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"Wah kya shayari maari hai!" Zarmina exclaimed.
"Damn, those lines though!"
"Your Urdu is trash." Zach shook his head, his eyes still on the woman who was staring at her bangles clad, never meeting his eyes.
"You're right! my parents will probably be appalled if they heard me like this." She sighed. "Wait! that reminds of something my parents sent for you guys." She smiled as she went to rummage through her bag.
The rest of their cousins had retired to their rooms, but they all had gathered back in Ayla and Zarmina's room after changing in comfortable clothes. Kabir was sitting at the edge of the bed against the wall next to Ayla as they shared a huge bowl of Kheer from the wedding. Rabail was dozing off in her husband's arms as they were comfortably sitting at the end of the sofa. Zach had pulled the cushion, He was sprawled on the floor.
Zarmina brought a golden lacquer box that had intricate designs painted on it. She was blushing red as she sat on the other end of the couch. She nudged Rabail who rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palms. Zarmina handed over the lacquer box to her.
"This is from my parents." She scratched the back of her neck. "I wasn't going to give it to you because it's ridiculous but they'll be expecting a reply."
Ayla licked the spoon as she intently watched what was in the box. Rabail opened the box and there was a traditional handmade red scarf, intricately threaded beads, zari crystals, and pearls. Along with that was the head chain made with bells at the end of it.
"These are all handmade from back home. A traditional gift given. This is for you." Zarmina bit her lip.
Rabail put that away and under that was a while men's woolen cap with a feather attached to it.
"And this is for Asfandyar."
Rabail put the cap on her husband's head and picked up a scroll from the box.
"Your family is really... different. And dramatic."
"They're giving you a tough competition." Zach popped a peanut in his mouth as he raised his eyebrow. Rabail huffed and sneered at him. Picking up an orange, she hit him square in the head.
"Bull's eye. " She pushed her glasses up back and rolled out the scroll.
"Brace yourself." Zarmina sighed as she plopped back against the couch.
Stamped on top of the scroll was a logo consisted of a markhor, mountains, and swords. Below that was written, Kashan Palace. Her eyebrows went up, Zarmina shrugged.
Dear Mr. Asfandyar Khan and Mrs. Rabail Noor
The Royal Family sends their apologies for not able to attend your wedding on the Twenty-Seventh of December. We hope the wedding was an affair of joy and blessing. The Royal Family sends the heartiest congratulations and warm wishes along with prayers for your prosperous married life. Along with blissful wishes, Their Royal Highnesses are thankful for Miss Rabail Noor for taking utmost care of Princess Zarmina Kashani. Her Majesty, Queen Zarnaaz Kashani, will forever be in debt to Miss Rabail Noor for becoming a family to Princess Zarmina. His Majesty, Mirzaad Kashani, and Her Majesty would like to extend the invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Khan along with their family and friends. On behalf of the Kingdom of Kashan, The Royal Family cordially invites you all to come and celebrate the auspicious New Year's eve with them and the people of Kashan. We are looking forward to seeing you all. We hope that you will bestow us the honor of celebrating the beautiful and prosperous beginning of the New year.
Hope you are doing well.
Yours Sincerely,
The Royal Family of Kashan
The room was doused in a pin-drop silence with Rabail's eyes bugging out and her mouth hung open. Asfandyar was trying to keep his sleepy laugh within as he consoled his wife. She swatted his hand away, still in shock. He put his head on top of her and wrapped her in a bear hug, bursting out in laughter. She elbowed him in return.
On the other side of the room, the spoon fell from Kabir's hand, dropping in the bowl splattering the Kheer all over him and Ayla. That still didn't stop him from gawking at the girl who was supposedly a Princess.
"LALA!" Ayla squeaked looking at the Kheer splattered on her.
"Oh Sorry!" He passed her an apologetic look.
"You're actually like a Princess... princess?" Zach furrowed his eyebrows, imitating Rabail's speech.
"Eeh..." Zarmina's face turned a bright shade of red as she shrugged.
"Bitch you didn't bother to tell me," Rabail yelled at her.
"It's really not that important." Zarmina scratched her jaw, still red with the heat.
"Not that important? WHAT! I could have been married to a Royal and here I am remarried to a commoner." She mourned as she swatted her husband's hand from her shoulder.
"RABI?" Asfandyar gasped and stared at his wife.
"Don't Rabi me. I could've been a Duchess. Just imagine." She sighed.
"I'm sure you would've brought down the whole kingdom with your dramatic decisions." He teased his wife.
"ASFI!"
"Babe, we have to admit, I'm the only one who can deal with your drama." He left a fleeting kiss on her temple.
"That's it you're sleeping on the roof."
Ayla shook her head and left them bickering as she took the bowl to the kitchen. People around the house had been retired to their rooms due to the wedding tiredness. The house was quiet like the affairs in her life. Things were tranquil and that scared the corner of her mind where fear was still alive. As if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Constantly waiting for something vile to storm through her life.
She took a long breath as she put the bowl in the sink. Walking to the window, she stared at the wedding lights draped across the trees. It was celestial, almost like a winter wonderland. Just like the way she once wanted it for her... twinkling fairy lights, green pastel highlights in her hair, and dancing under these lights with him. She sadly chuckled. Those dreams and wishes seemed so far away now. How long will you long for him and those moments with him, Ayla?
She turned around and bumped into someone. For a second she shivered at the silhouette, but familiar scent made her close her eyes as she held on to the soft shirt of his. He pulled her closer, caging her in his arms, letting her breathe him in.
"Give me your time here, Ayla." He whispered. "You owe it to me, baby." He wounded his arms around her.
She leaned into his embrace, putting her forehead on his shoulder.
"Please."
She merely nodded her head, still placed on his shoulder. Maybe for just a few days she could forget it all and live with him. Maybe, she could lean on him and finally breathe. Maybe, just maybe.
"Teach me." She pulled back a little staring up at him, the dim light shining on them from the window. "To live again. To love without Pain."
He lips arched in a smile as he placed a feathery kiss on top of her head. His arms tightened around her, as he sighed in relief.
"Meet me by the wooden door under the stairs at 5 AM."
/////
The thrill of her decision along with anxiety had barely given her few hours of sleep when her phone vibrated and she woke up. It was four-thirty in the morning. The world outside her window was still dipped in darkness, but everything within her was awake with new exhilarating anticipation. So much that when she saw the text message from the unknown number, she deleted it without even glancing at it.
"Ayla!" Zarmina stopped her as the girl herself sleepily went to the bathroom and got back. "Sit down." Her roommate of the few days rubbed her eyes and turn on the lamp.
"What?"
"Zach's request. So shut up. He literally blew my phone with dumb messages. I was about to report him to cybersecurity for disturbing my beauty sleep." Zarmina drawled. Ayla still wasn't sure how this girl was a princess because she was as normal as a person could be. Maybe Royals were actually normal. Who knows? Zarmina played around with her hair for a while and then hairspray-ed it before wrapping a dupatta around her head. "Don't remove this until it's time."
Before she could ask a question the girl was already dropping on the bed, half-asleep. Well... She tippy-toed her way out of the hallway and the stairs. Gosh, she felt like she was fourteen all over. That one night he sneaked her out to go down to the lake so they could watch the meteor shower. They had spent the whole night eating the peanut butter jelly sandwiches that he had made, lying there on the grass.
She made it out the main portion with the help of the light from her phone. Going through the courtyard, she made it to the wooden door and it was propped open slightly as she squeezed through. He was waiting there shivering.
"Come one. I've been here for a while." He signaled her to follow and she stayed close behind him as they walked in the chilly dawn of Swat. The world around them frozen and sleep. He came to halt in front of a small car. "Hop in." He said before going around and sitting int the driving seat.
"Do you even know how to drive this tiny thing? You can't even fit in here comfortably."
"This tiny thing is called Mehran. And yes I know how to drive it. It's just a little snug." He squeezed himself in, putting the car in drive. He turned on the heater as he drove, the placid silence enveloping them. She rested her head on the window, turning towards him. Reading his facial features, memorizing the arch of his nose, the jaw covered in neat stubble, the eyes as dark as the stretch of darkness in front of them and the raven mane of his that fell so wildly on his forehead.
She stretched her hand, brushing his hair away with the soft touch of her fingers. He glanced at her for a second before looking straight ahead. She forgot all else between them. This was how life was supposed to be. All bets were off. She was going to fucking steal the moments from her fate and live them. Just like they were stolen from her eleven years ago.
"If you keep touching me like that, I swear I 'm going to crash into the next tree that's there. And I don't think so I want to deal with that having you here, after eleven years."
She pulled her hand back, biting her lip as her cheeks puffed with red and heat. The fifteen-minute drive had them somewhere bit secluded.
"You sure you are not here to kill me and take revenge right?" She whispered as she could see her own breath turning in to frost. The trees hushed around her in darkness as if whispering about their arrival. The river somewhere in distance crashed against the rocks. Even the freaking owls and crickets seemed to be asleep.
"I have got my machete ready." He deadpanned before walking around towards the house.
She followed him off the road on to the dirt path. "Be careful." He was holding his hand out, her lips stretched in a soft smile. She put her hand in his. It felt soothing, natural and safe to be so close to him even in that eerie darkness of the night. He pushed open the door, walking barely in the light of the phone screen. They seemed to have reached an empty room.
"Wait here okay?"
"Where are you going?" Her voice trembled her hand on tightening around his.
"One second." He unclasped his hands. She could hear his foot echoing across the hall.
"Zach..."
The words merely hushed past her lips when the lights turned on around her. The fairy lights danced along the length of the room, glittering like the sparkling stars. The small flickers of lights swayed around her, knitting together a celestial moment for her.
He remembered.
She swirled in her spot as she stared at the roof that looked like a night sky full of stars for a second. Her feet came to halt, her eyes falling on the man who was still so irrevocably in love with her. His eyes were red with the lack of sleep. His hair still falling on his forehead in a raven mess. Yet, he was standing there as overwhelmingly alluring as he could look.
"Z."
She took off from her place, running into his arms. He barely had a second to catch her before swaying her around. The dupatta falling from her head as twirled around in each other's embrace. He stared at her in awe, she was smiling from ear to ear as she gazed at the lights with an awe. Her eyes were wide, her smile was stretched... she was happy.
For those few moments, they were thrown back eleven years. The way he had planned it. Wrapped the damn lights around the trees down at the lake in their secret spot. It had taken him hours, a few too many cuts and splinters in his skin, and fighting with tree branches to set them, but they had been perfect. The roses were there. She had always loved roses. They were her favorite. The chain he bought with the money he saved over the summer. It was in his pocket as he rubbed his hands against the fabric of his pants. They were clammy with nervousness.
He sat there shivering. His teeth clattering with each other. The winds hushed and mourned with him, but she never showed up. He waited till the dawn, but the night had been awfully cold to him because the next time he saw her she crushed the roses with her heels and broke his heart.
But she was here today and that's all that mattered to him. They were living the moment that was meant to be Eleven years ago. The moment they had been robbed off. He held his hand up for a second before taking his phone out and capturing her photo. He turned the screen her way and she gasped. There were pastel green highlights in her hair that Zarmina must've done it with eyeshadow or something. These were the highlights that she was to get years ago but never did get them. Her eyes burned as the tears started stinging them. How could he remember all this when she had merely told him once before.
"Happy Anniversary, Sunshine." He held up the roses god knows where pulled out from. She put her hand on her mouth as the cries got muffled between her tears.
"Happy Anniversary, Pretty Boy." Her voice wavered as she took the roses from him.
"No more crying, baby, I'm here." He put his hands on each side of her face, cupping it gently. He wiped her tears with his thumb. "Tonight we are going to celebrate like we were meant to be."
Her shaky hand untangled from his and she took off the chain, the band falling in her palm, she clasped the chain back around her neck. Her hand closed around the band. She held his hands before putting the ring in his hand. His eyes widened with fear, but when she held out her left hand. Before he could put the ring on her, his tears left his eyes and fell on the back of hands. She stared in those cognac eyes as he slipped the ring on her finger.
He leaned forward and kissed her, putting his forehead against hers, savoring the taste of her wavering lips. The world around her fell away, even the lights she loved so much faded away as she kissed him. His hand tangled in the green of her hair. He pulled away breathing hard.
"Fuck, I missed you so much. You have no idea." He breathed. The words caressed her swollen lips.
"I miss you too, Z. Every second, every minute of these eleven years were hard and brutal without you." He pulled her against him, crushing her in a hug. She lost the track of time as they were there just relishing the idea of being together in each other's arms, breathing each other in until the dawn peeked in from the window, nudging them to welcome the rays of the new day.
"Let's go." He laced his fingers with her, hurried out the room, up the stairs to the roof. Once she reached the roof, she took in the sight. She was surrounded by the silhouette of the tall mountains. The mere light of dawn doused everything in a mysterious glow. The river still melodiously crashed against the rocks. The birds were waking up and so were the rays of the sun.
He sat on a blanket and patted the spot next to him. She was still in a serene daze. Sitting down, she watched the first ray of the sun crack through the dawn. He was lying on the floor with his arms stretched out. She stared at him for a second, then she stretched her own legs out, lying back next to him, putting her head on his upper arm. He glanced at her in a surprise before wrapping his arms around her shoulder and her waist pulling her closer to him and then pulling another blanket on top of them.
They stayed there on the blanket, lying in each other's arms, listening to the rhythm of his heart and the melody of the river as they watched the sunrise above them waking and warming the small village that surrounded them. Slowly and peacefully both of them had fallen asleep, breathing the comforting scent of each other.
The next time she woke up, she could feel the heat of his gaze on her. She fluttered open her eyes and met his as he was propped on his elbow, leaning on to her, watching her intently.
"I never thought I'd ever wake up like this again." He touched her nose with his feathery touch, moving along the cupid bow of her lips, he traveled south along the curve of her neck and then traced her sternum. Her breath hitched and his eyes darkened. He traced the edge of her bra, and she turned away. Slapping her hand on her mouth as the cry bubbled.
Fuck, Ayla, No. Not in front of him. He'll figure it out.
"I can't, Z." She flipped away the blanket and got up. Chanting the calming words to herself.
"Hey, I'm sorry." He was behind her, slowly turned her around. "I just saw you like that and got carried away. I'm sorry."
How could she tell him that it was not because of him? Gosh, how could she tell him that she actually wanted to feel his touch? Make love to him. Fall in love with him all over again. But she couldn't.
Her body only remembered the filthiness of her past. Her body only remembered what it felt like to be ripped apart and be desecrated. Her body only retaliated. Her body stained with filth and scarred with those reminders.
How could she tell him that her body no longer remembered the touch of the one person who had all the rights on her? How could she tell him that his wife was råped on their wedding night?