Another week passes in a blur, already making my past occupation seem like a distant memory. Gaius teaches me practical work, trusting me enough to look after the primary treatments.
Merlin has been slowly adding to my belongings despite my protests. It's made my room look more like a living space which makes me proud, but, still, I wouldn't say I like that Merlin would spend money on me. I'll soon be earning my own money, and hopefully, he'll allow me to repay him.
I'm glad I made a friend in Gwen who no longer makes sure to keep a preferable distance. She's come to the realisation I won't attack her randomly...again. I spend more time with the servant girl, blending my socialising to talk with my newfound friends. Everyone seems to be acting as if it has always been this way, and I like that because of how easy it has made my transition.
I help sweep out Gwen's house while she goes through a few different cupboards. She has a newfound need to 'spring' clean, as she called it. I offered to help, having never cleaned a house out before. Gwen tells me of her Father, Tom, as she finds an object of his, a different story bound to each item. Tom was Camelot's blacksmith before he made dealings with a sorcerer. Uther had him executed for it even though he meant no harm.
As she speaks of her Father, my mind wanders. I can't help but think about my own Father. Of course, I never knew him, but often I wonder where he or my mother ended up in life. There are many questions about the subject of my parents that I try to forget.
Last night was one of my weakest. I gave into that part of my mind, hunting for my Father's letter in amongst my belongings. I was both relieved and disappointed to find I hadn't lost it. I try not to look at the letter as much as possible, but unfortunately, I can't stop myself sometimes.
Gaius enters through the front door, jumping to the side as I sweep a large pile of dust out the door. I apologise, continuing with my work. Gwen has had many people volunteer to help her clean out unnecessary objects and earn an extra coin or two. Only a few can come for certain amounts of time, myself appearing to be the only person free to help full time.
"Making any progress?" Gaius asks, replacing an old set of flowers with new ones in a vase on Gwen's table.
"Yes, I've already got so much room!" Gwen exclaims excitedly, placing another object in a box full of her Father's stuff. That's the box of belongings she refuses to part with.
"Which box are items to be sold?" Gaius asks, looking around at the many scattered boxes. "I could have Merlin deal with those for you."
"No, not at all, Gaius. I will deal with them myself. Don't you worry yourself," Gwen protests, appearing from the back of her room with a large woven box? She walks over to her large table in the centre.
She turns to me. "These are some dresses I've never worn...they were my Mothers, and I just...don't feel like they belonged to me. I've been meaning to let them go for a long time but never can. They'll do you better, Edythe."
I'm taken back by her proposal, already meaning to protest, "No, I couldn't."
"Please, they're just rotting away here. Besides, you can't just wear that shirt and pants forever," Gwen rebuttals.
Usually, I would be offended by someone commenting on my clothing, but I know she has a point. I don't live on the road anymore. I can allow myself to try and live normally with clothing choices. I've always hated dresses; the concept is so useless. The long fabric always gets in the way in various situations. Although, I can't see in what situation I would find myself thinking that anymore.
Reluctant, I reach for the bland coloured fabrics. The texture is rough but similar to anything I've worn before. I pull out the first dress of two. The gown falls before me, pale green fading into the cream layers. Silver patterned stitching alines the top of the neck. The woman who wore this was a servant, but the dress is well kept despite this. This would be a dress worn on a daily occasion. Cream sleeves run down where the arms should be, quite wavy, despite the rough fabric.
I return the dress into the basket, clutching onto the other dress. I can feel Gwen's eyes on the fabric, memories attached to them. The length falls toward the floor as I pull out the next dress. I hold it up to keep it off the floor, but it still almost touches with the long length. The fabric is a faded crimson red. The neck is woven with a golden pattern that continues down the long slim sleeves. A simple golden design is woven through the more solid waist of the dress, making the curl of the base clear.
"I don't remember my Mother well, but I know she wore that dress on special occasions", Gwen whispers. "She was a maid in a nobleman's household, so she had to have something for events-"
"I can't have this", I object, already trying to force the dress back into Gwen's possession. I know it must hurt her to give this to me. I don't see why she wouldn't wear it herself. For a servant, this would be worth a good few coins. I can't take that from her.
Gwen giggles. "No, Edythe. I have no need for it, and I want to give it to you."
I want to continue protesting, not wanting to take away something so precious to her. Before I can press on the matter, a knock at the door distracts us. Our heads turn to the door. Our argument ceases as Leon appears in the doorway, Elyan peering over his back.
"Sorry to intrude. Elyan said you would be cleaning Gwen, so I sought to lend a hand" Leon offers manners like a saint. Leon's easy-going, kind nature always amuses me. I think because I had grown so used to his serious Knight face and not his off-job personality.
"Oh, you don't have to", Gwen protests, already headed toward the door to scold her brother.
"No, it's no bother at all", Leon assures, entering the house pulling off his red cloak to rest it on a stool. Elyan follows behind, mimicking his friend's actions. "Edythe", both men greet in unison. "Gaius."
Gaius and I give back greetings and waves. I return the dress into the woven basket, not feeling right holding it any longer than I should. Elyan catches sight of the dress, a grim expression flooding his eyes. He chooses not to speak on it, turning to his sister with a greeting smile. "I got you something," he muses, handing a small pouch to Gwen.
"Elyan. You shouldn't," Gwen scolds, taking the pouch in hand.
"I know. I just don't like leaving you without and alone down here," Elyan presses. He watches eagerly as his sister pulls out a wooden carving of a horse from the pouch. Her face lights up in excitement, immediately hugging and thanking her brother.
The moment makes me wonder how Elyan is a knight. If his father was a blacksmith and his mother a servant, he is not of noble birth. Only sons of nobility can assign for knighthood. I mentally note to ask someone about that minor detail. There must be a reason. As Elyan had said, he hates to leave Gwen without, meaning he tries to give money to his sister.
"I wish I had a brother as caring", Leon jokes. He nudges me on the shoulder playfully as he takes the boom from beside me and begins to sweep.
My interest peeks. "You have brothers?"
"Just one", Leon states a low smirk on his lips. "Although, I'm sure he will take the path of assuming hold of our family's estate."
"Not as a knight?" The statement confuses me. Most noblemen would choose to take the pledge, the most incredible honour in all the lands.
"Made too much of a good reputation for him to live up to, is that it?" I tease, nudging the knight.
Leon chuckles. "That may be a reason" his expression falls severe despite our joking behaviour. "No...I believe he wishes to keep what little our family has left...."
I know then that I've touched on a sore subject as Leon's mood shifts. I chose not to press on the matter, no matter how much I would like to learn of Leon's childhood and family. I try to search for a new subject as the two of us become silent. Before I can speak up, Leon beats me to the conversation change.
"You know, Gwen's mother used to be a maid in my household when I was a boy", Leon offers. As the memory flashed across his eyes, a smile takes his lips. The sight brings a smile to my lips.
I pull myself to sit on the table as Leon sweeps where I stand. "No, I didn't know."
"Gwen and I have been close friends ever since", Leon continues, pausing his sweeping to face me. "I knew that dress as soon as I saw it," he adds, pointing to the woven basket.
My stomach sinks at the reminder. Immediately, Elyan's face flashes in my mind, only making me feel worse about the gift Gwen will force on me.
"It's hard to forget. She was very kind," Leon finishes, his mind lost in thought for a moment. He doesn't dwell on it, resuming to sweep.
Unsure of what to say, now feeling even worse about the two dresses than I was before, I choose to remain on the table. I take a moment to regain myself.
"Are you coming to Percival's party tomorrow night?" Leon asks.
I groan at the reminder, completely having forgotten that was even happening. "Oh god, I forgot!" I burst, burying my head into my hands as I realise I am unprepared for the event. Gwen has been on my case for the past week, demanding that I find a dress to wear...
It dawns on me as I glance down at the red fabric. I let out another moan at the realisation, feeling so simple-minded. It's not just a gift from Gwen. It's something to wear to the party. I couldn't grasp why she was being so pushy about the dress, not that the party should be a reason to give it to me. The thought of wearing the dress made me feel bad, but now the idea of wearing it to a party... and one where Gwen and Elyan will be attending makes me feel worse.
Leon chuckles, probably thinking I'm unprepared. "I'm sure Gwen will help you."
"Oh, I'm sure she will", I agree sarcastically, already figuring out my argument with her for later.
Leon lets out another chuckle in response. "You wouldn't need an escort by any chance, would you?" he asks, light embarrassment filling his expression as the words leave his lips.
My eyes grow wide in surprise, shocked and taken aback by the offer. Once again, I can't believe that someone would ask me to an event, my thoughts quickly rushing to when Gwaine asked me. I feel so stunned that someone would ask me to an event, never mind two knights.
Leon is waiting for a response with an eager glow in his eyes. A blush flares on my cheeks. The sinking realisation that I already agreed to go with Gwaine floods over me. I don't regret the agreement, but it feels terrible that I'll have to turn down Leon, especially since he's been such a gentleman.
I cringe, the embarrassment taking over me. "Ah, no, sorry. I have an escort."
Much to my surprise, Leon smirks, nodding in response. "I thought as much. This escort wouldn't happen to be Gwaine by any chance, would he?" Leon asks, a playful expression taking his features.
I sigh. "Yeah...."
Leon chuckles, eyes falling to the floor. "Knew he'd beat me to it. Oh well, at least I know you're coming."
Is he being suggestive to me? No, he can't be, as I don't know what flirting is. I've never personally found myself in a situation like this, usually dealing with some dead beats in taverns who get too close for comfort. I usually end up teaching them a lesson or two. This is very different. I'm turning down a noble knight of Camelot, only to go with another friend, who also happens to be a knight. Safe to say, few people find themselves in this situation...what is going on in my life?
I giggle, choosing to put this off as a good friendship joke. "I'm honoured to be what I imagine is one of many choices Sir Knight."
Leon grins, "First choice, actually."
I can't hide my surprise this time, unsure what to do or say. I find myself speechless. I'm not reading into this too much, am I? I don't know if I should be flattered or concerned by this. Not that there's anything wrong with Leon, he is an attractive man–not that that means anything to me! I just mean...he's nice to be around, and I do like him, but I don't know if I would encourage such behaviour. I don't know who I'm trying to convince of what here.
As words start to stumble in incoherent mutterings, Elyan comes to my rescue, knocking down the bag I brought with me to the ground with a loud thud. The other three had been immersed in finishing up Gwen's house while Leon and I talked.
"Sorry!" Elyan shrieks, immediately jumping to collect all the objects rolling across the ground. Most consist of simple herbs, my cloak, parchments of paper, ink and a quill.
I leap off the table to help the Knight. "Not at all, Elyan. I shouldn't have brought it." I lean down and begin collecting up all the paper from the floor. The two of us gather all my belongings and return them to my bag, the others returning to clean.
"Edythe?" Gaius calls.
I climb to my feet, returning my bag to the stool. "Yes?"
"What's this?" he asks.
I turn on my heel, expecting him to hold up one of my many jars of peculiar herbs I've collected in my travels. I'm completely caught off guard when I see him holding onto a scrunched, faded yellow piece of paper. The piece of writing I've clung to for my whole life, the piece of paper that is the only thing that ties me to my parents. It means so much but says so little.
"It's um...it's nothing special", I stutter. I don't know why, but I feel invaded seeing someone else holding onto the yellow paper. "It's just a letter I hold onto."
"Who from?" Gaius asks, squinting to look down at the small cursive writing. Thankfully he probably won't read most of it without his glasses.
"My-uh...my Father."
"I thought you said you didn't know your father?" Elyan questions, quickly falling silent as I give him a non-deliberate glare.
"I don't. It's the only thing I have," I answer in a low voice, giving the knight an apologetic look.
The room falls silent, no one knowing what to say. Gaius continues to try and examine the letter, which I don't understand. He appears interested, focused and thoughtful toward the letter, which confuses me.
"W-would it bother you if I examined the letter further?" Gaius asks carefully, his eyes looking up at me with an expression I can only describe as a denial.
I frown, even more confused. His suggestion makes me uneasy and defensive, which only aggravates me because I shouldn't have such an attachment to something so stupid. It's not like I can will my Father to appear out of the letter or magically see something in the letter I never have before. I'm mad at myself for feeling as though I should be protective of the paper. It's not like it'll make me look bad. Why should I care?
"Of course." My voice is unconvincingly calm. I feel the urge to get out, get away from the situation—too many emotions for me to process that I don't quite understand on two entirely different fronts.
"Don't expect to find anything. I've read that a thousand times. There's nothing special." I rush from the room, needing fresh air. Leon calls after me, but I don't stop. I follow the street in the first direction I decide on, disappearing into the crowd.
I have trouble breathing. I don't know why. I cradle my chest as it burns for air, but I push on, disappearing into the crowded town. I can't tell why I'm getting so worked up about this. This concept only aggravates me even more.
I turn into an alley used for transporting goods to and from the citadel. As soon as I'm in the cool stone arch, a calm overcomes me as if I've been pulled from a stuffy room and into the fresh air. I lean my head up against the wall, taking in deep breaths, still clutching onto my chest. The loud murmurs of working people in the streets become distant, and I bring myself back to my senses.
I mentally pound myself for feeling so weak and getting so aggravated by someone else looking at my letter. I want to curl up and shame myself for acting like such a child.
"Excuse me, ma'am?" a voice calls, catching me off guard. I leap around in defence, the voice coming from within the alley.
A tall figure stands in the shadow of the stone wall. He wears a dark navy cloak that falls to the ground. His cloak is old and tattered but well kept. I see an old-faced man behind the hood of his cloak, wrinkles only just beginning to show through his pale skin.
"Are you Edythe?" he asks, his voice deep.
"Uh-" I struggle over my words, taken back that he knows my name. "Yeah, I-I am."
The man steps forward, causing me to step back, feeling my body become tense. He pulls the hood from his face, short, tangled grey hair falling over his shoulders. "I was hoping to find you. Is this a bad time?" He looks around to check if anyone is noticing our conversation.
I also look around to clarify that someone can see or if no one can. "N-no. Not at all," I offer, deciding he may be an old man needing assistance.
A smirk takes his lips. "Good. I was hoping to place an order."
As if the words are a trigger, my mind fall into the mentality it has many times. I've heard that sentence almost every few weeks for a long time. No one can ask you to steal an object outright in public or private. It has to be made a way that there is no actual 'crime' exchange if anyone were listening. All my clients ask for an 'order', and I try to deliver. Of course, not without payment.
My mind then registers what the man asks, where I am, and how different things have become since I last had an 'order' placed.
I stutter. "An order?"
"Yes, for an Allister Crane", he continues, now leaning in. I lean back as far as I can. "I would like an emerald stone engraved with silver patterns. Just the stone in silver, nothing else attached...I believe you'll find such an artefact-" He glances over his shoulder. "Underground, specifically in Camelot."
As if reading each other's minds, we look toward the Castle, and I know he speaks of the Camelot volts. Naturally, my inner demons are screaming to take the job, this being my instinct. But my mind is stronger, and I intend to change. I've come too far to fall back into old habits, no matter how much this man, Allister, I presume, wants to give me.
I compose myself, finally finding the persona I've been so used to being in, taking to the good old strong-headed Edythe. "I'm truly sorry, Allister. But I'll have to decline your order."
The man frowns. "The stone is of great value. I would be willing to pay in great sum."
"Oh, as I'm sure you would, I wouldn't expect anything else", I offer, now wholly calm. "However, I must decline."
"The Camelot volts are well guarded. I'm sure a reputation such as yours wouldn't need to be worried of such niceties," Allister pushes, trying to stroke my ego. This only amuses me, as I am reminded of the reputation I'll be leaving behind. I enjoy the new life, and I find it hilarious that he would try to sway me.
"Well, yes, it would be a simple task", I boast, deciding I'll make it appear I don't want to take the task.
I wouldn't want every low life out there knowing I've become soft. I understand how illegal underground systems work. I don't want my whereabouts to be shared with my current state.
"I, however, do not wish to. You'll have to find someone else. Truly sorry."
Allister narrows his eyes on me, wondering why I would decline such an offering. "Very well", he caves, confused, looking me up and down as if trying to see if I have an illness controlling my thoughts. This amuses me more. "But if you change your mind, do deliver the order to a little cottage to the western valleys of the White Mountains." Allister pulls his hood over his face. I can see he is disappointed, wanting that desperately.
"Good day...Edythe," Allister grins sinisterly, disappearing into the alley before I can question him further.
I'm left standing in the alley, wondering with curiosity what that emerald stone must do and what it did to end up in the volts of Camelot. I wonder how Allister knows of such a stone and why he would want it.
I'm proud of myself for turning down my old lifestyle despite being tempted for a moment.