Hakim
I watch her close the door in my face. Damn.. that was intense. What on earth is Natasha Jackson doing to me?. Why am I acting the way I am?. So many questions and emotions are swirling inside me ...the biggest one ...Why the hell did I kiss her?
Now that’s a damn good question and maybe I should beat the fuck out of myself for the answer. It’s not just the kiss it's also the fact that my body is reacting to her. Damn…. I remember when it used to be the other way round..Natasha on more than a few occasions had fully made me aware of her feelings towards me..both physically and verbally ..each and every time I would let her down gently..well apart from the on occasion five years ago.
Now after all these years..there is something about her that has me conflicted and the big shocker off them all is her child. A child who for reasons unknown I’m drawn to. There is something about Shalina that is so familiar.. She reminds me so much of Medina and Sarina when they were younger. It’s the eyes and the certain mannerisms she has. They way she eats, the way her mouth curves into a smile and if my suspicions are correct then it's no wonder.
My gut clenches with the possibilities. Damn ...if what I’m thinking is true this could change everything.
I need answers from Natasha and I need them as soon as possible. If she thinks she can just avoid me, she has another thing coming. Too much similarities... Either it’s a bloody coincidence or she’s definitely my child. I’m far from stupid.
But what if she is?. What am I to make of this? What will my parents think of me having a child out of wedlock. To them it's a huge sin and they will be devastated to learn that their darling boy has an illegitimate child.
You see ,My folks are very devoted. Even in this day and age they still follow the old religion. Both folks and my sisters do. Their passion and zest in a higher power is very admirable to some or maybe obsessive to others. It's a matter of opinion and hey if it makes them happy then more power to them.
Growing up, religion was important to us and My folks taught us all they could. From the teachings straight from the holy book to me attending mosque with my dad. I still remember everything but it has never been at the forefront for me. I’ve never had that connection like my parents and sisters…. particualary Medina.
I on the other hand , don't have a religious bone in my body. Even after my upbringing.
If I did, I would never in a million years succumbed to sleeping with Natasha Jackson.
My feelings for Natasha has always been complex. At first she was my sister's best friend. Who used to follow me everywhere. Her eyes so blatantly showing her feelings. The amount of times she tried to seduce me..God they were many..but to me ..she was just a kid with a crush.
Then I left for my studies and when I got back. Damn I was in for a shock. Natasha was no longer a kid anymore. She was now even more beautiful, so sexy..so feisty and strong willed. I thought her feelings would have disappeared with me being away. Boy I was wrong. In fact not only where they stronger but this time by body was reacting to her as well.
Damn..Five years ago but I remember it so clearly. The way she was angry at me for not reciprocating her feelings. She kept saying things that was a direct insult to my masculinity..even going as far as calling me gay. Having enough I showed her that I was very much a man and very much hetrosexual.
Afterwards ..I regretted it and broke her heart with my harsh words. She declared her love for me again but I was such a bastard. I don't know what I was feeling back then. I was disappointed in myself for having sex with her. It may have been love on her part and I knew I was her first. Damn..she was my first..not that I would admit it to her but she knew alright. The fact that my sisters shared everything with her , how could she not.
However, I have never forgotten that day. I don't know why but I remember everything ...her scent , her moans, her response and the need. Damn..my gut clenches at the memories and I need to stop right now.
I have a girlfriend. That's why I've come down from London, I need to talk to my parents . I’m thinking of finally settling down. I’ve come here to seek my parents approval. I doubt they will be overjoyed in the fact that I’m marrying a non believer as they’ll call it but I think they will have to finally accept the fact that I'm not the traditional pashtun man they have raised. I’m not fond of arranged marriages and they know that. Somehow they knew I would marry someone of my own choice but they would have preferred her to be a muslim.
Damn..things have gotten complicated. Not only has Natasha barged back into my life but there's a possibility I may be a father. What the hell am I going to do? I need to speak to that infuriating woman as soon as I can.
I need to get to the bottom of things and fast ...as In a couple of days I will be going back to London where Nina is eagerly waiting for my parents reply. The fact that her parents have given us their blessing puts added pressure on me as the ball is in my court so to speak.
Damn..complications are not what I need right now.
**********
It’s midnight and Natasha Jackson has been avoiding me at all costs. My earlier conversations with my folks have kept me awake. It’s the look of disappointment when I told them that I’m getting engaged to Nina. Being their only son they would have liked a typical pakistani woman for me.
Eventually after asking me whether I Was really serious about the woman in question they gave me their blessings..providing that Nina comes to visit them so they can see for themselves what's she’s like. I agreed and soon after I phoned Nina to tell her all about it. She was reluctant at first, dreading the fact that she would not live up to my parents expectations ..however after a lot of persuasion she finally agreed.
With that over I need to speak to Natasha. I don't know why the hell I feel the need for her to reveal the paternity of Shalina but if she is my child then I need to step up. Regardless of how my parents will feel ...but I have hope as they really adore Shalina. It’s Natasha Jackson that is the biggest complication I need to face.
Sighing I make my way downstairs for a drink of water. I enter the kitchen and stop in my tracks when I see Natasha sitting at the table. She has headphones on as she is eating the leftover cake Mamma has made. she has her eyes closed as she takes a spoonful of cake into her mouth and something stirs in me ..again.
Fuck!!!
What the hell is she doing to me?
She looks so beautiful. Her curly hair is loose around her shoulders and although she’s wearing a very modest nightgown.. it hugs her delicious curves. Damn ..those curves have become more sexy over the years. Being a mother has changed her body even more for the better and it suits her.
Suddenly she opens her eyes and stops abruptly. She takes off her headphones and glares at me. Licking the chocolate from her lips and brushing away the crumbs.
Bloody hell..my eyes are drawn to those full lips.
“Dr Hakim.” she makes to get up but I quickly pull a chair to sit.. grabbing her wrist.
“What the hell are you doing”?. She tries to grab her hand put I tighten my grip further.
She flinches but I don't care as this is a perfect opportunity for me to ask her a few questions.
“Natasha..I know you have been avoiding me..unless you have something to hide, I suggest you stay put and answer my questions”. I tell her calmly.
“Dr Hakim..like I told you last time I don't owe you shit..so let go of me this instance or I’ll swear I get physical with you.”. She spits at me furiously...still struggling.
I tighten my grip more and she gasps. Fuck ..that stirring sensation increases and I look to see he eyes have darkened probably mirroring mines.
“Is it me Natasha or are you enjoying this”? Again I gripped a little harder and fuck does she struggle and again she gasps but her eyes betray her feelings.
“Well..Well..Natasha Jackson.. Everytime you surprise me.” I quickly let go off her and she immediately starts to rub her wrist.
She bites down on her luscious lips and my gaze follows her movements. She looks at me with such anger and lust that I’m mesmerised so I don't see her hand that comes up and connect with my cheek.
“Fuck you..You dispicable, arrogant bastard.!!” She gets up and clears her dishes away from the table. Refusing eye contact again.
“That is you third slap Natasha..Why do you feel the need to be so physical with me?. I remember a time when you would throw yourself at me..although this new attitude yours is very much to my liking and if I wasn’t soon to be engaged... I would definitely have pursued this thing between us further.” I smirk at her as she whips around.
“You’re soon to be engaged ..yet you find ways to provoke and touch me..well I pity the woman who is going to end up with you..she must be pathetically demure” She then makes to walk out but I shoot out of my chair and grab her pinning her against the wall.
“Watch it Natasha. Didn't I warn you last time about that pretty mouth of yours landing you in trouble. Now tell me what I want to know..Is Shalina my child?”. Our mouths are inches away from each other and I can smell the coconut shampoo she uses on her hair. Fuck that smell is so familier.
She stills and I sense it. She looks at me and I see defiance but also something else..maybe a little fear. Why? Unless I’m right in my prediction.
“Sorry to disappoint you Dr Hakim. Shalina is not your daughter. So you don't have to worry your arrogant little head off” . She spits out and tries to push me off her.
“Well who’s the father? If you don't mind me asking... as from my calculations she can only me mines.” I grit out and refuse to listen to my body reacting so close to her sinfully pleasurable one.
“That’s none of your damn business!. You are not the father... that’s all you need to know. Now let me go?. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are betraying her. Her body is heaving and it’s causing me to react but I continue to hold on refusing to give in to the need.
“I want a DNA test. Just to be sure.”
Again a slight hesitation from her. This time the fear in her eyes is real.
“Well let's put it this way DR Hakim. After you fucked me...cos let’s face it ....it was just fucking on your part...and after you broke my heart I wanted to be rid of your scent ..your touch..you inside of me..so I slept with someone not long after...more than just once.” Her words are like a bullet through my heart.
Why? Why the hell am I not liking her words? What the fuck?
I quickly let go her as if burnt. The satisfaction in her eyes is a huge bruise to my ego. She smirks at me and I feel something stir in me. It’s her smug look of upmanship.
Without thinking I grab her and crash my lips against hers. She struggles pounding at my chest but I continue with my onslaught. I suck on her lower lip and she gasps then I push my tongue in her mouth and with one hand gripping her hair tight and the other circling her waist I push her against the wall and devour her mouth. I continue until I feel her responding as she grabs at her my hair.
When she fully responds to my touch and kisses I then push her away harshly from me.
It's my turn to smirk now as I look at her lovely flushed face and swollen lips.
“Well that was interesting... they say actions speak louder than words. I hoped your enjoyed that as much as I did, for it will be the last time Natasha Jackson!”. She stares at my amused face still breathing heavily.
“You better make damn sure that it is Dr Hakim.!! If you ever touch me again I swear I won't be held accountable for my actions.” She then rushes out.
Fuck..That wasn’t supposed to happen! What on earth possessed me to kiss her again? Why am I finding it extremely difficult to stay away from her? The fact that she insulted me earlier when she mentioned another man was supposed to deter me.. hate her even..No in fact it caused the opposite effect.
What is that damn woman doing to me?
Well at least I’ve got the answer to my question. Little Shalina is not mine. Maybe it was wishful thinking after all. Maybe it's for the best .Now I don't have to worry about my folks reputation and I can carry on with my engagement to Nina without complications.
So why do I feel like I’m missing something? Why am I slightly disappointed?
Damn..I need to go back to london. I need Nina to hold me in her arms and help me forget bloody Natasha and my pull towards her. I need to leave tomorrow. Maybe early in the morning for I know that as long as Natasha Jackson is here she will be temptation . I certainly don't need that when I’m going to be engaged to another woman soon.
Why the hell did Natasha Jackson have to some back into my life? Why am I finding my body fighting against me when she’s close by? Why am I seeing her in a different light when she absolutely hates my guts.? Sure she responded to the kiss, but that could mean many things.
Damn it all to hell!!.
Making my way upstairs to my room I stood at my door and glanced at Sarina’s room where Natasha lays with her daughter. Is she awake? Is she thinking about the kiss we shared? Is she feeling something to?
Sighing I opened the door and quietley close it behind me.
First thing tomorrow I’ll be up and ready to head back. The sooner the better. Settling in bed I close my eyes ,happy with my decision.
Little did I know that fate had other things in store for me.
Salam and hey guys.
The amount of times I had to edit and re-edit this bloody chapter.
I'm really struggling to continue with this story so bare with me plzzzz.
Anyhow comments and thoughts are very much appreaciated.
Voting doesn't hurt either...yep sly me..;)
Enjoy.
Love u all...I really do ...your support means a lot.
Shazk80 xxxxx