Natasha
“What”? Jake asks me shocked.
“Jake, darling keep it down”!. Medina warns her husband as the kids look our way startled.
“Sorry..I just thought I heard our dear Natasha here saying that she's the mother of that cutie pie over there”!. He wiggled his finger in his ear for a very..sarcastic , dramatic affect.
Damn here I thought I was the queen of sarcasm.
“Jakey..I wanted to tell you all but I j….”
“Tasha..If that was your intention then we wouldn't be here gawking at that poor little child”. He shakes his head in disappointment.
Jake is my one of my closest friends. The fact that we have known each other all of lives makes him extremely special and like a brother to me. I hate the way he’s looking at me now. His hurt and confused and I don't blame him or Medina. Medina is giving me time to explain myself but Jakey is different. He wants answers and he wants them now.
“Jake..please listen to me ..I will ex….”
He puts up his hand to stop me. Nope..he doesn't want to listen.
“Save it Tasha. I thought we were family. I thought you could come and tell me everything as I’ve always let you know that I’m here for you..always.” He turns to collect the fallen bags and walks out of the room.
“Jake ..please…” I sob out.
Medina gets up and walks up to sit right next to me. She puts her arm around me and gives me a side hug.
“Give him some time darling..you know how he’s like..let him calm down.” She kisses me on the cheek and leaned her head against mine.
“I hate it when he’s angry..he’s such a lovable bastard and when he’s like this he makes me feel like shit”. I whisper quietly.
“Tasha..We’re just extremely shocked. I mean this is huge darling. You're a mother..you have been for ..wait ..how old is Shalina”?. She pulls ways and looks at Shalina then back at me.
“She’s four ..my baby is four and three months.” I look at my daughter proudly.
Medina gets quite for a while thinking...Shit...Medina thinking is not a good thing right now as she will realise that I was pr…..
Yep..her eyes widen with realisation.
“That means you must have been pregnant when you went away..which means the father is from here”. She looks at me waiting for me to confirm.
Fuck..Why does she have to be Miss clever pants.
“Yes..yes..You’re right..The father is someone from here” I reluctantly agree.
“Who is he Natasha? If you don't mind me saying, but one look at that gorgeous girl over there, tells me it’s not the lovely Damian.”
Fuck! There she goes again. Columbo eat your heart out. Medina Jahan is in the house.!
Damian is black..If you guys are wondering.
“No it’s not..Damian and I have never been intimate, you know that...Can you just let it be Medina..please”. I pleaded..My heart is beating rapidly and my tummy clenches with nerves.
“Well whoever he is..he’s missing out on that beautiful child. Do you think that's fair Tasha?”
She looks at me with slight disapproval..but I know she will not push me..she will wait.
“I don't want to think about him or that right now”. I wipe my fucking, stupid tears.
Medina sighs softly and brings me closer to her. Thank God. That’s why I love her .she's always been supportive of me. We all have that kind of relationship. So close knitted. That’s why I don't blame Jake for his reaction.
“How’s Mamma and Uncle Jahan.” I ask ker whilst we stare at our children playing.
“Oh they will be so happy to see you..but be ready for their reaction regarding Shalina.”She warns me beforehand.
Shit..fuck..shit.
“Can you come with me. For moral support. “ I look at her clutching her hands.
“ If you want..but you’re still going to get it from them.” she laughs at my expression of dread.
“Come on..Let's go now..I want to get it over and done with it.” I quickly grab her hand.
“Wait” She chuckles. “Let me ask Jake to look after the kids.” She lets go and exit the room in search of Jake.
I take the time to go over and talk to the children. Yamin looks at me smiling .
“Are you my Aunty Nastasha?”. He ask me whilst building something out of blocks.
“Yes Darling I am. So that makes you my nephew”. I push my fingers through his soft hair.
“That’s good. I like having Aunties and uncles”. He replied happily.
“Well you're lucky. I also have an uncle and that's you grandad next door”. I replied proudly.
Who I sometimes wish was my dad.
“Oh Abu Jan..I love him and Mamma”. He expresses just as proud.
That's so sweet that he calls them that. Oh my God.. My baby girl is their grandchild too. I feel giddy when I think about that but then a sudden thought comes crashing into my moment of happiness and it hits me hard.
Shalina maybe their grandchild but she’s born out of wedlock which makes her illegitimate in society standards..fuck society I don't care about that ...I've never had. To me she's my be all and end all and also It’s normal for people to have children without necessarily getting married in this day and age but and this a huge motherfucking BUT...The Jahans are devout muslims, especially Medina, Sarina and their parents.
it's a huge, massive deal to them and their community.
Hakim has proven that he's not faithfully inclined as he would never have slept with me if he was. Unless it was that one time and to tell you the truth, I don't have an inkling about Hakim’s sexual life and neither would I want to.
Maybe that’s why he wanted to make it perfectly clear that it was a mistake. To him maybe but to me it was everything I was hoping and more. Fuck...I deter from that train of thoughts.
My God..if the Jahan’s where to find out that Shalina is their flesh and blood out of wedlock then it would be a huge embarrassment for them in their community. The muslim community around here are very strict and judgemental to their own. I know that in Islam you shoudn’t judge others ..Medina has told me this on may occasions...but that doens’t stop them from doing exaclty that. At the end of the day they’re are also human and no one is fucking perfect.
Fuck..Now I know that keeping Shalina’s father's identiy is for the best. I can't do that to the Jahans. I mean come on..Medina was in love with Jake but because he was a non believer at that time she forsaked her love and married Qumar. Obviously things worked out later on but she and Jake had to go through a lot to get where they are now.
My God her faith is strong. I envy her sometimes. That strong sense of believing in something with so much passion. Maybe sometimes I find myself thinking of the what ifs..
“Tasha dear, you ready”. Medina calls me from behind.
No..not really.
“Yes..coming..” I wipe away the tears that had crept up on me and kiss little Anousha and Yamin.
I take hold of a very reluctant Shalina and turn to see Jake standing there with his arm around Medina. Looking at me with a sexy as grin.
I quickly walked up to him and side hug him..kissing him on the cheek,
“Now now Tasha..I’m a muslim man and you shoudnt’ be doing that..boundries woman..boundries”. He scolds me Jokingly whilst staring at Medina.
“Very funny .” Medina rolls her eyes.
Remembering how Medina used to scream the words boundaries at him when they were younger.
Those days were so bittersweet and wonderful.
“I take it I'm Forgiven”. I look at him smiling.
“Well let’s say that my darling wife here, reminded me of a few things and it's a no and a yes”.He replied grinning and then looks down at Shalina crouching at her level.
“Hey there..My name is Mustafa AL Karim but people call me Jake”. He puts out his hand.
Shalina looks at him shly and puts her tiny hands in his large one. She then smiles and her dimples are on display.
“My name is Shalina, sometimes people call me Lina.” She replies shaking his hand.
“Well Lina..welcome to the family.” He then hugs her and my little girl hugs him back. Tears form in my eyes as this is the first male figure that has entered my Daughter's life and the moment is so sweet.
I look up to see Medina sniffling to. She looks at her husband with such pride and joy.
God..To have a man as loving as adorable as Jake in your life. Well actually I do..Jake has always been a part of my life and now he gets to be a part of my daughter's.
“Ready.?” Medina asks me ..I nod and I put out my hand which My daughter holds. Jake straightens up and touches Shalina’s curls tenderly.
“Well Good luck..You’re gonna need it missy.” He patted me on my shoulder , lips twitching.
“Thank you..Pray for me”. I reply tensley.
With that I make my way with Medina to the Jahan's next door., Who happens to be the grandparents of my beautiful baby girl and my fill in parents.
Fuck I’m shitting it...Maybe I should start praying to.
********
“Surprise”..I shout out nervously when my belived Mamma opens the door. She looks at me very much surprised and squeals with joy. Rushing in to my arms and engulfs me into her soft and familiar arms.
I start to cry and she joins in. Shushing me by stroking my hair and sniffling back tears of her own.
“I’ve missed you so much Mamma..so much”. I sob in her arms.
“Me to Loohri..Come ..come inside..your Uncle Jahan is inside.” She makes to pull me in and when she sees me tensing she looks down and her gaze lands on shalina in confusion.
Yep another confused person added to the list.
“Loohri..Who is this child”. She asks me with a cute puzzled look.
“uh..Mamma ..lets go inside first..yes” Medina my lifesaver interrupts.
She quickly agrees and taking one more look at shalina goes ahead of us shouting out for Uncle Jahans.. Well she never really says his actual name ..she calls him something else an endearing term as she gets embarrassed when she calls him by his name. It's a pashtun thing apparently. However Uncle Jahan loves calling her by her actual name as he loves her blushes.
Blushes run in the family The Jahan girls blush so prettily..My Shalina happens to be a cute blusher to ..that and flared nostrils when angry. Yep..a Jahan trait through and through.
I walk into the room and see Abu Jan standing with a smile on his beautiful face. Damn that man is one good looking man, Familiar hazel eyes look back at me...he looks so much like his fucker of a son Hakim.
Shit I’ve just realised that his eyes are the exact same color as my Shalina’s. Damn Hakim’s eyes are the exact color too.
Damn what if they find out..Fuck maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
“Little Tasha..”. Uncle Jahans cries out with joy.
I rush into his arms and he holds me like a father would hold their child if they haven't seen them in years. Fuck... The tears are back and I’m sobbing again.
“Shush ..loohri….It’s okay” He rubs my back gently and his baritone smooth voice calms me down.
“It’s okay now Uncle Jahan..It’s so good to see you.” I pull away and wipe away my tears.
Fuck ..what is is with these Beautiful...Caring..loving people.
“Why have you left it so long my loohri.? Five years is a very long time to be away..no?.” He lets go and beckon me to sit but then his eyes landed on Shalina and he falters.
Shit.
“Unce Jahan..Mamma..I would like you to meet my baby girl Shalina”. I pull Shalina closer and she stares at them equally curious. The Jahans look at her then back at me then each other.
“Your daughter”. Mamma asks..”How?..when?..wh…”
“Tasha loohri..”...Uncle Jahan interrupts Mamma softly....”I think you have a lot of explaining to do but for now I will like to enjoy your company and ..” He bends down to Shalina’s Height..”Get to know this khaista..(Beautiful) Child.” He smiles at Shalina and my heart gives a flutter when she instantly responds with one of her own.
I send Medina a look and she nods her head in support. She decides to put the kettle on and leaves me with her parents. She has my back and she knows I have her's. I Just hope when the truth is finally revealed for I know that It will..that she continues to support me, especially as she is tied to my daughter in more ways than one.
All of them are.
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xxxx