Rejected and pregnant (#1)

Chapter three*

There is a thin line between being thick and being fat. I.. I was fat. I looking at myself in the mirror. All the ugly stretch marks, the flaps rolling over each other. I don't understand how I gained so much weight, because I barely eat. Okay maybe that is a stretch. My brother is horrible and literally makes my life miserable but what he doesn't do is starve me or physically abuse me. I don't eat through out the day because I am either busy doing my school work or things Tom left me to do but at night, I stuff my face like I have never eaten before. I have a habit of stress eat too. When I am upset, I tend to eat a lot, its a comfort. So if we are being honest, I knew exactly why I was overweight, it was because I never excised, I would starve myself during the day and overeat at night then sleep, I knew it was unhealthy but at this point in my life, I don't care.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wanting to cry blood. I wished with my heart the mirror was lying to me. Maybe added few pounds. This was not pretty. How will my mate ever love me? How will he help me escape from this prison I used to call home.

It would never be like I dreamt. Today I turn 18, which means I could potentially find my mate today. Literally any second now, I could find my mate, unless he's under 18, which I'm hoping he's not. I dreamt that my mate would carry me and we would run away together. Find another pack. Even create our own. In 8 years time, I would give birth to all of his children. They would have my brown eyes and his nose. I dreamt that my mate would be my hero, my knight. However these dreams seems to be fading away.

I sighed, covering the mirror with a sheet. I didn't want to see myself anymore.

Say I wanted to lose weight. Become fit and heathy, the truth is that Tom would never allow me to go outside to run or jog. The only times he lets me is to go to school or to buy groceries. Which really sucks because I don't see enough of Amy. My best friend, the only friend who knows the truth and hasn't left my side.

I think I would be seeing her in the party. Although she did said she won't come because she can't bare to watch me been slaved around and told want to do. Many times she tried to tell my brother, many times. I stopped her. I told her that it would break his heart if he found out. I asked her to promise me she would never tell him, she said 'never! I won't tell him now but one day I will, I just hope it's not too late'. I knew I couldn't change her mind so I left it.

Calvin got me a dress for his birthday party after I mentioned I didn't own one to attend for his party. I know I wasn't actually invited to enjoy myself, I know it was strictly for business. I would be serving drinks and other things but Calvin said I had to dress to impress.

I picked up the red dress he brought me from the wooden, rusty chair in my tiny room. I could help but admire the dress. It was so beautiful, I felt as if I didn't deserve to wear it. It was so heavy. Maybe because it was large. Probably because of that, it was large enough to fit my huge body.

I didn't tell him size, mainly because I had no idea myself.

Six hours before the party began, after my quick shower, I wore my red dress. I pulled my hair into a tight bun as Tom demanded me to. I didn't want to, no. It exposed the roundness of my cheeks, my double chin and my duck neck. Even though the dress was large, it was tight, sticking to me like glue. It exposed the size of my belly and the flaps on my back were screaming to get out. I knew if I moved to much this dress would rip in half so I decide to packed another pare of clothes in a plastic bag, just in case. Matching sweatpants and hoodie that Amy got me.

Calvin told me that I have to go there early and help the chef and other people that are there already to get the party ready. He said he won't be there to watch but he would know if I have done what he asked or not.