Jotaro ❤️: homeboy i cant sleep
Kakyoin: Why?
Jotaro ❤️: nervous
Kakyoin: For the wedding? It's not that scary.
Jotaro ❤️: yeah it is
Kakyoin: How?
Jotaro ❤️: cause i have to make a speech
Kakyoin: That's what you're scared about?
Jotaro ❤️: yeah....,,, :(
Kakyoin: That's kinda lame not gonna lie.
Jotaro ❤️: hey >:(
Kakyoin: I mean, there are just better things to worry about, like what if everybody gets food poisoning or the ceiling collapses on us or something?
Jotaro ❤️: if the ceiling collapses on us then jœßuké can fix it for us
Kakyoin: wth is "jœßüké"
Jotaro ❤️: josukes name in my phone
Kakyoin: Oh okay.
Jotaro ❤️: And nobody is finna get food poisoning my mom is cooking and she wouldnt let that happen
Kakyoin: You can't be SURE that isn't going to happen.
Jotaro ❤️: but it isnt
Kakyoin: Okay whatever.
Kakyoin: And you're also getting bonded to me for the rest of your life, doomed to a life of monotony and boredom by the rings around our fingers.
Jotaro ❤️: stop grtting all poetic dummy
Kakyoin: I will chat as I please.
Jotaro ❤️: And why do you write with all this nice grammer?
Kakyoin: *grammar
Jotaro ❤️: SHUT UP!
Jotaro puts down his phone, sighing loudly. It seems like his homeboy has no fear at all for their wedding tomorrow, and yet he himself is riddled with it.
"Yare yare...." he mutters, and then puts away his phone. He hears it chime a few times as Kakyoin messages him, but he doesn't pick it back up to check them. He needs to sleep, and doctors recommend not looking at any device that emits blue light an hour before bed, so he's gotta put it down if he wants to sleep before 1 AM.
Meanwhile, Kakyoin is laying awake as well, phone tossed haphazardly on his bedsheets. He's just as nervous as Jotaro, but he tries to push it down.
He closes his eyes, hoping sleep will come to him soon. He turns on his ASMR playlist and puts on headphones, hoping the soothing sound of the Giorno Giovanna heals you and you're Mista video he has playing will lull him into a gentle sleep.
"Giorno! Don't take off my clothes! I'll feel it more!" Mista softly shouts into Kakyoin's knockoff EarPods.
Ah, how soothing.
But after another hour, he still can't catch any Z's. He tries another video, You're dying of Ligma and DIO Brando is your Boyfriend, his ultimate weapon against insomnia.
Thankfully, the sheer power of this video is enough to send him into a deep slumber after only the first few sentences.
////
The next morning, both boys start getting ready for their big day. They have a lot to do: get cleaned up, get their makeup done by their mothers, get their hair did, get dressed, and finally, arrive at their venue safely.
Said venue was a difficult one to find, but both boys knew it was perfect the second they thought of it:
A random plot of land outside of the bowling alley where they had their first ever romantically charged interactions.
"Okay Kakyoin, take a shower, but don't wash your hair, and then come out, I'll start your makeup and hair."
"Okay..." Kakyoin is already nervous, his hands trembling big time as he turns on the water. He washes himself, but finds that it's difficult to get all the way clean with his gakuran on. Well, he hasn't taken a shower without it on in 2 years, but he'll have to go without it today.
He takes it off, and underneath, he finds many things: some of Yellow Temperance's goo, 16 small cherries, a replacement earring and uniform button, 2 pocketknives (he doesn't know where the other one came from), one of Hierophant Green's severed tentacles, a small chalice, some of the nachos he'd gotten at the BA when he'd gone with the possy, a few post-it notes with various things written on them, his Bang Dream! Girls Band Party Saya figure, and his iPod Touch 4 from 2010.
It all clatters to the floor unceremoniously, the iPod Touch starts playing DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again by Usher and smoking in a concerning manner, the chalice rattling and shaking like it's possessed.
"Dang it, I hate it when that happens." Kakyoin mutters, kicking everything out of the way.
The rest of his morning goes by in a blur, with his mother helping him get ready and all that jazz. His mom is pretty familiar with all of this, and she does a good job getting him ready. Finally, she leads him out to the car, and begins the drive to the infamous bowling alley.
Jotaro's morning is quite similar, with his mom helping him out with his hair and makeup, although he is quite familiar with the act of taking his clothes off and doesn't have an incident like Kakyoin.
He does, however, break the toilet in his house, purely on accident.
He's just tryna pee like a normal human male, when he sees spider crawl up the side of the toilet, looking all nasty and stuff. He kicks it, but since he's so high on nerves, he ends up shattering the entire thing.
"Whoopsie. MEEMAW!" He shouts, watching as water splashes all over the place.
Wait...
"Eww! I got pee water on my feet! Nasty! Yucky! Gross!" He dances back and forth, trying to escape from the light yellow tide quickly approaching him.
"What is it, Jotaro?" Holly calls.
"I broke the toilet!"
"Did you clog it?"
"No, like, I broke it."
"Oh... Well, just finish up getting ready, I'll... Uh... fix it? Later?"
"Okay." Jotaro leaves the bathroom, feeling kinda like he's drunk and high at the same time. He's all lightheaded from worrying so much and also from not getting any sleep.
The rest of his morning goes by with him in a perpetual haze, just letting his mom take care of stuff for him.
Finally, he gets in the car and lets his mom drive him to the plot of land outside of the BA.
////
"Okay, hello, welcome to the wedding!" Holly says into a mic, looking out into the crowd. She doesn't know many of the people, in fact, there's quite a strange variety of people...
There's a blond dressed in all black with armed guards around him... he looks kinda like he's in the Mafia. Next to him is a much less threatening group of people, a few boys with funny hair and clothes. One of them, a guy with white hair and a long black cloak-dress is even eating a doughnut. Wonder where he got that from.
There's also a cool looking guy with a cowboy hat and long hair, with a dude in a wheelchair next to him. And behind them, another guy with a hat that says DIO on it... hmm, that name seems familiar somehow. The DIO hat guy also has a prosthetic dinosaur tail attached to him, which is quite epic.
"Well, I'm glad you all were able to make it for this very special day! We'll have the ceremony first, and then we'll have ourselves a little feast!"
Holly walks out of the spotlight and takes a seat in the front, next to Joseph Joestar and Kakyoin's parents. Ah, she's so excited!
First, the flower girl comes out. It's Jolyne, just kinda walking down the isle and tossing some petals around. She looks bored, and embarrassed. She isn't a minor, after all, and is also an escaped convict.
Then the priest, some random homeboy they found outside of the Chuckie Cheese with the rip in space time in it, named Pucci, comes sauntering out with a bible in his hand.
"Yeah! That's my mans!" DIO shouts from the back.
"Wait, who invited him?" Polnareff asks.
"My son, Giorno, gave me an invite."
"Ugh, whatever. Just don't kill us."
"I won't! I swear to god-"
"Only swear to God if you truly mean it, DIO." Pucci says, opening his bible.
"Okay, whatever." DIO sulks in his pew, slumping down low enough so that half of his body is hanging off of it.
"Okay, welcome to this wedding, I will be performing the vows to bind these two men together! Cupid's arrow hath struck two young hearts, and it is my job to pull the strings of fate binding them together!"
"String?" Jolyne says from the back. She's getting flashbacks. Pucci ignores her.
"May the first groom approach the alter?"
Jotaro comes out from behind a rock nearby and stands at the alter. He's looking pretty hot, not gonna lie.
"Bruh, where's my homeboy fiancé?" He says under his breath. He just wants to get married to his boy, eat some of his meemaw's cooking, and then go home.
"Okay, other groom, go stand at the end of the aisle."
Kakyoin comes out from behind another rock and positions himself accordingly. When Jotaro gets a good look at him, his breath is taken away.
It's as if an angle stepped onto earth, the sight of Kakyoin is so beautiful.
His suit is the color of freshly fallen snow, accentuating his deep purple irises. A line of freckles speckle his cheek, just a fine dusting, also more obvious with the white clothing he's wearing. His hair is neatly smoothed back, except for his usual chunk of wavy red, which hangs in front of his face, slightly obscuring it.
He seems to glow, shining so brightly all of Jotaro's worries are melted away.
"Bro..." he murmures, scared that if he speaks any louder, he'll shatter the porcelain beauty of his soon-to-be husband.
"I guess it's time for me to make my speech, then.
"I just want you to know, 'Yoin, that you're my everything. I love you like I've loved nobody else before. You're incredible, epic, hot, sexy, kind, and an epic gamer. I just can't appreciate you enough. You're my world, bro."
"Bro..." Kakyoin says, looking right into his true love's eyes. "You're my world too..."
A single tear slips down Jotaro's cheek, moved by Kakyoin's simple words.
"And... I wouldn't give you up for anything, bro. Like, anything. I'd give my life to save you. For real." Kakyoin's voice strengthens, although he's trembling with barely-contained emotion.
"Okay. You may approach the groom."
Kakyoin walks down the isle.
Everyone is deathly silent.
Everybody's crying a little bit, also, even DIO's eyes are watering a bit, thinking about how his boy might do this one day.
"Kakyoin Noriaki, do you promise to love, cherish, and care for this man for the rest of your life? Do you promise to remain together, till death do your part?"
"Yes, I do."
"And Kujo Jotaro, do you promise to love, cherish, and care for this man for the rest of your life? Do you promise to remain together, till death do your part?"
Jotaro pauses, moistening his lips. He's about to say the most important words of his life.
"I... I do..."
"I hereby pronounce you husband and husband! You may now kiss the groom!" Pucci raises his arms, and Kakyoin and Jotaro tackle each other.
If they'd thought that they'd had passionate kisses before, well, they'd never imagined what this one was going to be like.
Despite the hard impact, the kiss is gentle, so soft and delicate it could be blown away by the wind. So perfect, so fragile, yet so charged.
"My son!" Holly wails, watching the two boys press into each other, both weeping silently.
Holly grabs Joseph's arm, crying into his shirt. Joseph is crying a little bit too, but Holly is too caught up to notice.
"Bruh this is so beautiful!" Josuke sobs, forgetting to do his stupid accent and also talk in that weird way.
"Gah, I hate weddings! They always get me so choked up!" Mista weeps into Giorno's shoulder, banging on the pew with his free hand.
After a long minute of everybody crying, the boys finally pull away.
"Man..." Jotaro says softly, looking into the eyes of his homeboy husband.
"I love you, man." Kakyoin murmures, only loud enough for Jotaro to here.
"I love you, homie. I love you so much." Jotaro smiles, a silvery tear tracing a thin path down his cheek. He sniffles, trying to keep himself from bawling.
"Homie..."
"Homie..."
"Let's make out?"
"Yeah."
////
Oh, what a beautiful ending to this incredible saga! I can't believe it's over, I feel like I just started writing it... ah...
So much has changed in my life since I've started writing this; I watched Jojo almost up to the end of part 5,... well, that's kinda it, actually. But I've grown as a writer, and dare I say... as a person?
Naw, it ain't that deep.
Thanks for coming along for this wild ride, though! Thanks to YaasssKween for letting me "steal" your jokes, to GeekClique for losing your absolute mind over this, and to gamerguy420 for bullying me about the kiss scenes. I appreciate all of you.
And I appreciate all of YOU guys for reading this! I've loved all of the support you've given me, and it makes me feel really good whenever I see comments talking about how much this made y'all laugh, it really warms my heart.
Look for my next Jojo fic, coming soon to a wattpad profile near you! It'll be much shorter, but hopefully, much denser as well.
AU REVOIR, SAYONARA, and GOODBYE, ILL SEE YOU GUYS NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!
////
Fin.