"Knocking me down is the easy part
If you wanna keep me there,
Then your going to need back up."
Khristian DeJesus
2 weeks later*
My ankle is finally healed, Jayonna and I have been going on runs each morning and she always tells me not to over do it because I might hurt myself again. Everytime we leave the house Chazz leaves with us, when we're on our runs he follows us in his car. Gerard told us that when were out running we can't run to far from the house.
I don't think Jayonna realizes exactly who the Castillo's are and what they do. All she knows is that, there just rich people that you don't wanna cross. I don't know if I want to open up her eyes to who they really are or if I wanna let her stay blind.
I've been thinking about my father lately and the man that killed him. I don't know if that man is dead or if he's behind bars, but I need to know. I doubt my father got justice though and I doubt he's dead. I've heard that my father wasn't an easy target, you would have to be skilled to be able to take out my dad. Obviously that man was just that, so I highly doubt he's dead.
I took my waffles out the waffle maker and sat my plate down at the table. I made myself some blue berry waffles, sausages and grits. These pass two weeks, I've been waking up letting Jayonna know that I'm going downstairs. She says it's okay but I always have to ask her if she's sure and she says yeah.
She's gotten close with Nikki and I'm happy for her, she finally has a true friend besides myself. I still do observe Nikki when she hangs with Jayonna. I know Nikki isn't fake or anything because I know Gerard ain't raise her like that. But watching who Jayonna hangs out with is sort of a habit for me.
I haven't really been getting closer with anyone here. I play the ps4 with Kevin sometimes but I don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to me, we just play in silence. I can feel that it's awkward for him and sometimes I can feel his eyes on me. I think he expected me to cling to him because I haven't seen him in 13 years, well he's wrong.
Ever since my talk with Noah in the kitchen that day, we haven't really spoken to each other. I just ignore his presences and he ignores minds, I don't really care though.
Tyrek is well Tyrek, he keeps to himself sometimes and he always seems to be in thought or talking with his father about business. He's does speak to me and Jayonna though, he's been watching Jayonna a lot. I'm not bothered by it because I know he's probably trying to see if he can trust her or not, or was his father wrong for letting her stay here.
If I'm being honest, all of them watches Jayonna like a hawk. Especially when she's hanging with Nikki. I see that Nikki is the heart of there family and in somewhat I was jealous of the girl. She's what I could have been if Gerard would have found me. He would have treated me like his own daughter and despite all the differences between me and the boys they would have treated me like there sister.
I stopped being jealous when I seen how over protective they are of her. The girl can barely be on the phone in peice without one of them following her around listening in on her conversations.
I laughed when Tyrek made her put the phone on speaker when she was talking to this one little boy. The boy called her sweetie and Tyrek and them went off. Kevin deleted the number and they forced the boys government name out of Nikki. Jayonna and I was sitting on the couch dying, it was hilarious.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard multiple footsteps coming down the stairs. I grabbed a bottle of my apple juice out the fridge and walked over to the table just as the Castillo's brothers and there dad walked into the kitchen.
Gerard was the only one that seemed to own a shirt in this entire house. The brothers are always walking around hear shirtless. I don't mind because I honestly like looking at there tattoos they have on there body.
They each have there mothers name tattooed on there body. Tyrek has my father's name tattooed across his back along with a gun and written on the gun is the day my father was born and the day that he died. Kevin has my name tattooed on his chest below his heart along side his mothers name. Noah to my surprise has KD with a rose tattooed on his shoulder, the font that he used for my letters were really beautiful.
In silence the four men moved around the kitchen gathering the tools they need to make there breakfast. Perfect time to bring it up.
"I want to learn how to kill."
They all froze and three of the men turned the heads to me and Kevin just stood there with the bacon in his hand, looking at the ground. Noah looked nonchalant, Gerard also looked nonchalant but if you pay close attention you could see that he's in deep thought and Tyrek was just staring at me observing me.
The kitchen door opened and Nikki walked in with a smile.
"Leave." Noah told Nikki and her smile fell as she backed up out the kitchen. It was another brief moment of silence until Kevin spoke up.
"No." He said and opened the pack of bacon angrily.
"Your not my father." I told him and looked at him. His eyes met mine and I turned my gaze to Gerard and he was just staring at me.
"You changed, you changed a fucking lot." Tyrek said catching my attention and I just shrugged.
"When you witness your father's death from underneath his bed, you wouldn't be the same either." I said and Gerard seemed to snap out of whatever trans he was in.
"You saw it?" Gerard asked and I nodded.
Kevin sat the bacon down on the counter and walked over to the table. He sat down next to me and Noah and Tyrek followed his actions. Noah sat on the other side of me and Tyrek sat across from Noah. I looked at Gerard and he looked stuck.
I knew that the boys wanted me to tell them exactly what happened but with Gerard, I didn't know. My dad was his bestfriend, his brother, when I seen my dad I would see Gerard. They were always together, even when they weren't doing business. He would just come around to hang with my dad and me. I know this hard for him and I'm not gonna make him listen if he doesn't want too.
He walked over to the table and sat down in front of me. I stared at the flowers in the middle of the table as I relived the day my dad died.
I started off with my dad running into my room, to get me. I was sitting down playing with my dolls and my doll house. I loved the doll house so much and it was one specific barbie I would always play with. The black one with the curly afro and the soul train outfit. I never put that doll down, her name was Stella.
"My father ran into my room and at first I thought he was just going to chase me but he didn't. He picked me up just as I heard gunshots downstairs but at the age of 4....I didn't know what gunshots were. As he ran me into his room he kept telling me how much he loved me...... how I will always be his pride and joy. He told me how everyday he did what he had to do for me and I was always his number one priority no matter what.....then there were more gunshots. By that time we were already in his room, he put me down and then he grabbed a gun from the nightstand by his bed...he told me that we were going to play hide and seek....I would hide and he would find me."
I told them how my dad told me to never come out my hiding spot unless he found me and then there were more gunshots and then I heard people coming up the stairs and someone started barking orders left and right.
"I heard find him, but don't kill him, leave that to me. That's what the man said and at that age I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I just listened to my dad and he pushed me under the bed and told me to cover my mouth."
I covered my mouth and held onto Stella smiling because in my 4 year old head, I thought we really playing a game of hide and seek.
"I heard my dad counting down and that confused me because in hide and seek you count up, not down." I said and chuckled a little.
My eyes were burning and I knew I was seconds away from crying. I didn't care though, I can't fight these tears and I won't, it they wanna fall I'll let them.
"It was another gun shot and it was really loud so I screamed and my dad heard me, his last words to me was "you have to be quiet babygirl, absolutely quiet or you'll make it easier for me to find you." But in reality it was be quiet or they would find you." I quickly wiped the tears that I felt running down my face.
I felt a hand being placed on my shoudler and I quickly brushed Kevin's hand off and shook my head.
"I'm fine." I said and glanced up at him, his eyes were watery but he didn't let any tears fall. I gathered myself together before finishing my story.
I told them how the door to my fathers bed room swung open and two gun shots fired within in the room. The man who had opened the door was lying on the ground with blood oozing from his body, my dad had killed him.
"My dad killed three people after the third the clip was empty.....from under the bed I seen two men enter the room. One looked nonchalant about the whole thing and the other...he had this devilish grin on his face and I saw the gun in his hand. The one who didn't give a damn about the whole thing leaned up against the wall and the other walked closer to the bed.....my dad was standing on one side and he was on the other."
They exchanged words and I didn't know what was really going on so I just stayed under the bed and stayed quiet. Holding onto Stella for dear life.
"He told my dad that he ran shit long enough and it's time for someone else to take over. My dad last words to that man was 'I knew you was a snake but some part of me wanted to believe you wasn't. I thought you was my friend.'.....and then there was a gun shot and something heavy dropped on the floor......I turned my head and seen my dad lying there with a hole straight through his head...I watched as the life drained from my fathers eyes and the blood stained the carpets. Then he was gone. I wanted to call out to my dad but the men we're still in the room....I turned my head the other way and watched as the man who didn't kill my dad walked out the room and then my dads murder did."
I waited there until the police came and found me hiding under the bed. I had to stare at my dad's lifeless body for 30 minutes not knowing what the hell just happened. I looked up at Gerard and met his eyes.
"Where were you?" I gritted through clench teeth.
I know he didnt kill my dad but where was he? My dad needed him, I needed him and he wasn't there. I was so angry and hurt because he wasn't there, he didn't have my dads back when my dad needed him too....but I had to realize that Gerard had his own family he had to attend to, so I couldn't keep blaming him for my dads death.
"Khristian my-" Tyrek started but I cut him off.
"I blamed you for so long, my dad needed you and you didn't have his back. You said you always would, you said you'll always be there for me, for my dad but you weren't. I wanted to hate you and I wanted it to be you...instead of my father lying there dead."
Tears fell from Gerard's eyes and he didn't even wipe them he just let them fall.
"But I could only blame you for so long right? You weren't the man who killed my dad and then you had your own family to look after....I knew you didn't have a clue what was going on that night and I knew you would have had my dads back. So I stopped blaming you and just blamed the man that killed him.....The man that pulled the trigger, the man that raided my home with his men, he didn't just kill my dad he killed my dads friends, every guard that was posted around the house he killed them.....he took the most important person away from me and he laughed about it. I want him dead and I want it done by my hands and my hands only."
I got up from the table and left the kitchen without another word. I meant what I said, I want to kill that man and I'm going to whether they want to help me or not.
I ran up the stairs and ran down the hall to my room. I walked into the room and slammed the door shut behind me. I turned around just in time to see Jayonna jump up off the bed. The tears started pouring from my eyes and I couldn't stop crying.
Jayonna ran over to me as I leaned on the door and slid down to the ground. I cried, and I cried hard.
"I just want my dad." I cried as she wrapped her arms around me.
I just want it to stop, the pain, the sadness, the torture. I just want my dad, I want him here with me, I need him, I need him more than ever.
"I want my dad!" I cried harder and Jayonna started whispering that everything was going to be okay, she's here for me.
I miss him so much and I'll never be at peace unless he's here with me. I don't want to be here without him. It feels like I can't continue without him. It feels like I'm breaking, my heart is shattering, my world is crumbling, I just want my dad.
"Just bring him back....please." I cried over and over again melted into Jayonna.
Why? Why did this have to happen to me? Why did he have to take my dad? Why did he have to take him away from me? It's not fair....it's just not fair.
My emotional ass cried writing this chapter😥💔 It felt like my damn heart was breaking😫.
How do you feel about Khristian blaming Gerard? (She stopped blaming him but I want y'all thoughts.)
Also my quotes at the type have nothing do this with the chapters, I just like writing quotes❤.
Sorry for any mistakes and any confusion let me know.
Christian DeJesus💚
Khristian's dad🧡
Deceased in my story but I still wanted to show y'all who I pictured as her dad💚🧡.