"What are you doing here?" I tried to remain calm, but even the sight of Edith standing next to Nate was making me feel uncomfortable.
"I'm here just to visit as a representative of Reterand's royalty." She smiled warmly, the expression making my stomach churn. "This kingdom is lovely, Nate. You'll have to show me around tomorrow."
She stared at Nate, fluttering her eyelashes. My chest hurt as i watched her, my heart sinking as I felt an overwhelming sense of defeat.
_________________________
"Make way for the Prince!" A loud voice called out, waking me from my stupor. I clutched the empty begging bowl in my hand, feeling humiliated, but I didn't have the energy to run and hide. I could only lower my head, and hope he didn't look too closely at a beggar on the street.
The entourage made its way closer, and glancing upwards I noted Ronan and Edith, riding on horses, talking side by side. I felt a stab of pain in my heart, my eyes filling with tears. Of course they're together, they're engaged.Despite the rationality of it, watching my best friend and the man I loved smiling at each other while I crouched on the street in rags was almost too painful to bear. I prayed they would just move on, but to my horror, they stopped right in front of me, chatting.
"I'm so lucky to be able to marry a wonderful man like you!" Edith's flattery caused the prince to smile. "But, some days, I just feel so guilty that I stole Lenora's place..." She dabbed her eyes, looking sad and pitiful.
"Lenora?" Ronan sneered, the word tearing at my heart. "I'm glad to be rid of her. Who would want her when they could have you?"
I felt Edith's gaze focus on me, and stiffened, wondering if she had recognized me. She didn't call out however, just sat there smiling.
"Yes, who would want her?" Her voice was low, but loud enough to be heard by me, shredding the pitiful remains in my chest.
I kept my head down, too tired and hungry to cry.
_________________________
Nate shook her off, his face stony as he looked at her. "I'll find you a guide. I'm afraid I have too much on my schedule." His tone was borderline rude, surprising me. He was normally a very polite person, almost to a fault.
"What...?" Edith started to protest but Nate ignored her, walking up to me and taking my hand, a smile on his face.
"Do you want to go on a walk tomorrow?"
I couldn't help but smile, even as I felt nervous at the contact between our hands. Realizing my feelings, it was difficult to be as calm around him as I used to be. "Won't you be too busy?"
His grin was shameless. "I cleared my schedule for you."
"..." Everyone stared silently in shock at the obvious difference in treatment. I laughed, squeezing his hand gently.
"Sure. Let's do that then." I wasn't sure what to do with the chaotic feelings in my heart, but I was clear on one thing: I wasn't about to step back for Edith.
"Good! Then the three of us can go together!"
As Edith invited herself along, Nate and I turned to stare at her coldly. She seemed unaffected, giving another sweet smile. "Your Highness, I just wouldn't want your reputation to be affected, after all, back home... Lenora's history..." She trailed off, blushing as if too embarrassed to continue, "I wouldn't want people to talk, they might say you two have an... inappropriate relationship."
"Wouldn't that be great if that were true." I heard him mutter quietly, and poked his side. He just winked at me in reply. Ignoring him, I turned to Edith, a cold smile on my face.
"We appreciate your concern, Edith. You know better than anyone the devastating effects of having a... promiscuous reputation."
Her face paled, her expression twisting with rage for a moment, before immediately conforming into a hurt, betrayed expression. Tears fell from her eyes, and she twisted her hands, looking pitiful. I truly was impressed with her acting skills, slightly less annoyed by her now that she wasn't touching Nate.
"How could you, Lenora?!" She cried. "We've been so close all these years.... Only having each other..."
I interrupted, feeling tired. "Really? I would say you are much closer to Prince Ronan than you are to me."
"You're twisting things! It wasn't my fault!" She glanced at Nate, obviously hoping for sympathy, but he only stared in a different direction, as if pretending she didn't exist. "I was forced into it... he doesn't really care about me..."
"Are you criticizing your prince?" I raised an eyebrow. "Do you know the consequences of that?"
"Don't you do that all the time?" Nate whispered, his chest shaking with suppressed laughter. I poked him again.
The King and Queen had since arrived, watching the proceedings with disapproving frowns. Edith glanced at them, and then turned, staring at me with confusion. I had always given way to her, in this life and the last. She was unused to arguing with me, and obviously wasn't sure how to proceed.
"Lenora, the initial sales are fantastic!" Erica ran up, nodding approvingly when she saw me and Nate standing together.
"YOU?!!" Edith faced her with a glare! "So THIS is where you've been hiding you slut!"
Nate and I both bristled, ready to intervene, but before we could speak Erica turned and smiled. "Who's the dancing monkey?"
"HOW DARE YOU?!" Edith shouted. "Do you know how much trouble the Earl of Beral gave us after you ran away? Half of my family's fortune is gone thanks to you!" She then looked to the King and Queen, "Your Majesties, she is a criminal, who broke a promise of engagement and ran away with a deserter from the Eastern guard!"
I stepped forward. "Oh, Edith, you're mistaken. You're thinking of Lady Erica, the young single noblewoman who mysteriously disappeared before her forced marriage to a terrible older man." I pointed in the direction of the girl in question. "THIS is Erica, a married commoner of Tilendria who works in my shop. With all the proper paperwork to prove it."
Edith glared at me. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"Yes of course." I shrugged. "But I fail to see the relevance to the issue at hand."
The Queen burst out laughing, as if unable to hold it in any longer. Turning red, Edith took a deep breath. "I will not stay here and be mistreated like this. I will return to the palace."
"Have a safe trip, that's a long road back to Reterand." I called after her.
She stopped. "The TILENDRIAN palace!"
"Oh." I turned to the king and Queen. "You may want to find her a room with a lock. Just to keep the number occupants in her room consistent overnight."
"LENORA!" Edith shouted, but I ignored her.
"Well, I'll go oversee the rest of the grand opening, farewell!" I grabbed Erica's hand and walked back towards the store. Nate started to follow but was held back by his parents.
"Actually, son..." The king shuffled awkwardly. "Can we talk?"
Nate paused, "Sure?"
I entered the shop, smiling.
_________________________
We kept busy until the shop closed, the group sitting down with a long sigh.
"Thanks, by the way, for defending me!" Erica smiled. "You're a true friend."
I shook my head slightly, too tired to argue.
"Are you returning to the palace?"
"Hmm... maybe I'll just stay here a little longer." I coughed uncomfortably. It had been easier to face Nate earlier because I was preoccupied with Edith, but what if he wanted to spend time alone. My face turned red, and I felt an aching pain in my chest at the thought.
"Wait... why...?" Erica's eyes widened. "You're blushing! There's been a breakthrough in the impenetrable wall of denseness!" She squealed with delight, clapping her hands
I frowned. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Why, isn't this a good thing?" Erica walked nearer, ignoring the warning glances from Rig and Marile. "You should be happy..."
"I'm not." My voice was cold.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Marile asked, looking concerned.
"No, I would like to be alone." Everyone exchanged glances at my curt tone.
"Okay, we'll go get Hallers then." They walked upstairs, leaving me staring up after them, speechless.
Hallers walked down from where he had been cleaning upstairs, his face solemn. "Miss, would you like to take a walk?"
"..."I looked up at him, my heart in tangles. "Sure."
_________________________
We walked side by side silently. I slowly relaxed, feeling more comfortable as we moved along.
"Hallers, what if someone once made a terrible mistake, and then got the chance to do things better... only to make the almost the exact same mistake again?" I started talking, my voice quiet. "Wouldn't you call that person an idiot? They knew exactly what happened the last time they made that mistake... but they still... did it again."
My eyes filled with tears, and I blinked rapidly, trying to keep them at bay. "How foolish would that be?"
Hallers was quiet for a few long moments, and I tensed up again, feeling miserable. Suddenly he stopped and I almost crashed into him, looking up with confusion.
He was smiling. "Miss, it is never a mistake to love someone."
"What?" I started. "How did you...?"
He patted my head. "I've known you for a very long time. You've faced every adversity head on, and never let go of the people you care about. You're aren't a fool, or a coward."
"But I am." I whispered, my head hanging down. "I can't face this. Not again."
He reached out, pulling me into a tight hug. "You can face anything, Miss. And no matter what happens, good or bad. I'll be by your side."
I held onto him, feeling warmth in my heart. "Thank you, Hallers. How do you always know exactly what to say?"
He stepped back, smiling. "Never underestimate a competent butler."
We kept walking. "So what is your plan?" He asked finally.
"No plan yet. " I looked around thinking. "Even just facing my feelings is too much right now. And even if I care... that doesn't mean it would be reciprocated."
"..." Hallers started coughing, as if covering up a laugh. "I wouldn't worry too much, Miss. Everything will happen in good time."
I sighed. "I suppose so." I reached out and hugged him briefly. "Thank you."
"Anything for you."
_________________________
Having Edith around was extremely uncomfortable.
She spent nearly every waking moment around Nate, smiling, flirting, and complimenting him. The only time she let him out of her sight was when she was trying to get on the King and Queen's good side.
"It's horrible." Nate sat next to me in Prosperity's back room, his face pale and haggard. "She's everywhere, always smiling. I'm starting to have nightmares." He looked over at me. "How you survived growing up near her is a miracle."
"I'm sorry." I felt genuinely bad. "It's my fault..."
"Oh no!" He interrupted. "There's no way this is your fault. What is she thinking? She's about to marry that idiot Ronan and now she's behaving like this?!"
I smiled, suppressing a brief desire to reach out and hold his hand, "Maybe she's wised up and realized who the better prince is."
"Really? Do you mean that?" Nate's grin was mischievous as he stared at me. "Do you think I'm a better potential husband than Ronan?"
I felt embarrassed, but tried to force my expression to remain calm. "That's not really a compliment... I'd probably marry a dog before I'd marry him."
"Still..." He shrugged. "Glad to know at least I'm on the list of candidates."
I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head.
"How are you getting along with your parents?" I asked.
"I won't lie... it's been rough." His smile was sad. "Too many years of mistakes, too many words spoke that hurt. But they're trying, they really are. " He reached out and took my hand. "I can never thank you enough for what you've done."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, staring up at the ceiling.
He chuckled, and didn't say anything further.
_________________________
Later that evening, Edith was even more blatant than normal. The King and Queen had arranged a quiet dinner, and Edith immediately headed towards the spot next to Nate, preparing to sit next to him with a smile.
I was done.
"Edith." I called out, my voice stern. "I realize that you haven't begun your etiquette training yet and probably don't know, but seating is in order of rank and position."
She paused her eyes narrowed as she tried to hide her hostility towards me with a fake smile. "Lenora, surely you're joking. I am a future Queen!"
I didn't return the smile. "That is yet to be determined. Future rank does not determine your position now. You are below me, Edith, as the daughter of the Count of Erand. You will refer to me as Lady Lenora, and kindly take your proper place at the table or be escorted out for offending your superiors."
I forced myself to remain calm, walking over to the chair next to Nate as if the conversation hadn't occurred. Inside I felt acutely uncomfortable. I had never in my life used my rank to push someone down. But I was done watching Edith play around.
If she wanted to continue pretending then I would tear her façade down.
Edith's face turned red, then white, astonishingly bright shades. She began sobbing, looking up at the King and Queen for pity, while reaching out to grab Nate's coat. "How could you be so cruel?!! I know you're jealous, Lenora, because Ronan never loved you but still, you shouldn't take it out on me..."
Nate pulled back, avoiding her hand. "Was anything she said untrue?" The King and Queen nodded, their faces unsympathetic.
She stared at him in shock. "Y- you can't talk to me that way! Ronan will have your head!"
I tried to hold back my anger and frustration of the past few days, her last words threatening to snap my tenuous control. "Where do you think you are? " The question was soft, but Edith, seeing my face, backed away. "This is Tilendria. Whatever pitiful influence you have back home means nothing here. Your actions and words bring shame to our kingdom, and bring into doubt Prince Ronan's judgement and character."
I sat down finally, noting the Queen's approving smile.
"Miss Edith is tired." Nate spoke up, his voice angry. "Please escort her back to her room."
Edith protested, but quickly followed the servants out of the room, leaving the room in silence.
Nate sat next to me, grinning. "You've never fought with her so openly before. Do you feel better?"
I frowned. "A little. Don't really like the methods I used."
"Don't worry." His hand reached out, gently touching my hair for a moment. "I'm just happy to have you on my side."
The rest of the dinner passed peacefully.
_________________________
Later that evening, I received a letter from Nate to meet him in the kitchen. I read it, wondering if he had a servant write it. The handwriting seemed different. Strange, he usually comes and picks me up personally.
Not wanting to miss a chance to speak to him, I headed out, moving towards the kitchens, a slight smile on my face. But as I drew closer to the entryway to the kitchen, my steps slowed, my enthusiasm fizzling out.
There were two people talking in the kitchen.
I peeked around the corner, my heart skipping as I realized it was Nate and Edith.
How did she know Nate was here? I wondered briefly. Was this all set up by her? It would explain the strange letter.
"Where is Lenora?" Nate's voice was colder than I had ever heard before.
Edith clasped her hands, stepping closer to the prince. "I'm sorry, Your Highness, I deceived you. I just desperately wanted to speak with you and knew you wouldn't come if I put the right name on it... after all, I know what lies Lenora has spoken about me!"
She wiped a few tears from her eyes, smiling prettily. "We grew up together, but she was always jealous of me. Always making up terrible rumors to ruin my reputation. Even now, I'm forced into an engagement with the prince due to her schemes when the one I truly love..." Edith hesitated, her cheeks blushing, "... is you."
My breath froze painfully in my chest, as I stood silently in shock, staring at the two. What was happening? Why is this...? I shook my head, unsure of whether or not to step out. I had no claim to Nate, regardless of my feelings. He should have the chance to respond...
"Is there something wrong with your brain?"
"..."
"..."
Edith and I both stared at Nate silently, confused.
"I'm not even going to touch your blatant lies about Ronan, when I've personally seen you scheme behind Lenora's back to betray her with her fiancé. I'll ignore the lies about whatever feelings you claim to have for me, when you treated me as a servant not too long ago before you knew my identity. "
He stepped forward, his face grim. "But I will not look aside as you lie about the woman I love."
What?
"What?" Edith voiced out my thoughts unintentionally.
"Is it really so surprising?" He laughed, spreading his hands helplessly. "Lenora is a truly amazing person. I have never met someone who cares for others so much. She once intentionally put her life in danger, just to prevent the people in her Duchy from being taken advantage of by corrupt men. She cries at the thought of someone going hungry. And no matter how hard she works, how much effort she puts in for others, she never seeks the spotlight, never asks to be compensated or rewarded."
"But..." Edith sputtered. "You've just been fed lies by her people... They'll say anything for her!"
He shook his head. "Why do you think the people around her are so loyal? She furiously protects those close to her, never putting herself before them. She's earned their trust, and doesn't betray it."
His voice grew softer. "I love her. Her confidence at facing a hostile world, her absolutely crazy plans. Her smiles. Her tears. Everything." He chuckled. "Even her denseness."
"I-" Edith stared at him, open mouthed, obviously thrown. I felt the same.
"So whatever your plan is, to make her sad, to make her jealous, I don't know. But I'll never look away from her, so it's useless to waste your time here." He turned away. "I was going to tell you this in the morning, but your shamelessness has overcome whatever thoughts of politeness I had. I've arranged for you to leave Tilendria and return home. Never bother Lenora again."
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" She shouted.
"I can, and I have. In fact... I think you should leave tonight. I'll make your goodbyes to Lenora." He rang a small bell on the wall, and after a few moments a servant stepped in through a back door. "Escort her to the stables. Miss Edith is leaving now."
It took three servants to drag her out, as she struggled and cursed, screaming at Nate that she would never give up. Her shouts faded into silence as they closed the door behind them, leaving Nate alone in the kitchen, with me spying on him from the doorway.
He sighed with relief, sitting down and holding his face in his hands. "As long as she's safe, it's okay." He whispered.
I felt torn. Should I step in and talk to him? What would I say? How could I say it? I felt happy, embarrassed... terrified.
After a few moments of indecision, I quietly went back to my room, ashamed but unable to turn around to speak to him. I wasn't ready to face this.
Not yet.
_________________________
Over the next few days I became more and more restless, an uneasy feeling building in my chest. I couldn't help but think that something terrible was about to happen, even if I couldn't figure out what. My anxiety seemed to infect Hallers and the rest, who were more on guard.
Then, after about a week, Nate called me over, looking upset.
I kept my expression carefully neutral as I approached him. We had still spent time together in the last few days since I overheard him and Edith, but I had cut most of our time together short, feeling uncomfortable. I didn't know how to face him, knowing how I felt. How he felt.
I had trusted love so much in my last life. Could I really do it again?
"I have to go on a trip." Nate told me as soon as I arrived.
The unexpected news gave me pause. "Is something wrong?"
"Bandits." He said quietly. "Right at the border. There's already been multiple attacks. Something isn't right, either... they seem too well trained..." He paused shaking his head. "I have to go and see this for myself. There's something we're missing. I have to leave today."
I thought of how George died, my chest tight with fear. "Do you really have to? I mean... it won't be safe."
"It's okay." He smiled, seeming to understand my concerns. "I'll take every precaution. " He reached out, taking my hand in his. "I'm just sad to be away from you. Please be careful while I'm gone."
I nodded, not taking my hand back, letting him hold it. "I'll be careful if you will be too."
He laughed at that. "Deal. And when I get back..." His face grew more serious. "Let's have a talk."
"Okay." I agreed, my heart beating fast. "We will."
"..." He still seemed reluctant, but eventually bowed, kissing the hand he still held. "Goodbye Lenora."
Nate turned and walked away, his cheeks bright red.
"Goodbye, Nate." I whispered, wishing I could pull him back.
_________________________
I felt slightly lost with Nate gone, even as I stayed busy, overseeing the shop, wandering the city, having dinner with the King and Queen. It was strange to know he wasn't nearby. Even with me avoiding him, the knowledge that I could see him every day had been comforting, and losing that made me feel off balance.
I returned to my room that night, sitting down with a sigh.
The peace and quiet didn't last long.
"LENORA!" Rig burst in, Hallers trailing behind. "Something's wrong!"
"Is it Nate?!" He had just left!
To my relief, he shook his head. "We received two messages, one from my people, and one from your spy within Edith's people.
Angela?
I took the messages reading them carefully. Rig's spy was concerned as the Reterand royal palace had been making movements, organizing a secret force, but the location of their deployment remained unknown.
The second from Angela was simple:
"Please come back. The Queen needs you."
I shook my head. "Something is wrong." The uneasiness I had felt grew worse. "The King is planning something. We have to go."
Rig shook his head. "Don't be foolish. You returning home right now could put you in danger! Let me send some people over, to investigate."
"No." I stood up. "We have a plan, remember? And for that... I'll have to see the King face to face." I looked at the note from Angela, my mind racing. Had she betrayed me again to Edith? Or was the Queen truly in danger?
Either way... it was time to go home.