-Ava's POV-
I tap my fingers on the countertop anxiously, glancing out the window every few seconds.
Harry should be home any minute, and even though I've had all day to think about it, I still have no idea what to say to him.
When El showed up this morning I was still sitting in the chair in Harry's office, staring at the answering machine. I'd played the message over again and again, each time hoping I somehow imagined it all. But I hadn't.
My father had called Harry. And about what? Terms of some deal they had made.
The second I heard that word my whole past came crashing down on me, thoughts of Scott and the deal he had made with my parents making me physically sick.
It's not like that. Harry's not like that.
I've said those two sentences to myself hundreds of times today. If I hadn't, I know my mind alone would've single handedly destroyed our relationship. And I would be already be halfway home by now, broken-hearted and alone.
I run my hands through my hair, my eyes landing on the few bags full of clothes I bought today. I don't even know what's in them. I mindlessly picked up random items every time El asked if I was okay, giving her a smile and a few words so she wouldn't push the conversation any further.
But I am far from okay. I'm confused and scared and angry.
My head snaps up when I hear the front door open, my heart instantly racing.
Harry's eyes meet mine the second he enters the room, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Your bags... They're by the door." He states, his eyes scanning over my face.
I nod.
"You leaving?"
"I'm not sure yet."
"What happened Ava? We were good this morning. Great yeah?" His voice is worried as he moves to stand across the bar from me.
"Yeah we were."
"I called... I tried to call you."
"I know." My voice is devoid of any kind of emotion.
Harry's eyes search mine, glancing back and forth between them quickly, "I don't understand love."
The look on his face about kills me. I hate to see him upset or sad or worried.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I finally ask.
"What? Dunno... I.... No."
"We agreed we would be honest with one another right? No lying and no hiding things from each other remember?" I hear my voice crack, my emotions beginning to show through.
"Ava, I'm not... I don't..."
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I repeat myself, cutting him off mid-sentence.
He hesitates, rubbing his bottom lip between his fingers. My heart is begging him to confess, to just tell me the truth so I know I made the right choice in staying.
"No."
The weight I feel hit my chest at his lie is suffocating.
"Please don't lie Harry. Please."
I feel the first tear slide down my cheek, and Harry is standing in front of me within seconds, holding my face in his hands.
"Avvvv. Not lying. I love you."
I shake my head at him and pull his hands off my face before walking out of the room.
He follows me like I knew he would, all the way into his office.
I stop at his desk and hit the play button on his answering machine as he watches my every move.
"Styles. I need you to call me back today. I see the situation has changed and you know that means our terms will have to change as well. I'm not playing games here. You call me back today or I'm going to be forced to..... Hello? Is someone there?"
"Dad?"
I don't look up until the message is over, asking if I wish to delete it.
Harry's face is pale, his previously rosy cheeks being drained of all their color. His look of confusion has been completely replaced with panic as he stands frozen, just watching me.
"Please tell me what is going on. The truth." I say quietly.
He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes red as he looks at me. "I'm.... Well, I.. I've been giving them a bit of money."
"What?" I feel as if all the air has been sucked out of my lungs, "Why?"
"So they would leave you be."
"What? Harry, no." I shake my head, not wanting to believe this.
"I know. I know it's fucked up." He sighs, stepping towards me, "But I wanted to make sure you were alright. And then, after everything, since I couldn't be with you.."
"Couldn't be with me?" I cut him off, "How long has this been going on?"
"Shit." He tries to grab my hands, but I pull them away from him, "I didn't want you to find out this way. Was going to tell you.... Swear I was. Just waiting for the proper time."
"Tell me now. How long?"
"Two weeks....after I followed you to New York."
"Oh my god Harry! That's been over a year! You've been paying them money for over a year!?" I raise my voice. I should of known something was up. My father was so adamant he was going to make me pay for inheriting all of my grandmothers money, yet I'd never heard from them.
"Ava, please understand. You'd already been through so much, I didn't want them to bother you. To make things hard on you."
"That wasn't your decision to make."
"I wanted to take care of you." He says with a shaky voice.
"But we weren't even together."
"I'm in love with you." He shrugs, "And you not being with me was even more reason to keep them away."
"How much?"
"Please don't ask me that." He sighs, looking down at his feet.
"How much?"
"Av... I would do anything for you. Money doesn't matter."
"Harry, how much?"
His eyes meet mine, "Twenty."
"Once?" I question, already dreading the answer.
"A month."
"A month!? Twenty thousand a month?" I feel sick.
"Yeah. It's nothing love, really it isn't." His eyes plead mine to just let this go, but there's no way I can do that.
"How much altogether?"
"Maybe three...four hundred thousand." He exhales deeply, "And a flat in New York."
"Oh my god." I cover my face with my hands, not believing what I'm hearing. "I'm paying you back. All of it."
"No." Harry pulls my hands off my face. "Won't take it."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" My shock is quickly replaced by anger, it shooting through my body like fire. "You will take it, and this is going to stop. Now."
"If it stops they'll make your life a living hell. Won't let that happen."
"Do you even realize how fucked up this is?" I feel tears sting my eyes as I push him off me.
"Ava, please..."
"You really think I can just pretend this never happened and just let it keep going on? He wants more money now. You know that's what he's calling about. You expect me to just sit by and let this keep happening?"
"No." He frowns after I push him away a second time.
"I'm paying you back and you're calling him and ending it." I demand, picking up the phone. "Right now."
"Fuck Ava. I... I can't." His voice is desperate but firm.
"If I don't make this right, this..." I motion between us, "...I can't stay. I can't... Please Harry. Please."
"Av..."
"Don't let him ruin this Harry. That's exactly what he wants. You think this is helping but you're just giving him the power. I know how he is."
"If something happened to you, I couldn't bear it."
"Nothing will. He can't get to me himself so he is just using you. You have to stop this. I'll be fine, we'll be fine." I ramble off, willing to say anything I need to so this will stop.
He sucks in a deep breath at my words, "We'll be fine? You're... You're not leaving me?"
"Harry.." His hands find my face, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his thumb. "I don't want to leave. I want this. Us. I do sort of understand why you did it. It doesn't make it right, at all. But If I'm honest with myself, I would probably do the same. But we have to fix this, you have to fix this."
"I really don't bloody deserve you." He glances between my eyes, waging an inner battle with himself. "Fuck. Okay. Yeah... Alright."
I let out a sigh of relief and hold up the phone, "Thank you. Now call him then call your bank and find out exactly how much you've transferred into his account."
"Av, I don't give a shite about the money." He states, taking the phone from me.
"Well I do." I reply, heading towards the door. I have no desire to take the chance of hearing my fathers voice again.
"I'm sorry." Harry calls after me, "I shouldn't have lied. I just... I really am quite the proper muck up. I do love you though. Very much. You know that yeah?"
"Yeah." I nod, my heart still hurting over his dishonestly. "I know."
He gives me a small closed mouth smile before I walk out and shut the door behind me.
I grab my bags and carry them back upstairs before I lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower.
I take a seat at the edge of the tub, drop my head into my hands, and let go of the small amount of control I had over my emotions.
Tears run down my face, dropping into the bath mat underneath me.
I'm so hurt that Harry lied to me again.
I'm so angry at my father for taking advantage of him.
I'm so upset that Harry has to deal with my complicated mess of a life.
I'm so scared of what my father will do next.
I'm so disappointed in myself that I still can't seem to handle my own problems.
And I'm so, so in love with Harry for wanting to solve them for me.
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