DEDICATION: CORINA34 BECAUSE YOUR COMMENT WAS JUST TOO CUTE, YOU GEM <3 I LIKE PEOPLE WITH MANNERS
GIF: HARRY COULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING TO THAT BOY AND HE WOULD JUST STAND THERE AND LET IT HAPPEN, I LOVE NARRY (BUT NOT AS MUCH AS LARRY :P)
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It was cold for June, and Harry could feel it as he pulled his coat up around his ears. He wasn't in the mood for a Monday and he most certainly was not in the mood for class, even if it was his favorite one.
Since Friday's events, he wasn't really in the mood for anything except lying in bed and crying.
His friend, Niall, walked along side him in silence as the two made their way to the coffeehouse to meet their friends before class.
"You feeling better today, buddy?" He asked and Harry shook his head.
As soon as Louis had left on Friday night, Harry had called Niall, who had come running over to console the crying boy.
Harry was a mess, to say the least. He really loved Louis and thought that they were going to be together for a long time. The break up was hard and Harry didn't know what to do, so he called his best friend who brought chocolate and movies to make him feel better.
"No, Niall." Harry replied, keeping his eyes down.
Niall didn't know what to say, so he kept walking in silence.
"It'll be okay," He said after a while as the two continued walking.
"No it won't be." Harry replied as he felt himself falling apart again.
He tried to hold it together as he felt the tears coming again. He was trying to be strong but he was just so cut up inside, it was nearly impossible.
"Harry-" Niall put a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him, but he just shrugged it off.
"Don't." Harry shook his head as his face crumpled. "I can't-"
He stopped walking and wiped his face, pressing his hands into his eyes as he tried not to cry in the middle of the street.
Niall stopped next to him and pulled him in for a hug, rubbing his back in solace.
"It will be, man." He whispered and Harry pulled away, trying to keep on walking.
"He yelled at me." Harry explained. "He got angry, and he was shouting at me."
"He was probably just caught off guard or something, I mean, it's a pretty big question." Niall offered.
"H-He broke up with me, because I loved him." Harry said in confusion. "Because I love him."
Niall didn't want to interrupt, so he stayed quiet as they slowly walked down the street.
"I don't understand..." Harry whispered. "I don't-" He broke off to sniffle, partially because of the cold and partially because of the crying.
"T-The shouting... and he never said that he loved me back." He added in a small voice. "I-I must have said it at least 10 times, before, during and after the... uh, when I asked him. And he never said it back."
Niall offered him a sympathetic look in response before he kept talking.
"It just... It made me think. Did he even love me? Was I blind or something and made it all up in my head? Was he even real? Niall, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do..."
"Harry." Niall replied. "He was real. In fact, we're going to see him in like, 2 minutes, so I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to be okay, you think you can do that?"
Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes again, getting rid of the last few tears.
"I don't know... We haven't spoken since Friday, I don't know what he'll say, what he'll do, what he'll look like, if he did his hair the same way he always does, if he cried, if he's fine, if he regrets it, if he even thought about me since." Harry rambled, getting more and more worked up. "What if he doesn't care? Niall I don't know what I'm gonna do if he feels nothing at all. I don't know if I could bare knowing that the entire relationship was nothing to him."
"Harry," Niall said, grabbing both his shoulders. "Harry, calm down. You're gonna be fine."
"It was so bad," Harry whispered, closing his eyes as he head tipped to the ground. "All I can think about is that night, it's been replaying in my head all weekend."
"It's going to be okay." Niall reassured him, linking their arms so that he could pull him towards the shop. "You'll be okay."
"I don't know if I can do this..." Harry hesitated in front the door. "I don't know if I can face-"
"You can." Niall stated confidently.
"Niall, you weren't there, you don't know-"
"But I was there straight after, and you've told me everything." Niall replied. "There was you asking the question, then there was Louis freaking out, then there was you trying to convince him to say yes, then there was him-"
"I get it." Harry cut him off.
They walked around the corner to where the coffee shop sat and Niall directed them through the door to their usual seat.
The place was busy, the hustle and bustle of the coffee grinders and people chatting filling the boys' ears as they went to their table and sat down.
"I'm gonna order." Niall told Harry before going up to the counter.
Harry nodded and went to their table, nervously waiting for the others to show.
He wanted to see Louis, to know if he regretted the break up. But if that meant seeing Louis completely normal, he wasn't so sure he wanted to be there.
He let out a long breath and put his head in his arms on the table as Niall returned and put a hand on his back.
They didn't notice the bell ring when the coffee shop door opened and more customers entered.
"Hey."
Harry's head snapped up at the sound of Zayn's voice. He knew what that meant, Louis was going to be just behind him. He sat up and tried to look presentable, not wanting to appear vulnerable.
"Hello, lads." Louis popped out from behind Zayn to sit diagonally across from Harry, who watched with wide eyes as his ex acted like everything was fine.
Lads? Harry couldn't believe he was just referred to as a lad by the man he was in love with. He didn't want to be just a lad in Louis' eyes.
He gulped and didn't offer a reply, so Niall did.
"Hey." He replied with a brief smile.
Harry looked sneakily at Louis out of the corner of his eye as Zayn and Niall started a conversation to break with silence.
He expected his eyes to be red at least, maybe he'd lost a little sleep over it. His hair could have been a little messed up like he couldn't be bothered or maybe he could have been a little more upset. But no, he looked perfect, as per usual, and Harry didn't understand why.
He was a mess and there Louis was, looking like an angel.
The only thing he knew was that it wasn't fair. He was supposed to hurting too.
"Harry?"
Niall's voice made him finally tear his eyes away from his ex.
"Hm?" He asked.
"Zayn asked you a question." Niall prompted, but he was met with confused eyes.
"You have history class next, right?" Zayn asked him, trying to make conversation and Harry nodded.
"Right," He nodded back, unsure how to act in response to the broken boy's antisocial behavior. "Have you ordered?" Zayn asked and Niall nodded his head.
"Yeah, they should be ready, actually. Help me carry them?" He asked.
"Sure," Zayn replied, nervously looking to Louis to see if it would be okay to leave him alone with Harry. Louis nodded, silently reassuring him that it would be fine so the two of them got up and went to the counter to collect their drinks. Harry didn't hear any of the conversation, gazing off into the distance as Louis nervously played with his hands, before looking up at Harry for the first time that morning.
"How are you?" Louis broke the silence, making Harry turn his eyes to the one person he really didn't want to talk to.
"F-Fine." He stumbled, silently cursing himself for not being able to reply without showing his emotions. That was always his fatal flaw. Harry could never conceal how he was feeling. "You?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay." He answered, looking down at the table as Harry's eyes got harsher and colder. He was beginning to realize that Louis wasn't just acting okay, he was okay.
"Good." Harry spat, not believing what he was seeing. He really was fine.
Louis nodded and much to Harry's dismay, offered him a small smile. Harry couldn't help but wonder how on earth he thought it was appropriate to smile.
Before Harry could retaliate, the other two boys came back with their drinks.
They sat down and gave Harry and Louis theirs as they sat down into the awkward silence that Harry and Louis had created.
Harry looked up again at Louis, but Zayn had already started a conversation with him that had him smiling and laughing, which almost made Harry cry.
He didn't understand, he really didn't. It was killing him to see Louis like that.
Eventually, Louis glanced his way and gave another small smile, trying to ease the tension, but Harry couldn't do anything except look back with hurt in his eyes.
"Lou, you gonna come to mine tonight? Niall's coming." Zayn asked. "We're gonna have a FIFA contest."
"Yeah, alright." Louis happily replied, making Harry groan.
"Harry?" Niall asked.
"What?" Harry retorted.
"You wanna come too?" Zayn asked.
"To what?" Harry questioned, having not listened to the conversation.
"To my place for FIFA tonight?" Zayn replied. "A friend of mine from home has just moved here and I said I'd introduce him to a few friends. Plus, who doesn't like premier league? Its Liverpool-Arsenal tonight, boys." He added with a small laugh, which Louis joined in on, making Harry narrow his eyes.
"Sure, why not." Harry emotionlessly answered.
"Cool," Zayn chirped. "You guys can come round at around 7 to watch Liverpool kick ass."
"Great," Louis replied with a grin. "Looking forward to it."
"Um, no way." Niall replied with a girn. "Arsenal's gonna absolutely cream them."
"Nah huh!" Louis retorted with a laugh. "Liverpool's got this in the bag, innit Harry?"
He turned to look at the poor boy, but was only met with Harry's broken eyes.
He shook his head in disbelief, biting his tongue, before standing up and grabbing his coffee. He didn't want to stick around any more, for fear of saying something he didn't mean. He couldn't keep his mouth shut about Louis for much longer.
"I'm gonna go," Harry mumbled, keeping his head down. "Gotta go to class."
Before anyone could stop him, he was out the door, wiping the tears that were streaming down his face.
He was heartbroken all over again. He honestly thought that Louis would have felt something, anything, after their break up. But he was fine, laughing even. He was acting just like it used to be when they all hung out, except Harry was dying inside.
He squeezed his red, puffy eyes closed and took a deep breath as he headed to campus for his history class, wondering to himself what happened.
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If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I'm not fine at all.