"Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand."
~Hayley Williams
Ken was glad that Grace was out and safe, but that he had to stay around them a little while longer didn't appease his burning jealousy.
"You're too readable Ken." Tiff sat beside him on the couch, where he leisurely sat and glared at Shawn who had Grace's undivided attention.
"Who are you?" Ken shifted away from the girl, narrowing his eyes at the ginger that played with a dagger.
"I'm Tiffany." She answered, putting the dagger back in the strap around her thigh.
"One of Shawn's little pawns? Get away from me." He scoffed, folding his arms and turning his eyes back to Shawn and Grace.
He was glad that Grace was happy, really, he was, but if that was really enough to make him happy- he wasn't sure.
He wanted to be the reason for her soft giggles and her obnoxious laughter, he wanted to be the sole reason for her happiness- that, that would make him happy.
It was selfish of him, but he couldn't help it.
"The same way you wish you could put a bullet through his head, is the same way I wish I could stab her to death." She gained Ken's attention once more, making him look at her with widened eyes.
"You like Shawn?" He grimaced, his face cringing into one of the most disgusted looks he could muster.
"I've known him all my life, of course I do." She huffed and folded her arms, turning her eyes to Shawn and Grace.
How could they talk so easily like that, like no one was watching, like they were the only ones left in the universe?
She'd never seen Shawn talk like that, not even to Kevin.
Shawn could hardly hold a conversation, he would just shrug all the time- even if he knew the answer.
Everything about that situation didn't make sense to Tiffany, she was sure that Grace had done something to Shawn- something unthinkable.
"So, he's known you all his life and still chose a girl that he's only known for a little more than three months over you?" Ken chuckled, finding solace in the other's misfortune.
"Hahaha, laugh it up. Grace did the same to you." She rolled her eyes, cutting Ken's laugh short.
They dwelt in silence for a while longer, the both of them just looking at Grace and Shawn.
"Tell me, why Shawn?" Ken shifted closer to her, comforted by her understanding.
"Shawn is selfless, but only to the people he cares about. He doesn't let people into his heart easily, but once he does, he'll never let go. He makes me feel as though I'm worth something, he makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, and that's just us as friends."
Ken looked at her then at Grace, "That's not the reason she loves him, is it?"
Tiff shook her head, at a loss for words. She couldn't see any other reason for Grace to like Shawn, but she knew that there was another and she wanted to know that reason.
"You should hear them talk to each other. There's no putting her high on a pedestal, if anything, I treat her way better than Shawn does. He talks to her like how he would talk to his sister, or even as one of the bros, not as someone he would want to spend the rest of his life with."
Ken focused his eyes back of Tiffany who seemed to be studying Grace intently, almost as if that would give her all her answers.
"Why do you like Grace then? She sounds very stupid to me." Ken chuckled at Tiffany's words, letting his head rest on the cushion.
"Well for one, she's optimistic, not stupid. She's quick to see the good in people's hearts and always bypasses their negatives so she can bring out their positives, she believes that everyone can be a good person. She's welcoming. Even if you're really rude to her, she won't turn her back on you like most of us would. Tell her she's the ugliest creature alive and she'll thank you with a smile on her face, then she'll tell you how gorgeous you look. That's how she puts me high on a pedestal, I'm always the best and the greatest." Ken groaned internally.
"And I'm guessing that's not the reason Shawn likes her, is it?" Ken shook his head in response to Tiffany's question.
"He says she is his saving grace." He opened his eyes and looked at Tiff, her sea green eyes glued on him.
"Oh, yeah. That makes sense, with Kevin being gone and all. But Shawn handles things on his own, he hates it when people interfere with his personal business. He loves solitude, why would he let her in?" She met his dark eyes, her own green ones filled with curiosity and confusion.
"Ha, he didn't need to let her in for her to get in. Grace has a way of forcing herself into people's business without even knowing. She's relentless, Shawn would have no choice but to open up to her." Ken chuckled, forgetting to look back at Grace and instead focussing on the green eyes right in front of him.
"I wish I could've been there for him, maybe then he would've fallen in love with me." Tiff sighed, resting her head against the cushion as well.
"You think it works like that?" Ken asked, genuinely curious.
He would build a time machine if he had to, to make sure he never killed Kevin in the first place.
He would build a time machine with his bare hands if he had to, just to make sure that Grace and Shawn's encounter never happened.
"Nope, they're tied together by fate's red string, they would've found their way back to each other. You know, being soulmates and what-nots." She closed her eyes, and only then did Ken notice how close they were to each other.
"It makes me think, you know, if I was truly in love with Shawn, I would be happy enough to befriend Grace. I wouldn't want to stab her so bad, and I wouldn't wish any harm on her. At this moment though, I want her to burn." Tiff sighed, her Gin smelling breath wafting over Ken's neck.
"So you're saying that you don't love Shawn?" He asked, his eyes doing their own thing by studying her features.
"Not like she does, maybe not at all." She opened her eyes again, meeting his shiny dark eyes.
"I know what you're thinking and you're right, it's not easy to let go. Trust me, I know, but we can't hold on forever." She sat up straight, eyes going back over to Shawn and Grace.
"I know that, still, I wish I killed him instead of Kevin." Ken sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
Before he could open his eyes again, Tiffany was straddled on his thighs and pressing a dagger to his neck.
"You killed Kevin?" She sneered loudly, gaining the attention of every one in the room.
"Get off of him!" Grace shouted, being held back by Shawn who seemed to want to see how things would play out.
"Let go of me, she's going to kill him." Grace commanded Shawn, but he just wrapped his arms around her waist and kept her on his thighs.
"So? Ken's a big boy, he can take care of himself." He rested his chin on her shoulder, secretly wanting Tiff to kill Ken.
"Get off me." Ken spoke softly, not missing the tears glistening in her green eyes.
"Answer the damn question!" She pressed the knife even closer to his neck, any further and it would draw blood.
"Yes, I did." He sighed and closed his eyes, for some reason seeing tears in her green eyes hurt him.
Shawn growled like a beast, hearing his confirmation just made Shawn want to rip Ken's spine out.
"Easy Shawn." Grace caressed his cheek, somewhat feeling his anger.
"Why- How could- Why?" Tiffany let the tears run down her face, her voice broke and became brittle.
"He put his nose in one of my transactions, I had to take him out. If I knew- if I knew how much of a mess it would've caused I wouldn't have killed him." He held her hand and pulled it away from his neck, taking the dagger out from her grip.
She bit her bottom lip to hold back her whimpers as she stared back at him, not knowing exactly what to feel.
She wanted to kill him, no, but she felt like it. She wanted to be mad, but she couldn't.
"I'm sorry." He apologized genuinely, to no one but Tiffany.
Any one else that had a problem with him killing Kevin could go suck it, but Tiffany was different.
She understood how he felt, and yet he had just caused her more pain.
"Sorry doesn't bring him back from the dead." She croaked, getting off him and storming up the stairs.
Ken didn't waste a second in following her up, it was an instant compulsion that he couldn't fight off.
"Tiff." He called but she entered her room and slammed the door shut, keeping him on the other side.
Ken and Grace had been taken to Shawn's base for safe keeping until everything died down, so Ken was well aware that he was at a disadvantage.
For all he knew, she could pull out a gun and end his life right there and then.
He could be ended by his new found companion, and he would let her.
If she decided that he wasn't worthy of life, then off with him. He wouldn't fight back.
"Tiffany." He called again through the door, resting his forehead against it.
He felt the need to soothe her ache, after all, she had soothed his without him asking for it.
Thanks to her, the burning in him had completely vanished and he felt at peace once again.
He wasn't thinking of Grace, or of Shawn, his life no longer revolved around them.
He owed her his life and his sanity, because he'd realised something when they were talking.
He didn't love Grace, not like Shawn did, maybe not at all.
"He made me happy." She said through the door, her back rested against it.
Shawn so often shattered her into pieces without knowing, but Kevin was always there to piece her back together.
Kevin had been her friend, Kevin was everyone's friend.
The world needed more people like him, she needed more people like him in her life.
"I'd bring him back if I could." Ken sighed, lifting his forehead off the door.
"I don't need your pity." She sneered, clenching her fists beside her.
Ken looked at the dagger in his hand, "I'd do it for you, not just to satisfy my guilt."
He lifted the blade so he could examine it a bit more, allowing silence to fall between them.
He smiled because he finally understood the silence, he finally understood what Grace and Shawn felt during the silence.
"At least let me return your dagger." He still had a smile on his face because, for once, he understood the unspoken words.
She opened the door and let him in, her eyes were wet, red and puffy.
He sat on her bed, watching as she stood in front of him with her arms folded and her eyes closed.
"I forgive you Ken." She lifted her chin in the air, her lips puckered into a small pout.
"Gee, thanks Barbie." He smirked at her, pressing the tip of the dagger against his index finger.
She looked at him and tried her best to suppress a smile, but failed.
"So it smiles." He chuckled, handing over her dagger back to the owner.
"I oughta kill you." She took the dagger and pointed it at him, a smile still very much on her face.
He grinned a closed-eye grin, clasping his hands together between his thighs. "You wouldn't."