Rory is on the phone, trying to make himself heard above the noise of his stag party. All the participants are wearing red t-shirts with Rory's Stag on the back and a picture of Rory and Amy inside a heart on the front.
"Hey! It's me. Hello. How are you?" Rory says, he is talking to the answering machine "the reason for this call is because I haven't told you for seven hours that I love you, which is a scandal, and even if we weren't getting married tomorrow, I'd ask you to marry me anyway. Yes, I would, because you are smashing" a giant pink cake is wheeled in "oh. Oh. Oh, blimey. I've. I've, er got to go. I'll see you tomorrow" his companions push Rory forward.
"Out. Out. Out" I burst out of the fake cake followed by the Doctor and silence falls.
"Rory! That's a relief. I thought I'd burst out of the wrong cake, again. That reminds me, there's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could someone let her in and give her a jumper? Lucy? Lovely girl. Diabetic. Now then, Rory. We need to talk about your fiancée. She tried to kiss my husband" I say arms crossed.
"Tell you what, though. You're a lucky man. She's a great kisser" the Doctor mutters scratching the back of his neck, someone drops his beer glass and it smashes on the floor "funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine" the Doctor says quietly.
*Time skip*
The Doctor is hanging underneath the console platform, doing some welding, I stand next to him. Rory and Amy are there also.
"Oh, the life out there, it dazzles. I mean, it blinds you to the things that are important. I've seen it devour relationships and plans. It's meant to do that. Because for one person to have seen all that, to taste the glory and then go back, it will tear you apart. So, we're sending you somewhere, together" the Doctor says.
"Whoa. What, like a date?" Amy asks.
"Anywhere you want. Anytime you want. One condition. It has to be amazing. The Moulin Rouge in 1890. The first Olympic Games. Think of it as a wedding present, because it's either this or tokens" I reply.
"It's a lot to take in, isn't it? Tiny box, huge room inside. What's that about? Let me explain" the Doctor says.
"It's another dimension" Rory replies.
"It's basically another dimension. What?" the Doctor asks confused, the two of us make our way up from under the console.
"After what happened with Prisoner Zero, I've been reading up on all the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes" Rory explains.
"I like the bit when someone says it's bigger on the inside. I always look forward to that" the Doctor says.
"So, this date. I'm kind of done with running down corridors. What do you think, Rory?" Amy asks.
"How about somewhere romantic?" I smile, the TARDIS lands in the middle of the busy area, not even trying to hide
"Venice. Venezia. La Serenissima. Impossible city. Preposterous city. Founded by refugees running from Attila the Hun. It was just a collection of little wooden huts in the middle of the marsh but became one of the most powerful cities in the world. Constantly being invaded, constantly flooding, constantly just beautiful. Ah, you got to love Venice. So many people did. Byron, Napoleon, Casanova. Ooo, that reminds me. 1580. That's all right. Casanova doesn't get born for a hundred and forty-five years. Don't want to run into him. We owe him a chicken."
"You owe Casanova a chicken?" Rory asks.
"Long story. We had a bet" the Doctor says, he is suddenly stopped by an official.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Papers, if you please. Proof of residency, current bill of medical inspection" the Doctor holds up his psychic paper.
"There you go, fellow. All to your satisfaction, I think you'll find."
"I am so sorry, Your Holiness. I didn't realise" the Doctor blesses the man.
"No worries. You were just doing your job. Sorry, what exactly is your job?" the Doctor asks.
"Checking for aliens. Visitors from foreign lands what might bring the plague with them."
"Oh, that's nice. See where you bring me? The plague" Amy says.
"Don't worry, Viscountess. No, we're under quarantine here. No one comes in, no one goes out, and all because of the grace and wisdom of our patron, Signora Rosanna Calvierri."
"How interesting. I heard the plague died out years ago" I say.
"Not out there. No, Signora Calvierri has seen it with her own eyes. Streets are piled high with bodies, she said."
"Did she now?" the Doctor says, Rory takes the psychic paper from the Inspector, who moves on to his next target.
"Oi."
"Er, according to this, I am your eunuch," Rory says.
"Oh yeah. I'll explain later" Amy says.
*Time skip*
The iron gates swing open. Girls in white dresses with white parasols and heavy veils on their heads walk out two by two.
"The Calvierri girls" the Doctor, Amy, Rory and I are across the canal from the procession. A man runs up to the girls.
"Veils down, girls."
"What do you want?"
"Where's my Isabella?"
"What are you doing? Get away from there" the man lifts the girls veils until he finds his daughter.
"Isabella? Isabella, it's me" one of the girls knocks the man down.
"Girls, come along."
"She's gone."
"Isabella! It's me!"
"What was that about?" Amy asks.
"Isabella!" the Doctor and I have vanished.
"I hate it when they do that" Amy mutters, the Doctor and I walk into an alleyway.
"Who are those girls?" the Doctor asks the man.
"I thought everyone knew about the Calvierri school."
"Our first day here. It's ok. Parents do all sorts of things to get their children into good schools. They move house, they change religion. So why are you trying to get her out?" I ask.
"Something happens in there. Something magical, something evil. My own daughter didn't recognise me. And the girl who pushed me away, her face, like an animal."
"I think it's time we met this Signora Calvierri," the Doctor says looking at me which I nods.
*Time skip*
"You have my daughter. Isabella!"
"No, you're not coming in. Just stop there. Look, we've told you" the distraction enables the Doctor and me to sneak past and round to the water gate and sonic our way in.
"You have my daughter. Isabella! I demand you let me see my daughter."
"Go away."
"Isabella, it's me. It's your father."
"We will arrest you."
"Isabella!"
"Give it up, will you. Move off."
The Doctor and I go down a stone staircase to an area with a vaulted roof. There is an ornate mirror on one wall opposite three doors, the Doctor and I start checking ourselves out in the mirror.
"Hello, handsome" as he and I adjust our bow tie in the mirror, girls in white robes appear behind us. The girls in white have no reflections in the mirror.
"Who are you two?"
"How are you doing that? I am loving it. You're like Houdini, only five slightly scary girls, and he was shorter. Will be shorter. I'm rambling" the Doctor says.
"I'll ask you again, signor. Who are you?"
"Why don't you check this out?" the Doctor holds out the 'psychic paper'. The girls stare at it blankly, then the Doctor looks at it "library card. Of course, it's with. He's. I need a spare. Pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight and can't be seen. Ha. Am I thinking what I think I'm thinking? But the city. Why shut down the city? Unless..."
"Leave now, signor, or we shall call for the Steward if you are lucky."
"Ooo" the girls teeth turn into needles, and they start to advance on me, hissing, the Doctor grabs me pulling me towards him.
"Tell me the whole plan," the Doctor says, "one day that will work" he mutters "listen, we would love to stay here. This whole thing. We're thrilled. Oh, this is Christmas" the Doctor and I run back up the stairs.
*Time skip*
Night is falling.
"Doctor! Alex!"
"We just met some vampires" I say.
"We just saw a vampire," Amy says, soon her, the Doctor and I start talking over each other, Rory stands confused.
"And creepy girls and everything," the Doctor says.
"Vampires," Amy says.
"We think we just saw a vampire," Rory says.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Amy was just telling us" the Doctor says.
"Yeah, yeah. The Doctor and Alex actually went to their house" Amy says.
"Oh. Right. Well" Rory says.
"Ok. So, first, we need to get back in there somehow."
"What?" Rory says.
"How do we do that?" Amy asks.
"Back in where?" Rory asks.
"Come and meet our new friend" I say.
*Time skip*
A vellum map of Venice is laid on the table.
"As you saw, there's no clear way in. The House of Calvierri is like a fortress. But there's a tunnel underneath it, with a ladder and shaft that leads up into the house. I tried to get in once myself, but I hit a trapdoor" Guido says.
"You need someone on the inside," Amy says.
"No," the Doctor says.
"You don't even know what I was going to say," Amy says.
"Er, that we pretend you're an applicant for the school to get you inside, and tonight you come down and open the trapdoor to let us in" I say.
"Oh. So, you do know what I was going to say" Amy says.
"Are you insane?" Rory asks.
"We don't have another option," Amy says.
"They said no, Amy. Listen to them" Rory says.
"There is another option" Guido points to the collection of barrels behind Rory "I work at the Arsenal. We build the warships for the navy" the Doctor sniffs the barrels.
"Gunpowder. Most people just nick stationery from where they work. Look, I have a thing about guns and huge quantities of explosive" the Doctor says.
"What do you suggest, then? We wait until they turn her into an animal?"
"I'll be there three, four hours, tops," Amy says.
"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It can't keep happening like this. This is how they go. But we have to know. We go together, say you're our daughter" the Doctor points to himself and me.
"What? Don't listen to him" Rory says.
"Your daughter? You both look about nine" Amy says.
"Brother, then," the Doctor says.
"Too weird. Fiancé" Amy says.
"I'm not having him run around telling people he's your fiancé," Rory says.
"No. No, you're right" Amy says.
"Thank you," Rory says.
"I mean, they've already seen the Doctor. You should do it" Amy says.
"Me?" Rory asks.
"Yeah. You can be my brother" Amy says, the Doctor and I chuckle.
"Why is him being your brother weird, but with me, it's ok?" Rory asks.
"Actually, I thought you were her fiancé," Guido says.
"Yeah, that's not helping," the Doctor says, he then points to me "we're married."
"This whole thing is mental. They're vampires, for God's sake" Rory says.
"We hope" I say.
"So, if they're not vampires?" Amy asks.
"Makes you wonder what could be so bad it doesn't actually mind us thinking it's a vampire," the Doctor says making a face.
*Time skip*
Guido poles a gondola along. He is wearing Rory's stag party t-shirt, Rory, me and the Doctor sit in the gondola.
"She'll be fine," the Doctor says.
"You can promise me that, can you?" a few minutes later we stop.
"We're here," Guido says a while later Rory, the Doctor and I are walking through a tunnel.
"Right. Ok, I'll go first. If anything happens to me, go back" the Doctor says.
"What happened, between him and Amy? You said she kissed him" Rory says whispering to me.
"Now? You want to do this now?" I whisper back, the Doctor completely unaware of what the two of us were talking about.
"I have a right to know. I'm getting married in four hundred and thirty years" Rory says.
"She was frightened. I was frightened. But we survived, you know, and the relief of it, and so she kissed me" the Doctor says turning around.
"And you kissed her back," Rory says placing his hands on his hips.
"No. I kissed her mouth."
"Funny."
"Rory. Rory, she kissed him because he was there. It would have been you. It should have been you" I say.
"Yeah, it should have been me," Rory says crossing his arms.
"Exactly. That's why we brought you here" the Doctor says, a strong wind blows out their torch leaving us in complete darkness "can we go and see the vampires now, please?" the Doctor whispers grabbing my hand.
"Could you please let go of my hand" Rory says, I snicker, a while later the Doctor climbs up on Rory.
"Push. Come on" the Doctor gets out, Rory gestures to me, he helps me up the Doctor grabs my hand and lifts me up, they then help Rory up "there we are. Amy. Where's Amy? Amy?"
"I can't see a thing. Just as well I brought this, then" Rory produces a tiny penlight, the Doctor pulls out a small light saber.
"Ultraviolet. Portable sunlight."
"Yours is bigger than mine," Rory says.
"Let's not go there," the Doctor says, I laugh.
"If we cancel now, we lose the deposit on the village hall. The salsa band. Oh" Rory says, I open a nearby chest. It contains desiccated vampires "what happened to them?"
"They've had all the moisture taken out of them," the Doctor says.
"That's what vampires do, right? They drink your blood and replace it with their own" Rory says.
"Yeah, except these people haven't just had their blood taken, but all the water in their entire bodies" I say taking a stick of sorts out of my pocket and start poking one.
"Why did they die? Why aren't they like the girls in the school?"
"Maybe not everyone survives the process," the Doctor says.
"You know what's dangerous about you two? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around" I look at Rory a small frown on my lips.
"Who are you?" six girls have appeared. The Doctor waves his UV light at them.
"We should run. Run" I say, we run to a corridor, the Doctor running into something I grab him
"Oh! Rory, come on" the Doctor says, that's when three people block our way, one female and two males.
"Cab for Amy Pond?" I ask, Vampires block our retreat.
"This rescue plan. Not exactly watertight, is it?" the Doctor brandishes his UV light again.
"Ah ha!" the Doctor shouts, a girl and Amy run in.
"Rory."
"Amy."
"Quickly, through here."
"Seal the house" we once again enter a tunnel.
"They're not vampires," Amy says.
"What?" the Doctor asks.
"I saw them. I saw her. They're not vampires, they're aliens" Amy replies, I sonic the trapdoor hatch.
"Classic" I chuckle.
"That's good news? What is wrong with you people?" Rory says.
"Come on, Rory. Move" I say pushing Rory so he could move forward. The young male and the vampires catch up to us but are held back by the UV light. The male sends the girls ahead of him "keep moving. Come on, guys."