"Here we are."
The sound of the wheels braking and slidly touching the sidewalk awakens me from a slight torpor, definitely due to the agitation. From inside the car and with the windows closed I can distinctly hear punk music echoing in the air, loud voices and the sound of the skateboards wheels darting on the asphalt.
"You still with us?" Stone asks me, leaning a little forward to be able to look at my face. I nod.
I'm so nervous and ashamed to admit it. I've always been a girl with some difficulty socializing and I struggle to feel comfortable in places I don't know. Especially if they're full of people.
"You haven't changed your mind, have you?"
I shake my head and think that I'd really like to be somewhere else, getting out of my comfort zone doesn't make me feel safe at all. Seeing my difficulty in making the decision to open the door, Stone decides to take control of the situation.
"Alright, wait."
He gets out of the car, walks around and leans over my window, beckoning me to roll it down.
"Listen," he says leaning on the door "I understand. New city, new people...but hey, don't panic. I'll always be right next to you, okay? We'll have fun!"
Stone's words reassure me right away. He opens the door and I finally get out, fixing my shirt and taking a deep breath. As he opens the trunk Stone takes a six-pack, nodding his head to follow him.
"Let's go!"
We walk on the freshly cut grass and follow the music that gets louder and louder.
"You want one?" Stone asks me by giving me a beer, slowing his pace as we delve into the more and more numerous people. As I open the can, some foam rises wetting my fingers and with the first sip of beer I realize how warm it is.
"Ugh..."
If it wasn't free and I didn't have this desperate need for alcohol I'd certainly complain about this filth.
"You know, this used to be the largest gasification plant in Seattle. You see those towers?" Stone asks, drawing my attention as I was already looking around, intrigued.
"Really?"
Not far away I can see a large metal complex, made of pipes and ducts, rise to the sky a few steps from the lake.
"People here breathed its poisons for years and demanded its demolition, but a functional recycling project won in the end. American Industrial Revolution!"
I turn to him and I'm about to take another sip of beer when suddenly someone hits me, making me spill the liquid on the ground and all over my jeans.
"What the fuck?!" I instinctively exclaim, turning abruptly and laying my eyes on a boy who's running towards the main stage, completely indifferent to the people he's bumping into.
"Hey!" I scream towards his back.
He slows down the race but doesn't stop, going backwards for a few meters.
"I'm sorry!" he apologizes, "I'll offer you one later!"
I stand frozen, speechless with my wet jeans and, above all, without my beer.
God, the rudeness of some people.
"Did you just see that jerk?" I ask turning to Stone, still open-mouthed.
He was already laughing.
"Oh, yes, that's Eddie."
"Am I supposed to know who Eddie is?"
"Remember the big guy with a beard, tattoos and stuff you pictured earlier in the car?"
I keep looking at him with my questioning eyes.
"You weren't top of your class, huh? He's the demo guy."
I can hardly believe it.
"That one?"
"That one. It certainly wasn't the best way to introduce him but, there you go." he tells me then, giving me another beer. "Come on, let's go see the band."
As we follow the music I can't help but think about what happened a few minutes ago. Of all the people I could bump into, or rather that could bump into me, it was him. Just a while ago I was listening to his voice trying to imagine his features, asking me questions about his past and marveling at his writing skills...and now he almost makes me fall on the ground, slamming into me from out of nowhere. Fate can be mocking sometimes.
The main stage is nothing but a rectangular, dusty concrete platform. All around it's full of guys, some standing on the roofs of a parked car, some sitting on tree branches and amplifiers, some moshing and jumping in front of the band of girls who are stirring up the crowd with such a powerful energy.
"They're so cool!" I say looking at the petite blonde singer.
"Those girls are just insane! They're called 7 Year Bitch, we're good friends. Maybe I'll introduced them to you afterward."
It's strange, but now I'm starting to feel somehow comfortable. In the end we're all here for the same purpose: to let off steam with music and just have some fun. I have no reason to feel judged.
As I enjoy the concert drinking my beer, suddenly my eyes fall behind the stage right under a tree. Standing on the roof of a car I see that guy, again. He stands there with a beer in one hand and a camera in the other, recording the concert with enthusiasm and joy. Was he in such a hurry just to record the gig?
"You having fun, yet?" Stone asks me out of nowhere, giving me a little push with the elbow. I smile and nod, returning to channel all my strength to concentrate on the music, but the louder the band play the more I lose the battle with myself. Despite all my best efforts, my gaze always ends up on him. Maybe 'cause I detest him. Or maybe 'cause...I don't know. He has this kind of aura around himself.
I must have looked at him a little too long because, at any moment, he lowers the camera and looks straight towards me. My heart's racing all of a sudden.
Maybe I was giving him the stink eye without noticing?
He lifts his beer bottle and says 'Sorry', emphasizing the letters with his mouth.
I instinctively smile at that gesture, lifting my half emtpy can as a sign of peace in front of that sorry little pout, but just to ruin this moment the grimaces of two guys right behind him catch my attention.
"What the..."
As I look at their stupid faces I raise an eyebrow, trying to figure out what they want to communicate in such a primitive way.
"Is that how you foreign socialize?" Stone asks me and I laugh, giving him a little poke just before get back to look at that guy.
"He's very different from how I imagined him."
"Who, Ed? You're not the first to say that."
But when I turn searching for his face again, he's just gone. I can find him a few minutes later, probably after getting lost in the mosh-pit, when I hear his voice coming out of the big black speakers.
"Enjoy the skateboard ramp, enjoy your beer, uhm...enjoy the evening this is just for you, this is for everybody, this is for people. Fuck this city! We don't need this city!"
I finally got to add that voice to that face and it fits him perfectly, I might say.
"Hey, I'm gonna go say hi to him. Wanna come?"
I feel a strange tingling in my stomach. That guy puts me in certain awe.
"Sure. He owes me a beer after all."
With every step we take towards him my agitation becomes more and more intense and I don't know why.
"Hey kid!"
"Stone! I'm so glad you came, man."
They hug and seem genuinely pleased to see each other.
"I didn't realize you were involved in this. You've already settled in, I see."
"Yeah, you know..."
Eddie shily smiles before looking at his feet.
"Ed, this is Sarah. My new neighbor."
When Eddie rises his eyes again to look straight into mine, it takes my breath away for a second.
"Hi," he says politely, shaking my hand "I'm Eddie. Sorry about the beer, I was...I didn't see you."
"It happens. Not if you look where you put your feet tho, but...it happens."
His head leans slightly to one side. With his questioning gaze he observes me, nibbling his lower lip and tightening his eyes a little.
"Can't fault you on that one." he smiles. "Come, I owe you a beer. Stone, you want some?"
"You bet your ass I want some. I'll wait for you here, I should go say hello to someone."
Eddie beckons to follow him, leading me to a pick-up as he starts fiddling with his keys. He opens the trunk, handles with some bags and gives me a can of beer with a nice smile.
"Here you go."
"Thank you."
The feeling of the frozen tin on my fingers is priceless. God knows I've been craving a cold beer tonight, but when I open it the foam unexpectedly squirts out like a gaiser, wetting my jeans again and make me burst into an uncontrolled laugh.
"You've gotta be kidding!"
"Don't lay that on me now!" he says, laughing out loud and starting to rummage in the trunk. I'm watching him, silently and curious about what he's looking for, when he turns to me again handing me a blue rag.
"Thank you." I timidly say, starting to dab my jeans before taking the first sip of beer.
"Well, at least it's fresh," I add "the one Stone gave me tasted like piss."
Eddie smiles amused, leaning against the pick-up and rarely looking away from the ground. He seems a very shy guy. I look at the outline of his face trying to hide mine behind the can, taking another sip in the hope that it'll give me the courage to speak. The embarrassed smile on his face, that light rocking back and forth and those eyes glued to the grass under our feet, so elusive...I struggle not to look on his delicate face features. He's a very good looking guy.
He opens another can, taking a sip and continuing to remain silent as, despite my tension and his evident discomfort, I try to break the ice.
"Stone told me you're new here, too."
"Yeah, I'm still the new kid in here," he says in almost a whisper, finally raising his gaze and making those cheekbones stand out "I came here from San Diego. Are you a local, or..."
"I moved here like four days ago from Philadelphia. Still finding my feet, you know."
"I totally understand. So, why the move to Seattle? I mean, it's a long trip from Pennsylvania."
I'll take the shortest way.
"I just needed a radical change."
Silence falls again on our heads. I hope I didn't disappoint him with my short answers, but I don't want to poison him with the real reasons that made me come here. Besides, we know each other for at least five minutes: not enough to telling each other our realities.
Without saying a word I walk up and lean next to him on the tail gate of his pick up.
The irrational side of my head would like to tell him that I listened to his tape. That his voice is incredible and that, even if he doesn't know and probably never will, I think I already know something about him. Something that I felt.
"So..."
But I won't. I perceive it as something private, don't even know if I should have listened to that.
"So you're Stone's new neighbor?" Eddie asks first. He's so close to me right now.
"Yes, I live right next to his flat. Stone was immediately very kind and welcoming to me, he even convinced me to come here tonight, so-"
"You didn't wanna come?"
This direct question is a bit of a surprise.
"I'm...just not comfortable around people I don't know, that's all."
I stand beside him and there's something about this guy that makes me feel calm. Something that makes my heart beat faster, but also something that makes me feel somehow comfortable, safe. Although I seem to have understood that this evening was organized by him and that, therefore, he has already settled without too much difficulty, it's not far the feeling that he also feels a little lost.
When he turns and looks at me, at this little distance, I can finally see the color of his eyes: they're blue like the ocean and I get caught in them with no escape.
"So, am I forgiven?"
I almost didn't hear him and words struggle to come out of my mouth.
"For what?"
He smiles, probably noticing my goofy face.
"For the beer I made you spill."
"Oh, uh...yes. I think I can forgive you."
"I'm relieved. Is there anything else I can do?"
Don't stare at his lips. Don't stare at his lips.
"You gave me the beer you owed me, we're even."
From his backwards cap a small strand of hair comes out long enough to lean on his shoulder and the curve of his nose is so delicious.
"We better get back to Stone." he says then out of the blue, breaking the silence and standing by giving himself a little push forward.
With some disappointment and no awareness of what I expected I start to follow him across the crowd again, looking for Stone. When we see him next to a green van, he's talking to a girl with long purple hair.
"I see you found her!" Eddie happily says to him. I'm a little confused and in my head an alarm goes off, similar to the one that prepares you for a missile crash.
"You're the one that lose the girls around!"
Eddie wraps an arm around the girl's waist and then turns to me, smiling proudly.
"This is my girlfriend, Beth."
This is the well-deserved and burning disappointment for someone who gets a teenage crush at first sight like a perfect fool.
As I stick my hand out to shake hers, I show off the best fake smile I can.
"Hi, I'm Sarah. Nice to meet you!"
Goddamn it.