SHIVAAY
What do I do know? The whole thing is messed up, the 1st thing is I can't leave Nikki. The second Diya is my love but still I am not able to get why the hell I am not able to go towards her. The one who I was waiting for years is in front but I can't go.
I wanted some space for myself to thing, this is suffocating me. Few days my life was in my control but now nothing is there in my hands and all messed up again. Something is breaking inside when I think of leaving Nikki but I am not able to understand what the hell is it!
Blaming Diya or holding her responsible for all the happening is not right, her situation wasn't in her control. I understand it but she could have at least told me about it. I was doing second by second thinking about her. If she can leave Rithik even if it is for Sacrifice for a mistake why am I not able to leave Anika even as a sacrifice.
After leaving Anika's cabin I left towards the flat where I planned my whole life with Diya. But I am not feeling the same entering it, I just want to cry hard and that's what I did. I really couldn't handle anything, Diya just moved on but never told me and I was dying without her.
Nikki. what do I tell about her! She is the gem whom I got but never deserved, even after knowing I won't be able to reciprocate the same, she never demanded or questioned me. But I know she used to take care of me and see my needs.
She understands me like no one else and gave me space never interfered in anything. She has become a matured Nikki in whom finding the bubbly Nikki is difficult.
Alcohol was my companion and now it's time has come again. I gulped the whole bottle of whiskey, soon my sense was lost. I didn't know how I reached my bed. Maybe I have an idea, who else its Nikki of course.
Morning I woke up to see her sleeping in couch, again she started. I felt bad and guilty for her, I can't even face her now. What will I ever tell her, I can't even see her having a confusion of staying or leaving? This killing me!
Reaching my office, I was still in my thoughts, confusion was clouding my mind and I can't even rid of it. Suddenly something popped in my mind, I have been avoiding her since yesterday. She would have felt bad and I the jerk again was in my sorrow. I should have at least spoke to her. Maybe a simple one.
In an hour I was standing in front of her hospital. Going through the corridors I bumped on Nithisha, why the hell do I always go Infront of her.
I didn't want to have a conversation with her so I left mumbling a sorry! to her.
"Got your Girlfriend back?" She asked sarcastically and I froze in my place.
"Excuse me" I told turning around.
"I asked got your girlfriend? Or you came her to Ask Anika to move out of your life?" She taunted me.
"Listen I don't have to give an explanation to you or anyone other than Anika. So, stay in your limits" I told moving front but will she leave, no" Of course, only to Anika. How much ever I tell to leave a jerk like you, she never listens and is back of you!
Now as you have your girlfriend, she has to leave and that's what you want! If I am not wrong" she mocked me. God this girl will die one day in my hands only. How the hell did Arnav fall in love with this idiot.
"Why the hell do you think I would leave Anika now?" I questioned her in rage building up.
"It's not me who thinks Mr. Oberoi, anyone who sees it thinks the same" she told looking at me in anger. Maybe she is right, whoever knows about my love will think the same.
Anika. What will she think and I have been avoiding her from yesterday? Shit! What did I do?
I ran from there leaving a surprised Nithisha back. Clearing Anika's thoughts is the most important one now for me.
But I froze Infront of her slightly open cabin door and I saw Arnav and Anika conversing. The brother and sister conversations up. Something caught my attention the question which Arnav asked Anika.
I didn't expect Arnav to ask that question did Anika tell him? Soon Anika cleared my confusion. Eavesdropping is bad but I am hearing my friend and wife's conversation so never mind. This what I told to console my mind.
"Nithu told you is it?" Anika asked looking at Arnav with a smile playing on her lips.
"That doesn't matter Sunny. Just tell me" he told looking the other side. This boy can never anything to his Sunny till date.
"Bhai?" she asked sternly looking at him.
"Yes! She only told. She was worried about you Sunny. You weren't talking this out with her even after asking a lot "She sighed heavily but will Arnav leave no he wouldn't
"Sunny just tell me what will you do if Diya is back in his life like before?" I really wanted to know her answer.
"I will leave him bhai!" She told shocking me but Arnav wasn't shocked but was surprised.
"Why?" He whispered looking at her.
"Shivaay loves Diya even now. If his happiness is in Diya, I will be glad to leave him for his happiness. For me his happiness matters the most. I love him till the extent to let him go! Bhai." She told with a smile still playing on her lips. How the hell can she smile and she loves me! Really?
"What about you Sunny? You have loved for almost ten years. "Arnav asked shocking the hell out of me. She loved me for 10 years. How did I not know about this?
"Bhai, I loved him but Shivaay never did. If his happiness is with Diya, I won't dare to stop him. He deserves his love of course. If I can love him for 10 years without him reciprocating it, why can't I do it till the end of my breath!" The smile never vanished from her lips. Oh god what did I do her!
"Will you move on and marry again?" Arnav asked her with his heads down vanishing her smile and my heart crumbles hearing Anika marrying. In nano seconds her smile came back
"No. Not now not ever" she told shocking both us.
"When did my small Sunny become this big?" Arnav told with tears. I know she has become very big. ten years. man, ten years. Five years of love I can't handle Diya moving on. But she. god only know how did she handle looking at me with someone else.
"Long ago but my brother didnt have time notice" she told chuckling and even Arnav did.
I moved out without their notice, what was I thinking and what happened. Nikki loved me for ten years and I never knew about it.
I used to know each and everything about her but when did I drift apart this much. Everything is going around my mind in circles, I don't know how to react, what to react.
Standing near the window I was going through the happenings one day messed up everything in my life. Technically I should be with Diya but I can't, I can't leave Nikki. She is my responsibility, my wife, I just can't be selfish now. I didn't know when it became night, I came out only when Rudra came to call me for dinner
"Bhaiya. Bhaiya "he was yelling my name in the room.
"Yes Rudy, why are you shouting now?" I told looking at him irritated and he pouted.
"Bhaiya I just came to call you for dinner" he told looking at me with puppy eyes, this guy can never change.
"Okay! Now stop showing that. Did Anika come?" I didnt see her after leaving her hospital.
"No Bhaiya. She told she will be late a bit, so you come we will have" he told looking at me surprised
"No, it's okay. I will have with her you guys eat" I told denying him. And he looked shocked, why do people get shocked for each and everything I say.
I was pacing in the living room to and for, she didn't return yet and its 10. Om Ru, dad and mom are also waiting for her. When I called her hospital, they told she left 1 hour back and till now she hasn't reached.
I hope she is fine. Her phone is switched off, oh god this girl will kill me in tension one day. What if something happens to her, this thought literally stops my heart from beating. No. no nothing will happen to her.
"I can't wait more; I am going in search of her "I completed my sentence and was going towards the door and madam came in.
She was drenched, sneezing and what not. "Ruddy get the towel" I shouted and ran to her holding her
"Anika. Anika are you fine? What happened? Why are you drenched? Something happened?" I asked in a breath and mom cut me
"Shivaay if you let her speak only, she can speak right" she told giving a teasing glance.
"OH, Shivaay actually my car broke down so I came by walk" she told looking at me. Really, is she mad cant she calls me or hire a taxi or something. How did she even become a doctor?
"You could have called, I would have picked you up" I told looking at her in anger.
"Shivaay it just broke down some meters away, it was near the mansion only" she told looking at me.
I saw her again sleeping in the couch today, she will never listen to me. I actually wanted to talk to her regarding Diya but she slept. Kumbhakar, she sleeps the moment she enters the bed.
Midnight I woke up feeling thirsty and something was not good, I mean I didn't feel good. Seeing the couch, I got shocked, she was shivering. I went near her and checked her temperature; it is burning hot. God! This girl never stays careful. I lifted her up in my arms and placed her on the bed.
Drenched cold cloth was what I did to her from time to time but the temperature didn't go down. She was still having temperature but not shivering thank god. I think I need to call the doctor.
That man was lazy to come this midnight, I lashed at him. Being a doctor can't he understand idiot.
I woke her up, feeding the medicines I laid her down. Till the cold drenched cloth was in process. Taking her hand in my hand, I caressed her hairs. It was silky and smooth; she had a frown on her forehead as soon I caressed her forehead it turned into a calm thin line. How did this happen now?
Closing my eyes became impossible for me now, I can't even sleep a moment seeing her condition. When it took time for her to come, literally my breath chocked.
I couldn't even breath for a moment when a single negative thought came. What is happening to me! Surely, she is the best wife one could have. Still sitting besides, I can see her calm face.
Morning sunlight hit me hard that I woke up with a jerk, only to see a pair of eyes already looking at me. Touching her forehead, I came to know the temperature went low now.
"Thank god! You don't have temperature now." I told in a sigh and she was still looking at me.
"Thanks" she told looking at me and I felt bad. I nodded with a heavy heart.
She was about to leave the room but I stopped her
"Anika listen, I want to talk to you" I told taking a deep breath.
"Yes" she told looking at me in confidence
"Diya is back now and I know what you are feeling. I just wanted to tell; everything is messed up give some time to sort it out." I told looking at her intensely. My hands were already on her shoulders holding it.
"Okay!" She also told.
"And yes, we are still the same and I want us to behave the same way we used before 2 days okay?" I told looking at her with some hope, she wouldn't deny this.
"Of course," she told smiling and clearing everything.
"Don't forget have your medicines ok?" I asked her and she nodded with a smile.
Two days passed and nothing changed. We both were behaving like before but somewhere or the other something wasn't right and I don't know what is it.
Now I want Anika everywhere, I don't know what happened to me suddenly that I want her everywhere around me and for everything its Anika for me.
From morning I wasn't feeling good, o felt as if something is going to happen. God, I hope all is fine. I decided to call Anika and I did to
"Hey!" I told and she was energetic as usual
"hello Mr. Oberoi "I can hear some voices and I guess she is in car.
"you going somewhere?" I asked curiously.
"Yes! Actually, I am free today so thought of going to Trivedi mansion" she told with her usual chirpy voice. "oh ok! When will you retu" I couldn't complete as suddenly I heard her
"Shivaay" screaming my name and boom. It got disconnected, I froze in my place everything was blank. I couldn't process anything only her scream was going in loop.
And to mention my phone slipped down breaking into pieces. I felt my breath knocking me out.
"Sir. Sir what happened "Mishra asked coming inside and I came out listening to his voice.
"Mishra hurry up get me a new phone "I shouted scaring that man, I myself was out of control now. What happened to her.
I snatched the phone from Mishra and dialed her number again, she picked
"Hello. hello Anika are you fine? What happened?" I asked trembling in fear what if I lose her. I can't bear another lose.
"wait. wait the one you are talking has taken to hospital. She met with an accident and I think it's difficult for her to survive" the person killed me in a second.
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Arya☆