Natasha
Sarina’s due date came and went. The baby was quite happy to be in his/her little cocoon. I on the other hand was getting very restless. My encounter with Hakim the other week left me emotional and on edge. He’s totally oblivious to the havoc he causes, when he's around me.
I’m become pretty damn good at acting. Come on! Sitting at the dinner table with his lovely fiance opposite me took a lot of effort. It worked... for no one at all clocked on to the feelings raging inside of me. What grates me the most is the fact that Nina is so similar in looks to me, Kelly also found the resemblance uncanny and yet Hakim getting engaged to her was a kick to my heart.
I wish that Hakim Jahan never existed. I’m a fool for letting him get to me. The whole week he has been here I’ve been doing my best to avoid him. I avert from situations where we find ourselves together. Dinner is the only place I see him for I don't want to insult his loving parents. The fact that Shalina has taken a liking to him does not help matters at all.
My baby girl curls up in his lap when he's sitting with his folks to watch tv and he even takes her up... tucks her into bed when she falls asleep in his arms. I leave him to it and then enter the room only when he exists it. The tension between us is palpable. You can cut it it with a fucking knife.
“Mamma...Can I go out with uncle Hakim to the Park?" Shalina’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts.
What?
“Er baby girl ..I don't think that's a good idea...he may be busy and ma….”
“Mamma...noooooo ...pleaseee let me go..he told me to ask you.” Shalina’s persists.
He did what?
“Shalina..listen to your Mamma please.. I said no..so go downstairs and tell your er..um....uncle Hakim that Ma….”
“No Mamma..I want to go..why won't you let me go? Please...please...please...pl…...”
“Baby girl..no...means no”.
“Mamma...Please..Mamma please ...Mamma Please..”
“Baby girl...Stop wh….”.
“Pleeeeeeease”.
“Oh for the love of God...okay.. okay”. I always give in..I can't help it. She knows how to get me each and every time. Plus she’s stubborn as hell..a Jahan trait.
Damn I need to work on my mothering skills..or this little girl will walk over all me.
“Thank you...Thank you… Thank you…” She flung herself into my arms and peppers me with kisses..I return some of my own and my heart contracts at her beautiful face radiating from happiness.
I get her ready and taking her hand we head downstairs. Hakim is in the kitchen on his phone texting and when he sees Shalina all ready a smile breaks out on his face.
Fuck!!. I quickly look away.
“So are we set then?” He pockets his phone and stands up smiling. He gives me a questioning look to say if I’m okay with this and I nodded my head without replying.
“Now baby girl..you will behave yourself and listen to your er... Uncle Hakim..ok”. I bend down to give her a kiss on her dimpled cheeks.
“Would you care to join us Natasha?.” Hakim asks me cautiously.
Er No.!!!
“No Thank you Dr Hakim..I have some errands to run and the…..”
“Please Mamma...can you come too..please...please...please..”
Baby girl..I can't..I need to do somet…..”.
“I want you to come..Mamma...please come..then I can pretend that I have a Mamma and a Daddy.” Shalina cries out excitedly.
What the Hell?
My tummy suddenly flutters at her words.
I look over to Hakim and fuck..there is a small on his lips as he looks at Shalina and then back at me.
What?
“Shalina..baby ...you do know that Uncle Hakim is not your father”. I crouch down to her level and I’m surprised at how firm my voice is when inside my whole body is shaking.
“Yes Mamma..but I wish he was..I like him Mamma...a lot”. She smiles at me with such joy that I can't breathe at her look of pure content.
Damn it.!!
“Ah...Shalina..I like you too..a lot ..a lot..” Hakim’s voice is joyful and I don't need to turn around to see that he is smiling.
Ughhhh!!!
“Well it’s okay to like someone baby girl..so liking your Uncle Hakim is a very good thing but remember he's your uncle ..ok... Now shoo ...off you go.” I straightened up and make my way to leave.
“Mamma..I will wait for you to get ready..you are coming with us.” Shalina shouts out excitedly.
I turn around and my breath catches at the sight. Hakim is standing next to Shalina and she has her tiny hand in his large one. They look so good together. As if they belong together. A perfect Father and daughter picture moment.. And Damn those familiar set of eyes are waiting for my reply.
“Please Natasha..she’s so excited and happy..join us.'' Hakim's voice plead with me and my tummy clenches at the look he’s giving me.
Sighing I give him a small nod which results in our daughter squealing with joy.
I head upstairs to change out of my clothes,leaving the father and daughter duo to their excited small talk.
What the hell Natasha Jackson.? What are you doing? Why did you give in?When will you learn?
I don't have any answers to give my inner voice...Maybe it’s to do with the fact that my child wants this so bad and she can pretend for a day.
We both can.
*******************
“Mamma look at me..look at me”. Shalina shouts out with joy as Hakim pushes her on the swing.
My tummy erupts with bloody butterflies. They have been having a non stop field day.
Damn..Hakim looks so good with Shalina. The two of them are so beautiful. I feel proud and content on watching them..Damn it...I’m getting carried away with my thoughts.
“Wow baby ...that’s so high..you brave little girl”. My daughters joyous shrieks are so contagious and neither Hakim nor I can stop smiling at her actions.
“Oh My ....how adorable”. I look to see a pretty petite woman sit next to me as she looks at Shalina and Hakim then back to me.
“Thank you.” I send her a small proud smile.
"She looks so like her father." The pretty little thing smiles at me.
"Oh..he's not her father". I quickly reply..throwing Hakim a glance, he smirks back at me.
Fuck..he heard.
“Really!! But the resemblance is strong..well even if he isn't ..you’re so damn lucky to have your man sharing a day out with you.” She smiles sadly as she keeps a lookout for her kids.
“Er he’s not my man ..we are….”
"Oh! I’m sorry!!..I tend to speak before I think..it’s none of my business.” A cute blush tinges her cheeks and I can't help but smile.
Damn..I like this woman.
“Its okay..My name is Natasha by the way..and that’s my daughter Shalina and that gentlemen she's with is Dr Hakim Jahan ...Um a friend.” I look at Hakim and see that he is preoccupied with Shalina who is insisting he joins her on the childrens slide.
“Oh..nice to meet you… I’m kerry and those two terrors over there are my son kyle and my daughter Kamri.” She looks over her children with pride and joy. Practically all mothers have that same look in their eyes regarding their children.
“They are beautiful.” I reply.
“Yes..they are..but looks can be deceiving..” she chuckles.
“Yep..I agree.” I cast a look at my little diva and I can't stop the laughter from coming out as I see that poor Hakim is made to go on the children slide. His tall muscular body looks so comical as Shalina pushes him from behind to aid him down.
He looks up at me and throws me a playful glare.
Fuck!!!..My breath catches and my laughter falters for a moment.
“Mamma..Mamma..come help Uncle Hakim..He needs help.” An excited Shalina waves at me happily.
“Oh my..that is so cute..I remember when my kids did exactly the same to their father.”Kerry is laughing to.
“Really.. They did?" I throw her an amused look.
“Yes.. He too got stuck like your man...go help the poor thing”.
“He's not my man..”I quickly reply.
“Natasha..I’m pretty good at judging people's body language..and something tells me you two are more than just friends.” she smiles at me knowingly.
“Mamma..Mamma". I quickly get up and make my way over to my screaming daughter.
I can't help smiling when I see Hakim trying to pull himself up. He again throws me a look, nostrils slightly flared.
“Okay..Dr Hakim ..put your arms around me and I will pull ...while you push off..okay.” I bite down on my lips from smiling further....bad move..as his eyes follow my movement and something flickers in them.
I quickly release my bottom lip..but not before I see a small smirk on his.
“Okay Natasha...come here.” Fuck..the way he said that had my tummy clenching and my face is warming up.
Refusing to look in his eyes I move closer to him, as I’m standing his face is eye level with me and I can feel his intense gaze.
“Quit staring..and put your arms around me!" I sigh out loud as I tentatively put my arms around him ...he instantly holds on to me..and his stubbled cheek presses against my own.
A million butterflies erupts inside me..Fuckk!!!!!
Not this please!!
Then he puts his nose right against my neck and takes a huge whiff.
What the fuck?
“Are you smelling me Dr Hakim?" I grit out ..as goosebumps join the fucking butterlies..causing havoc within my body.
“Sorry..I can’t help myself..you smell so fucking incredible Natasha .” He whispers ever so softly.
Fuckkkkk!!
“Come on Mamma..pull..” My oblivious little daughter interrupts the moment and I’m relieved.
In no time , his out..God..that was to easy.. I look at Hakim as he straightened out and see an annoying grin on his face and he’s eyes are full of mirth.
That bloody bastard!!
“Dr Hakim..did you just played me?" I fold my arms ...throwing him a glare.
“I don't know what you’re talking about Natasha.. Thank you very much for rescuing me”. He replies..lips twitching.
“Oh Mamma Thank you..uncle Hakim..you were right..Mamma is superwoman ..she rescued you.” She then slide down happily and throws her arms around me and runs off to play.
“Superwoman”. I arched my brows at Hakim.
He walks up to me slowly..fuck.
“Yes..not just superwoman..” he bends his head close to mine..”Super sexy woman”. Then he walks off in the direction of our daughter.
And que the damn fucking explosions within my body...again.
What the hell!!!
I turn and make my way over to Kerry who is shouting for her kids to get ready to go home. They are having none of it and continued playing..totally ignoring their mother's commands.
“So”..as I settled down next to her…"just friends eh?" She looks at me eyebrows arched.
My face heats up and she chuckles.
“I told you..that you and that hottie over there...are more than just friends.” She then calls her kids again..again no answer as they continue playing.
“ Well that hottie and I ...are just that.. friends...we just have a history together..that's all." I reply fiddling with my ponytail, a nervous habit.
“Umm ...hmm.. You know you remind me of myself..Patrick..my husband..was my childhood crush..God I loved him from the age of five..I would follow him everywhere and anywhere. He was my next door neighbour and five years my senior. I was just like an annoying kid to him. He would avoid me at all cost but I didn't care..I continued ,never giving up..even when he had to go and study, I waited..he came back got a managerial job at a bank..I waited..When I left school I didn't attend college and got a job at a bakery which I now own..that was opposite his bank..
I’m good at baking..my mother taught me everything... sorry where was I? Oh yes ,... well I continued waiting for Patrick to finally get his head out of his ass and realise that I'm the only woman for him..boy the amount of females that he had to go through to finally achieve that was almost the death of me...but then one day he sees a good looking man talking to me and he caused a scene at the cafe bakery..practically getting into a fight with the other man. I told him what the fuck was his problem...before I knew it he pulled me against him and kissed me.
Oh my..I can still remember that kiss ...so full of passion..intensity..need and possessiveness. Well the rest they say is history and here I am seven years later with two beautiful kids but a very busy husband.” She looks at me with a resigned sigh but there is a look of utter contentment in her blue eyes.
Damn..that story has so many things in common with my own history regarding Hakim..editing a few things here and there of course.
“Wow..that’s such a lovely story. I’m glad things worked out for you..where is your husband if you don't mind me asking.?”
“Oh, his away on business. It’s been two weeks and 3 days..God I miss him.. but he wants to set things up for our future and I guess I knew what I was getting into when I married him..plus I’m pretty patient when it comes to waiting for him”. She laughs sadly.
“Damn..you're something else ...I’m so glad we met..maybe we can catch a coffee sometime?” I take out my phone and we exchange numbers.
"I’ll love to..Who knows, maybe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship”. She smiles at me and I return one of my own...she has something about her..it’s no wonder Patrick finally fell for her eventually.
Suddenly her children come running excitedly. Kerry and I look at them as they whizz pass us and continued running.
We get up to go after them...but stop when we see them throwing themselves into the arms of a very tall..good looking man.
I throw Kerry a look of confusion and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes and a joyous smile on her face.
“You see good things come to those who wait..That’s my Patrick.” She points at the man who is now carrying both of the children in his arms as he makes his way to his wife ...a look of utter love and desire in his eyes.
“Patrick” Kerry whispers…”What a lovely surprise”. She beamed at him with love.
“Yes..that was my intention beautiful.” he then puts the kids down gently and before I know it grabs Kerry and kisses her with such passion that I had to look away and catch Hakim looking at me.
I quickly look away and Kerry pulls apart with a flushed expression..clearing her throat,
“Patrick..This is Natasha Jackson..we just met but I have a feeling we are going to be good friends”. She has her arm around Patrick and I can see that Partrick is resisting the urge to kiss her again.
“Good to met you Natasha..I’m sure my lovely wife has told you all about me..she has to relieve that story of ours to everyone she meets.” he puts out his hand and I shake it.
“Well it is a lovely story and I can tell that you two belong together.” I reply and it's true... they do look good together.
I hear a clearing of the throat and find Hakim Staring at me strangely with Shalina holding his hand.
“Hi..I’m Hakim Jahan..and you are..?” He puts out his hand to Patrick..which Patrick shakes.
“Patrick...Patrick Johnson..It's good to meet you Hakim..oh this must be your daughter ..she’s lovely... she has her mother's looks but your eyes..what a beauty..” He then shakes Shalina hand.
“Oh no darling..They're not together..they just good ...er friends” Natsha looks at me lips twitching.
“Really..oh well..I do apologise for my misunderstanding”. Patrick replies apologetically.
“Nothing to apologize for Patrick..it's a common mistake.” Hakim interrupts him whilst throwing me an amused look..the smirk is back in place.
Fuck!!.
“Well, nice to meet you..but I need to take my lovely wife and children home..I just got back from abroad and I’m looking forward to the comforts of home with my family.” Patrick shakes hands with Hakeem and I .
“You to Patrick..Kerry ..until we meet again.” I go in for a hug which she returns.
“Natasha..remember what I said..Patience is a virtue but time is of the essence...don't waste it” She whispers in my ear then pulls away.
I arched a brow but she shook her head in return.
“Until next time dear”.
Then they leave..the children so happy to see their father that no further persuasion was needed to leave the park.
“Ahh what a lovely family.” I look at them walking away. Patrick with an arm around Kerry a child on each side of them holding hands.
However Kerry words were ringing in my ears.
“Yes..lovely indeed” I turn to see Him looking at me weirdly.
“I wish Uncle Hakim was my daddy...I want a daddy..Mamma”. Shalina looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
I crouch down to her level and gather her in my arms. She instantly hugs me back.
“Oh baby girl..what did I say to you ea….”
“Shalina...I may not be your father...but you can always rely on me to be there.” Hakim also crouched down and Shaila instantly throws her arms around him smiling.
“Promise.” she cries with happiness.
“ I Promise..baby...I promise.” I look at him and he returns my gaze. His beautiful eyes are shimmering with emotion and I quickly straighten up and turn around.
God..What the..I don't know what I’m feeling but I need to get out of here and fast. Hakim Jahan ..knowingly or unknowingly is messing me up emotionally.
Making promises to our daughter .What if he can’t keep them.My baby will be heartbroken. But something tells me that he won't do that to Shalina. I don't know what it is but he seems to have formed a unique bond with her . the last couple of weeks he has shown a different side to his usually broody self.
Hakim feeling towards me have always been complicated. Actually I don't Know what the hell he feels towards me. He's a bloody puzzle I can't solve. Hot one minute..cold the next..I don't know what the hell is his problem and I don’t give a fuck anymore..well I’m trying not to .
Since Shalina’s birth my priorities have changed. A blessing in disguise but when he goes and say and do these kind of things my brain gets all fucked up and not to mention my bloody heart.
“Mamma...Are you okay?”. Shalina looks up at me and squeezes my hand.
Clearing my throat I look down at her and smile.
“Off course baby girl..you ready to go home?"
“Yes..Uncle Hakim promised to buy me an ice cream”. She beams at Hakim..dimples on display.
“Did he now." I throw him a displeased look.
“It's only an ice cream”. He replied innocently.
“Yes ..Dr Hakim..but it's dinner time soon”. I reply pissed.
“Well why don't we grab some dinner first then ice cream later." He replies smugly.
“Oh ..yes please...Mamma can we go?”. Shalina jumps up and down.
Sighing I agree. The bastard knew I would. He knows I can't deny shalina .
So of we went.
Shalina in the middle of us both ,holding each of our hands. She was so happy and chatted non stop.
I sensed Hakim's gaze on me . I glanced at him and what saw had me averting my gaze instantly.
The raw emotions in his eyes was pretty hard to miss. What is he playing at? Why does he look at me this way when he's going to be married to another woman? Why does he make me feel that he wants more from me?
“Thank you Nataasha.” his deep voice interrupts my inner rambling.
“For” . I reply without looking.
“For letting me be a part of this wonderful girl’s life”. I had no choice but to look at him when I see happiness radiating from him.
He smiles at me and my heart flutters. Hakim Jahan is so difficult to read at times. I’ve known him most of my life and like I said I can't ever figure him out. But now when I look into his eyes..I see what I saw in Kerry’s eyes earlier..contentment.
Why??
“Well..My Shalina is a stubborn little girl..so the minute she laid her eyes on you..your heart was doomed.” I look down lovingly at my Baby.
“Mmmm...like mother like daughter”. He replies quickly with humour.
“Hakim..stop! You shouldn't say such things”. I fiddle with my ponytail.
“Why”. he fires back.
“Seriously Hakim! You of all people should know the answer to that.” I sign out annoyingly.
“Maybe that can change”. What the hell! I throw him a glance and fuck....he’s serious.
“ Wh ...What are you sa saying?” I stammer out..heart in my mouth.
“I mean, what if I want you and Shalina in my life..what if I want to st….”
“Why?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“Mamma..why are you shouting” Shalina pulls at my hand and I look down at her..she has a puzzled look on her face.
“Sorry Baby girl..uncle Jahan and I are just talking.” I reply calmly whilst I try to calm my erratic heartbeat.
“Okay”. She continues walking happily. Thank God for children and their short attention span.
“Can we talk about this later? When we get home”. Hakim smiles.
“I’ll guess we’ll have to..who knows maybe you’ll come to your senses by that time”. I replied sarcastically.
“I should have come to my senses years ago Natasha.”
Well what the fuck do I say to that?
Nothing! Nada! Zilch!.
“Well..well..well...Natasha Jackon..speechless!” His throaty chuckle has my tummy clenching.
Throwing him a dirty stare I continued walking with my daughter and the man who never ceases to amaze me.
Millions of thoughts running through my mind and the unbearable need to know what awaits me when we eventually reach home and Hakim can finally tell me what the fuck he’s playing at.
Fuckkkk!!!
Salam and hey Guys.
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