By the time I woke up, Jeff was asleep next to me, and bright sunlight was shining through the curtains.
I rolled over and faced Jeff.
Although trying to guess whether he was asleep or not was a little tricky, seeing as he has no eyelids.
That fact about him is confusing.
"How in the hell does he keep his eyes from drying out?" I whispered, staring at him.
"I've never seen him use eye drops before, so what the fuck-" I cut my sentence short when Jeff mumbled something.
"What's that boy? Penny fell down the well! Oh no!" I laughed quietly at myself and decided that I should probably get up.
I sat up and stretched my arms, yawning a bit.
I slowly creaked the door open and quietly closed it behind me.
I feel kinda bad for leaving him all alone in bed but at the same time he did it to us.
Men ain't shit and hoes mad.
True, true.
Anyways, I made my way downstairs and decided to make some toast for my breakfast.
"Damn it's already 10?" I whispered, glancing at the clock.
"Aw I missed breakfast." I whined.
"(Y/N)!" I heard a voice behind me.
I turned around and smiled when I saw Jane.
"Hey! Where have you been lately?" I asked.
"Well Nat- Oh, sorry I meant Clockwork and I have been on a little road trip. We just got back late last night." She said.
"Oh, cool!" I smiled.
I felt something against my leg and looked down to see Grinny.
I picked them up and snuggled my face against their floofy cheek.
They jumped out of my arms and ran into the living room.
"Anyways, I should probably bring these to N- Clockwork." She said, holding up a bag of M&M's.
"Alright, talk to you later." I smiled and waved.
"Oh shit-" I cursed, remembering my toast.
Which was now burnt.
"Fuck me sideways with a chainsaw." I mumbled, throwing the slices into the garbage.
"Gladly." BEN's voice appeared behind me.
"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes.
"To you? Any time." He winked, making me shudder.
"Hey! Where's my candy, you bitch?" I asked.
"Right here." He held up a bag of Sour Patch Kids.
"Hell yeah." I smiled, snatching the bag out of his hands.
"Fuck toast, this is breakfast." I flipped the toaster off and slipped past BEN.
I was on my way to the living room when I was stopped by a tall douchebag.
Oh sorry I meant I was stopped by Slender.
"I advise you to not call me that again." He warned.
"What?" I asked.
"Don't make me repeat it, please." He sighed.
"What do you want, tall douchebag?" I questioned, opening my package of candy.
"I need you to take the garbage out and feed the mongrel." He said.
"Which mongrel? BEN?" I asked.
"No, the dog." He sighed again.
"Ok." I said, walking past him.
"Wha-? Okay? That's it? No arguing?? Are you feeling okay, (Y/N)? I'm growing quite concerned about you." He questioned, teleporting in front of me again.
"No, I only agreed because I can blackmail BEN into doing it all for me." I smirked, glancing at BEN, who was trying to take the again burnt toast out of the toaster.
"Ah, of course, I knew I shouldn't have asked." Slender nodded before teleporting away.
I flopped down onto the couch and grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels on the TV.
I heard someone coming down the stairs and instantly recognized the footsteps.
"Jeff!" I yelled, throwing my arms up.
He turned the corner and flopped on top of me tiredly.
I let out an "Oof" and gasped for air.
"You okay?" He asked, mumbling.
"Yep." I said happily, playing with his hair.
He sighed, content.
"So how's my boobs as a pillow?" I asked.
"It's great, much better than any pillow I've ever had." He said.
"Of course they are." I said proudly.
"You fucking perv." I added, mumbling.
This author is kinda lazy, y'know, not making any more major plot points.
Hey, give her a break.
Life as an author is hard, and her hands hurt from typing.
That's not an excuse.
She just had a 3 day break.
Okay but like-
She knows this story is gonna end soon, and so she's just trying to fill the places before the final chapter.
How's she gonna end the book?
Well, I'll tell you.
—REDACTED—
MOTHER FUCK-
Sorry.
No spoilers.
Is that just cause she doesn't know what she's gonna do?
Yeah pretty much.
Of course it is.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean.
Bitch she's lazy and out of ideas, admit it.
Okay fine, maybe, but that doesn't mean you have to call her out on it.
I'M LITERALLY HER-
SHUT THE FUCK UP WERE ALREADY BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL-
Both of you shut the fuck up before I delete your fucking existences.
Oh shi-
Author-Channnn!!!!~
Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
"Hey Jeff?" I asked.
"Hm?" He hummed.
"When are we gonna get married?" I questioned.
"Well, if you can find a priest who'll wed a serial killer and a witch then go ahead." He said sarcastically.
"I bet EJ could do an online test and become a priest." I said.
"Oh shit I forgot about that." He said, looking up at me.
I raised my eyebrow, waiting for a 'Oh my god you're a genius I love you'.
"I'm not gonna say it." He copied me and raised his eyebrow.
I pouted, huffing.
"Fine. You were right." He rolled his eyes.
"And??" I pressed.
"And I love you." He added.
I smiled happily and laughed a bit.
"GROSS! EW!! IM GONNA PUKE!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!" BEN screeched, suddenly appearing.
"Shut the fuck up or I'll beat your ass. Again." I warned.
"You guys are fucking disgostang, you know that?!" He said.
"Alright." Jeff sighed, standing up and stretching.
"Wha-" BEN's eyes went wide as Jeff pulled a knife out of FUCKING NOWHERE WHAT THE H-
"NO! PLEASE! EJ- HELP-!!!"