Natasha
One week later
The girls and I are out for a ladies days out. A heavily pregnant Sarina, A kids free Medina and a surprise visitor , our beloved Kelly. The only one missing from the old gang was Sophie who we facetimed earlier. She's married to Hasan with Two children and now resides in Dubai.
It's good to have these loyal , loving women around me. Our bond has always been a close one, even though there's a three year age gap between the younger girl, Sarina and Kelly.
I feel guilty that I can't share Shalina's fathers paternity with them. Maybe I fear the disappointment in Medina's and Sarina's eyes. I know that they come to love and accept Shalina as their own. But an illegitimate child is very much frowned upon in their culture , especially the pashtuns. My God, Mamma and uncle Jahan wil be devastated to learn that Hakim is a father outside of marriage. Growing up , I remember that they would teach the kids all about Islam from an early age.
My tummy clenches . I have to keep it a secret. If I want to be a part of their lives then I'll have to. My shalina deserves to know them and if it means going about it this way. I will.
"Natasha Jackson..is that you girl?" A very familiar voice addresses me from behind.
The girls and I stop and turn around. A smile instantly breaks on my face when I see Damon in all his six foot four glory. Without thinking I run to him and jump into his huge arms, laughing with joy. His laughing and hugs be back with fever...twirling me around a few times.
"Damon Tyrell Jones..God...it's been ages". He puts me down and I pull back to look him over.
Damn..his one fine specimen of a man. Tall, black and incredibly handsome. A beautiful soul to go with it and damn... those eyes. One brown and one blue. So unique and so beautiful in his perfect face.
"To long girl..way to long. " He then looks at the woman next to him who is checking me out from head to toe, I thought I would see jealousy reflecting in her eyes but I found her smiling at me and I can't help but return the smile.
She's a stunning woman. Petite and curvy. Her luscious blonde hair is loose all around her in glorious curls. She has ocean blue eyes and a small straight, pierced nose with pouty lips. The look that Damon gives her is so full of love and intensity that I had to look for a way for a bit.
"Sorry... Natasha, I would like you to meet my wife Caitlin...Caitlin ..this is Natasha ..my very good friend." He lovely smiles widens when Caitlin brings me in for a hug.
Wife!!! Damn..I wasn't expecting that.
Plus a woman normally feels threatened by me ...I don't mean to boast guys..but it's a fact...however this woman has no restrictions or any Qualms at all.
"So good to finally meet the famous Natasha Jackson" Her voice is so soft and feminine. Just like the rest of her.
"Aw..No the pleasure is all mine..I'm so happy that my darling Damon has found someone who is finally worthy of him." It's true. Damon deserves to be loved by a special kind of woman and from the vibes I'm getting from them it seems he's finally found it in Caitlin.
"Natasha..Your friends are w...."
" oh..girls." ...I wave them over.
"Hey Damon, Caitlin..Meet my very ,very good friends slash sisters..Medina..Sarina and Kelly."
I see the girls give me pointed looks and I know Damon Will be a hot topic between all of us soon. Yep..Damon has that effect on women. It's a shame that a certain uptight bastard had a hold of my heart all those years ago and I never gave Damon a chance.
"Natasha ..how about you come over for dinner one evening.". Caitlin smiles at me.
Damn...this woman is so fucking likable.
"Sure..that's very kind of you Caitlin"I reply with a smile of my own.
"So good to see you girl. But we gotta go and pick up our son from his grandma's". Damon hugs me and peck me on the cheek.
"Oh my God..You're a dad? How old is he? " I'm so happy for Damon. Married with a stunning wife and a child.
"Well his name is Daniel and his 4 years old". Damon then whips out his wallet and showed me a photo. My God ..he was the spitting image of his father but a lighter version and had his mother's blue eyes.
The girls and I cooed over him and Caitlin smiled with pride as well as Damon.
I took out my own photo of Shalina and showed it to Damon and Caitlin. Damon raised his eyebrows in question . He knows my history with Hakim and I nodded my head in affirmation.
"She's beautiful..just like her Mamma. Bring her to, when you come. I think Daniel and her will get on like a house on fire."
"I will definitely take you up on that offer. Well it's been great seeing you Damon ...Caitlin".
We part ways after sharing our contact details. I have a huge smile on my face. Damon always had a knack for making me feel better when I was down. I See that the girls are all staring at me.
"What"?
"Natasha Jackson ...That was Damon?..The Damon!!." Sarina shouts at me.
"Shush..keep your voice down..they'll hear you" I wave my hands frantically. God..Sarina has such a loud voice and when excited it goes up a few volumes.
"My. God...That was a fine looking man. Shame he's taken" Kelly sighs dramatically with a smirk.
"Baby girl.. You lost a good one there? But at least we know he's not Shalina's father. Unless he was cheating on his wife?" Medina muses quietly.
Shit..I don't think I like where this conversation is heading.
"Er Well. Damon has always been a friend to me and nothing else...come one guys I'm starving after all that shopping..let's eat". I quickly hook my arms into Medina's while Kelly does the same to Sarina.
"Natasha Jackson..don't worry your pretty little head off. You'll tell us when you're ready ..right?" Medina looks at me expectantly.
"Right".. I Reply quickly.
Not really baby girl. Not if I can help it.
******
We all enter the Jahans with bags full of shopping. I hear voices coming from the living room. Looking at each other curiously we make our way there.
Upon entering I see that Mamma and uncle Jahan are seated with none other than Hakim and a very pretty looking woman. They all stop and stare upon our arrival.
"Oh good..Girls you came in time." uncle Jahan looks at us smiling and gets up..Hakim also gets up with the woman.
"Hakim why don't you introduce the soon to be new addition to the family". Uncle Jahan smile seems slightly forced.
New addition????
All of us girls share a look between us.
"Nina..I would like you to meet my sisters Medina and Sarina...Kelly our family friend from next door and last but not least Natasha..also a family friend." All of us go to shake hands with Nina who smiles at us shyly
"Girls this is Nina...my Fiance." We all look at Hakim in shock.
"Fiance...Hakim..dear brother of mine when did this happen? "Medina looks at Hakim meaningfully. Boy she didn't seem happy.
"A few days ago..in London." He replies quickly, avoiding Medina's eyes.
I look at him strangely and he returns my gaze but is the first to look away.
Well that's a first.
Why does he seem so on edge. He looks as if he wants to be any else apart from here. What is going through his mind as he's looking flustered.
Why the fuck do I care?
"How about we get to know each other over dinner..yes?" Mamma's calm voice breaks the tension in the room as Medina is continuously glaring at Hakim. Sarina has taken a seat as she rubs her back . No doubt tired and Kelly is looking between me and Nina and then back again. A smirk on her pretty lips.
"What a fabulous idea Mamma..I'm starving." We all can't resist rolling our eyes at Sarina.. We just had food a few hours ago. She feigns ignorance and we laugh at her...which was a good thing...as the atmosphere was getting a bit too tense for my liking.
Well..Dinner is sure going to be interesting.
*****************
Dinner indeed was very eventful. Medina was on a roll. She was shooting daggers at Hakim. No doubt pissed at him. Jake the poor man had to calm her down a few times by whispering in her ear. She would flare her nostrils at him in return. Being the loving man he was, he kept at it until she calmed down. Not that poor Nina had any clue with what was happening around her.
She was clueless. Either by choice or it was genuine. I don't know but she was a very nice woman. She had a certain elegance about her and I found myself laughing at her very witty sense of humour. She had a head full of curls exactly like mine..She had almond shaped brown eyes with naturally curly lashes..her cheekbones were sharp and gave her dimples an extra edge..In fact looking at her closely she shared a lot of my traits ...funny.... however she was very warming and seemed genuine that even Uncle Jahan and Mamma would laugh at her humour.
What I didn't count on..was Hakim throwing me off all people dirty looks. What the hell is his problem anyway? I'm not the one on his case...Medina was... but the bloody man would flare his nostrils at me when I laughed out loud at the dinner table at either Jake and his jokes about Medina... much to her chagrin..or Sarina scoffing food down..or the lovely Nina and not to forget the life and soul of the party , my beloved Uncle Jahan.
Well I chose to ignore him. In fact when I found something funny I would laugh out loud exaggerating everything and totally acting oblivious. I knew he wa looking but I didnt gave a fuck. That uptight bastard can just deal with it. What the fuck is his problem with me anyway.? I haven't uttered one single word to him and I didn't intend to either.
Fucker!!!.
*****
I look down at Shalina finally sleeping. Poor thing knocked out the moment her head hit the pillow. In spain I had to bug her to settle down as she refused to sleep without causing drama..here in England she was a changed little girl. Only here a couple of weeks and My baby habits were getting better. Who would've thought that Medina's kids could be such a good influence on her.
Damn..Makes me want to consider staying...Maybe being the key word here.
I can't deny the fact that my baby girl is loving it here. My world revolves around her. I know she will be heartbroken once we leave. She has grown too attached to everyone here. Oh the irony. The people she so loves happens to be her family and I can't divulge that fact to her and everyone else.
Ahhh..things are getting complicated. I feel like I'm deceiving everyone..even though I'm doing it to prevent them from getting hurt. The Jahans are very honourable people. Very devouted and I guess Medina acting the way she was earlier was understandable as Hakim getting married to a non muslim will bring its own fair share of gossip amongst the community. Medina still gets funny looks from some ignorant people when she and Jake be out with the kids. It's only when Jake greets them in Arabic that they change their tune...well some of them.
Hakim on the other hand was never one to take his family's feelings into consideration. He has always been a selfish bastard in my opinion. I can still remember that time five years ago.
I was no angel..I wanted him so bad ..I was possessed with the need to have him..Well it turned out he had me ..had me good then discarded me as if I was a piece of rubbish.
My tummy clenches at the memories. His hot mouth..his dirty words..he huge hands..his taking of me again and again. Fuck..I hate it when that happens. I hate it as I still remember everything and I wish it was true when I told him that I had been with another man. Shame it was a lie. To tell you the truth. Hakim Jahan has been the only man I have been intimate with. You can call it a fucking cliche to say he has ruined me for other men. I can't stand the thought of being with other men and yet I love to hate the only man who has ever been very intimate with me.
What a pathetic creature I am.
Sighing I get up and make my way downstairs for a pitcher of water for Shalina and I.
I head to the kitchen..upon entering I go to take out the pitcher from the cabinet when I stopped dead in my tracks. Hakim Jahan is seated at the table sipping on hot chocolate I presume.
Fucking shirtless of all things. He has on a pair of loose pants only on and is barefoot.
What the Fuck?.
He seems to be in thought so leaving him to it I carefully tiptoed over to the fridge forgoing the pitcher and settle for a couple of bottles. Don't want to disturb the sexy beast from his brooding.
What the fuck Natasha Jackson!!..Did you just called him a sexy beast.?
I admonished myself and after purchasing the water I turn to creep back out when damn...I see him staring at me intently whilst he blows on the hot chocolate and sips.
Something stirs in my tummy and I don't like it.
It's the way he continues blowing and sipping...and those beautiful eyes of his. The eyes that my daughter has inherited. My gaze is drawn to his lips and back up again to his eyes. I see a smirk forming on his lips and I quickly made my way to the door.
Just go..go..go..
"How's Shalina doing?". Shit..just when I was going out the door. Fuck I can either leave without answering and give him cause to think he is affecting me or just answer the bloody question and then go.
Turning around ..fuck his standing now..still sippping..I refuse to look him over..Its pretty damn hard as his fucking huge. His shoulders and damn those arms of his.
Get a hold of yourself..you horny woman!!!.
"Er She's doing great..Thank you". I reply and I'm about to turn when...
"What do you think of Nina?" he asks me quietly..
Fuck..What????
Without turning... I play with the bottles in my hand .
"I think she's absolutely beautiful and has a lovely personality" I reply equally softly and it's true..she is both of those things.
"umm...She is and she does..I'm a very lucky man". His voice for some reason has me turning around and I regret it when I see him advancing towards me.
What the hell!!!
I quickly turn to go but he grabs my arm and pulls me against his body harshly. I gasped at the contact and the bottled water falls out of my hands as I try to push him off..bad mistake..as I feel his toned chest beneath my fingers and my tummy clenches against my will.
"What the hell are you doing Dr Hakim?". I grit out ..pushing at him and fighting against my inner turmoil at his body brushing up against mine.
"Tell me what game are you playing Natasha.?" He puts his hot mouth against my ear and I shiver involuntarily as his lips almost brushed against my neck.
"What the fuck!! ..What are you talking about?". I spit out ..continuing struggling.
He tightens his grip on my wrists and I gasped at the pain and something else...something that I ignore.
"You know Natasha..at the table earlier..the way you were talking to Nina...laughing with her...."
"Are you crazy Dr Hakim..What ? Is it forbidden to talk to Nina now..what the actual fuck?" I can't believe what I'm hearing.
He tightens his grip more and I refuse to cry out as he looks at me with..oh my ...is that desire I see in his eyes. ..no I must be mistaken!...why would it be.
"Watch your mouth Natasha ...for a beautiful woman ..you sure do have a dirty mouth." He whispers down at me.
Fuck ..butterflies explode in my stomach.
It's the way he's looking at me. It's the same look he gave me five years ago. The look of utter need and lust. What the hell is wrong with him..He has a lovely fiance and here he is with me doing this.
"Dr Hakim..Let me go this instance and I'll forget that we ever had this encounter."I replied in a calm voice and I cease my struggling.
"No"
What?
Why is he being like this?
"What's wrong with you..let me go..you're a man engaged to another.". I stay still and calm..I noticed that since I have stopped struggling he seems to be getting agitated and flustered. Why though?.
Then it hits me. He gets turned on when I'm fighting him. He likes it when I use vulgar language. The way I oppose him ..the way I talk to him..the indifference..the attitude I show him..he enjoys it. Now it makes sense. All those years ago. Me following him around like a pathetic love sick puppy. ..My love for him so blatant in my eyes..my heart on my sleeve..my admissions of love..he hated it as I was so pathetically agreeable..so damn attuned to him ...so utterly pathetic.
"Let me go this instant..or I'll w..."
You'll what Natasha?..tell me you'll what". He dips his head.. whispering in my ear.
Fuck...I can't fight the shiver this time going down my spine.
Clearing my throat ..I pulled away and looked into his darkened eyes. Damn his so fucking fine when his hot and flushed.
"What do you want from me Dr Hakim"? I ask him. I try to fight the tears ..Why is he making me feel this way when he is to be married to another. Why is he playing with my feelings? Why does he think he has the right to play with my fucking emotions.
Because let's face it..I'll always love him. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. The fact that he doesn't reciprocate my feelings and gets to play me this way is unfair and very unjust. Hakim has alway been indifferent towards me. He never really understood me. He never gave me a chance.
Suddenly he lets me go and turns his back on me. Running his fingers through his dark brown shoulder length hair.
"Story of my life huh..Dr Hakim" I angrily shouted out at him.
He turns and throws me a confused look. Fuck I hate myself for reacting to all his emotions. He has always been a beautiful man. Although, surprisingly he has never been vain with it. He doesn't need to..the women around him more than make him aware of his own masculinity and looks.
"What are you talking about Natasha?". He folds his impressive arms across his chest.
Fuck!! I force myself to look away.
"Nothing Dr Hakim..Nothing at all..now if we're done here I'll like to go back to bed" I pick up the dropped bottles and straightening myself up ...head out to the door..I stop and turn around to see him in the same position.
"Congratulations on your engagement Dr Hakim...Nina is lovely....you're right when you said you are a lucky man".
I then walked away from him..blinking back tears.
You will never understand Hakim Jahan. Never .
Salam and hey guys.
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Shazk80 xxxxx