(A/N) Happy Birthday, Jazzikinssss!!🥂🎉 I won't tag you but you would expose yourself either way 😂😂
***
Her
(pronoun)
-Lauren Jauregui.
***
I followed the familiar melodious humming, that was coming from my living room. When I got there, it was her again.
The girl who plagued my dreams, and my conscious thoughts.
"Who...who are you?"
I couldn't see her face, but I could sense the amusement in her voice. She was the faceless girl, who I kept getting these visions, or were they dreams, of. It was driving me crazy, but in a sense, I liked it. I liked looking on at her.
But, I just wanted to know who she was.
Aphrodite wouldn't tell me because she wanted me to meet the girl in person, and get to know her, rather than what little visions I get of her.
"I'm just a figment of your imagination," she told me, and the way her voice sounded, I knew she was teasing me. Her voice was soft, and the reaction it had on my body, I knew I would've been done for if I had only seen her face. "I'm kidding," she laughed. "We haven't met yet, but I'm dying to."
"What's your name?" I asked hoping to figure something about her but so far, this was the first time I could've spoken to her. It wasn't exactly a vision like the previous ones. Maybe, more on the lines of the 'Ghost of my future'. "My name is..."
But she raised a hand to stop me. "Don't." I was confused as to why she would stop me. Didn't she just say that she was dying to meet me? If you're looking at technicalities, this wasn't us actually 'meeting', so I assumed that maybe she wanted us to meet in person, in reality and not ruin the future that could be us. "As much as I crave to hear your name, now isn't the right time. We'll meet soon, I assure you of that."
***
Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't love you back?
Have you ever been loved by someone who you didn't love back?
But I don't know which could be worse; to be broken, or to break another's soul.
I told myself that every good thing takes time, at least that's what people say, and I started to believe it.
But I don't know how much I believed.
I stepped forward into the light and tried to forget the darkness of my past experiences, but a bulge of said darkness walked with me still.
It's such a strange and emotionally draining journey, that I can't put into words to make you understand just what it's about.
You take each step, as though you're shackled to past burdens and experiences that you're just trying to let go of. There's nothing but that distant hum of your heartbeat that's telling you 'it's okay'.
Then you see, at the end of the tunnel, a light, a slight flicker. It's your way out.
Your saviour, in a sense.
You grip onto the hope that you've met along the way; friends, the lessons; the oh so painful lessons, the adventures, and last but not least, the love.
Everything good does take time, all you need to do is have faith.
All you need to do is believe.
***
"I can't believe you're still reading that dumb book," Maggie; my step sister and best friend of only a few years, I heard the slight teasing disgust in her tone. She took a seat next to me. I was just a year older than her, but sometimes by the way she acted, I felt as though I was decade or more her elder. But I still loved her tremendously. "If you don't have your nose buried in a book, you're in the kitchen. When am I going to ever get time with you? When am I going to be showered with love?! I need it! I deserve it!"
I laughed. She was so needy. To think, she had a boyfriend, but she spent more than with me than him. He was a surgeon, so on most days he was busy, and so was her, but she always made time to bug me. "You're spending time with me now, aren't you?" I asked without looking up from my book.
When I left Greece, I sought Aphrodite's permission and she granted it without missing a beat, she gifted me this book, and told me that it'll help me with finding my love. I don't understand what she meant by that. It was just a story about the Sun and the Moon. Their love story was a beautiful one, but tragic, nonetheless. They were the purest definition of soulmates.
One might say that they weren't. That they didn't end up together in the 'human sense' of being together. Marrying and having children, but as extraterrestrial beings now, their love is forever, and I couldn't help but crave that.
An eternal love.
An undying love.
Maggie snatched the book out of my hands, causing me to finally give her the attention that she yearned.
"Ugh!" I groaned. "I was getting to the best part!" I tried to grab the book from her, but she was a lot faster than me.
She laughed. "Now that I have your undivided attention, what do you say about us ordering in some Hawaiian pizza since that's your favourite and watching some scary movies?" Maggie grinned at me. "I've been meaning to watch 'The curse of La Llorona', and a sister date is just what we need."
"Watching scary movies for fun? Are you okay? Is everything okay at home?"
Maggie laughed loudly, causing a few heads at the hotel to turn in our direction, but she paid no mind to them. That's the thing I loved about her, she didn't care what people had to say, the only opinion that mattered to her was hers and from the people she loved. "We're from the same home, Eliana. You're just too much of a pussy to find the joy in watching horror movies."
I rolled my eyes playfully. On numerous occasions, I would indulge in watching horror movies with her, but I would have to watch a cartoon or any Disney movie to take my mind off the gore.
Raven passed by, we locked eyes for a few moments; she didn't say anything. She just nodded and walked away from us.
"That will always be extremely creepy," Maggie said. "Can she read your mind or something?" She asked genuinely intrigued. "Because if she can, that's incredibly cool. Wait! Can she read minds?! Because there are some thoughts that I have....that shouldn't be heard by anyone but me."
I giggled softly and shook my head 'no'. "No she can't, but we've known each other all our lives, so I guess our bond is just that good, that just by looking at one another; observing each other's demeanour, we know what's up." I shrugged. Maggie knew about who I was, so did her mother. They didn't seem to care, which was quite shocking but who was I to complain about things being too easy?
My mother; Anitta, had told my father that if Celeste and Maggie were going to be prominent figures in my life, they needed to know what they were getting into. Celeste was a bit sceptical about all this, but unsurprisingly, Maggie was okay with everything. She would always ask questions to make sense of everything.
Zeus; my great great grandfather, had granted a title unto Maggie, that she graciously accepted.
Messenger of the gods.
She was the line of communication between me and the gods; my family. I knew it was another means to keep an eye on me, to make sure I was okay, and not doing something extremely stupid, but I understood why they do what they do.
"She doesn't talk to me," Maggie stated. "Why?"
"She doesn't have any need to talk to you," I told her. Raven wasn't one, for friendship. She was a nice person, one of the sweetest people I've ever met, but she was only like that to me. "And she spoke to you already."
I followed Maggie's gaze, and she was looking at Raven, who was interacting with some guests at the hotel. My father made her the manager of the restaurant area, and I knew he didn't regret it. She was an asset to the hotel, and she performed her job effortlessly.
"Ray Ray!" I called out to her, and she spun around instantly. I beckoned her over to our table, and she came.
"Is everything okay, Camila?" She asked, looking at me. She spared a glance at Maggie, then looked back at me.
I looked at my sister then back at Raven. "Maggiekins here, is upset that you don't talk to her, or barely ever acknowledge her," I patted her on the thigh playfully. "So allow me to introduce you, Ray Ray, meet Maggie, Maggie meet my Ray Ray," I grinned, gesturing to the each of them.
Maggie cleared her throat awkwardly and Raven stared at her, her face not revealing what she was thinking. "I, uh, hi." Maggie said. I wanted to laugh but I decided against it. I always noticed something whenever Raven was around, Maggie would always be extremely awkward. But she had a boyfriend, and even though I could've, I didn't want to intervene.
Not yet, at least.
"Right," Raven said. "I'm sorry, I never thought it was necessary to make anyone's acquaintance besides Camila's or her parents." She held a hand out towards my sister who shook it. "Next time," Raven turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow, "Please don't yell out that embarrassing nickname in the middle of your hotel. Thank you." She walked away and began flipping through her clipboard.
"You like her," I wiggled my eyebrows playfully at her. "I can feel it." I clutched my chest dramatically.
She snorted. "I don't like her."
"Have you forgotten than I literally share the same bloodline as the goddess of love? Aphrodite herself?" Maggie stood and started walking away, my book in her hand. "You can't run away from me, Maggiekins! I know where you live!" I laughed as I yelled at her. "Give me back my book!" I whined.
She turned around and started walking backwards. "You're absolutely crazy you know that?" She laughed, and shook her head in amusement. "Being cupid isn't your job."
I stood, and began following her back to her room. "You know that it's literally my job to be cupid? Well, not exactly cupid but his right hand?" Maggie rolled her eyes, she knew it was the truth. We walked in silence for a moment, until I spoke up. "He's not your soulmate, you know that right?"
Maggie sighed and looked down at the floor. "I may believe in a lot of things that has to pertain to you being a demi god, but sometimes, I'm not too sure if I believe in the word 'soulmate'. I mean, I want to, but then there's a part of me that tells me that isn't realistic. That the only love we get, is the love we find for ourselves."
As humans, you accept the love that you think you deserve.
She looked so sad, and I didn't understand why. Maybe it was the fact that she thought her parents were never meant to be. Her dad died when she was just a child, and my father was the only man she knew her mother to love. This in a sense, just meant that her parents weren't destined to be together. That's what she thought, at least, and that she was born out of a love that wasn't supposed to happen.
A mistake.
Two souls meeting and trying to defy fate, but as fate would have it, her father was taken away from her.
Away from her mother.
However, love isn't always black and white like that. Sometimes, a soulmate is just someone you spend the rest of your life loving, even though you're no longer together.
Sometimes a forever, is only a numbered days.
"Your parents," Maggie began, but paused as she fished for the keys to her penthouse, once she opened it, she flicked on the lights to illuminate the room. She shrugged off her coat, and took a seat on the couch. She patted a seat next to her, and who was I to deny my sister? "Do you think that they were soulmates?"
I didn't know how to answer that question. Sure, I knew my parents' love burned deep. That my mother still wished nothing but the best for the man that gave her me. I knew that within every fibre of my bones, they still loved each other, but they had to accept the truth. They had to face reality, and reality was that they weren't meant to be together.
So, I told Maggie the truth.
"No, I don't think they were soulmates," I took hold of one of Maggie's hands and mindlessly began to play with her fingers. She had really nice hands. They were pretty soft, I made a mental note to ask her what sort of body lotion did she use. "The reality of it, is that they defied fate. Simple as that. I don't think ill of it. My parents are happy as they are. Maybe not as happy as they should be, but they're happy and they still love one another. Not in the way that they used to, but they do. There's still love between the two of them, and I think that's all that truly matters."
The most heartbreaking thing about falling in love is that, eventually, you'll have to learn to let go of all the feelings that you possess within your heart.
"How do you do it?" Maggie asked suddenly. I turned to look at her, not understanding what she was asking me. "How do you wake up everyday knowing they're not going to be there at the end of the day?"
I shrugged. I had only ever been on a few dates, but I've never had any sort of emotional attachment to anyone that I've dated before.
"You'll miss them so much that it hurts. Whether it's 3 in the morning or 12 in the afternoon, you're having lunch with your friends. It's going to hurt." Maggie nodded. "You'll have all this love left in you and no one to give it to. How do you move on when you're so in love?"
I asked rhetorically. I didn't need an answer, and I don't think she really wanted one either.
"Everything takes time, Maggiekins," I rested my head on her shoulder and she placed hers, laying it lightly on mine.
"Can I tell you something?"
"You're not going to confess to a murder aren't you?" I asked teasingly and looked up at her, to lighten the mood. "Because I'm gonna snitch."
She laughed loudly, and I was glad to hear that sound again. Maggie wasn't one to be serious, well not to me anyway.
"Firstly, I would never confess to a murder, even if I did it. Secondly, I would never confess to a murder to you. You'll spill the beans, and I would definitely end up in prison. No doubt about it," she told me, and I couldn't deny any of the points she was making. "Thirdly, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. It was just me and my mom for so long, and now I have you. I have a family; an unconventional one, but still a family that I never knew I needed until I got it. I may not be quite convinced about the idea of soulmates, but you, Eliana, you're my soul sister and I love you to the moon and back."
I threw my arms around her and pulled her closer to me, even though we were already as close as we could've been. "I love you too, Maggiekins. You're not one to get sappy, so I don't know where this is coming from," I laughed. My eyes were beginning to form tears in them, but they were happy tears and I didn't care. She stroked my back comfortingly. "I never knew I needed you in my life until that day in the library when I was crying of frustration, and this one random girl came and sat next to me." I pulled away and looked up at her, a smile on my lips. "I love you too. To the moon and back."
*Flashback*
"Crying during the first week of college?" I had my face buried in my hands, as I tried to hold back my sobs, but they kept coming. I didn't want to be crying in public, but since I've been here, I've seen a few people crying in their classes. It never crossed my mind that university would have been this stressful. "Honestly, what a whole mood."
I removed my hands from my face and wiped at my eyes. I was literally shocked when I saw the person who was standing before me.
She was the epitome of beauty. Mind you, I've seen a lot of beautiful women within all my years of life. Her skin was that of a light caramel, her hair was a dyed dark blue. It looked long and silky. I didn't have to touch it to know just how soft it would have felt.
She was beautiful to say the least.
"Mind if I have a seat?" She didn't wait for an answer, she just took a seat, and began rummaging through her back pack. "My name is Margarita, like the alcohol, by the way. I don't know what my parents were thinking when they named me that. They practically dubbed me an alcoholic since the womb, but anyway, everyone calls me Maggie." She sent me a warm smile, and this was the friendliest interactions that I received since I was here.
"My name is Camila, and there's well no fond stories as to how I got my name," she laughed as I told her. I half expected her to ask me what was wrong and why I was crying, but she didn't and I was thankful for that. This was all too new for me, and I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to survive outside of Santorini.
Mount Olympus.
Outside of my mother's protection.
Sure, I had Raven, and she was a great help with coping but she wasn't in any of my classes and it was hard for me to make friends. What if they didn't like me?
"Where are you from?" She...well, Maggie asked, and I could hear an accent escaping her lips. "I'm from Spain, Barcelona to be exact. I spent most of my time in Ibiza though, but my heart will always be in Barcelona."
"I'm from Santorini," I told her. She kinked an eyebrow at me. "What?"
She shook her head and smiled. "Nothing. It's just I visited there recently, it's really beautiful." A lot of people found Santorini beautiful, and I had to agree with them. Not just the scenery, but the people, the food, the culture, everything about there was beautiful. "Would it be too weird if I wanted to use a pick up line on you?" Maggie laughed.
I blushed, and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Not really."
"Okay, because I was going to say Santorini maybe be beautiful, but nothing in comparison to you," she smiled at me, and went back rummaging through her backpack.
"Spain?" I asked genuinely curious of the country. I didn't know how to respond to her compliment, so I decided to ignore it. "I've always wanted to visit there. "What's it like?"
"Describing it with words would never do it justice," Maggie said and pulled out her phone. "Here's some pictures of when I was there last Christmas." I went through her pictures and I felt a tinge of sadness that I couldn't, well haven't seen these places before. I was lucky enough to be let off the leash to go to university, but I wanted to see the world. "Just stop at the one with the Christmas tree, I don't want to scare you if you scroll too far," she grinned.
I didn't know what she meant until I looked at her facial expression, and realisation dawned on me.
Right, no scrolling passed the Christmas tree.
Anyway, I wanted to live.
I wanted to be able to experience a life that I created for myself, not a life that was placed upon me at birth.
"It's really beautiful. Why leave Spain and come to Greece?" I asked her.
Maggie shrugged. "I'm on the run for murder, actually. And, I may also be in search of an adventure." I gave her back her phone. "I'm just kidding," she laughed. "I am in search of an adventure, but I got a scholarship to come to Greece, and I couldn't say no. This university is insane."
"Have you ever been to anywhere else?" I asked, intrigued about her travels. If I couldn't visit them, I could live vicariously through someone else.
"I've been to quite a few places. 'Murica, Iceland, Australia; it's hotter than a sauna there might I add. Slovenia, Cyprus, Nepal, Vietnam, Poland, India, Kenya, Iraq, Lebanon, and I've visited the Caribbean," she shrugged and began to doodle in one of her books. "I don't like to visit the popular countries. You see those in pictures every time you go on Instagram, or any social media if I'm being honest. Some places I've visited wasn't for the sites, it was to help and make a difference in someone's life, and I'm happy to say that I have helped a few."
"Is it safe to say that I'm literally jealous of you?" I asked, because I really was. I wanted to find some sort of excitement. Make a difference in someone's life.
She stopped drawing and laughed. "You don't have to be jealous, you can always come with me the next time I decide to go somewhere. My mom's treat."
I sighed. "I don't think that's possible."
"Why?" Maggie asked. "Protective parents?" She stopped drawing to look me in the eyes.
"Family more like it," I shrugged, not wanting to get into it. "But maybe one day. What do you plan to do after you're done with university?"
She tapped her pencil against her book and shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure. I think that's the beauty in life. Even if you make plans for something to happen, fate always directs you somewhere else. I'm thinking about going to the States after, maybe. I don't know. What about you?"
"I might take over the family business," Whatever that was. Be it my dad's chain of hotels or intervening in people's love lives.
"Well," Maggie grinned at me. "Whatever it is that fate has in store for you, I hope I get to see it."
*End of flashback*
***
It was the middle of the night, after watching some movies with Maggie, I headed back to my room, even though she told me that it was okay to stay with her, but I couldn't. Maggie was a bed hogger and so was I, so that definitely wasn't going to work.
"Hey," Raven greeted me once I entered my own suite. "How was your day?"
I sighed heavily. "Tiring. Work is exhausting but I love every minute of it. How was yours?"
"I can't complain," Raven shrugged. "As long as you don't get into any trouble, my days go just fine."
I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved her, on my way to my bedroom. "That's mean, Ray Ray. I'm going to have a shower. Wanna join?" I wiggled my eyebrows playfully as she followed me into my room, as I was about to change out of my clothes for the day.
She blushed, and I could feel the awkwardness, radiating off her. "I'll...uhh..." Raven pointed behind her, out to the living room. "I'll be in my room. See you in the morning, call me if you ever need anything."
"Good night, Ray Ray!" I laughed. "Love you!"
"Night, Camila. Love you too."
***
It was the middle of the night, and even though sleep came easy to me, tonight it escaped me. I tossed and turned in my bed, shutting me eyes, hoping for sleep to come but it never did. I sighed heavily and looked at the clock. The blue light eliminated the digits revealing to me that it was two in the morning.
I had about four more hours before I had to wake up and prepare myself for work. It wasn't mandatory for me to go every single day, or so my father said. He was just happy to finally have me near him. But I loved to be in the kitchen. I loved working with my hands and creating things.
Cooking was an art form, and I enjoyed being around it as much as I could.
Another of my hobbies was drawing. I didn't truly get into it until I met Maggie. She was always lost in her own world doodling whatever that came to mind. I won't say I was an excellent artist, but I wasn't that bad.
Seeing that I couldn't sleep, I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil from under my bed, and decided to lose myself in a world that I could create.
I tapped my pencil against the paper, waiting for inspiration to strike, and strike it did. It was as though my hand had a mind of it's own and began drawing God alone knows what. It was only when I was finished with the drawing, I felt a sense of familiarity with my art.
It was a pair of beautiful eyes.
I wasn't sure of the colour of them, as I drew it in black and white, but the longer I stared at them, the more I felt it boring into my soul. It was as though it was the Mona Lisa and it's eyes were following me, no matter what direction I moved in.
Creepy.
But also, not that creepy.
I felt as though it was calling out to me somehow, and I couldn't understand why. That's when my mind drifted to her.
What if this were her pair of eyes?
But how could I draw something that I've never even seen? Although, I really wanted to meet her. To save myself from all the agonising days, weeks, months or maybe even years of waiting to finally meet her.
I trusted Aphrodite.
I did, but when was it going to be the right time to meet her?
I would hear her voice in my head. I would hear her laughter, and god was her laughter the most melodious sound that anyone would ever hear in their entire life.
I'm not an impatient person, but when it came to matters of my heart, I guess I became one.
"Hey," I heard a knock on my door, revealing it to be Raven. "You okay? I heard some noises in your room, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
I nodded, and patted the space next to me. Raven obliged. "I just couldn't sleep, so I decided to do some drawing." She looked into my sketchbook and smiled. It was like one of those 'proud mom' smiles.
"You're incredibly talented, you know that right? Your drawings never cease to amaze me," Raven said. She would always highly praise my talents, and I would try to downplay them. I didn't think that I was as talented as people portray me to be.
I ran my fingers over the drawing and sighed. "You may think I'm crazy but..." I trailed off and shrugged. "I think this is her. I mean, I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I feel like it's her."
Raven nodded in understanding. Being my best friend and all, I had to tell her about my visions and what Aphrodite had told me about my soulmate who I hadn't met as yet. She was happy that I would meet someone who she deemed 'worthy' of me, because given my bond with Aphrodite, Raven knew I was in good hands.
"You're still getting the visions and stuff?"
"Yeah," I placed my sketchbook on my nightstand and laid down in bed, Raven following suit. She mindlessly reached for one of my hands and intertwined our fingers. "I think I'm going to go crazy thinking about her. What if she doesn't like me?"
My best friend laughed softly. She turned her head to look at me in the dimly lit room. "It's impossible not to like you, Camila. You're dorky, you're sweet, you're incredibly smart, insanely talented, and did I mention you're extremely beautiful?" She kissed the top of my forehead, causing me to smile. "You're amazing inside and outside, she'll be crazy not to like you."
"Do you like me, Ray Ray?" I grinned. The use of the nickname causing her to groan. "Because I just so happen to like you, and you know who else likes you?" I nuzzled her shoulder with my nose, and I knew she must've regretted coming to see me. "Maggie."
Raven coughed loudly. "Okay," she tried to move from my bed and I latched onto her body. "Let me go, I need to get some sleep."
"Nuh uh," I shook my head 'no' as I held on to her. "No can do, Ray Ray, and you knew your fate when you came into my room at this hour. I'm not going to let you leave." After her futile attempts to get out of my grasp (we both knew that Raven was a lot stronger than me, but she tried to boost my ego because that's just how much of a best friend she was), she decided to stay. "So, about you and Maggie, do you like her?"
Raven shrugged. "I don't know her to like her. She's beautiful," she said. "And she's smart from what you tell me, but I really can't comment on if I like her."
I always felt something the moment Raven and Maggie met, but I didn't want to have to intervene in my sister's life; even though I really wanted to. Maggie deserved the world and I was sure that she could've found it in Raven. She needed to believe that soulmates were real.
It's one thing to make two complete strangers fall in love, it's another thing if it's people that you know and love tremendously. Especially if the relationship doesn't work out, you'll blame yourself. Just because two persons aren't destined to be together, it doesn't mean that it's set in stone and life won't happen and tear them apart.
That's what scared me about the mystery girl and I. What if we do happen to meet, and we do fall in love?
What happens if I fall so head over heels in love with her, and something bad happens and we end being taken away from one another?
What if she realises that love isn't what she wants and she leaves me?
What if?
What if?
What...if?
"But what if she's your soulmate?"
Raven stayed silent and for a second, I assumed she fell asleep, until she spoke up. "I'm not looking for love, Camila. I'm here to protect you. To help you find your love. The matters of my heart is irrelevant."
"Do you really think that?" I turned my body in place to get a better look of her. "Because I can't have you thinking that, Ray Ray."
"Why is that even important to you?"
I raised my index finger, "Because one; it's my duty." I raised another finger, "Two; everyone deserves to be happy and in love. Lastly, three; you are my best friend. You've seen me through my worse, and you've been there through my best, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. I'm not saying throw yourself at Maggie, but just get to know her."
"Doesn't she have a boyfriend?" Raven asked, reminding me of that minor detail.
I shrugged. "So you don't think you can take him?"
She laughed softly and shook her head. "I'm not a home wrecker, although it may seem like you are," Raven teased. "You're one of a kind, Camila Cabello and I thank the gods for placing me in your path."
***
"Camilita, mija," my dad greeted me with a kiss to my forehead. "Why are you here so early?"
My dad was a Spanish entrepreneur. He was born and raised in Madrid. When he was 21, he came to Greece and met my mother and it was possibly one of the most memorable business trips he must've had in his entire life.
To him, he met the love of his life.
"I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to start the day early," I told him as I tied my apron around my waist and placed my chef's hat on my head. "Is something wrong with that?"
My father sighed. "You're in America to make your dreams come true, mija. Why don't you go out and have some fun? Take Raven with you, Maggie or what was her name? The one with the very long surname," my father laughed. "Octavia, was it?"
I began chopping up some vegetables, to begin my dishes. The other chefs were in the kitchen already and had an early start on the menu as some guests would start to wake up very soon.
"Papa, Raven has to work. Maggie does too and I don't really see Octavia. Plus, who's to say I'm not making my dreams come true?" I stopped chopping to look at him.
My father approached me, smiling softly. He held my face in his hands. "I love you, my little firefly." He kissed my forehead tenderly, causing a huge smile to find it's way on my lips. "Follow your heart. Nothing else. Trust your heart."
My duty is to my heart.
***
(A/N) So, spill the tea, my dudes!!
What are our thoughts? Don't be too honest because I'm soft and my feelings get hurt easily 😔😂