Even after all of the years that they've known each other, even after all of the years that they've been together, Kihyun still finds it so hard to believe sometimes, the duality of Hoseok.
It's still amazing to him how in one moment, Hoseok can be the intense, passionate performer with the fiery gaze, the muscular dreamboat covered in sweat and radiating ferocity and charisma, and in the next, he becomes the big, dumb, cuddly bunny currently wrapped around Kihyun like the fluffiest, warmest of blankets, nothing more than the world's biggest and softest marshmallow.
They're on a schedule abroad, and Kihyun had been sitting alone in his hotel room, innocently reviewing the pictures on his camera that he had taken earlier that day, pictures that he had taken of Hoseok, his favorite person, the muse who best brings out Kihyun's creativity and artistic vision. Kihyun has gotten a lot braver about sharing his photos of Hoseok, too, but that's not something that he's really ready to think about just yet, what it means, the way that he's secretly proud to show off Hoseok's insane, unbelievable beauty to the world, and to show off that it's all for him and only for him to truly enjoy.
Hoseok had certainly enjoyed their little photoshoot today immensely, and as always, he had asked Kihyun to select a few of the best shots to post for their fans, and Kihyun had set about the task with full seriousness, had been spending nearly an hour now flipping through the dozens and dozens of gorgeous shots, gorgeous not so much because of Kihyun's own skills (though he does think that he's getting a lot better at this whole artistic photographer thing) but because of the subject himself, the subject who had, shortly after they had arrived back from their schedules, snuck over to Kihyun's room even though they were all supposed to be sleeping separately.
And now, they're both sitting around in the comfort of just t-shirts and underwear, the makeup and the pressure and the anxiety, the masks that they all wear to hide themselves all washed away, and Hoseok's got his dopey face buried in Kihyun's neck, though he's not even doing anything exciting, just breathing in Kihyun's scent and nosing at the sensitive skin beneath Kihyun's ear, his breath tickling Kihyun and making Kihyun squirm, making him blush, Kihyun growing increasingly frustrated as Hoseok laughs quietly, until Kihyun turns and pushes Hoseok away, unable to hide his own smile and the affectionate shine to his eyes.
Hoseok doesn't say anything after that, just keeps watching Kihyun with this look in his eyes, this look that he gets sometimes, a look reserved only for Kihyun, a look made for Kihyun, a look full to the brim with any number of mushy, cringey, lovey-dovey things that Kihyun can't bring himself to think about, can't bring himself to fully detangle. It's hard to accept it sometimes, the intensity of the way that Hoseok looks at him, the way that it feels like Hoseok is making love to him with his eyes, and that thought alone makes Kihyun's heart race, makes him feel so embarrassed that he thinks he could die right here, right now from the heat of it.
And Kihyun is really trying so, so hard to focus on what he's doing, to focus only on his camera, but he can feel Hoseok's eyes still on him, and that look, and it's only making Kihyun blush harder, making him feel like he's touched a live wire, his skin feeling hot and electric, yearning with a need to be touched, to be close to the very same one who's watching him so intensely and making him feel this way.
Hoseok waits a few moments, a few long, tense moments in which Kihyun is entirely aware of Hoseok still staring at him and not paying attention at all to the pictures that he's swiping through on his camera, Hoseok's gaze like something physical that he can feel touching him, Kihyun hypersensitive to every tiny move that Hoseok makes as he adjusts on the bed, moving back in closer to Kihyun and wrapping his strong arms around Kihyun's tiny waist, pulling Kihyun in close at his side, resting his face on Kihyun's shoulder and going right back in to nuzzle Kihyun's neck, this time complete with fluttery, feathery kisses that are so soft, so gentle that they make Kihyun feel an intense rush of emotions, make Kihyun feel like he wants to cry because it's such a loving gesture, and Kihyun shivers, dropping his camera onto the bed and turning to face Hoseok, planting his hands on Hoseok's firm chest and pushing him back so that they can finally look into each other's eyes.
"Hyung," Kihyun says, though there's no true intention behind it at all, and it comes out weak and needy, not a warning to push Hoseok away but a call for Hoseok to come closer, and Hoseok understands it completely, without missing a beat. That's just how they are, always able to understand each other no matter what, always able to understand the truth behind the other's words, behind the other's walls, walls that they can each effortlessly bring crumbling down in an instant.
Kihyun's fingers curl on Hoseok's chest as they stare deep into each other's eyes, as Hoseok tilts his head slightly and leans in close, both of their eyes slipped closed, Hoseok stopping just an inch away from Kihyun's lips and staying still, teasing, and Kihyun whines softly, like a kitten, because he can feel the pull between them in that tiny, tiny space between their lips, and it's intense and overwhelming, and he grips onto the fabric of Hoseok's shirt, and he can't help but to think in those long moments, that here it is again, this duality to Hoseok, an annoying, clingy cuddle monster in one moment, and then this in the next.
Kihyun supposes that this is why he's so crazy about Hoseok, and it's why the two of them are so good together, so perfect together, because just as Hoseok does, Kihyun has a duality to him too, one that only comes out in moments like this, one that only comes out and shows itself, shows the truth for Hoseok, because if there's one thing that defines Kihyun's outward personality, the face that he shows to the world, it's that he's always guarded, always aware of how he is being perceived by everyone around him. That's just what happens when you've got your life in the spotlight, when you've got all of these expectations to live up to, when you've got an image, however impossible to maintain or to even achieve in the first place.
And Kihyun is nothing if not diligent, if not dedicated, to his career, to his fans, to everything that they've all worked so hard for, and so Kihyun is always careful to present himself a certain way, to think carefully through everything that he does and everything that he says. And what makes being with Hoseok so special, so important, is that when he's with Hoseok, when they're alone together like this, Kihyun is untethered, unburdened, at peace with himself and with being himself. When he's with Hoseok, Kihyun is free to be...free.
Kihyun is free to open himself up, is free to let Hoseok in (in every sense of the word), and is free to let go, of everything that's always holding him back, of everything that's always holding him down, of his fears, his insecurities, his doubts, his regrets. With Hoseok, he's free to open up and to accept the tenderness, the affection, to accept what's given to him so generously, like how when their lips finally meet, he's free to open his mouth against Hoseok's, free to let Hoseok turn to him and cup Kihyun's cheeks in his warm hands and pull Kihyun in closer as he slides his tongue into Kihyun's mouth, free to wrap his arms around Hoseok's thick torso and to slide his hands up Hoseok's strong, muscular back as they melt together instantly, effortlessly, like two puzzle pieces clicking perfectly into place.
They only kiss for a moment or two, slow and sweet, before Hoseok pulls away, and neither of them open their eyes, and the room has gone so completely quiet around them, hushed in silence like they're under a thick blanket, and all that they can hear is each other's breathing, and for Kihyun, his own heart pounding hard in his ears. Kihyun is amazed as always by Hoseok, how Hoseok does this, how Hoseok's beautiful, caring soul comes out this way, how it manifests in Hoseok as the most generous, most giving lover, and Kihyun is frozen in place, trembling as Hoseok kisses him again, soft, closed-mouthed, just a light press of his lips, once, twice, before he kisses Kihyun cheek in another soft, sweet kiss, light as air and somehow the most intense of all, and Kihyun moans from it, digging his fingers into Hoseok's back when Hoseok brushes his lips over that same sensitive spot beneath Kihyun's ear.
"I want to take pictures of you," Hoseok murmurs, kissing Kihyun's neck, hot and wet and slow, making Kihyun's toes curl and his skin rise in goosebumps. "Not posed or staged, where you're trying so hard, but like this. Just like this."
Hoseok turns his face again and they both open their eyes to look at each other up close, and Hoseok smiles, nuzzling his cheek against Kihyun's as his hands start to wander down Kihyun's body, down Kihyun's chest, down Kihyun's stomach, over the lines of Kihyun's hips, finally stopping at Kihyun's bare thighs, squeezing them, and Kihyun is growing increasingly frustrated at the slow pace of things, at the games, games that he invented, and so he unwinds himself from Hoseok and pushes hard at Hoseok's chest, Hoseok taking the hint and moving to sit back against the pillows propped up at the headboard while Kihyun crawls into Hoseok's lap, straddling Hoseok's thighs and seating himself right on top of Hoseok's pelvis, feeling a distinct flush of victory when he hears Hoseok moan from deep in his chest, Kihyun loosely draping his arms around Hoseok's shoulders, Kihyun tilting his head and batting his eyes flirtatiously.
"I wish I could take a picture of you like this too," Kihyun murmurs, his eyes narrowing as they get comfortable in their new position, Hoseok's arms finding their way around Kihyun's waist, his hands resting low on Kihyun's back. "I wish I could film it. Could film us."
"You're wild, and delusional," Hoseok murmurs, chuckling low and sultry, his hands slipping past the waistband of Kihyun's underwear, pulling Kihyun closer as they move down to cup Kihyun's bare ass cheeks. Hoseok squeezes hard, and Kihyun lets out a filthy moan. "Like a camera could ever capture you, the real you."
"That's right," Kihyun says, his voice low and breathy as Hoseok squeezes his ass over and over again, Kihyun keening over, leaning into Hoseok's body, his hands coming back to rest on Hoseok's chest as Hoseok pulls him in even closer by his ass. "Only you can do it. Capture me."
Kihyun is starting to feel overwhelmed by heat that feels like it's burning him up from the inside out, and he buries his face in Hoseok's neck, breathing in Hoseok's aftershave as Hoseok starts using his grip on Kihyun's ass to rub Kihyun's clothed entrance over his own clothed cock, hard and wet and so, so good, and Kihyun begins to whimper, starts to make the most embarrassing noises that only Hoseok is allowed to hear, Kihyun's face and neck and throat, probably his chest too flushing, and he can't keep his eyes open anymore as Hoseok keeps squeezing and rolling him forward. It's just too much, too intense, too close to the edge, too close to Kihyun's limit until suddenly, Hoseok stops, one hand slipping quickly out of Kihyun's underwear while the other keeps holding him steady.
Kihyun whines loudly in protest, his eyes fluttering open and his eyebrows furrowing in frustration as he pushes himself up, hands flat on Hoseok's chest, but it's then that Hoseok brings his free hand up to Kihyun's face, strokes his cheek like Kihyun is made of glass, and Kihyun understands, his eyes going half-lidded as Hoseok runs his fingers over Kihyun's full, pouty lips, staring deep into Kihyun's eyes, passionate, penetrating.
Kihyun doesn't look away even as his eyes flutter and flutter, heavy with lust, his face flushing deep as Hoseok slides two fingers past Kihyun's lips, pushing in slowly, pushing them as deep as they can go, Kihyun gripping tight to Hoseok's shirt as he licks along the underside, along the pads of Hoseok's fingers and then starts to suck at the same time that he feels Hoseok's cock throbbing hot right beneath his ass.
And Kihyun sucks and sucks, slow and sensual and wet, and Hoseok slowly pulls his fingers out and then pushes them back in, still gripping hard to Kihyun's bare ass with his other hand, still the only thing holding Kihyun together when he's so close to completely falling apart, and Hoseok adds a third finger, the two of them caught in a kind of trance together, and more than anything, Kihyun wishes that he could capture this moment, could capture the look in Hoseok's eyes. But Hoseok is right, no camera could truly capture it, could truly capture them, could capture the way that Hoseok looks at him when they're together like this, with nobody else watching, with nobody else in the entire world but the two of them.
And now, Kihyun can feel Hoseok's heart pounding hard in his chest beneath his fingertips, can feel it as Hoseok's blood rushes hot through his veins, can see the deep, deep flush, even deeper than his own spread across Hoseok's cheeks, so deep that Kihyun can feel its heat, Hoseok's eyes simmering as he slowly removes his fingers from Kihyun's mouth, a string of spit connecting his fingertips to Kihyun's wet lips, Hoseok's hand, his soaked fingers slipping back past Kihyun's underwear to Kihyun's ass as he pulls Kihyun back in close all in one motion, Kihyun gasping and moving his hands up to grip onto Hoseok's shoulders, burying his face once more in Hoseok's throat, right at Hoseok's pulse point.
Kihyun bites down into Hoseok's skin, then, moaning as he feels Hoseok's fingers, still wet from Kihyun's mouth and tongue, circling his entrance, slowly, too slowly, enough to make Kihyun fall apart into a million pieces, while Hoseok's other hand holds his ass open, and Kihyun falls into Hoseok's embrace, into his chest, firm and hot, as Hoseok starts to tease one wet finger inside, little by little, moving it around in little circles, and Kihyun rolls his hips, rubs himself over Hoseok's erection, feels more than hears as Hoseok moans deep in his throat, deep in his chest in a rumble that shakes Kihyun to his core.
Hoseok pushes and pulls the same finger in and out, slow and wet and sticky just as he had in Kihyun's mouth, and Kihyun's body coils tight, heat bundling deep inside of him as he rocks his hips and keeps rubbing his ass over Hoseok's cock, feeling Hoseok's body tensing with pleasure, and then Hoseok carefully slips in a second finger, continues moving and stretching around Kihyun's rim, going deep to the knuckles and pulling out to the tips before plunging his fingers back in, scissoring and stretching Kihyun as they both tremble against each other, Kihyun mouthing at Hoseok's neck, leaving deep, blooming swatches of color, and teeth marks, deep and bruised in Hoseok's pale skin.
Kihyun moans loud against Hoseok's throat, loud and long as Hoseok pushes in his third wet finger, the stretch burning, so painful but so good, Kihyun curling forward and rubbing himself harder against Hoseok's cock, his own cock rubbing against Hoseok's stomach, and he can feel Hoseok's tension, can feel Hoseok's oncoming orgasm, but Kihyun is so close now that he can't even think, can't see anything or hear anything, all of his senses focused in only on Hoseok's fingers pushing in and out of him, now all three bundled together, achingly slow, Hoseok drawing it out like stretching thick taffy, Kihyun's entrance sucking Hoseok in and contracting tighter each time Hoseok pulls out, and Kihyun can't breathe, Hoseok's racing heartbeat in his throat and his chest pounding through Kihyun's head, and Hoseok starts to finger him harder and faster, deeper, wetter, rubbing along the inside of Kihyun's entrance as he goes, stroking along the walls of muscle in the deepest, most intimate of caresses.
And it takes all of Kihyun's willpower in that moment to push against Hoseok's chest, to push enough to lift himself from Hoseok's throat, his arms shaking even as he keeps rolling his hips, as Hoseok keeps fucking him, so that he can look into Hoseok's eyes, half-lidded and hazy, clouded over with lust, but like a magnet, they find Kihyun's immediately, and he understands exactly what Kihyun wants, that Kihyun wants Hoseok to see it when it happens, to capture the image in his mind, a picture for him only, Kihyun washed in the glow of ecstacy, Kihyun's mouth open in a loud, almost violent string of moans as he comes, shaking, trembling onto Hoseok's t-shirt, rubbing his ass over Hoseok's cock through the waves of pleasure that wreck through him, not breaking eye contact the entire time, letting Hoseok see it clearly, the moment that Kihyun completely lets go of everything but him.
And Kihyun sees it too, as he comes down, as he rolls and rubs himself through his climax over Hoseok's cock, Hoseok still hard and on the verge himself, Hoseok's breathing growing heavy and broken, Hoseok panting as he keeps fucking his fingers into Kihyun even as Kihyun is overcome with post-coital exhaustion, Kihyun's eyelids growing heavy with sleepiness, but Kihyun keeps staring at Hoseok, sees that same soft, sweet affection that's always there, that fondness for Kihyun that runs so deep that even underneath the lust, and the desire, and the physical passion, Kihyun still just sees that same Hoseok, that same soulmate of his that Kihyun loves with his whole stupid heart.
Hoseok is so close now, and Kihyun is hypersensitive to the point of it being painful, whining as Hoseok keeps fucking him, but Kihyun wants more, wants to give Hoseok more than just this, wants Hoseok to fuck him for real this time, and so he uses his last remaining bit of energy to grab onto Hoseok's shoulders tight, and to roll the two of them over, the mattress creaking loudly at the sudden change in position as Kihyun falls onto his back and Hoseok positions himself on top of him, straddling Kihyun's thighs, and they're still staring at each other, unable to even entertain the notion of looking away now.
"I just gave you a picture of me, one for your eyes only," Kihyun murmurs, his voice impossibly soft, and Hoseok's eyes darken with lust, Hoseok haloed by the faint gold of the hotel room lights. Kihyun thinks that Hoseok looks like an angel like this.
"Now..." Kihyun goes on, his voice going even quieter as he lets his legs fall open and squeezes on Hoseok's shoulders, as he pulls Hoseok in closer, Kihyun's entrance so sensitive and sore and yet craving Hoseok to plunge deep inside of him. He can feel Hoseok shaking, can feel the heat radiating off of Hoseok's body and the building pressure deep inside all of those ridiculous muscles of his, Kihyun knowing with absolute certainty that Hoseok is going to come the moment that he slides himself inside, and Kihyun's eyes go half-lidded, and he practically purrs as Hoseok moves in closer.
"I want my picture of you," Kihyun says.