Confused. I blink. Open my mouth but quickly close it. I repeated this action few times. I researched my mind for a respond or to even understand what he means but came up short.
The only think I could manage to reply is
"What do you mean you were protecting me from you? Have you gone rogue?"
"What no! NEVER"
"Then what on Earth are you talking about?"
-are you talking in British accent?-
Calvin stares at me for a while then turns giving me his back. He takes a seat at the edge of the bed. By the way he is behaving, I reckon I need a seat. Perhaps I would need a bottle of Zoom at the end...
"I killed my girlfriend"
Make that two. Or ten. Yeah definitely ten.
"I would need you to explain. You can't just leave me at the cliff. What do you mean you killed your girlfriend"
I didn't even know he had a girlfriend.
"I'm not worthy of you"he ignores my question
"We already know that. What I want to know is what do you mean you killed your girlfriend. What ever reason would you do that! My goodness I have allowed the kids to be part your life. I deserve to know the reason"
-really going with the accent aren't you?-
I'm distressed! I always speak with an accent when I am! Don't judge me!
Calvin's head snaps to me.
"I have the right to know my children. You don't get to allow me. I can! It is in my right!"
"Calvin"I say his name firmly. "I won't ask you again. Explain yourself now"
"Don't demand things from me Charlotte"he snarls.
Anger flashing in his eyes.
"Explain.your.self"I growl.
His head snaps back, once again getting me his back.
"I had met Mary at the age of 13. She was a female Alpha and her pack was far from mine so we only saw each other at the training camps we went to and wrote to each other when we were away"he pauses.
He takes a deep shaky breath as if this is torture. I suppose it is quite difficult. Noting this, I don't pressure him to continue but rather wait for him to continue and that he does.
"We were good friends. Had been for 2 years before we decided to try the long distance thing. I believe it had worked. I thought I loved her. I think I did. If you could at that age."
I couldn't stop the pain that touched my heart. Both out of envy and hurt for him.
"Besides from Tom, she was my best friend"his voice broke at the end. "We weren't supposed to be dating. Our packs are not in war but our fathers don't like each other. We dated in secret. I hadn't told anyone not even Tommy."
This is why I hadn't even heard of Mary. And also if he had loved her why did he kill her.
-I don't think he means literally-
I should hope not!
-again with the accent-
"There was one summer that Tom didn't come with me, it was just Alpha training."
"Yes. I remember that. You just turned 16"
He nods.
"Yeah. It was a lovely summer. I got to spend more time with Mary and everyday I spend with her I was sure I fell in love."
Please push the knifed deeper on my heart...
"One day after training, we decided to have our first official date. We went to the lake, one we swim in everyday. I found a perfect spot on the cliff for our picnic. I ensure it was safe. It was a windy day but I was so eager for alone time with her I didn't care for the weather nor did I plan or it"another pause.
Oh no.
"I mean we were future alphas. Leaders. What can wind do to us."he lets out a humourless chuckle. "We sat at the cliff. Best view. I'm trying to be romantic. It was great at first. The wind was bearable, we talked, laughed and shared our dreams. I held her in my arms. We were just being 16 year olds. You know? Just normal teenagers..."
"I turned around for one sec..."he trailed of.
"What happened Calvin?"I asked softly.
I didn't even realise I walked towards him. I touched his shoulders trying to comfort him and encourage him to continue but I think he's so far in his head he didn't even notice my touch.
"She fell. The wind. I don't know"he choked out.
"She was a fighter and she fought. She held on and I tried to pull her up. I did. But it was like something was dragging her down. I tried to save her but I couldn't...I couldn't and I witnessed her fall to her death"
Silence pierced the room. I didn't know what to say. What to even think.
He turns to me. His eyes hiding any emotion but he couldn't fool me. I knew he was hurting. Still hurting. I knew he truly believed he killed her, that he was to blame.
"You see why I rejected you. I was protecting you from me. I thought Mary was my mate. Off course we were too young to find out but I convinced myself she was. I couldn't protect her. Couldn't save her so I swore that day that I won't mate anyone else because I wouldn't be worthy of them."he says, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm a failure."
"You're not a failure"I reply softly.
"A girl is dead because I couldn't save her. A fucking Alpha"he bite out. Turning to give me his back.
"You were different after that summer"I say mostly to myself.
He had been. His social. Kept to himself. He always had been a bit of a flirt, charming and clown. A bit like Dylan. After that summer, he was just shut off.
"I didn't want to be an Alpha. Didn't think I deserved it. It's why I was drinking on my 21st birthday. I didn't want the title. I couldn't protect one, how on earth am I supposed to protect another"
"It's your born duty. It is not something you can give up on. If you do. You would truly be a failure."I say.
"Plus If you didn't care for your pack. You wouldn't have asked moonlight pack to help you"
"I don't know what changed Charlotte. A little over year ago, I had this urge to fulfil my duty as an Alpha. It was like a wake up call. I started to observe the pack and I knew what needed to do. I don't know if I'm worthy to be an Alpha Charlotte but I'm going to try"
"You have gone through this hardship and now you are trying to be the best. You hadn't given up yet. It doesn't make you a failure but strong. I'm sorry you had to witness that. I don't wish that on anyone even Quinn because I hate that bitch. I'm sorry Calvin. Truly am."
And then I do what I never thought I would do. I hug him. He pulls me to his lap and hugs me tighter. His nose touching my neck breathing me in. I don't know how long I held him. I didn't care. I just knew he needed me that time and I needed him too.
************
"Charlotte, wake up!"A voice said.
I mumbled something that's even unknown to me. A hand was on my arm lightly shaking me.
"Wake up sleepy head"
Go away go away go away
There was a light chuckle.
"Come on Charlotte"another shake.
A hand reached to my face to remove my hair from my face. I heard a deep sigh. Then a finger creasing my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes to see Calvin looking back at me.
I blinked thinking maybe that I was dreaming. His brown hair has grown longer and was starting to curly down his face.
Wow. He sure was a sight.
"Hi"
His eyes met mine before he whispers back a greeting.
"Where are the twins?"
That must have snapped him back to focus because he jumped of the bed and said the one think that could set me to panic mode anymore.
"They're with my parent. Right now. In the living room"
"Your parents are here!"I whisper shriek.
"Yeah sorry about that. They just surprised me this morning. I told them about the twins as soon as I found out and they wanted to meet you all but I told them to wait until we tell them. They said they couldn't wait anymore so they surprised us with a visit"he shrugs.
Am I the only one panicking right now?
They must hate me.
I must have said this out loud because Calvin response.
"They weren't happy but I explained everything. They are upset with me more than you. They are just glad they've grand babies"
He must have seen something on my face because he walked to me, pulled me to his arms and said
"They make you uncomfortable. You say the word...I will kick them out"
I couldn't help but laugh softly on his chest.
"You would kick your own parents out?"
"For you. Yes"he says in a soft voice.
He pulls away and tells me to get ready.
Calvin being the gentleman he is waited for me to get ready before we both walked out.
I didn't even allow myself to think, I literally went to living room and blurted out what I needed to say.
"I know you both are super disappointed and probably angry that I kept your grandchildren away from you but I believed I had a valid reason so say what you need to say and get it out of the way. We have to get along because of the twins. I won't have my children around hostility"
Silence. I dared to look at them in the eye and their reaction was not what I was expecting.
"I like her"Calvin's dad says.
"I like her too. And we are not mad at you dear. Would we have liked to know we had grand babies from the start...Yes. But Calvin explained everything so we are not mad at you darling so don't worry your pretty head about it"
Dare I breathe? I don't want them to take back what they said. I mean she looked genuine.
"You can breathe"Calvin whispers in my ears.
I slowly let out a breath I have been holding.
"That's great"I blurt out.
"I see you guys have been introduced already."I awkwardly say.
"Mummy. Look what grandma Poppy got me!"my daughter runs up to me with such glee.
She pushes her new doll to my face.
"It's a Princess. The one I wanted seee"
"I can see baby. Did you say thank you?"I asked.
"Duhhh."
This makes us all chuckle. Calvin picks her up and pretends to eat her stomach which causes her to burst out laughing.
"Stop it daddy"she managed to say through giggles.
"This new car is so cool grams but you know what's even cooler? A mini tv"My son says looking up at his grandma giving her the puppy eyes.
"Don't fall for it. It sucks you in and you won't ever say no. Trust me"I warn them.
"Cameron I already said no"I tell him and watch his shoulders shag.
"Damn it to hell"he mumbles
"Watch your mouth"I snapped.
Honestly. I have no idea where he learns these words from.
Cameron gives me a raised eye brow as if he heard my inner voice.
Touché
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Sorry for the missed errors.