Uh
Nsfwish
Suicide attempt warning
I'm writing this as story as a vent so sorry if its edgy or cliche
Izaya's POV
I once again woke up in pain, groaning. My head throbbed with pain, and I felt nauseous. I opened my eyes, glancing around the room, before noticing the blonde man holding me close. I was too weak to push him away, and sighed in defeat. I felt too hot, but too cold, and I knew my fever had returned. "Shizu-chan..." I mumbled weakly in an attempt to wake him. A light bulb appeared above my head, a plan to wake him forming. Little did I know how stupid it really was, my head clouded with the fever. I grinded myself against him, and moaned like a girl from hentai, "A-ah, Shizu-chan..."
That sure got the monster to wake up, he growled sexily in my ear, making me turn a bright shade of red. "You brat..."
I smirked in my success, pleased with myself. He held me closer, and nuzzled against the crook of my neck, his got breath making me shiver. He bit and suckled at my neck, leaving hickeys I would surely need to hide. My head was spinning and I let out a small gasp, realizing the mess I just got myself into. I felt one of his hand snake it's way down my back and onto my ass, squeezing it firmly. He was obviously not fully awake yet, as he began humping me like a dog to a pillow. "Sh-Shizu-chan! S-Stop!" I managed to stutter, my face heating. He came to his senses and stopped, pulling away so fast he nearly jumped off the bed. His face was beet red as he apologized profusely. I panted heavily, trying to catch my breath as the embarrassed Shizuo's eyes darted around the room looking for an escape. I was clearly turned on, too feverish to care for my pride.
All too quickly the need to puke overwhelmed me and I darted into my bathroom. I gagged into the toilet, heaving and throwing up until nothing remained. Shizuo rubbed my back comfortingly, and helped me clean myself up, all embarrassment of the scene prior forgotten. I chuckled after a moment, "You act like I'm your pregnant wife with morning sickness..." He reddened, and looked away, not responding to my teasing. He then helped me brush my teeth and carried me back to bed.
The rest of the day was a blur, Shizuo tending to my every need. I was too exhausted and sickly to fight back, simply accepting the help I was given. Days of this passed. Me too sick to care for myself and Shizuo caring for me like a newborn. I slowly regained my strength as my fever subsided. Shizu-chan left more and more each day, heading to work or to do various errands around Ikebukuro. I stayed in bed mostly, unable to will myself to get up, the pain immense even though my illness had left. After a week or so he stopped coming altogether, only checking on me every handful of days.
I have many missed calls from Shiki, Namie, and a few random clients. However I am too tired and care too little to respond, even knowing they would have my head for being dormant for so long.
Shizuo hasn't come to check on me in around 3 days, in that time I have barely left my bed, nor have I eaten. I simply lay there, staring at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts. I was a God, so how could I be so, weak? Was it true that I was just a weak human like everyone else? I felt my facade slipping and I began to sob into my pillow, feeling weak, alone, and afraid. I cried and cried until I couldn't any longer, merely reduced to sniffles and choked cries. I was pathetic, weak, and vulnerable.
In a numb state I managed to clamber out of bed, grabbing my anti-anxiety medication and the medication Shinra gave me for the pain. I took a handful of each, a smile plastered on my face. I cut my wrists to ribbons, not caring at the amount of blood that was pooling onto my expensive floors. I then drew myself a bath, laying in the warm water as I felt myself being pulled into unconsciousness.