. Trace and Kat and I joked, and that definitely didn't happen last time. Mac and Adam returned and now she is sitting in his lap on the couch and they are in serious conversation with Riley, and he wasn't even here last time. There's no bong like last time—no drugs at all at this party, which is weird, so I'm thinking the driver that has nonchalantly placed himself at the door is the reason for that. Leed is not drinking beer from the keg, but having a diet soda in his red solo cup, talking to a guy named Rolo, who came in the back door with a brown sack and delivered it to Leed. Leed is shaking his head a lot at Rolo, but also grinning a lot and laughing with the sketch-looking dude.
I guess because I seem like the most approachable member of the SCIC, I'm surrounded by a number of fangirls and quite a few serious admirers of Soundcrush's music, trying to answer their questions about all things Soundcrush without giving away any state secrets. Leed's eyes meet mine for about the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes. This time he gives me the amazingly seductive chin tip and I find myself excusing myself from the group as my feet move me toward him.
"Catch you later, man," Leed says casually and Rolo wanders off as I approach. To my surprise, Leed draws me over to the small kitchen island and pulls a lime out of the bag, placing it on the cutting board, rolling it beneath his palm.
"Having fun, being the center of attention?" he asks.
"Pfffft, they are all just a little too intimidated to approach you guys, is all." I say. I point to a blue-haired girl. "Watch out for that one, though. She'll jump you if she gets one more beer in her."
"You better stick close and defend your territory, then," he says. He picks up a knife and positions it on the fruit, preparing to cut, but he's smiling at me.
"You know what? You better cut it this time, because I still can't take my eyes off you. You look more beautiful tonight than the first time I saw you."
I take the knife from him, and examine the one inch scar on the side of his right pointer finger. I place a soft kiss on it. I hear his breath intake sharply, and I know we both are thinking of my scars. There is no mulligan that can resolve them, but I refuse to let them hold me back anymore. I slice the lime.
"Well, you are exactly the same sexy flirt," I say lightly. "It's amazing I was able to say no to you last time." I slice the lime into wedges.
"You gonna be so cruel this time?" he asks. "Are you gonna shoot me down again when I ask you drink this incredible bottle of tequila that is twice as expensive for having the alcohol removed?" He pulls out another fancy hand-painted bottle with brightly colored skulls on it.
"No," I say, smiling at the limes.
"No, you don't want to drink the tequila? I swear it's alcohol free, just like the champagne," he frowns.
"I mean, no, I won't shoot you down," I assure him.
"Then let's get out of here," Leed says, fishing a set of keys from the brown paper bag, and then putting the tequila, limes and salt back in. Just like last time, he takes me by the hand and leads me through the back door.
When he strolls toward an old gray sedan with a fading paint job on the hood, I stop.
"Is that?"
"My old Toyota? Yeah. Took me a while to track it down. Rolo helped me get it back," he says. "Months ago, you said you wished our first kiss had been in that car, not at rehab. I wanted to give you that, Ashlynn. Your Corolla Kiss."
A feeling I can't describe rains down through me. Adoration, for this man who makes meaning from the little things.
"You were so wrong," I whisper as we walk toward the car. "When you told me you didn't know how to make magic."
"I didn't before. You are my muse. For the music, and the magic." He opens the door for me. I settle in. The car is very clean on the inside; he must have had it detailed. I run my hand over the shiny dash as he slides in and turns over the ignition. It cranks with no effort. He looks so happy. "I had her engine overhauled." He guns it in park and it revs smoothly. "Damn. She never sounded like that before."
"How old is she?" I ask lightly as he sets up the bar on the dash, just like last time.
"Twenty-two years old. I had her for about..." he bobble his head, figuring, "Six years, I guess? But she never left me anywhere," he says proudly, running his hand around the steering wheel.
"But enough about my other woman," he purrs. "Let's do a shot. That's how it went, isn't it?"
He pours two shots out, while I salt my wrist for him. I place the lime in my teeth and give him my most devilish look.
"Ahhhh, some things have changed. My Sunshine is more experienced," he murmurs, pulling my wrist to him and sucking off all the salt voraciously before knocking back the tequila. I lean toward him and he grabs my head, bites the lime, and holds my jaw, preventing me from turning the lime-grabbing into a kiss.
"Not. Yet." His words are quiet but precise.
"Kiss me," I wheedle, loving the feel of every single one of his fingers pressed against my face. I place my hand over his wrist, and pull his head closer with my other hand.
"You're a fucking siren when you are turned on, aren't you, baby?" He pulls his head out of my grasp easily. "That's not how it went. We each did a shot. Your turn." While still holding my jaw, he shakes some salt out on the bag and trails his fingers through it. He traces my lips with salt. I lick as he watches with burning eyes. He angles the shot to my lips, tipping my head back for me, still holding me firmly by my jaw. I'm swallowing and burning everywhere and then he's pulling my face down, pressing the lime between my lips, pushing his salty fingers in behind.
"Suck," he demands.
God. Nothing has ever been good as Leed force-feeding me fake tequila shots and demanding I suck salt off his fingers. I bite down on the lime and his fingers too, greedy for juice and salt and the taste of Leed's skin.
When he takes the lime from my mouth, I'm panting. Leed is perfectly still but burning a hole through me with his gaze.
"That was hot," I gasp.
"As fuck," he growls.
He closes his eyes, taking a moment to master himself. When he opens them, he looks more serene.
"We played a game next. But before we get to the fun...I want to be real for a second..." his face is moving towards mine. "I want to say what I didn't say the last time. I should have told you...I like everything about you. Every single thing I had learned that far. I should have asked you for the chance to keep learning." All the aggression that made me pant moments ago is gone. Now he's cupping my face softly, holding my cheeks with a feather touch. "I should have asked you for the chance to turn like into...this." His lips meet mine.
Leed wears his heart on his lips. When he sings, and when he kisses. He gives me such a balance of tenderness and passion that I feel his love for me. Tears involuntarily rise at the power of what's between us. I even sob a little. He doesn't mind. He just keeps taking my mouth until he owns it.
I am lost in the wonder that I am still, after all these kisses he's given me, completely unprepared to be kissed like this. A wonderful thought occurs to me: maybe I never will be.
When he finally slows our kiss, he clears his throat slowly.
"Shit," he croaks. He's tilting his head up, blinking and rubbing his eyes. That's when I realize, he's that moved, too. It wasn't just me, crying through our kiss. It nearly brought him to tears, too.
I have no desire to tease him about it, though. He's so beautiful, the way his emotions are wide open. My heart seeks a way to lighten the moment, let him off gracefully.
"I guess I should have told you before the kiss. I have a boyfriend," I say sweetly.
His laugh is a little shaky as he tries to regain his composure. "Yeah? Is it serious?" He remembers too, exactly what we said that night.
"I hope so," I say softly, altering our lines.
He presses another kiss to my forehead. "This boyfriend of yours...he would be a fool to ever let you go."
Then in the way that Leed Lawson can turn on a dime, he picks up another lime and sucks it while he pulls his wallet from his pocket. He fishes a fifty dollar bill out and puts it on the dash. He spits the lime out the window.
"When you met me, that's about how much money I had to my name," he says softly.
"I didn't care about that," I say gently.
He smiles at me gently. "Only because you were beautiful and pure and...a little bit naive. You still are in some ways, Ashlynn. I have more money than one person should ever be able to spend, but now I have...other burdens than poverty. If you stay with me, they will be your burdens, too."
He means fame. He means the obligations of being a touring, hardworking rock star that doesn't get the luxury of a stable home life. Maybe he even means his obligations to negotiate with Tam, because I know he doesn't consider Ollie a burden. Maybe he's worried about his long-term health, because of his diabetes. Maybe he has other things he hasn't shared with me. I'm not sure where he's going with this, so I just wait for him to speak again. Because it doesn't matter to me. If he can accept my past, I can shoulder the burdens of his present and future.
He shakes his head, almost like he's changed his mind about what he was going to say. "But those aren't things we have to think about tonight. Tonight, we are young. Tonight we are free. We can do anything. We can go anywhere." He grins. "Well, anywhere that fifty dollars can take us."
I laugh. "So you do want to play a game, then. Fifty dollar date night?"
"Hey, if we are really starting over, that's all I could have offered you."
"It's enough," I promise him, taking the fifty dollar bill and snapping it. "For breakfast. Because...love is free." I toss a suggestive look at the back seat.
"I like the way you think, girl. But even at twenty-one, I wasn't that big of a douche. I know exactly how I would have romanced you." He throws the car in reverse.
————————
"Leed, I'm getting nervous," I whisper, staring at the most adorable little chapel I've ever seen. Not that I'm an expert on chapels, but this one is special. It's octagonal, with Victorian styling, made of tidy red brick and a dark roof topped with a bell tower. It looks almost alpine, but yet it's sitting here in downtown Athens.
Still, a chapel is a chapel and I'm wondering what the hell we are doing here. I hope Leed isn't making another play for a marriage contract.
"Relax. This is a good thing, not a crazy elopement thing," he promises me. He pops the trunk, bolts from the car, then leans back in his door. "Don't move."
He opens my door after retrieving something from the trunk. I'm surprised to see it's a guitar case. Leed tucks an arm around my waist and walks me directly in front of the chapel, so we can admire it prettily lit up in the dusky sky.
"This is Seney-Stovall Chapel. It used to be the chapel for a girls' boarding school but now the University owns it. They use it for plays, concerts, lectures. When I was a theater major here, I performed here a few times. It's the most beautiful and intimate stage I've ever been on. But I've never done this," he whispers, ushering me up the stairs.
"And what are you doing?" I whisper back.
"Breaking in to impress my girlfriend with a private performance."
"That doesn't look like breaking in," I frown as he opens the door easily.
"I sent Rolo ahead to do the crime."
My heart starts to pound. I grab Leed's arm as I scan the eaves of the porch for security cameras. "Leed are you sure about this?"
He nods. "Trust me, Sunshine. I'm just being dramatic. He worked it out. It's fine." He kisses my hand and draws me inside.
The stage is framed with ornate molding and the stage floor is warm red cherry, polished to an immaculate shine. A spotlight shines on a straight-back chair with a microphone stand in front of it. Candles glow softly along the curve of the stage. The auditorium is intimate, and filled with plush velvet seats. Beautiful balconies curve above and behind us as Leed directs me to a seat, marked with a single sunflower a few rows from the front.
"Best seat in the house, acoustically," he promises. He leaves me there and climbs the stage, taking a moment to tune and mic his guitar. He makes a couple of gestures and murmurs as he tunes and the sound of his voice in the microphone sweetens to the perfect balance with the guitar. I guess Rolo, or maybe a sound tech, is working the booth.
He rakes a hand through his short hair and sighs, but then he laughs at himself and shrugs. "I've never done this before—performed as a one man show. And I'm feeling kind of vulnerable without my hair. Be gentle with me, Sunshine."
The first song he sings is a cover called "I Like You." It's cute and quirky and the way he grins shyly at me when he sings it...he doesn't seem like a rock star at all. He just seems like the world's cutest boyfriend—my boyfriend, who has a great voice and an ease with a song. When he finishes, I'm covering my face with my hands because my smile hurts and I forget to clap.
He looks straight at me. "I do, you know. Then and now. Always."
Like me, he means.
I rise to go to him. He puts a hand up. "Stay there, girl. No rushing the stage yet. I have a couple more songs that make me think of you. This next one, I played at Madam's wedding, for you. But you weren't there." He plays Tequila—a soulful, sexy version— and it nearly makes me cry.
"This one always makes me thing of you, too." He plays Drops of Jupiter.
"This next one I heard while you were in rehab, and it's like I could have written it. It's exactly what I felt the whole time. It's called It'll Work Itself Out. Sometimes I thought it would work out one way, mostly I hoped like hell it would work out another."
I've never heard it before, but it's bittersweet and filled with the pain of uncertainty at the same time it streams hope. Leed's voice is more gentle than I have ever heard it in song. I stand, too moved to clap. I blow him a kiss at the end of that one and he smiles.
"And then...a song I've sung hundreds of times, but I never really felt it, until I needed to be with Ollie but I wanted to be with you." He hashes out a harsh, raw version of Seven Minutes Away, even performing the hip hop rap part with no more than a slap rhythm on the guitar. There's my rock star...hot and frustrated—every bit the Lion with nothing but a spotlight and a backbeat.
I hoot and holler for that one. He gives me the chin tip, holding me in place for one last song, he says.
He plays my song—December Dawn. His words, his voice—they call to me. By the time he finishes the first verse, I'm standing in front of him on the stage. He rises to meet me. He sings and plays as he twirls a slow dance around me.
No, not a dance, I realize. An orbit. Because I am his sun.
The realization of the gravity between us hits me all at once. Love like an inevitable force of nature—that's what we have. When he finishes the song we are colliding before he can even sling the guitar to his back. His kiss is fierce and greedy now.
"I like you. I love you. I need you," he whispers through gulps and gasps.
"Me too. So much. Now." My hands are roaming restlessly over his chest. I want to pull his shirt off, but he has to take his guitar off first and he's not helping. He stills my hands and butts his forehead against mine.
"Fuck. Not now. Not here." He gestures with his head to the balcony where the sound booth is and I can see, like I suspected, we are not truly alone. He turns off the mic. "I want to take you somewhere even more beautiful than this and make love with you and fuck you and make love with you some more. Until you can't tell where you end and I begin. Just wait...a little longer. Okay?"
"Dammit," I groan, but then, "okay."
His only response is another feverish kiss and then he jerks me roughly down the stage steps and practically drags me out of the chapel. He throws the guitar in the back seat, and turns the engine over.
"Goddamn, this was a good car, but I really wish I had the Ferrari right now. We'd get there in half the time," he grins, but the way he roars out of the parking lot, I'm glad we don't have a faster car. I'm not sure we would make it one piece, so urgent is his need.
How is Leed doing on their date so far? Where do you think they are going next?