•●•●•●• you're a warrior, warriors don't give up and they don't back down. Pick up your sword and your shield and fight back. •●•●•●•
************************************
Bells
*****
My body slams down onto the hardwood floors of Lex's office. The wind is knocked out of me for a moment. A sharp pain shoots through my head, between each slap to my face and my screaming for Mawmaw, to say I have a headache would be an understatement.
As my senses come back to me, I hear a child weeping. Just as I glance up do I make eye contact with Sarahbeth while she is clinging tightly to Maggie. In the corner of the office Mia and Maggie sit close together. Each holding a crying baby. Baby Lee will not be calmed, his screaming is so frantic, poor Mia bounces him in her arms, trying her best to soothe her frightened newborn.
"Well, well," a voice all too familiar says from over me.
I roll over just enough to see the monster. Johnny is far too pleased with himself. Well, of course he should be. He just won the battle. Using my own mother against me but anything is fair in love and war, right?
"Stand up," he gives the command in calm even tone. It cover my skin in goosebumps.
On my feet I stand to face him. To be honest, I feel nothing. Not even the paralyzing fear that I had always assumed would come. No. I feel nothing. As if somewhere in my brain, a switch has been flipped, turning off any and all emotion. It has to be some type of survival tactic.
Johnny looks me up and down. Though I am still wearing my jet black clothes, he grins as if looking at my naked flesh. Time hasn't been good to him. Before he had at least been a halfway decent looking man. But now the years of dope and time in prison have taken a toll on him. On his arms and cheeks are deeply embedded scars, a few new wounds have been freshly picking into his skin. Most of his teeth have turned dark, some rotting out completely.
My mother looks in much better shape than he does. I wonder for a moment if she really had gotten clean at some point. And without thinking of what I am doing, I ask. The little girl that had never wanted to be heard from, now has a voice.
"Did you ever clean up?"
She stands to Johnny's right side. For the briefest moment, I thought I spotted a flash of sadness across her face.
"She had," Johnny answers for her. "Well, mostly. And she will again. We both will. Won't we baby?"
She gives him a small smile and nods her head. It's clear that she has been caught in his webb again. His hooks are just as deep as they always have been. It is sickening the way she falls for his lies. She might but I never will.
"You sober up? That's hilarious," I snap.
Johnny crosses his arms over his chest. A very impressed look on his wrinkled face.
"You've gotten a bit more snappy since you were little."
I hold my head up. "I'm not a little girl anymore."
"Oh, she's still in there though. Still lost an alone. Unloved and unwanted."
"You're wrong," says a new voice from behind me. It's Mia. She has remained in the corner but she stands now. "She is wanted and loved more than she knows."
Only her words bring forth any emotions. Yet I am quick to force them back. I don't want to show any sign of weakness. He already knows what this family means to me and he is using them against me. They are in danger because they took me in. The last thing I want is for any harm to come to any of them.
"Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever heard? While I've been rotting in that cell, you've been out here, searching for the perfect family to bring you in. You're smart, you choose well."
He opens his arms wide and spins in a circle.
They have money. Power. The prefect little family, as long as you're looking in from the outside. Did you know that Lex use to be one of the most wanted men in L.A., not to mention in the top ten of America. That was until he faked his death. His family, of course, kept his birth name. Only on paper did he ever change his name at all. That's why it took so long to hunt you down when you left campus. I didn't know who I was looking for."
"Well," I snap, not really caring how he found me. "It doesn't matter. You're here now. And so am I. You got what you wanted. So why not let them go?"
His dark eyes dart over to Mia and Maggie. Then back to me.
"I will. Once Lex brings me what I ask. Then they will be free to leave."
My brows knit together. "I thought all you wanted was me?"
Johnny crosses his arms over his chest.
"It was. Until I realized what you have here. Lex D'Amore is sitting on a fortunate. I need enough money to leave the country and start up a new life somewhere else. And Mrs. D'Amore here and her lovely children should give him the right amount of motivation to get me what I need."
Then I do something that I never would have thought possible in front of Johnny. I bust out laughing. So much so that I have tears welling up in my eyes.
"Think I'm funny do you?" He snarls.
"I think you're an bigger fool than I realized. Lex was going to probably beat you with in an inch of your life before. Just for breaking into his home like this. But to hold his wife and toddler and new born son hostage? He will kill you. I have no doubt."
"He can try. But he isn't here right now, is he?"
The look on his face turns and I know what he means. When he takes a step toward me, the fear that had almost left me completely, now takes me over. I can't let him touch me. If he touches me...... another step. I back away. Maggie starts to cry.
"Leave her alone, you animal! Don't touch her."
I hear Maggie's words but take my eyes off of him. Starts to toy with me. Making faces. Saying the most disgusting things. Rushing to me then stopping just before his skin touches mine.
Two men stand guard in front of Mia and Maggie. To keep them from moving or trying to help me. My mother stands beside Lex's desk, not wanting to see, but doing a thing to help me either.
"What is wrong with you?" Mia screams at my mother. "That is your child! You're no mother to her. Not even a friend."
"Don't even bother to waste your breath. She knows what's best for her," Johnny says back at Mia. "She knows her daughter was only ever going to grow up to be a whore. I just helped her along."
And just like that I stop backing away. In fact, I take one step toward him. The slap I lay on his cheek echoes through the room and it stuns everyone. Including myself.
"I am not a whore. I have never been and will never be. You can call me what you want, you can rape me again, and you can beat me again, but I will never be a whore or a victim. You will never make me into that, no matter what you try."
I hear a proud whimper from behind me and assume it is Mia.
"Well, we'll see about that!"
The punch that landed in my eye caused me to become dizzy but it was the second that knocked me out. It wasn't as if I had never been hit before. But that had been years ago. I had almost forgotten what it was like. When I came to, it was to find myself on a bed, being pushed down into the mattress. I could hear screaming. I know it was Mia and Maggie. The children cried. Though no one else it seemed was in the room with me. They had to be close by though.
I wasn't certain who's room I was in until I notice the magazines one the bedside table. They were of sport cars. I can barely make out Oscar's name on one of the trophies next to the lamp.
Johnny leans down to smell my hair.
He notices me looking at Oscar's name.
And he laughs.
"Yeah. I thought of how nice it would be to fuck you on his bed," he says close to my ear.
My hands have been tied to the head board and my legs are being pressed down. His weight presses me down to where I can't kick at him. My hoodie has been pulled off, the black tank top ripped down the center, and he looks down at me white lace bra. Johnny licks his lips.
"I knew you would be beautiful. That you would grow up into a sexy woman. You didn't disappoint," he mumbles. "And even the scars," he says as he touches my marked skin, "could make you less beautiful.
I try to keep my breathing normal. Try not cry. Try to stay strong. Try to push him off of me. The worst fear of my life is coming true, it's all happening all over again. I feel like I might vomit. I wish I would. Right in his face!