"Yeah, we better,"I said crinkling my nose, and pushed him with my shoulder. "There's another thing I want to ask you,"
"Oh gosh, what now!"he groaned.
"Pipe down and listen!"I snapped at him. "I was going to ask... why did you have sex with all those girls at school?" I looked at Jay V's face as it turned into fear.
"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that."Jay V said after a moment. "I never really had sex with any of them. They were drunk, too drunk to remember if we did it or not. I did, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I did have sex with Lucy, and a few...6 other girls. The rest are just rumors."
"Then why the fuck did you have me and the gang believe that you actually had sex with the whole female student body?"
"Have you ever noticed WHEN I started doing that?"Jay V looked at me with sad eyes.
"Um...sophomore year?"I guessed.
"Beginning of Senior year. Time flys by and seems as if it were ages ago Clair. You asked why I did it. Why I let everyone think I slept with a lot of girls. Breaking their hearts, being a jerk to them. The reason is...is so stupid."he said shaking his head, his sad eyes still there. "That's when I found out,"he said quietly, so quiet that I wasn't sure I caught all the words.
"A year ago?"I asked, how could he keep such a big, enormous secret from for so long? How the hell did he manage that? He played football games, he partied like there was no tomorrow, he did a lot of things a dying man should not do! And don't get me started about his 18th birthday! Damn, what is wrong with Jay V?
"Yeah, a year ago. Clair I-"
"How the fuck did you keep this secret in you for so long? Why didn't you tell any of us? Me? The Gang? Your brother? Your sister? What would Michael think? What would Marie think? How the hell did you not tell any one for almost a year! What kind of person does that!?"I screamed at him, my voice raising high and high. "Are you fucking insane! Do you know what a enormous wreck I've been for the past 3 months, and then you put this on me all of a sudden! "
"And what about me?"Jay V retorted, his voice also rising with every word. "I kept the secret of me dying for almost a year. Seeing everyone so carefree and happy, you don't think I woukd feel sad about it?"
"But you WEREN'T sad."I said. "I KNOW you Jay V, you weren't sad. For one whole you you were a player, a jerk,-"
"Hot jerk-"Jay V interrupted.
"Who was drinking alcohol, got into car crashes, had sex at almost every party or at least pretended too, was on the football team who took tackles and tackled others, and so many more things that could have been effecting your leukemia. Did you seriously risked your fucking life into normality just to give us all a big show? "
"YES, in fact I DID risk my damn life giving everyone a big show, because I want to be remembered as someone, not a football player who died of leukemia! I wanted people to remember me, was that so hard?"Jay V yelled.
"You son of a-"
"Haven you even ever considered my feelings Clair? How hard it was to fake being carefree and happy? What the hell was going on in my mind, since Josh showed up? What I was feeling when my mom put us into marriage?!"
"I went through with that!"I objected, yelling back at him. How dare he accuse me of not- But I didn't. I didn't once consider what he was going through. His pain of never knowing when he was going to die. I was just thinking about me. How much pain I was in. My emotional stress when Jay V was at the hospital. When Josh showed up and Rose. I was just thinking of me. Just me. I can't believe I am so selfish!
"I went through tons of things to try and remain fucking calm, then you go on and say that I went through all of that just for pretend? What is WRONG with you huh? I did everything I had to do!"
"And who was forcing you?"I screamed, fed up with this argument. Stay calm, Clair. Just stay calm. What a fail that was. I thought, telling myself to remain calm was like being locked in a submarine trying to grow grass.
"Me! I was forcing myself. I kept telling myself, that sooner or later you and the gang will know. That you will all know that I will die and-"
"And then what?"I interrupted him. "What did you think would happen when we found out? What did you think we would do? Did you think we'd cry and say nice knowing you? Did you think we'd abandon you? Did you think you'd be on your own? Because if that's the case you will never be on your own Jay V. You have me, you have Bryan, Derek, Jaden, and Blake. "
"I know that."he said, looking straight at my eyes.
"Then finish your sentence."I said, returning his gaze.
"That you will all know that I will die...and be different. You think I want to see everyone feel all mopey and sappy and shit? No, I want all of you to be exactly the same. The same before you all found out about my leukemia. Movie and Game day and night, was one of the most NORMAL thing for a while. Everyone was the same, like it should have been from the very start. You have been a fucking emotional wreck for a while, since you found out and a bit before that. I have never seen you cry so much in your life before a few months ago. That is not the Clair Bear I know. Not one bit. I'm not the only one who has been acting differently." For the first time, I looked away.
"You're right."I said, letting out a mad fake laugh. "You're right. I have changed haven't I? I guess drama does something to you, to everybody who's in it."I laughed again, don't cry, don't cry. Jay V is right, what happened? I never cried before, why should I now?
"Drama has nothing to do with it Clair. You just lost yourself." Jay V replied, scooting closer to me. I hadn't realize the distance between us til now. "You're still the same Clair, character is something everyone is born with. You're strong, so strong. That's why I love you." I looked at him, and leaned in, giving him a soft kiss.
"We shouldn't fight."I said, as Jay V wrapped his arms around me. I leaned closer to his ear and whispered, "the baby doesn't like it." I kissed his cheek, and pulled the covers over my body, lying down, facing away from him.
"Clair," Jay V whispered in my ear, brushing my bangs behind my ear. Jay V wrapped his arm around me, and snuggled closer. "That isn't very nice, you're facing away from me."
"So what? I always sleep like this. Facing the wall, that way I can see nothing but black and think my eyes are closed when they really aren't. That's how I fall asleep! You know that!"I said, sticking my tongue out, though he can't see it.
"I know your sticking your tongue out. That's isn't very mature you know that. 18 year olds should act their age."
"Like I care,"I snorted. "Alright, I'm going to sleep now,"
"Yeah, you do that, miss I talk a lot."
"Shut up mister yell at a pregnant women!"
"Oh please! We found out that you were pregnant sometime ago in the past 2 weeks. You can just pretend that you aren't pregnant and do some shit before the 9 months where all you do is sit there and eat and cry and have anger issues."
"I already have anger issues,"I said turning my body, facing Jay V.
"Fine, anger issues that you can get away with." Jay V smiled.
"That already happens,"I smiled back. Jay V wrapped his arms around me, pressing his body against mine.
"Goodnight Clair Bear."
"Goodnight Jay V,"I said, closing my eyes.
Jay V's POV
I woke up to Clair snoring softly next to me; still sleeping peaceful. I kissed her forehead and carefully slip off the bed. I walked into the bathroom and go go straight to the faucet. Lifting my right hand to the cold water handle. I yawned and touched the cool knob. I turned the knob and-wait. Looking down at my hand, I noticed that I didn't have a grip to begin with. Oh no. Not again. This is the 5th time this week. I raised my right hand to my face. The tips of my fingers were painted purple. Shit. I dropped my arm, and let it hang. I leaned onto the counter, holding myself with my left arm. It's getting worse and I know it, how the hell am I suppose to break this to Clair? She flipped out on me when she found out about the leukemia news, what will she do about this? I looked at my hand, the purple is getting lighter, few more minutes should do. I sighed, I turned on the cold water, and cupped my left hand over it. I washed my face, and got a towel, drying myself. Clair blew up on me last night, I shouldn't make her angry or make her worry anymore. Why can't I just magically get better?
I walked out and walked to my closet, pushing the slide door with my left hand, I threw a dark blue tee out onto the floor and got some dark wash blue jeans. Shit, how am I suppose to do this now? I looked back at my fingers, okay, let's try this. I lifted the t-shirt with my left hand, and attempted to put my shirt on. It ended up on the floor. I groaned with frustration.
"Mmm *snores* mm," my head snapped towards the bed, okay, good. Clair is still asleep.I don't have to face her morning rage...but she's pregnant now...shit. I lifted my shirt again, tried to put it on again; back on the floor. Again. Fuck! My hands were in fists now, what the fuck! Why can't I do this! If I have 3 months to live, I'm going to end up in a bed having someone do everything. I'm going to be useless.
What's going to happen to me? I thought, picking my clothes up and heading to the bathroom. I locked the door, and stood there, thinking, just thinking. Clair is going to be famous, I know that, Song knows that, the gang is kinda ify, and Clair herself is 50/50. When Clair becomes the next big superstar like I know she will be, will she met someone else?
Clair promised, forced to promise, me that she would at least try to find another guy, though it breaks my heart to see her with another man. I sighed, and put on my t-shirt and- I froze. Half of my shirt on, half off. I quickly put my shirt on, and looked at my right hand. Back to normal. I wiggled all my fingers and made a fist. "Alright, finally."I whispered. I put on my jeans, and brushed my teeth.
Clair is probably going to run in here throwing up last night's dinner. Maybe sushi wasn't a good idea. I smacked myself in the head, and opened the door, leaving it wide open. Toilet seat lifted, and cleaning supplies ready and out. Shit. Clair is going to be in a pissy mood. I can just hear her saying'I can't believe you set all this up! Were you expecting me to throw up huh? Cause if that is the case you should ahve made me take meds! Ican't believe you, you even had the toilet set up and the door wide open! What the fuck Jay V!' I thought for a moment, that conversation sounds so real! Hmm, nah, I'll just leave it.
I looked at the clock, 9:45, Clair should be asleep til 11:34(her favorite time to wake up, I don't know why) so I have time to do whatever. Don't you just hate that? You know you have time to do whatever you please, but there is just nothing to do, then you end up regretting it? I got on the bed, turning on the TV I flipped through channel by channel.
"Hey kids it's-"
"Go pikachu!-"
"Blues clues it's blues clues-"
Shit. Shit. Shit.Shit.Shit.This looks interesting...I stopped on Confessions of an Animal Hoarder.Nope. Never mind, that lady is wack! Who the fuck keeps 57 cats? I flipped through more channels; in the end I turned off the TV. I got my phone; 4 new messages.
from:Jaden
Yo! The gang is handing at my house later at 10, get your lazy ass up, mister I haven't played a football game in months.
I chuckled, hmm, I could make it if I leave now. But what about Clair? I'll leave her a note, and tell my mom to help her. Next one.
from: Blake
Dude! Can you help me out here? Bryan just broke up with Allissa because well...I said that she was an annoying clingy bitch, and he got mad at me. Then he broke up with her because I was right, plus have you noticed she's always saying she needs a new boyfriend? Wel-
Next page.
l she was dropping hints that Bryan needed to be a better man than he is, which I don't get, and blew off on him. It wasn't pretty, I was there and it was like a nightmare! Anyways, we're going to Jaden's met you there and then you see Bryan and whatever the hell he is doing.
I've always hated that girl.
from:Derek
Yo, we're all hanging at Jaden's at 10, you better be there. Guys only, that's why its at 10, Clair should still be asleep, and might stay asleep for a long time. Pregnant ladies sleep a lot.
Oh yeah, him and Jenna. But I doubt Clair could sleep any longer than she in right now.
from: Bryan
Duddddddeeeeee!!!!!!!! I broke up with Allissa, what should I do bro? We already are going to the same college! She's gonna make my life hell! HELL! H.E.L.L.!
PS: we're meting at Jaden's at 10
I looked to the clock, alright it's 9:58 I can still make it. I walked down the stairs getting my keys, and my shoes on. I walked out the door, into the garage and to my car. I started up the car and drove to Jaden's house, took me about 4 minutes. I pulled up with Blake behind me.
"Sup man,"Blake said giving me a nod.
"Sup,"I said and we did our handshake that we mde up in the second grade. "Hows Bryan?"
"Better than yesterday. Man he is saying some serious shit about Allissa."
"Like what?"
"Hear and see for yourself man." We walked into Jaden's house and could hear Bryan ranting off about what a bad girlfriend Allissa was. Damn, it's been what, 10 days since they started dating. What the fuck?
"Help me" Derek mouth at us.
"Dude, I swear she is a fucking gold digger! All she wanted was my money, I guess she thought I was rich considering I am friends with Jay V, Rogers inc heir to thy throne of the world!"
"Dude, you are rich." Jaden said patting him on the back.
"But not rich as in what she thinks. When we went to the mall yesterday do you know what she said to me? 'Don't forget my birthstone is Ruby!' I mean come on! She's basically telling me to buy her jewlery! I've never went jewlery shopping in my life dudes!"
"Well it's easy, remember that heart necklace I got for Clair, for her 15th birthday?" I said sitting down. "Well Clair liked hearts back then, so it was a good gift. Plus I just kinda sat there on the internet on google and searched up heart necklaces and went to this site and got it for her. But anyways, you have went jewlery shopping. Remember that one girl you dated. She wanted those earrings, you went back and bought it for her. Few months later you found out she sold it and made a fortune. Then you two broke up and-"
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Stopping going down memory lane mom." Bryan said, drinking his coke.
"So whats with the breakup daughter?"I smirked.
"Well the bitch said I was a cheapscape, and that I wasn't a good boyfriend cause I never got her anything for our one week anniversary. My bad, I didn't know girls actually did crap like that!"
"I thought those things only happened in movies,"Derek said.
"So did I!"Blake said, "so what did she say?"
"Welll, she blew off saying how unromanric I was and that I need to be more considerate to her damn feelings. I was like please, I think of her feeling...here and there."
"Dude, you are such an idiot!"Derek said.
"Well, come on man, you care for Jenna cause she's pregnant and all, because thats something important! That is a child's life at stake here!"
"Dude, it's not like she's taking drugs or smoking. The baby's life is not in danger." Blake said shaking his head. Wow, Bryan is dumber than before. How the hell did we all pass high school?
Bryan opened his mouth as if he was going to say somehting, then closed it, opened it, then closed it. "Whatever,"he finally muttered. We all laughed.
"Alright, now get to the part where you called her a bad girlfriend."Blake said, finishing his sprite.
"Oh yeah! Right, so after she blew up on me I blew up on her syaing that she is a selfish annoying bitch who thinks of no one but herself. And then this DUDE comes in and kisses her, then says hey to me, calls me Mike. Who the fuck is MIKE? Mike is her brother, who apparently looks like me, as in hair color and eye color sense. But that's what set me off man. Oh my god! How could I be so stupid? I went out with an annoying selfish cheating bitch! I mean, who does that! Why the hell does she want to start something with me?"
"So you were basically jealous?"I said, holding in my laughter.
"No, these is a difference. I was feeling angry. She accuses me of being a bad boyfriend, when she was a terrible girlfriend. Plus, she can't kiss right! Not a good kisser at all man. I thought her kissing skills would get better, but no! I thought she was a beginner, you know, thats why she can't kiss right, but no! She has experience, but isn't good at it. I can't believe I went out with that bitch." Bryan said, ranting on and on. Still, his drama beats mine anyday. We chilled a bit more, Bryan ranting, Derek , Jaden, and Blake countering his words, me joining in a few times, other than that I was worried about Clair.
"Dude, if you're so worried about our Clairy Beary, you should go home. Who needs you,"smirked Jaden.
I sighed,"Alright. Plus she should be waking up soon and-"
"Okay, just go. Good thing is that I don't have to smell her bad throw up breath. You guys ate sushi last night right? Ooo, I feel sorry for you man." Jaden said, wrinkling his nose.
"You guys are so stupid!" Derek said. "Alright, later man. We might swing by later."
"Yeah sure, I don't know if we are going to do anything, but alright." we said our goodbyes and then I drove home. 11:35. I ran upstairs and burst opened the door.
"Nice to see SOMEONE home."Clair said, flipping through channels.
"Yeah, umm...I was just....uhhh....you okay? You don't look so goodl."I managed to get out. Shit, I'm dead. Clair is going to kill me.
"And why was the toilet seat up, cleaning supplies out, and a toothbrush on the edge of the counter? You were waiting for it to happen weren't you?"
"Clair, I left the house, who knows what could've happened!"I said, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
"Apparently you do, considering our mom came in and checked up on me every 5 minutes. Making sure I didn't throw up or anything like that. " Clair said glaring at me.
"Oh, that was entirely her fault! I didn't ask her to do that!"I said raising my hands up in defense.
"Mmmhmm,"she said, "I quote'Mom, don't forget to check up on Clair, incase something happens' unquote." Dammit, that old bitch showed her the note!
"Okay, I wrote that, but come on! She checked up on you every 5 minutes was HER fault!"I said, ahh is there anyway to escape this?
Clair's POV
I felt Jay V get off the bed, I opened my eyes just a crack and saw him go to the bathroom. I sighed, and fell back asleep....
I woke up again to Jay V groaning. "MMm*snore* mmm"I snored, I shifted my body so it was facing towards Jay V. I kept my eyes closed and opened them just a little crack. Jay V was trying to get his shirt on, but failed. Why? Why did he fail to get his shirt on? That's when I noticed he wasn't using his right hand. What the hell is going on? Dammit! I've jkust about to had it with all the secrets, I just want to get out of bed and help him get his damned shirt on and demand what the hell is going on.
But I can't. I can't do it. Jay V has his reasons, and I really don't want to have another fight. Jay V sighed in frustration, taking his clothes he went into the bathroom, locking the door. I sighed, and opened my eyes, looing at the ceiling. What is going on in Jay V's head right now? What's happening to him? Is it getting worse? Is he worried about what will happen to him?
Jay V came out and I saw him fully dressed, good. I closed my eyes again, and waited for sleep, again. I felt the bed shift, Jay V next to me, I rested my head on his arm, and felt his hand move my hair away from my face. Giving me a kiss of the head, Jay V turned on the TV and starts to flip through channels. I was getting tired, I don't know when, but I fell asleep.Again.
I woke up, again, and Jay V was gone. I hurried to the already opened bathroom and puked out last night's dinner. Shit, that taste nasty! I brushed my teeth and cleaned up my mess. I took a shower, cause I kinda got it in my hair, I dryed my hair and went back to bed. Ugh, I feel like shit. I laid in bed, and turned on the TV. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, hmmm...this looks interesting. I stopped on Confessions of an Animal Hoarder. Oh my god! Never mind, this show is shit! Who wants to know that you own over 100 chickens? I turned off the TV and sighed. Jay V is gone, where did he go? It's 10:45 now.
"Clair? How you feeling?"said my mom. Damn, you do not know how hard it is to call this woman my MOM. I called her 'the bitch' a few months ago! What the hell!
"I'm feeling alright, thanks."I said.
"You need anything?"
"Food."I said.
"Alright, I'll get you some."
A few minutes later Mrs.Rogers comes in with a tray , those trays where you can eat in bed, that had a plate filled with eggs, bacon, biscuts, and a glass filled with orange juice.
"Nice."I commented.
"Alright, eat up. Jay V told me to check up on you, he left a note."Mrs. rogers said. Dammit, I can't call her mom can I? Oh well.
"A note? Hmm,"where the hell did he go? He left a note to the Bitch? Alright,. old habbits die hard. As in it'll takle me a few years.I wonder...Jay V expected me to throw up, thats why there were cleaning suppiles out and the toilet was prepared....that little idiot! "Can I see it?"I asked.
"Yeah, it''s right here." she handed me the note. Huh, he is so gonna get it. Hmm, I smiled evily, maybe I can have a little fun.
I quickly finished my food, and told her that I was still tired. She left me alone, and I kept the note. Jay V Rogers, you are in for a thrill.
**AHHH it's finally done!
HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY I Will NOT,can NOT fall in LOVE with the Hot/Player/Jerk of a best friend!
:O
Can you believe it? Oneyear already readers! I'll be posting every month now, I know I didn't leave off any cliff hangers this time, but I think it's best, cause I mean come on! Now no one knows whats going to happen in the next chapter! What do you think will happen in the next chapter? Hmm, I'm going to return to wattpad now :) I quit for a bit because of school, and I'll try to post more like I used to!
Thanks for still being my fans even after 30 defanned me cause I didn't post! I'll try harder! :)
~Tiffany